This is War
by Tea'nThoughts
Summary: Yes, there is a war. Yes, there is angst. Yes, there is adventure,friendship, love and gore. Yes, there is a better summary within. This is the companion story to Hero, but there is also more explanation of that inside. AU
1. Chapter 1

**Summary/Info:** _This is War_ is somewhat of a sequel to _Hero_, however, each works as a stand-alone story. You don't have to read them in any particular order and you don't have to read both to understand the plot. Think of it like Chain of Memories or Birth by Sleep; _Hero _and _This is War_ are taking place at the same time as each other. I will say that _This is War_ has a more complete storyline and thicker plot, but _Hero _is darker and an AkuRoku story whereas this one is RiSo.

So, onto the real summary: Riku notices some odd goings-on in his hometown and there have been rumours that a war is on the rise. The lovers struggle to find footing for their relationship during times of secrecy, fighting and loss. Many people made and make mistakes that have and will leave wounds that may become infected and refuse to heal, or ones that will scar over with the help of a friendly hand.

**Themes:** There is some romance between Sora and Riku as well as some mention of Axel/Roxas. Friendship in times when it is needed for strength. Adventure in the discovery of who really is the hero of the story. Angst for young men failing to see the light peeking through their dark actions. Hurt/comfort in the loss of lovers, brothers, beauty and pride. And humour, sometimes dark, for a break in all that drama.

**Inspirations:** 30 Seconds to Mars' CD, This is War, was the album running through my head when I wrote this part. Also, my best friend who pestered me about what was happening to the Twilight Town characters during my writing of _Hero_ was the main prompt for _This is War_. Thanks to my sister for being the first to read this.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own these characters and I fear I may do some damage to them, sorry Square Enix.

* * *

><p><strong>New Faces<strong>

He was going to be early that morning, but he didn't care all that much. Riku woke before the sun even winked at Twilight Town. He laughed a little as his feet touched the floor. The hardwood was cold despite it being summer's end as well as the first day back to school. He had brought this on himself.

As he went about doing his morning business and filing books and binders into his bag, he wondered if Sora had slept well that night. Again, Riku laughed as he imagined Sora sprawled on his bed at the farmhouse, boxers twisted and shirt rising higher than the sun was now. He probably slept like a log.

In the summer Riku had spent at least four nights a week sleeping in Sora's bed and instead of his boyfriend spreading his limbs haphazardly over the bed, he had been spreading them over Riku. It was more than a little annoying to have Sora's hand slap down on his mouth in the middle of the night, Riku thought as he slipped his shoes on and shrugged his backpack over his shoulder, but it was nice to wake up the next morning with Sora's fingers lightly pawing his nose. He had no idea it was possible to feel lonely when asleep.

The lane outside his house was so quiet he closed his front door as if there was someone sleeping just inside the house. The sun started to seep through the cracks of houses and he soon saw shadows move in the windows as the people of Twilight Town started to wake. Riku continued walking through the crisscrossing residential part of town.

He was the only one out and about at the moment, something he was thankful to the small town for. Riku had ventured to the larger cities surrounding the town and there people didn't look to the sun or moon for time, but to their clocks. Then again, Riku smiled to himself, how many times had he had to put his lips to Sora's ear in the summer and tell him to wake up because the sun had been shinning for hours?

"Here witchy, witchy, witch," a voice slurred while a couple others laughed.

Riku paused at the mouth of a side street to cautiously peer down it to see who had spoken. His mouth set in a firm line when he spotted three teenagers stumbling as much down the street as they were to the left and right. He guessed that if there had been a wind he would have smelt alcohol mixed with bad breath. Riku watched them laugh and trip, calling out obscenities while he tried to figure out why these guys were bumming around the walls of sleeping Twilight Town people. Riku didn't like the first day of school either, but he wasn't about to cure it with zero sleep and alcohol.

The teens didn't look familiar either, which was odd for a number of reasons. For one, Twilight Town's high school population was so low that there were only three teachers and classes were divided randomly with little regard to age. It was very unlikely for Riku to have never bumped into every student at least once. Although, Riku's eyes narrowed with puzzlement, it was hard to tell who they were with their backs to him and those ridiculous black caps and coats shrouding their bodies. It almost looked like they were in uniform, but he didn't know what organization they would belong to.

They continued down the street on their 'witch hunt', oblivious to Riku's presence. He was thinking about following them just to make sure they weren't actually going to burn anyone at the stake, when he heard running footsteps from behind.

"Riku!"

Riku backed away from the street and let his shoulders loosen. He hadn't even realized how tense he was until he looked away. He turned around and waited for Kairi to catch up to him.

She jogged to him with a smile on her face.

"I saw you pass by my window," she said, pointing a thumb over her shoulder to a small house a block away. She leaned her back up against the fence of the house they stood in front of and fanned herself with her hand as she said, "It took me a moment to find my shoes. You're up pretty early too. What's your reason?"

"I just couldn't sleep, I guess," he replied with a shrug while his eyes still lingered on the side street. He could hear their laughter vaguely, but it was becoming just another noise as people began rousing, opening windows or putting dogs out.

Riku turned his attention to Kairi who was now peering down the street, watching the teens meander down the way.

"And what's your excuse?" Riku asked.

"Me? I didn't have one until I saw you walk by," Kairi answered, tearing her eyes from the strangers. "I needed to talk to you before we met up with Sora. I was planning on catching you when you walked past my place. In some ways I guess I'm lucky those idiots were partying outside my window at six in the morning. I would have missed you otherwise."

Curiosity and dread coursed through Riku's mind at the thought of the drunken people gargling alcohol down while cajoling against the wall as Kairi tried to stuff pillows into her ears.

"They've been around here since six?" Riku asked and nodded down the now deserted street. Kairi responded with an eye roll and nod.

"Actually even earlier. I just couldn't get back to sleep after six," Kairi yawned and rubbed at her eyes, "They're not causing any real trouble so just let them be, Riku."

Riku grinned and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I never said I was going to do anything," Riku said mischievously and shared a smile with Kairi. "Anyway, you said you had something to tell me?"

"Mm hm," she nodded. Kairi perked up, bouncing on the balls of feet and looking at Riku with bright eyes. Proudly she announced, "I won't be walking with you, Sora and Roxas today, and I'll be late for class. So if you wouldn't mind telling Professor Diz that I'll be late? Just tell him I'm showing a new student around the school."

"Okay, as long as you promise to find Sora and I later on. You can bring the new kid too."

"Great!" Kairi said happily.

She pushed off the wall and into Riku's arms. She pulled away and backed up, headed down the street towards her house.

"Bye!" she called over her shoulder and waved. Riku waved back and turned around to continue walking.

For good measure, he checked the side street again, but there was only an old man settling down into a rocking chair on his porch at the end. The teens were gone, leaving only an empty bottle to roll in the slight summer breeze as the sun poured over the roofs and into the street.

* * *

><p>Riku took a haphazard route through the town, literally doing a circle around a block, to reach the outskirts and wait under the old crab apple tree that he usually met the brothers at. He was still a little early, but knowing Sora he wouldn't have long to wait. Whether they were in preschool or high school, Sora was always eager to get to class early on the first day. Riku smirked as he sat beneath the rustling leaves of the tree. It was probably his fault Sora wanted to be there early on the first day. He and Riku were always competing with each other so anything vaguely related to ranking would put a determined gleam in Sora's eyes. Then again, Riku thought as he caught sight of the brothers who bolted for him as he stood up, maybe Sora was just happy to see everyone again.<p>

"I'm gonna beat you so bad," Sora barked at his brother as the neared the tree at a dead-set pace.

Then again...Riku thought, shaking his head.

"Like hell, chicken legs. There's no way I'm doing the dishes tonight," Roxas snapped back.

Sora laughed as he tried to cut Roxas off, but ended up causing a collision and both cursed as they bounced ass over head to a dust clotted stop at Riku's feet.

It took Sora a moment to remember his body's natural order and flop over so at least he had a view of the sky instead of dirt. As his head started clearing, he could hear Roxas calling him a whole alphabet of names and see Riku staring down unsurprised at him.

Sora coughed and nearly choked on dirt as he asked Riku, "Who's doing the dishes tonight?"

Riku looked down at the boys who stared eagerly up at him. Sora was practically drooling for an answer while Roxas' expression continuously flipped from anxious to amused.

Riku raised his hand and pointed to Roxas, who had a moment of alarm that unhinged his mouth and opened his eyes. Riku smirked and said, "Roxas won. Sora, you're doing the dishes tonight."

Sora slapped a hand over his face and groaned while Roxas laughed and reached a hand up for Riku to pull him to his feet. Roxas leaned into the pull and got close enough to Riku to whisper into the other's ear.

"It was a tie wasn't it?"

Riku gave no reply except for a secretive grin that left Roxas shaking his head. He let go of Roxas' hand and both boys turned to look down at Sora who still lolled in the grass. Riku got down on his knees and knelt over Sora's head. He looked over his shoulder to see Roxas smiling softly with his arms crossed and hair swaying in the breeze.

He turned back to Sora and said teasingly, "You shouldn't have asked me to be the judge."

"Why not? You're supposed to show favouritism!" Sora chided playfully and refused to remove his hand from his eyes, even when Riku tried to pry it away.

"Because, dumbass," Riku said, pinching Sora's nose closed so he was forced to open his mouth. Riku's lips hovered over Sora's, close enough that they tickled with the light touch. Sora's lips quivered from a smile to a pucker, expecting Riku to kiss him any moment. Riku grinned mercilessly and said, "The one thing I love more than you is teasing you."

Riku stuck his finger in Sora's expectant mouth causing him to splutter and flap himself into a sitting position, while Roxas cackled in the background. Riku sealed Sora's rant of indignation with a chaste kiss.

"You should have known better," Riku laughed quietly into Sora's ear, "I'm not going to kiss you that deeply in front of your little brother."

Riku shifted to stand but Sora pulled him into the dirt.

"Fine, pretend to be mister proper but," Sora whispered into Riku's ear with a mimicking laugh, "don't think I'm letting this go"

"Who knew lovebirds nested on the ground," Roxas taunted as he started to walk towards town. Hayner, Pence and Olette would probably be kicking around the school by now, waiting for him and Sora.

Sora and Riku's eyes turned up at Roxas' comment, but they said nothing. It might have been the first day of school, but the sun didn't seem to get the memo. It shone just as bright and warm as it had all summer, making them envy the cats that often sunned themselves lazily on the porches of Twilight Town.

"I'm gonna go find the others," Roxas said, as he moved from the shade of the small tree and blinked in the sun. His lips quirked with mischievousness as he said, "See you later mom and dad."

Sora jerked, as if he was about to spring to his feet, causing Roxas to take off with his schoolbag bouncing off his shoulders and grass kicking up in his wake. Sora flopped against Riku and watched his brother run away.

"What? You're not going to chase after him for that?" Riku asked and shook his leg to bounce Sora. "Don't tell me that jog over here drained you. I know you have more stamina than that."

"Ha, ha yeah," Sora agreed. He pinched Riku's knee and running his hand up and down Riku's leg as he shrugged, "I'm not really offended considering I am the older brother and the one that keeps the house and farm running. Well, _mostly_ running. Maybe limping is a better word ha, ha..."

Riku kissed the side of Sora's face, I hopes to press as much of his admiration into his boyfriend as he could. Roxas and Sora had some family money, and enough time in the summer to tend to the fields and animals that could earn them a little more then. Riku helped out as much as he could with the summer farm work and in the fall he took on the duties of tutor to Sora and Roxas when they left class early or came in late. It was a little frustrating for Riku when Axel came into the equation. Riku was an amazing student and excellent at math, yet the addition of Axel boggled him because sometimes that addition equalled only two helping hands instead of four.

Sora slapped a hand down on Riku's thigh as he got to his feet. After he dusted the dirt from his pants and gave up on the grass stains, he offered a hand to Riku.

"C'mon, mom, we've gotta get to class."

Riku paused with his hand reaching towards Sora's and gave Sora an exasperated look.

"Hey, you sentenced me to dishes. Besides, there are way worse things I could call you, _mommy_," Sora said. He laughed as he grabbed hold of Riku's arm and pulled him to his feet.

Riku snorted but slung his arm around his grinning boyfriend's shoulders all the same.

* * *

><p>"And once again we join in this room to continue cultivating our skills and tending to our minds," Professor Diz said as he stood at the front of the classroom.<p>

The room was stuffy, but not because stuff was actually packed into the room. The class was maybe a dozen students in its body and even less present in the combined intellectual presence. The small class boxed in a 30 by 40 foot crate with only three windows, no breeze and a sun hell bent on going out of summer with a blazing bang, felt deoxygenized and tired.

Riku could feel a droplet of sweat sliding down the side of his face and taunting the rest of his dry body. He rubbed at his temple and swept his bangs from his forehead. What he would do to be gone from this classroom and outside. Perhaps he should have joined the kids on the side street this morning. They certainly weren't dehydrated and probably could deal with the heat because they would feel only the sun's drowsy lull. A slight creak from the chair beside Riku suggested that Sora had let his eyes blink closed a second too long and had lost balance in his chair.

Sora peeked around and over his shoulder to see if anyone had seen and by Hayner's laugh, Olette's hand covering her mouth and Roxas smiling knowingly at his brother, the others had noticed. Pence was probably sympathetic to Sora's cause since he was resting his head on his desk and unresponsive to the snickers around him. Diz looked up at the noise and a smile settled on his lips as he closed his eyes briefly.

"Perhaps we ought not to start at the height of the stem, but rather return to the roots we set firmly in place those few months ago," Diz chuckled. He turned to the black board to pull an unlabelled map down before the dozy students.

Sora yawned and stretched as he turned to Riku who had a mocking look ready for the boy who had nodded off. Sora smiled sheepishly, but his mask of embarrassment was shattered by an even greater yawn. Riku rolled his eyes and shook his head, trying to ignore the stickiness of his hair clinging to his face. Sora crinkled his nose and fanned himself with his hand, mouthing the words 'so hot' and 'tired'.

"Why don't we have a reminder of the lay of the land, so to speak," Diz said as he secured the map and retrieved a pointing stick from the corner of the room.

Riku spied Sora playing with his pencil, twirling it, bouncing the nub of eraser off the edge of his desk, really just keeping some part of himself active so his brain couldn't slip off again. Riku tried concentrating on Diz instead of Sora, which was proving to be difficult since Diz was moving so little and talking too much in his slow and intellectual way. It was like nursery rhymes for geniuses, while Sora's subtle movements in the corner of his eye was like a single hair of his bangs weaving before his eye. It was completely unimportant yet the center of attention because it was moving and so close to him. The pencil became slightly more important when it bounced hard of its nub, rebounded off of Riku's shoulder and rolled to his feet. Sora bobbed his head down to reach just as Riku did and suddenly both were wide awake with the _clunk_ of their dull heads colliding.

Sora groaned, while Riku pushed him away and said, "I've got it," as he retrieved the pencil.

"Very well then, what is the answer, Riku?" Diz asked.

"The...answer?" Riku asked, staring up at Diz with confused eyes and accidently dropping the pencil again. He vaguely acknowledged Sora falling out of his chair to nab the pencil before it rolled too far away. Sora's chair was shot backwards and ended up banging against Pence's desk, causing the boy's head to pop up.

"Yes, you said you've 'got it'," Diz asked with an amused smile.

Truth be told, Diz wasn't particularly upset by any of the class' antics. It was relentlessly hot and despite all his years of study, intellect and teaching, there was never a good solution for tackling Mother Nature's temper, be it heat wave or hail storm. Riku was also his prize student so his picking on the boy was one of the downsides to being well liked by his teacher. It provided a heightened amount of respect for Riku, as well as dancelike sort of challenge where he had to try his best to follow his teacher as timorously as possible while being prepared for the next step or twist. Riku wouldn't have it any other way.

Except for now as he sat dopey, sweaty and completely out of the loop from any important goings on in the classroom.

"The map," Pence yawned from the back corner, putting a hand over his mouth and almost obscuring the words to nonsense.

Those around Pence twisted in their seats to either stare in amazement at the boy who had been sleeping or they stared because they were tired and everyone else seemed to be staring at him. Sora sat up like a gopher, staring back at Pence with the most expressive amount of surprise.

Pence briefly acknowledged everybody's stares with an uncertain look of his own, staring the most at Sora and laughing a little, before turning to Riku and stage whispering, "He wants to know the names of the surrounding cities. The founding ones."

With a subtle nod of thanks, Riku lifted his gaze to the strip of land along a bay that Diz was pointing to and replied with only the slightest of hesitation as his brain reconnected to his mouth.

"That land, along the bay, is Port Aqua. It's one of the three founding cities. And the other two are Terra, the moor area of the map," Riku said pointing to a large expanse of open land.

The next he wasn't too sure about, and with Diz smiling and moving the pointer to another large area of the map, Riku really had to dig past the summer memories that covered his knowledge from last year. The third was hard to remember because...

Riku felt confidence unfurl in his chest as he shook his head at the area of the map Diz was pointing to before nodding to a tall hill at the heart of the map.

"The third founding city is hard to remember because it wasn't an actual city. Citadel Ven helped in the old wars to secure the land, though it really is just a fortress. After its fall it was vacated then taken over by nomads," Riku finished, allowing the remaining air he had to slip out in a relieved and satisfied sigh as he slumped in his chair.

Sora and Roxas shared mutual impressed looks while Olette smiled as she laid her head on the desk and Hayner and Pence just wilted in the heat. Seeing as Pence had helped him out, Riku would debate in favour that the boy was just drooping in the heat and not actually sleeping.

"Correct, Riku," Diz nodded and pointed to each spot on the map Riku had mentioned before turning to address the class. "Because of these three cities it is that we can exist here and now. In this term we will see where this history leads us. For example, Sora, it leads us...?"

"Uh, to the, uh...here and now?" Sora said uncertainly, his answer coming from his lips with all the finesse of a rusty hinge.

Diz laughed and Sora slumped onto his elbows, puffing out dry air onto his desk.

"You are not wrong, but I was hoping for a more specific answer," Diz said while giving Sora an amused look before surveying the class and nodding to Pence, who seemed to be among the living again.

"The founding cities founded Twilight Town," Pence said as he lowered his hand and indulged himself in a great yawn for the approving nod Diz gave him.

"Oh!" Sora said raising his head and twisting in his seat to stare at Pence. The students followed Sora's movements, turning heads to look from Pence to Diz as Sora spoke. "Oh yeah! Because of the original three cities, other smaller towns were created when people started branching out. Like Twilight Town or, or Hallow Bastion."

Diz had been smiling up until Sora mentioned the western town, Hallow Bastion. His face fell, turning his toothy grin to a bared teeth grimace. While Sora and Roxas high-fived over Sora's accomplishment and the other members of the class chuckled wearily, Diz tried to find words that would allow him to be professional by hiding his disdain, but still ring true with his conscious.

While Diz faltered, the door to the classroom opened slowly. The room was so stuffy that the fragile breeze that ushered in an equally fragile looking girl along with Kairi, immediately made heads turn to their saviours. The gentle looking girl's eyes widened and, though she was already three shades paler than was healthy, she was still able to blanche at the handful of students staring at her. Shyly she attempted a smile and waggled her fingers in a feeble attempt at a wave. Kairi smiled encouragingly and nodded in approval as she brushed elbows with the other girl and led her to the front of the class. The blonde, pale girl gave up on trying to smile and seemed to be concentrating more on keeping lips in a straight line as if holding back vomit.

"Hey, everyone!" Kairi said, her warm tone only a couple degrees cooler than the boiling room. She waved to the class while the other girl stood with her hands behind her back. Some of the students waved back to Kairi, Sora and Roxas creating the most body heat by waving back vigorously while others just blinked recognition.

Kairi turned around to face Diz and bow her head slightly as she apologized for being late.

"Riku made me aware of your reason for tardiness so you have nothing to be forgiven for," Diz said with a nod to Kairi. His gaze flickered to the new girl as he said, "And thanks to Riku and Kairi's advanced notice, I was able to be slightly prepared for the arrival of...?"

Kairi and the rest of the class turned to stare at the girl. Riku noticed her knees buckle slightly and he swore he heard her groan as she stepped forward to stand beside Kairi rather than behind her.

"Naminé," she said meekly. She patted her neck and cleared her throat as she said a little stronger and with a forced smile, "My name is Naminé."

Kairi bumped elbows with the girl and gave her a thumb up as the rest of the class welcomed her a little more enthusiastically than they had in participation of Diz's lecture. Kairi, noticing the blush on Naminé's cheeks as she stared down at her shaking knees, decided to take the reins of the introduction.

"Naminé is new to the school and the town. She moved her over the summer with her parents," Kairi informed the class. With a smile and an excited tremor to her voice she added, "She came all the way from Hallow Bastion. Isn't that cool?"

Sora, Pence, and Olette wowed and awed at Naminé's origins while Hayner nodded with a decisive 'cool' and Riku smiled and nodded. Diz, on the other hand, closed his eyes and willed that his professionalism would prevail.

Diz cleared his throat and said levelly, "Why don't you tell us a little about yourself, Naminé?"

Naminé turned startled eyes on Diz and shyly brushed a strand of fine blonde hair from her forehead. Kairi smiled and took a step to the side to provide the other girl with more room.

"Okay, well, I was born in Hallow Bastion and my parents decided to move to Twilight Town because there were better business prospects, and, um..."

"You say you moved her because of 'better business prospects'? How so do you mean?" Diz asked in the tone he reserved for grilling students on the minute facts of whatever lesson they happened to be learning.

Naminé flushed as though she actually was being roasted. Half the class could sympathize with her considering the heat of the room, but none could understand the stress of being stared at by a dozen new faces.

"Well, I suppose it's the clients..." Naminé began nervously with her gaze desperately willing her shoelaces to give her answers.

"I find this odd because Hallow Bastion has a higher population as well as a typically higher cost for produce and services," Diz continued with little regard for Naminé's gentle 'oh's and small nods at his deduction.

Riku felt antsy as soon as the questioning had begun, like there was something wriggling in his lower gut. By the fidgeting of Naminé at the front of the class, he wondered if she suffered the same only tenfold. Riku heard Roxas murmur something to which Olette seemed to agree with. Hayner replied with a slightly louder and sarcastic, "Yeah, I guess we don't have to initiate her after this awkward as hell grilling."

"What line of work do your parents deal in?" Diz continued after cramming a day's worth of information on the economy of Hallow Bastion into her head.

"T-they are apothecaries," Naminé replied, her cheeks blazing from the agitation of Diz's winding questions. She wound her hair so tightly with her fingers that Kairi expected curls and waves to be let loose when her fingers stopped.

Riku looked over to Sora who had actually been staring at him for the past minute, but even with the amount of time it took for Riku to clue in, Sora was still unable to form a proper question. His jaw worked soundlessly while he pointed to Naminé and Diz with a thoroughly confused expression. Riku understood but could do little more than shrug. Sora shook his head, his face saying 'well, that's not good enough' and he raised his hand. It was probably unneeded but when Sora wasn't acknowledged immediately he pushed his chair back and stood with his hand raised. Riku, being the closest to the epicentre that was Sora, looked around at the heads of his classmates staring at Sora with the fixation of fish staring at their reflections.

"Sora?" Diz asked, staring at the boy with mild surprise.

"I have a question," Sora said, extending his hand a little higher to accentuate the fact.

"I presumed as much," Diz said drily and nodded to Sora, "What is your question?"

Sora let his hand drop and turned to face Naminé. He wasn't sure if she was holding back tears or laughter as she gawked at Sora.

"I just wanted to know if Naminé likes ice cream."

There was a subtle wave of giggles behind Sora and Naminé seemed lost as to how she should feel. She danced on the spot for a moment, looking from Diz who just seemed flabbergasted, to Sora who stood seemingly serious in the sea of laughing students.

"I-I do like ice cream," she said at last.

People jumped in surprise when Roxas rocketed up from his seat, his hand also in the air. He didn't wait for Diz's permission to speak.

"Hey, Naminé! Do you like playing ball?"

"I'm not really sure," she responded, peeking around Sora to catch a glimpse of Roxas.

"Well, it's kind of hot for playing, anyway. What about swimming? The beach is only a train ride away."

"I do like going to the beach," she said as her fingers stopped winding her hair and a small, genuine smile coming on to her lips.

"And you likes sketching, right?" Kairi chimed in as she put a hand on Naminé's shoulder.

"Yes, and gardening so I have something beautiful to draw," she replied, the blush fading from her cheeks and her spine becoming straighter.

"We garden!" Roxas chimed in, clapping his brother on the back.

"We _farm_," Sora admonished and turned to face his brother with his hands mockingly on his hips.

"So? What's the difference?"

"Gardening sounds girly."

"Ha, yeah. You would know, mom."

"What? No! Riku's mom."

Diz cleared his throat as he stepped forward, silencing Sora and Roxas in their bickering as well as cause the rest of the class to lose the amused gleam to their eyes.

"Considering the type of conversation brought on by the temperature and the excitement," Diz let his eyes flicker to Naminé briefly, "of the addition of a new student, we will adjourn for today. Have a good afternoon."

Diz moved behind his desk so that the wave of students heading for the door didn't knock him about. Kairi side stepped closer to Naminé and whispered something in her ear as Sora and Roxas bounded up to her. Hayner, Pence, and Olette weren't far behind and Riku waited for the others to pass before he joined the circle around Naminé. There was an advantage to being tall, besides being able to touch the ceiling or reach the top of the blackboard. Riku peered over Hayner's shoulder to stare at Naminé.

Naminé shook her head and turned to Kairi.

"I'm sorry, Kairi, but I don't think I'll be able to remember all the names of your friends right now."

"It's okay," Hayner said, uncrossing his arms to gesture with his thumb at the surrounding people, "So long as you remember them when you're _our_ friend. I'll refresh your memory on mine, I'm Hayner."

"I'm Pence," Pence yawned and blushed as he waved to her.

"Olette," Olette laughed and waved.

"And those two are Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb," Hayner said while pointing over his shoulder to Sora and Roxas.

"You wanna go, Hayner?" Roxas teased and dropped into a crouch with a mock grimace on his face. Hayner copied Roxas' position as he jeered, "You might not want to. Axel and I sparred a lot over the summer."

Hayner straightened up with a disgusted frown pulling down his face and his features were scrunched at the nose.

"I really didn't want to know that, Rox," Hayner said stiffly as he looked away.

While Hayner and Roxas had their spat over whatever Roxas did and didn't do with Axel, Riku slipped around Hayner and stood next to Sora who had moved closer to Naminé.

"Hi, Naminé, I'm Riku," he said to her.

Naminé looked impressed by his height. From ten feet away and sitting in a desk, Riku had looked like any other student. Now that he stood a foot and maybe more taller than Naminé and with a greater expanse of chest than Hayner and Roxas combined, she couldn't help but feel a little shy around him more than the others. The sincere look in his eyes calmed her nerves though. Riku wasn't like those boys.

"Hello, Riku," she replied sweetly.

"Sora, why don't you see if your brother wants to stop picking fights in front of the professor and come for ice cream with us," Riku said, sharing a look with Sora and staring over at Roxas whose face was red with the heat and actual anger.

"Are you going to treat us all?" Sora asked, pressing his body close to Riku with a smile on his lips.

"Sure," Riku said, taking the bait and pecking Sora on the lips. He pulled away smirking as he said not an inch from Sora's face, "Except for you, of course. Mommy never treats daddy."

Riku spun Sora around and prodded him in the direction of his tempered brother.

Sora turned around and said with emphatic motions of his hands, "You're seriously not still peeved about that, are you?"

Riku just smirked and shrugged.

"Even after Roxas – you're joking, right?"

Riku shrugged again and motioned for Sora to turn around and confront his brother. After he witnessed Sora plant himself between Hayner and Roxas' verbal war, he turned to Kairi and Naminé who were having their own private conversation.

"Naminé," Riku said, drawing both girls' attention. He nodded to Kairi too as he said, "And Kairi too, why don't you come out with us? When the others' mouths are stuffed it's a lot easier to get to know them."

Kairi crossed her arms and moved her weight onto one leg as she gave him a canny grin. Naminé laughed politely and nodded happily.

"Naminé, I'll give you a tip to help you remember Riku's name," Kairi said, as Riku walked over to Sora and Roxas who were goofing off on the back black boards now, playing a dirty version of hangman. Riku was still in ear shot, but Kairi spoke louder just to make sure he heard. "Riku has the same number of letters and the same starting letter as the word 'rude'."

Riku glanced briefly over his shoulder, the corner of a smirk able to be seen.

"He'll respond to either word you memorize, too," Kairi laughed.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> I do like leaving these notes so that you wonderful readers know that there is a person writing these stories (of course you know that) and it's not like reading a story in a magazine or a book in a library. I will answer questions and talk to you about what's going on or about updates. Also, if you catch something like grammatical errors that seem more than just a slip of the finger, then I can fix them early on if you tell me. I'm pretty good about updating, however, school is in again. As for a note on this chapter: I restarted this story at least three times and from different points. I wasn't sure if I should just jump into action or explain the characters' backgrounds. I like character development so I decided to start before any major drama happened and, what d'ya know, I ended up adding even more to what I thought would be a quick story.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary: **Riku notices some odd goings-on in his hometown and there have been rumours that a war is on the rise. The lovers struggle to find footing for their relationship during times of secrecy, fighting and loss. Many people made and make mistakes that have and will leave wounds that may become infected and refuse to heal, or ones that will scar over with the help of a friendly hand.

**Themes:** There is some romance between Sora and Riku as well as some mention of Axel/Roxas. Friendship in times when it is needed for strength. Adventure in the discovery of who really is the hero of the story. Angst for young men failing to see the light peeking through their dark actions. Hurt/comfort in the loss of lovers, brothers, beauty and pride. And humour, sometimes dark, for a break in all that drama.

**Inspirations:** 30 Seconds to Mars' CD, This is War, was the album running through my head when I wrote this part. Also, my best friend who pestered me about what was happening to the Twilight Town characters during my writing of _Hero_ was the main prompt for _This is War_. Thanks to my sister for being the first to read this.

**Author's Note: "**For this there is no excuse and the punishment ought to be maximum. Miss Tea'nThoughts, how do you plead for not putting line breaks in the first chapter of _This is War_?"

"Oh, guilty, Your Honour. Guilty!" she wails and bangs on her laptop's key - bdfkjvkg3r438oi5.

So, I did forget to put breaks in and for that I am sorry. It's frustrating to read and this isn't the first time I've done this, but I thought I had kicked the habit. Sorry x10. However, my inner perfectionist (who doesn't usually get his way since I love mistakes as much as I love to breathe) says sorry isn't good enough. I'm releasing this chapter now as I run out the door (who doesn't run out the door when promised cake at a neighbour's house?) instead of, erm, whenever I was going to release it. Hopefully the first chapter is fixed now too.

* * *

><p><strong>Smoke on the Wind<strong>

It turned out that Roxas had plans to meet Axel afterschool, so just Sora, Riku, Kairi and Naminé wound their way to the ice cream parlour, the sun never letting up until they were in the store. Naminé was hesitant to allow Riku to actually pay for her ice cream, saying that she could pay for her own and it would seem rude not to. Riku assured her that it was no big deal. He lived on his own and had a steady paying job.

Naminé blinked and allowed her ice cream to trickle down her hand and spiral off her cone.

"You live on your own and work? Aren't you a little young for that?" she asked.

Riku shrugged and replied casually, "I don't have much of a choice. I never knew my parents and I need a job to live."

Naminé looked down at her lap and noticed the ice cream dripping sadly from her hand. She picked up a napkin and dabbed away the raspberry stream.

"I'm sorry, Riku," she said.

"Thanks, Naminé, but you don't really need to. It's not like you abandoned me," Riku replied more or less offhandedly. He didn't mean to sound callous but he grated more than just Naminé's ears with his reply. He had a habit of ignoring how sharp the truth could be, even with dull words.

Kairi's eyes grew dull and she busied herself with eating her ice cream.

"Riku..." Sora reproached but underneath the table Sora's hand found Riku's and held on tight.

"Right. Sorry, Naminé, I didn't mean to sound like a jerk. All I mean to get across is that I don't need sympathy. I have everything I need in this town and I don't think it's going to disappear any time soon," Riku said, dragging his eyes from the girls' warm smiles to stare out the window. The sun winked in the window, just over the rooftops, turning the town warm orange and tangerine colours. It was still hot out, but with the setting sun more people had crawled out of their homes for an evening walk. There was a simple beauty to small town where the most defensive barricades were white picket fences.

Sora's shove nearly sent Riku off his chair. Ironically, if he hadn't been holding Sora's hand he wouldn't have had anything to grip to and pull himself up by.

"Sora, what the hell are you doing?" Riku asked as he regained his balance. He let go of Sora's hand in a repulsed sort of way, shaking him off like a bug that had landed on him.

"Who's this other guy who gives you everything you need in town?" Sora asked teasingly, jabbing Riku in the ribs with his elbow.

Riku glowered for a moment, more out of confusion than annoyance now that he wasn't balancing precariously on the edge of his chair. Then he was reminded that Sora only went to school in Twilight Town, he didn't actually live there. Riku rolled his eyes at Sora's ribbing and slipped his arm around Sora's neck, pulling the boy towards him against his will.

"I'm sorry, Sora. You're the only little dork I can handle right now. Why don't you sit closer if you think – well that's one way to cool down," Riku laughed and pushed his boyfriend away as the ice cream that spilt from Sora's cone melted in Sora's lap.

"Oh man...and I really wanted to eat that," Sora sighed while looking down at his pants.

Both Naminé and Kairi tried to keep their laughter contained behind the hands plastered to their mouths, but once Riku saw them trying to keep quiet they let it all out. Sora looked up at the table laughing mirthlessly at him, Riku included.

"Oh, ha, ha," Sora said dryly. He got his smirking revenge when he nabbed Riku's hand under the table again, and plopped it down on the vanilla ice cream now leaking into his pants.

* * *

><p>Riku let out a long, deep breath that lifted Sora's bangs as Riku lay limply over the smaller boy's body. Sora's warm breath on his throat only made him feel stickier and hotter than he already was. That thought made him sigh amusedly as he remembered a couple weeks ago when he, Sora, and the girls had gone out for ice cream. That thought really had no place to be in Riku and Sora's shared bed.<p>

"Oh, great. You laughing is exactly what I want to hear after we have sex," Sora said while his own scathing laughter made Riku tremble on his chest.

"What? You wanted me to laugh during? Or maybe even before?" Riku asked.

"Riku, just shut up now," Sora said. Tired of Riku's jibes, Sora made it nearly impossible for him to speak by holding Riku's head to his chest by crossing his arms over his neck. He could feel Riku grinning against his bare chest and all Sora could do was shake his head, an amused smile on his own face.

Riku calmed himself by tracing meaningless patterns on Sora's biceps and brushing the imaginary symbols off with him thumb. They lay, blanketed from the waist down in Riku's bed and with the back window cracked open to let in the late summer breeze. It was odd to have his exposed back feel like the sweat was forming frost while his chest burned on Sora's skin. Then Sora slid his hands from Riku's hair and joined them on his shoulder blades. His hands were warmer then the summery air had been that day and relaxed Riku's shoulders even more so with their gentle kneading.

Riku's mind started wandering with Sora's lulling touch. Tomorrow he had to stop by work in the morning and then meet with Sora and Roxas to head to school. Maybe Naminé would finally get a desk tomorrow. The poor girl had been sharing Kairi's desk and for a whole day, when the class was to write a test, she had sat front and center at Diz's desk. To anyone else in the class this would have been a treat, but to Newbie Naminé it was confidence murder. Diz was either unmindful to her feelings or just didn't notice how upset it made her. Riku had a lot of respect for his professor, Diz was a frightfully intelligent man and seemed to be quite apt at understanding people, however, with the calling on Naminé for the toughest questions, ignoring her when she amounted the courage to tentatively raise her hand and pushing all the minute duties of maintaining the classroom on to her, Riku firmly believed that Diz had a great dislike for her. Sora and Roxas didn't see it that way, they couldn't wrap their heads around the idea that a professor of all people would seek to destroy one of his student's self esteem. Yet both boys didn't mind drawing attention to themselves when Naminé seemed the most distressed.

Sora groaned and Riku opened his eyes. Judging by Sora's blurry eyes and wide mouthed yawn, both of them had dozed off.

When Sora continued to squirm beneath him, Riku mumbled from the corner of his mouth, "You're leaving me, aren't you?"

"Sorry, but tomorrow's school," Sora said sleepily. He really shouldn't have let Riku lie on him. The other's body heat only made him dozy and the weight was somehow comforting.

"You mean the building a couple blocks away?" Riku snorted. He pulled himself onto his elbows and looked down at the boy beneath him with disapproval. Sora stared back up at him languidly as his arms stretched above his head. Riku rolled off Sora as he said to the ceiling, "You're a horrible liar, Sora...but a good brother."

"Yeah, well, I just don't like him waking up alone and in an empty house," Sora said, groaning as he sat up and looked around for his clothes before slipping from beneath the sheets to stand on sleep clumsy feet. Sora hopped about on one leg, trying to snatch the other one in the other leg of his jeans, until he ended up falling back onto the bed. He decided to just get dressed lying down after that.

Smirking as Sora fell onto his bed, Riku stared back up at the ceiling and crossed his arms behind his head as he said knowingly, "Yeah, I can understand that."

Sora, more or less dressed, craned his neck backwards to try and get a glimpse of Riku, but it was hard to tell what the other was thinking when looking upside down. Sora flipped onto his belly and surveyed his boyfriend for a moment. He didn't exactly look sad, but he wore a serious expression.

In a soft tone, Sora began asking, "Riku...why don't you-" but he was cut across by Riku's stern voice.

"No. I can't move in with you. My job is in town and I wouldn't be able to work the hours I do if I lived any farther away."

"But are you okay with it? Are you happy by yourself here?" Sora asked, fiddling with a loose thread of the blanket. A big part of him really wanted Riku to move in with him, no matter who else depended on him, but the rational part of his mind knew life just didn't work itself out neatly like that.

"Not always," Riku said with a deep breath in as he sunk further into the mattress. He could see cracks in his ceiling. He really ought to get them fixed.

"I can't always be happy or okay, and I'll admit that if I could I would live with you or just get out of here for a while."

"You...aren't happy in Twilight Town?" Sora asked uncertainly. He thought everything Riku did suggested he loved the place he lived. From the odd hours Riku worked to the way he treated the people at school and on the way to, Sora thought Riku loved Twilight Town.

"Twilight Town is my home and the only place I know," Riku said with warmth to his voice. He puffed out a weary sigh and continued in a duller tone, "But it is the _only_ place I know."

Riku thought about some of the things he hadn't been able to do and of the things others could and had done. Unlike Olette he couldn't afford the time or money to own a summer home or unlike Hayner he couldn't travel to other towns to watch the illicit, underground Struggle matches. He couldn't even keep a garden like Naminé. He had this town, a place he did love, but would really like to get away from. He felt kind of like a fledging bird, watching the sun casts its rays on new grounds from his nest. He didn't even try to fly away because too much depended on him staying put, keeping others warm and safe. He didn't hate this thought, but he loved the thought of seeing exactly what the sun saw on the other horizons it touched.

Summer warmed skin touched his face and ran fingers along his jaw. Sora was looking down at him with slightly sad eyes that turned brighter the longer they held each other's gaze. Sora kept running his fingers back and forth along Riku's jaw until Riku's eye radiated the same hope Sora's did.

He took Riku's face in his hands and pulled him up into the kiss, making it last like a slow steady trickle of something very sweet and very hot. Riku nudged Sora's head backwards with his lips so he could sit up in bed, then he put a hand to Sora's shirt and gently pushed him back. It made Riku smile how when he broke the kiss first Sora's eyes would flutter a couple times before opening, as if he was awaking.

He laughed as he threw the covers aside and got to his feet. Sora's eyes would be open now that his boyfriend was striding naked around the room.

As Riku slipped on his underwear and pants, he said over his shoulder to Sora, "I'll walk to the edge of town with you."

"Don't think I can handle the mean streets of Twilight Town?" Sora asked cattily.

Sora folded his arms and shook his head as Riku turned around to slowly do up his fly. It was frustrating having Riku as a boyfriend sometimes. Sora knew Riku was good looking and he was all for Riku having self-confidence in the way he looked. The frustration came from Riku knowing that Sora loved Riku's body. Once Sora and Riku had reached adolescence 'tease' had taken on another meaning, though Riku still enjoyed calling Sora names.

Riku did up the button on his worn pair of jeans and paused to throw a casual glance at Sora before shrugging his arms into his sleeves and saying offhandedly, "Maybe I just don't want to be alone yet."

Then there was lines like that that made guilt solidify in his heart for thoughts about Riku's taunting nature.

* * *

><p>Riku said goodbye to Sora at the edge of town, by the crab apple tree that they would meet at tomorrow morning. Twilight Town was quiet even at the height of the sun, but somehow kissing Sora under the stars in an expanse of field with only a small grove of stunted apple trees made them feel closer together and farther from everyone. The solitary walk home through the moonlit streets made Riku feel all the more singular. There was something about walking beneath the moon alone that made him feel all the more by himself.<p>

Next weekend could be something similar to this night's events, but Sora didn't like spending too much time away from Roxas. Though Riku suspected Roxas could find ways to amuse himself and whoever happened into his room, he also knew Roxas liked having Sora there. It was the reason why Riku would never ask Sora to leave the farm and join him in Twilight Town. The brothers weren't ready to leave each other and Riku wouldn't want them to. Leaves didn't fall from the tree until the right season so there was no way Riku could separate them when it was up to their natures.

The streets were so quiet in town and most of the lights were out despite it being relatively early. The moon wasn't even halfway across the sky yet. Riku didn't bother locking the door to his three room house, but something made him pause with his hand on the doorknob. He felt like someone was watching. Maybe it was the flap of laundry on his neighbour's line that he mistook for the flap of a coat, or the wail of a stray cat for someone's call in the night or the rustling of leaves of trees on the neighbours' lawn for...something.

Riku stepped back out into the street and looked up and down the way. Actually it kind of sounded like water, rushing water. No...it sounded like...

Riku turned around to face his house. Over the low roof he could see an orange tinge to the sky, like the sun was creeping up with an angry intensity and snarling as it ate up the black of the sky. Someone screamed and the sound made Riku's blood run cold. There was a fire and it was burning at the heart of the town where he worked.

Riku bolted, gravel and grass being ripped from the earth as he tore down the street. He ran across people's lawns as they came out on their porches looking for the source of the screaming. He took a running leap and threw himself over a tall fence, landing painfully on his knees but he got up again and ran. He heard terrified questions being asked from blurs in the dark.

_What's happening?_

_Who's screaming?_

_Is that a fire?_

_Is it the new store, the ice cream parlour or-?_

Riku slid onto the road, nearly falling to his knees with the swift stop before he shot to the left, to where two buildings blazed like awful, snarling candles, the flames devouring the wax far too quickly.

Riku's eyes were already searching the crowd of people, women, men...children. There was a woman in a bright pink nightgown surrounded by children.

"Aerith!" Riku yelled causing not only the woman in the nightgown to turn, but several other heads to turn with wide frightened eyes, faces glowing eerily in the flames. Riku reached Aerith quickly and while looking down at the children as he asked, "Is everyone-"

"Everyone got out safely. I've done a head check twice," she said calmly though her eyes looked worried and her shoulders slumped with exhaustion. Multiple children clung to the skirt of her nightgown as she held a swathed baby in her arms.

Riku nodded to Aerith after he had done his own quick head count and then he warily looked to the fire. The firefighters were pouring water and sand on the blazing buildings and slowly the flames grew smaller and the heat lessened on Riku's face. The one building, a store that had opened maybe a day ago, was nothing more than ashes held together by the will of the storeowners and their family as they sagged in the glow of its cinders. The fire had most likely originated from that building and spread to the building beside it. The lesser burnt building, where Riku worked, was smouldering slightly and apart from the one wall it was completely unharmed.

"We were lucky," Aerith said from Riku's side as they both stared at the smoking hole. She sighed tiredly as she said, "We can heal from this, we just need somewhere to heal."

Riku nodded and craned his head, looking for their lifeline in the sea of people. His nerves frayed more when he couldn't find a face with a scar on a tall body. Where was he? It was ironic that had Leon been there, calmly assessing the building and searching the teary faces of a handful of children, Riku could have come up with a dozen solutions and maybe suggest them to Aerith and Leon. Now a hundred situations, many of them having nothing to do with the one at hand, flooded his mind. Any helpful ideas flashed by like jetsam in the deluge and out of his mind.

Riku looked back to Aerith, his throat feeling dry and it had nothing to do with the smoke of the fire. Aerith was bouncing the baby while trying to stop a little girl at her feet from crying. The little girl's tears were proving to be infectious what with the youngest of children letting go of Aerith to rub their eyes.

They needed somewhere to go. Aerith's home was the place with a hole in the wall currently smoking itself out. Leon still was nowhere to be seen. Fine, Riku could take his brothers and sisters to his house. It wasn't far but the little girl was slowly crying herself to sleep. Riku began looking around again as he bent to pick his little sister off the ground. It was hard to look around with her tiny arms holding onto his neck, but he spotted a familiar face in the crowd and headed for it.

"Xion!" Riku called, waving to her as she tore her eyes from the blackened apothecary.

She navigated her way through the crowd that had begun to dissipate until she stood before him, her large, worried eyes looking up at him.

"Riku...this is horrible," she said, her voice cracking as her eyes flickered briefly to the ruins before concentrating on Riku's solemn expression. Riku, panicked as he was, slowly shook his head and nodded to the little girl in his arms. Xion nodded, cleared her throat and said with determination, "We need to fix this. What's the plan, Riku?"

"We need beds and food for the morning. Have you seen Leon?"

Xion shook her head dismally but managed to keep her lip from quivering. Riku nodded, a stoic expression setting his lips in a straight line while he tried to stop his anxieties from creeping from his belly to his throat. He had been one of the children crowding the hem of Aerith's skirt once, then he learned to stand on his own and use his hands to help rather than hold tight, but he'd never been the one to point where the children and caregivers should go. He would honestly rather have been dealing with the flames and let Leon direct the upturned lives of children who had already lost a great deal.

Riku looked over at Aerith who was moving slowly away with her latched leeches of children to the side of the street and out of the way of the other citizens.

Riku pointed Xion in Aerith's direction and said, "Help Aerith take the kids to my place. I'll see if I can salvage any blankets or cots from the orphanage. My door's unlocked, okay? Oh and take Genie please."

Xion reached out for the girl gripping Riku's neck. It took them a moment to unwrap her arms and a great deal of verbal coaxing for her to settle again in Xion's arms. Even as Xion wordlessly went to deliver the message to Aerith the little girl called Riku's name over Xion's shoulder, her one hand extended and new tears reddening her eyes. Riku could do little more than wave sheepishly to Genie while onlookers gave Riku and the wailing girl confused looks. He bowed his head and moved against the trickling flow of the staring people.

Riku was worried that the firefighters might stop him from entering the building, but another unexpected person halted him. The family that owned the shop next to the orphanage was beginning to overcome their shock and slowly come to life again. Behind the family in the shadow of a tree stood a man clad in red pyjamas. Riku wasn't all that shocked to recognize the man as Professor Diz, more so that he had never seen his professor in pyjamas.

Diz turned around with a grave and, Riku was a little more surprised to recognize, furious light to his eyes. Diz nodded to Riku as he drew nearer to the Professor.

"You work at the orphanage, don't you?" Diz asked Riku in his serious, deep tone.

"Yeah," Riku said, the tiredness that fear left in his gut making him sound groggy.

"Then I will understand if you do not make it to class tomorrow," Diz said as he began to turn away from the grieving family and the black shell of the shop. In a lighter tone Diz said as he passed by Riku, "I'll send Sora to you with Kairi's notes. No doubt her notes are more complete though Sora will probably seek you out faster."

"Thanks," Riku said a little stiffly as he recognized the girl who was slowly detaching herself from her parents at the steps of the burnt store. Riku changed his course to come up behind the girl and say her name gently. "Naminé, are you alright?"

At the sound of his voice, Naminé's shoulders bunched around her neck as she slowly turned around. Her white nightgown was stained grey in the best of places and singed at the hems. Ashes flecked her hair and the soot made the skin around her face look unhealthy. Riku looked down and saw that her feet were bare and covered in red marks.

"Naminé...your feet look-"

"It's...okay, Riku," she said in a voice parched by fire. Her lips quirked into a tentative smile while her fingers gently pulled at her hair. "We weren't inside, but we tried to save some of the herbs and supplies. You know, I think we may...need some medicine soon."

"This is your family's shop?" Riku asked. He cringed a little when a beam cracked and fell in a broken pile on the steps. The store was no more and the stock was likely even less than that. Riku noted a small bag clutched in Naminé's hand, but no other salvaged parcels.

Naminé noticed Riku eyeing the bag. She lifted it limply and donned a tired, albeit hopeful smile.

"We lost a lot but to be honest I don't think this," she said shaking the bag again, "is as effective as solving the ailments up here or here," she pointed to her head and chest.

Naminé turned her face away from Riku to look towards the store as she said solemnly, "The store can be rebuilt easily and new herbs can be grown. It's so much more difficult to mend memories and minds, but so much more rewarding too."

* * *

><p>Riku only got about four hours of sleep that night and not just because he suddenly had a dozen children sleeping in cots around his bed, or rather Aerith's bed at the moment. Riku could picture Sora laughing about Aerith being the first women to ever sleep in Riku's bed and that was just another aspect of the situation Riku would have to endure. He also had to bear Aerith catching the blush on his cheeks as he kicked the sheets he and Sora had shared under the bed and put new ones on. She had just finished putting the oldest children to sleep in the living room when she entered the bedroom to see Riku nimbly stepping between cots to tuck clean sheets around the edges of the mattress. She had thanked him and tried to keep a grateful smile on her lips, but it came across as knowing and Riku couldn't stop his cheeks from burning.<p>

Riku knew he was exhausted but his body was too full of excitement to sleep. Whatever chemicals that surged through his blood, doubled with his tiredness to make his fingers tremble and heart seem louder than it was. Especially when sitting on the grass outside his house on the quiet street his heart sounded like a fleshy hammer and anvil. The moon was getting close to setting when a tall figure came down the lane and stepped onto his lawn. Riku had been staring up at the sky, watching the stars quietly blink out as the blue lost its deep colour. He sat up when Leon was within a couple feet of him. Leon stopped at Riku's feet.

"How is everyone? Is anyone hurt?" he asked, his face all serious angles.

"No, Aerith got everyone out before the building even caught fire," Riku said with a craggy voice. He cleared his throat and said, "It was put out pretty quickly so there wasn't too much damage done."

"Good," Leon replied and looked away from Riku to the sky. "Is Aerith inside?"

"Yeah, she's asleep and since she dealt with the worst I think we should let her sleep."

"I can agree with that. And what about tomorrow? Does the morning staff know everyone is here?"

"I am the morning staff," Riku yawned. After another good yawn he continued, "And Xion knows we've moved our brothers and sisters here."

"And it was your idea to bring everyone to your house?" Leon asked as he looked back down at Riku with an unreadable expression.

Riku pushed his bangs back and fidgeted where he sat. He wasn't sure if he should have taken charge like that or if he had done the best he could. Something bothered him about the whole of last night's events. He felt like he was missing some information. It was like looking at a painting of the events; he could see what was going on but with no explanation from the person who had actually captured the events. Maybe that was why he felt so uncertain about his actions. That and Leon leering down at him with his stoic demeanour, waiting for a reply, was slightly nerve racking.

"Yeah, I thought it was best to get them in bed or at least find a safe place for the night. Sorry if I had you worried. Everyone is safe."

"You actually feel sorry?" Leon asked with a shake of his head. A small smile stretched the older brother's lips as Riku looked up at him uncertainly. Leon _hmm_ed and walked closer to Riku's house to lean on the wall as he said, "Maybe you are too young if you think saying sorry will make this situation any different. The fact is it doesn't."

"Too young?" Riku asked keeping a smooth surface to his face despite the ripple Leon's words had created in his confidence.

He was tired and not exactly sure what he had done other than take the reins in shaky hands and lead the troupe to a safe place. It wasn't like there was any danger other than the fire and that had been dealt with. Twilight Town barely caused a hiccup in the entire web of communities and kingdoms, and its occupants were just as docile.

Leon knelt and laid a hand briefly on Riku's shoulder.

"I know you have a life outside of the orphanage. One with Sora and Kairi," Leon said evenly. Riku could feel prideful warmth spreading from the other's touch as he spoke. "I know what it's like to feel that you might be confined to that place forever and that you'll never be able to go somewhere else but maybe, just for now, that is exactly how it should be. Maybe this is your place."

"Isn't...isn't it _your_ place to watch out for all of- for them?" Riku asked, trying not to squirm or tense when Leon clapped him on the shoulder. Leon wasn't his boss; that was Aerith. Yet he found Leon more unnerving, more threatening and therefore all the more reason for Riku to be in awe of him. Leon was the unofficial guardian over all the brothers and sisters that lived under the orphanage's roof. Even when Riku had been there as a child.

"I've got other things to worry about now and I'd feel a lot better if someone I could trust took my place," Leon said with a pointed look at Riku.

"Other things? Like what?"

Leon just chuckled and clapped him on the back again, harder this time and he made Riku double over his knees. He strode across the lawn saying over his shoulder, "Haven't you got enough on your plate now?"

Riku got to his feet to watch Leon's shadowy figure get smaller.

"Fine but don't just disappear! I'm not going to be the only one changing diapers," Riku called as Leon turned the corner, headed towards the main part of town. Riku would have to follow the same path Leon took in a couple hours. Even though Diz had exempted him from class he still felt he should go. He could deal with a little less sleep for the next couple days.

* * *

><p>"Riku..."<p>

"What?"

"Maybe you should go home. You look-"

"Really shitty."

"Hayner!"

"Ow, Olette. Don't fricken' pinch me. I'm exhausted but I'm not dreaming...no matter how much I wish I was," Hayner grumbled, massaging his arm as he lay his head back down on the desk. His eyes looked puffy with tiredness and his temper was even pricklier than usual.

Olette just shook her head, lips pursed in an annoyed frown. Her eyes were a little bloodshot as well and maybe her own temper was a little quicker to come with the exhausting excitement of last night. Even the people who hadn't been on site to see the flames had heard the commotion. Twilight Town was just that small; you yell to your neighbour to come over for dinner and the entire block would show up at your door. Or you light a single shop on fire and the whole town smells smoke.

Riku leaned back in his chair, a tired snarl drawing up his lips. He was in no mood to deal with Hayner's attitude. He was grateful to Olette for nipping Hayner's arm with her nails and he let her know with an amused smile too. Hayner just snorted his contempt and turned his head to face the window instead.

"What the hell is wrong with you guys?" Roxas asked, turning in his desk to look down at Hayner though he spoke to the entire classroom. Roxas shared a look with his brother who just shrugged. Riku hadn't been helpful that morning when they met him for their walk to school and Kairi wasn't there to translate Riku's tired grumbles and mysterious answers. Kairi was just making her way to her seat now, looking just as tired as everyone else.

Sora kept his eye on his boyfriend. Riku looked more than just tired, he looked worried and stressed. It wasn't like Riku was hunched over his desk and pulling out his hair, but the subtle looks at the clock and shifting in his seat gave him away, at least to Sora.

"Hey, Riku," Sora whispered, putting a hand over the other's that clumsily rolled a pencil around on his desk. Riku gave Sora a tired looked but didn't say anything. "You look really tired."

"Everyone is tired today," Riku replied with a roll of his shoulders.

"Yeah, I'm starting to get that," Sora said, ignoring Hayner's scathing sigh. "But you haven't said why."

Diz walked into the classroom and took a seat behind his desk. Riku nodded to their professor and said in a low tone, "Diz will explain."

"If everyone would settle down for today's lesson," Diz said as per usual, though it was unnecessary since most people's face were studying their desks at a close proximity. Sora and Roxas looked like gophers perched up and peering about the prairies.

It took Diz a moment to spot Sora waving his hand about.

Somewhat hesitantly Diz said, "Yes, Sora?"

"What's up with everyone?" Sora looked around him and spoke to the class as he turned in his desk, "Why are you all tired?"

"Why do you think, genius? None of us got sleep," Hayner replied in Diz's stead, his face still sagging on the desktop as he spoke.

"Don't be a jerk," Roxas said and prodded Hayner with his knee.

"Why did the whole classroom not get any sleep?" Sora asked Hayner.

Hayner dragged himself from his desk, ignored Sora, and sneered at Roxas, "You try sleeping when there are people running around screaming outside your window."

"People were screaming?" Sora asked emphatically, twisting so hard in his seat that Riku swore he heard his spine crack.

"Why are you so shocked? You're screaming now," Hayner spat back at Sora.

"Hey! He's not screaming," Roxas spat back at Hayner, leaning over his desk to get his face closer to the other boy's.

"I wish you all weren't," Pence moaned, clapping hands over his ears.

"Perhaps we could all take a moment to calm down?" Diz suggested, though it was as pointless as his greeting now that Hayner was irate and awake.

"Fine, Sora's not but you are," Hayner said, meeting Roxas halfway across his desk and holding the other's glare.

"What were people screaming about?" Sora asked Diz, but the professor had given up trying to restore order for the time being. He had been awake last night too, after all.

Riku sighed and put a hand on Sora's shoulder causing the boy to startle a bit and turn to his boyfriend.

"There was a fire," Riku began to explain, but Hayner and Roxas' argument was vying to be the central conversation.

"Roxas, you don't know shit."

"Language," Diz grated wearily as he took a seat behind his desk.

"Then enlighten me oh great shit guru."

"Roxas, language," Diz corrected, but with even less fervour.

"Oh ha ha. Well, while you and your brother were enjoying snuggle time at the country homestead there were maniacs running about the street lighting fires."

"Hey, leave my brother out of this. It's beginning to feel like a real fight," Roxas said, his face falling out of a sneer as he drew back.

"Well, I'm not in the best of moods," Hayner said, crossing his arms and kicking the legs of Sora's chair in front of him.

"What was lit on fire?" Sora asked, looking from Hayner to Riku.

Hayner turned from Roxas and replied to Sora.

"That new shop-"

"Apothecary," Pence chimed in.

"Whatever. It doesn't matter now that it's gone," Hayner said, brushing Pence off with a flick of his hand. "That and part of the orphanage."

Riku's shoulders sagged with the weight of the shock and dread in Sora's eyes. He had been planning to tell Sora, but later when he wasn't so tired and didn't have a house overflowing with children. Plus he didn't want to explain to Sora about Aerith sleeping in his bed. He felt awkward enough about that without Sora making a joke out of it. With a twinge of regret Riku thought selfishly that it really shouldn't be on Sora's worry list. Everyone made it out fine and Riku was coping well so far. Still, there was that regret when Sora opened his mouth and the question fell out.

"Why didn't you tell me this morning?"

"Because I was tired and still am," Riku replied lamely.

"But I could have helped you."

"You're a fifteen minute walk from the edge of town."

"But we could have gone to wherever the kids are and help them out today."

"Most of them have school and Aerith has Xion to help her with the youngest ones," Riku said as he leaned back in his seat with his eyes closed._ That should be that_, he thought.

"What about after school?"

Riku slumped in his desk but was saved from answering when Roxas suddenly got to his feet and stared wildly around the classroom. The people around Roxas' desk flinched with the unexpected screech of steel chair legs on a wooden floor. Diz looked vaguely surprised as he waited for Roxas to speak.

"The apothecary burnt down. Naminé's parents own it. Where's Naminé?" Roxas asked and immediately the class went still.

Heads raised and scanned the classroom as a steady murmur grew in the class. Riku looked to Diz, expecting the professor to reassure his students, but at the mention of Naminé he became disinterested. The reassurance came from Kairi.

"I wondered when you would all catch on," she yawned as she turned in her seat to face the class. She smiled sleepily and said, "Naminé's fine but obviously she won't be in class today. She'll be happy to hear you're all concerned for her."

"Hey, Professor," Roxas said as he settled back down in his desk and raised his hand. Diz nodded to him and Roxas lowered his hand. "Since we're all exhausted can we spend our lunch period visiting Naminé?"

Diz stared pensively at Roxas and _hmm_ed as he turned his eyes away from the eager looks on his students' faces.

"What good is a hive when all its workers have stopped their labouring? I don't think it's wise for you to do so," Diz finally said.

Though the class had been relatively silent, what with people dozing off or listening for news of their classmate, the room somehow became even more subdued.

"But it'd be our lunch break," Roxas said plaintively, his lips falling into a confused frown.

"A time needed for refuelling the mind not to be wasted on pointless visits," Diz said, getting to his feet and retrieving a piece of chalk to begin his lesson.

Roxas was about to interject when Diz turned his back, but Kairi said with her eyes cast to the ground, "It's probably for the best. She got the least amount of sleep out of all of us."

With Kairi's final say the class begrudgingly settled in their desks and either lay their heads down or stared at the chalk board wishing they could fall asleep. Except for one set of eyes that Riku felt trying their hardest to drill into the side of his head. Riku glanced at Sora and regretted doing so when he saw the scornful slant of his boyfriend's mouth and eyebrows.

A couple seconds later Sora slipped a scrap of paper over to him. Riku let out a slow breath that was hidden by a low, mocking catcall from Roxas and Hayner's corner of the class room. Riku was hesitant to read the words considering how Sora flipped his beloved brother off for even insinuating the note was of a romantic nature. He felt Sora's eyes go right back to digging into his head so he unwrinkled the paper and tried not to sag onto the ground as he read: _Don't keep secrets from me or I'll see how you like the feeling. Just us after class, please._

Riku coyly crumpled the paper and slipped it into his pants. The heated stare from Sora made his ears burn a little.

* * *

><p>"We'll catch up with you," Sora said, a smile on his face as he waved Kairi off. Roxas, Hayner, Pence and Olette weren't far off as they were waiting at the bottom of the stairs for Kairi to lead the way.<p>

"But we're actually going to visit Naminé. She's had all day to rest. I just said that to keep Roxas out of trouble," Kairi said with a frown on her face as she looked from Sora's smiling face to Riku's stoic one.

Sora grabbed Riku's hand and peeked around Kairi to see if the others were watching. Roxas and Olette were busying teasing Hayner while Pence lounged on the steps with his back to Kairi. Riku saw Sora's smile slip from his face and the hand he held stopped gripping his own and just sat dulling cradled in his.

"We'll catch up. This is something I have to talk to Riku about," Sora said flatly, his eyes flickering from the steps to Kairi's softening gaze.

Riku was surprised to see understanding in Kairi's eyes as she nodded and said quietly, "Alright, Sora. I'll see you both at Naminé's."

Kairi turned around and ran to rouse the group and head over to Naminé's. The sun was already starting to set despite summer not being far off, but with the breeze sweeping through the sleepy town the boys would agree that the fall was creeping in.

"You've talked to Kairi?" Riku asked diffidently, trying to keep the hand holding on to Sora from twitching.

"Yup and my brother of course," Sora said, trying his best to keep his voice level and making it come out flat and deeper than usual. Sora rolled his shoulders and tried to say offhandedly, "I tell him everything," but they both felt the barb of the words.

Riku scratched the back of his neck playing off the twitch of his hand as just a smaller movement of a greater motion.

"Should we sit?" Riku asked and nodded to the side of the school where the breeze wouldn't get them. Sora wordlessly agreed and led them to a spot along the building where the sun still shone.

The patch of summer-warm sun wasn't great in size so Riku let Sora have it. He was surprised to feel Sora's head rest on his shoulder. Sora took in a deep breath as if was preparing to dive and Riku felt the breath leave his boyfriend through his own spine.

"You're not...angry?" he asked Sora.

"Nope," Sora said and shook his head as if he was disappointed with himself. "You piss me off a lot but I really should learn to hold a grudge. It might come in handy someday."

"I...I think that might be why I'm with you," Riku said with a dry laugh, "I can hold a grudge."

"I know you can. Remember when you thought Axel was bullying my brother?" Sora said, looking over the bushes to watch the last school stragglers make their way home. "You hadn't even met him but because my brother was missing a good chunk of his hand and the only one around was Axel, you automatically hated him. You still do, a little."

"I don't _hate_ Axel-"

"But you don't trust him or like him," Sora interjected and this time Riku didn't argue. There was a little bit of light in his eyes Sora teased, "What was it? A month ago? Yeah, you thought Axel was beating the shit out of Roxas in my own house...in my brother's own room. What was it that they were actually doing, huh, Riku?"

"I thought you wanted to talk about us," Riku said, clearing his throat as he pulled at his shirt. He felt warm all of a sudden.

"I'm getting there, I'm just exacting a little revenge seeing as I can't hold a grudge. But actually I wanted to say some more on Axel and Roxas. We were both upset about Roxas getting hurt, what? Ten years ago? Anyway, we were both upset because we didn't know how it had happened or why. It had me worried for days. I swore his hand was going to fall off and it'd be partly my fault 'cause I should have done something. It didn't but I still should have done something," Sora chuckled his brother's name, "I still don't know how he got that scar."

"Uh, I don't think I quite get the moral," Riku said while trying not to laugh. Sora got too caught up in his own emotions sometimes.

"That we never knew how it happened!" Sora said enthusiastically and shook Riku's hand that held his own when he talked with his hands.

"So you're nosy?" Riku jibed.

"Your head's supposed to be on the chopping block here. Plus, you're nosier than me! No, Roxas can have secrets, anyone can. I think you would rather Roxas and Axel's alone time was still a secret."

"Can we not? Let's stay on topic."

"You took me off topic!"

"We're off topic _now_."

Sora _tch_ed and said with an amused smile, "You're just stalling before I come down on you so hard."

Riku let that one slide for the sake of their conversation. He didn't want to still be pressed against the school when the moon was up. He really wanted a good night's sleep tonight.

"As I was saying, anyone can have secrets, but if it's something that has you stressed or is dangerous then I need to know. You're kind of something important that can't be imitated by anyone else. That and sometimes misinformation can really make a mess of things."

"That's another crack about Axel and Roxas."

"Yeah, but the rest of that was serious."

"I know it was," Riku sunk lower on the wall so his head was resting at equal height with Sora's.

"So why didn't you tell me?" Sora asked while snaking an arm around Riku's waist.

"I didn't want to start off my day by saying 'hey, Sora. You know how we had some alone time last night? Well guess what, I now have a dozen kids living under my roof. No more alone time for a couple weeks.'"

"Your brothers and sisters are all living in your house?" Sora asked.

Sora pulled away to look down as Riku let his body fall from Sora's arm and flop on the ground.

"Aerith too," Riku said, rubbing his eyes.

"Oh...in your bed?"

"Yeah..."

"Did you change the sheets?"

"You're such a mom. Yes, I changed them."

"Says the guy who suddenly has a dozen kids after one round with his boyfriend...mommy."

Riku sighed while Sora tried to keep a straight face, he was supposed to be serious after all, but the chance to one up Riku came even less than holidays. He indulged himself in a couple laughs while Riku sighed tiredly again and rested his head on Sora's shoulder. They grew cooler in the fading sun, but for a while they just lay wordlessly on the ground, unseen in the shrubs and tree roots.

"Sora, I'm sorry," Riku said as the sun moved out of his eyes and he could look easily at Sora.

"You can say sorry by letting me help you. And don't keep important things from me, even for a day or I'll keep things from you," he chided but kissed Riku's forehead with an awkward craning of his neck.

"Sora, you know you talk nonstop, right? Plus, you live on a little farm in the country. The bad things seem to be happening in town."

"Maybe but I did tell you about the gunshots Axel and Roxas heard last summer. That's kind of interesting. Plus, Professor Diz told us he was worried a war might break out. Remember? We visited him in the summer."

"Yeah, I remember, but I think we're dealing with vandals not soldiers. Besides, who would want to take on Twilight Town? We don't even have a full-fledged police force. It's just stupid to try and knock us off the map. We have nothing worth taking."

Sora's brows knitted slightly as he looked into Riku's confident eyes. His wariness faded with his best friend's steady gaze and they drew close together.

Riku was a little worried that Sora might feel the twitch of his heart as some part of him worried about the strange events going on in Twilight Town. He was about to say something smart between Sora's kisses, just to make the other agitated, when he heard the school doors open and someone exited. The person's footsteps halt at the tops of the stairs a couple feet from where the boys lay secluded. They grew still as embarrassment made their hearts pick up. It wasn't like they'd never been caught kissing on school grounds, but they could recognize their professor's face through the shrubbery's branches. They had been caught by Diz before, but there was something about the way Diz just blinked said their names and told them good day. The day after being caught, the class was usually given a lecture on the human body and both boys knew the groans of the class was caused by Sora and Riku's moans the day before.

Their hearts sped up when Diz growled, "What are you doing here?"

Sora was about to pipe up awkwardly how he and Riku were just hanging about, but Riku clamped a hand over Sora's mouth and whispered in his ear, "He wasn't talking to us."

Through the leafy mesh of the trees and the creeping twilight they saw their professor descend a couple steps and stand rigid with anger as he said to someone out of view, "This is Twilight Town school property. You have no right to be here."

"I find that rather cold, doctor," a cool voice said from near the bottom of the steps, "You must recognize your own student's apprentice. It would break my heart if you couldn't remember a face like mine."

"So you are Xemnas' apprentice now?" Diz asked, sounding slightly surprised and even less amused.

"He trained me from a very young age as you know well. Or perhaps you don't since you left town not longer after," the unseen man said and could be heard taking a couple steps up the stairs. Riku could see a shock of blue hair on black clad shoulders through the trees.

"Don't tell me that you and Xemnas are willing to start a war for vengeance on me."

"No, that would just be a side effect and since we're on that topic now I have a question to ask in the place of my superior."

"I give answers that are available through textbook readings. Go buy a book from your local store and get out of Twilight Town," Diz said coldly while the other man bowed his head to smirk at his feet.

He ignored Diz and said, "I have a message for the ruler of this town."

"The ruler?" Diz asked incredulously.

"Twilight Town's king or mayor or, if you simple people still believe in higher powers, your deity incarnate will suffice."

Diz seemed to waver for a moment before saying firmly, "I am a professor at a high school. When would I ever be invited to converse with our king?"

"I find it hard to believe that the great Ansem is nothing more than a teacher. That and because we have been watching," the blue haired man said ominously. His voice seemed to become colder as he hissed in a low voice, "I know you do more than just teach. I have seen your methods."

"Xemnas has been watching me?" Diz asked, though he didn't sound all that surprised.

"Among others who you gather with."

Sora and Riku shared a look. Sure Diz was a smart man but they never thought of him as something more than a professor. What suspicious activities was this stranger insinuating Diz had been up to? Riku felt his stomach begin to churn at the start of the conversation and now at the close it felt like a knot. He also felt a pulsing in his mind beating something about the man's uniform and witches. _The kids in the alleyway_. This man looked older than the kids he had heard, but the clothes he was wearing looked similar.

The stranger and Diz stood still as stone, staring hard at each other until Diz said firmly, "I have nothing to say to you that I have not repeated many times already."

"I figured as much," the stranger coincided with a nod of his head. His smile looked sharp as he sneered, "Cowards never do."

"Get out!" Diz ordered and jabbed the air to point the man towards the edge of town. Their professor's eyes were livid and his voice was rough as he spat, "Hallow Bastion people are not welcome here."

The stranger bowed his head and turned to leave. From the bottom of the steps he could be heard saying, "I'll inform General Xemnas that you have taken the first strike. Then again, I'm sure he already knows this."

Sora and Riku breathed at odd intervals hoping that Diz wouldn't notice them. They felt that a different sort of lesson other than sex ed would be given to them if he discovered them now. Riku didn't even think he would be able to form a half-assed reason for being there with all the questions that buzzed in his mind from the stranger's words with Diz.

They had to wait for Diz to take a couple breaths before the professor began to descend the stairs at a slightly uneven pace. They waited a couple minutes more, the ground sapping the last of their combined heat from their bodies, as they made sure that Diz was far away. Then they slowly sat up and looked to each other for some sort of explanation.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary: **Riku notices some odd goings-on in his hometown and there have been rumours that a war is on the rise. The lovers struggle to find footing for their relationship during times of secrecy, fighting and loss. Many people made and make mistakes that have and will leave wounds that may become infected and refuse to heal, or ones that will scar over with the help of a friendly hand.

**Themes:** There is some romance between Sora and Riku as well as some mention of Axel/Roxas. Friendship in times when it is needed for strength. Adventure in the discovery of who really is the hero of the story. Angst for young men failing to see the light peeking through their dark actions. Hurt/comfort in the loss of lovers, brothers, beauty and pride. And humour, sometimes dark, for a break in all that drama.

**Author's Notes:** We get to see a little of Leon here. I always think of lions when I hear his name and even just his stoic demeanor is kingly. Or maybe he's more wolfish in the sense he's aloof and somewhat mysterious not wolfish in the sense that he's on the prowl for chickens, cows and virgins. Chickens, cows and virgins aside, I'll at least put out a chapter a week. Thanks for tunning into my sporadic updates, much appreciated.

* * *

><p><strong>Heralds<strong>

By the time Sora and Riku got to Naminé's house the sun had set and they only had about fifteen minutes of visiting time with the tired girl. She didn't look as lost and burnt as the night before, and there was still a gleam to her eyes as she said goodbye from her bed, her head lying heavily on her pillow.

On the walk home Kairi seemed to be caught between sadness and anger. She settled on a look of confused misery as she said at the doorstep to her house, "It makes no sense that their store was burned. Who would do something like that?"

"What?" Sora asked, shocked out the confusion that had numbed his tongue after Diz's conversation.

"So they know for sure that it was arson?" Riku asked, far less surprised than his boyfriend. Maybe he was being paranoid but he thought he might even have a couple drunken culprits on his suspect list.

"Yeah," Kairi said, anger flaring in her eyes, "the broken bottles of booze and gasoline say so. I still don't get why though! I mean, if your look at Naminé you don't see a threat. She's just too sweet."

"And friendly," Roxas chimed in.

"And pretty," Olette said with a smile.

Pence blushed and pointed to Olette as he mumbled, "I was gonna say that."

"And a witch," Hayner said in a haunting voice as he clapped Olette and Pence on their shoulders. In the darkness of the houses' shadows, Olette and Pence jumped at Hayner's touch and both scolded him.

"Hayner! Where the hell did you pull that piece of information out of?" Olette snarled. She gave him a scorching look for his insensitivity to Naminé and his friends.

"Probably his ass," Pence muttered and Roxas nodded approvingly with his lips pulling up at the corners.

"Apothecary? Right?" Hayner said defensively like the entire group were the ones being stupid. He crossed his arms and turned his back on them as he struck out for his home in the other direction of the quiet street. He said snidely, "I'm not saying she's a witch but apothecaries are stereotyped as being witches. I think she's just as awesome as the rest of you. I'm going home now. The air's not the only thing that's biting."

"Oh, for the love of – Hayner! Wait!" Olette called at their friend's haughtily hung shoulders. She shared and exasperated look with Roxas before grabbing Pence by his sleeve and running to where Hayner had ground to a halt with his arms crossed and moody expression. Sora and the others could hear Olette's scolding tone reverberate off the walls of the houses as her group pressed on. "No one should be walking alone at night just after someone's shop was torched. Don't be so stuck up."

Hayner's reply bounced even clearer off the walls with his indignation. "Like they'd even try with me. But, hey, they're cowards so they're probably idiots too."

The four remaining friends heard the trio's bickering fade into the night and turned to watch their silhouettes round a corner when their voices were lost. Riku snorted to himself over Hayner's barely reigned attitude. Olette controlled Hayner with a shoestring bridle and for that Riku had to admire her. He continued walking and expected Sora and Roxas to fall to the right side street with a goodbye. Instead the boys ran two steps to catch up.

Sora turned to Riku and said with determination, "I'll come over to your place, Riku, and help you with the kids."

"Thanks, but-"

"And I'll come too," Roxas added as he stepped forward to loop an arm around his brother's neck and affectionately tugging Sora closer.

Sora mumbled his thanks to Roxas and both brother's turned smug eyes on Riku. Kairi laughed and bade them goodnight and Riku was left to lead the boys to his house, a tired smile on his face.

* * *

><p>It only took a week to get the orphanage rebuilt due to the small amount of damage done and Leon's slight presence. Riku was envious of how even Leon's faint presence was able to command respect and ensure things were done quickly while he had to grunt and snarl if he wanted someone's aid or attention.<p>

Diz allowed Riku the day off to help Aerith move the children from his house to the orphanage. Of course, Sora, Roxas and Kairi tagged along and since Naminé was well again, Kairi dragged her along too.

Naminé, though an only child and admittedly homeschooled until she came to Twilight Town, surprisingly dealt well with children. Blushingly she pegged her talent with children as being imaginative due to her lack of friends until now. She burned rose red when Sora and Kairi bombarded her with compliments for her patience and kindness. Sora was even fiercer with his compliments after finding out about Diz's hate for people from Hallow Bastion. Because Riku had advised Sora against telling Naminé about Diz's feelings when she was tired and emotionally drained after the fire, he seemed all the more adamant about supporting her even against the smallest slight to her name.

Riku agreed that Diz had no reason to hate Naminé but maybe there was a reason for his hate towards others from Hallow Bastion, like that blue haired man. Diz was a man who lived his life by rational. It wasn't in the professor's character to judge people based on impressions when he went by facts for everything else. Although, Riku really had to swallow his heart and try to look at his own facts without bias when Naminé offered the herbal remedies she had salvaged from the flames to Aerith and the children in order to ward off colds and induce sleep. He tried but he couldn't see how Diz could detest Naminé who was now crouched before the children, dropping the roundest rocks she could find from the hem of her skirt and knelt on the still sooty flooring to learn how to play marbles.

Leon stopped by the orphanage for a little, looking strangely exhausted for not having worked that day. He entered the orphanage, took a look at the new wall and skirted Naminé and the children as he made a beeline for Riku.

Riku tried to look relaxed as he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall while waiting for Leon to approach.

"Everyone's good," Riku said as Leon stood before him.

Leon nodded and looked to the group crowded in a circle on the floor. "It's because they're in good hands."

Riku just grunted in agreement and appreciation while ducking his head to hide his smile.

"Do we have a new addition?" Leon asked, nodding to Naminé who was shaking out her fingers after giving a pebble a hard flick.

"No, that's Naminé," Riku answered as he watched his little brothers giggle at Naminé's softness, "She's the daughter of the apothecary owners. She helped out along with Sora and Kairi today."

Leon made an amused noise in the back of his throat for which Riku gave him a confused look. His elder brother's eyes glowed with amusement and a slight smirk, which Riku had learned to copy at the impressive age of six, curled his lips in one corner.

"Diz has been going on and on about us being invaded by Hallow Bastion spies and this is who we are supposed to fear?" Leon chuckled while in the foreground Sora joined the game only to send his pebble flying through the air and caused Naminé to duck with her hands over her head.

While Leon gazed steadily at Naminé Riku watched his elder brother. Leon was up to something with the brightest brain in Twilight Town and he couldn't help but feel that he was being kept in the dark wings of the stage when he should have been at least in the background or, more likely, stage left nearing the centre.

Riku cleared his throat and hoped that he wasn't crossing any invisible brotherly, hierarchical boundaries when he asked, "Leon, what have you been up to?"

Leon sighed and replied unhelpfully, "I need you here, Riku."

"I get that except for the fact that they don't need me here," Riku said, pointing to the children now laughing as Naminé knocked Sora's pebble from the chalk drawn ring.

"You say that right after the orphanage is renovated because of a fire someone set purposely?" Leon asked and closed his eyes. Riku watched frustrated as Leon folded his arms and leaned heavily on the wall. Riku felt a little like a child pulling on a parent's pant leg in a plea for attention, but he truly believed he had a point worth making.

"The fire was set in Naminé's shop, the orphanage was just an accident," Riku said as he too crossed his arms and leaned against the wall with one leg bent to for a four. He pointed to the little, blonde girl and tried to keep his tone in check while still implying emotion as he argued, "You know how you said that you get that I have a life outside of here? With Sora and Kairi and Roxas and – and everyone else? Naminé is part of that other life now and if she's in trouble I want to know...If everyone is in trouble I want to know. I want to help."

"What if I tell you you're too young?" Leon asked, eyes still closed and arms crossed.

"I take care of myself, a dozen children as well as my friends. I'm not too young for responsibility."

"Then what if I tell you that your involvement could put everyone you're responsible for in danger?"

"It sounds like they might already be in danger," Riku quipped.

"Then what if I just tell you 'no'?"

Riku paused for a moment and thought through his list of answers. Though his blood boiled under his skin he trashed the rudest comebacks and chose the most tactical response.

"I'm stubborn enough to follow you and waste both our times."

Leon _humph_ed amusedly before opening his eyes and fixed his steady gaze on Riku. The younger brother tried to look as serious as possible and met Leon's searching gaze with determination.

Leon chuckled little teasingly, little tiredly, and relaxed further against the wall as he said, "Fine, but you'll be explaining everything you just said to me to Diz and the King."

* * *

><p>Leon and Riku made their way to the schoolhouse. Just like most of the sun's light, the people on the grounds and the surrounding streets had disappeared.<p>

Riku had said goodbye to Kairi, Sora and Naminé at Kairi's house. The girl's waved him off brightly while Sora stared at him questionably. Riku pulled Sora into a deep kiss, wary of the girl's giggles but not caring if it meant Sora would be distracted. For good measure Riku discreetly ran his fingers along Sora's hip bones with the promise to spend as much time as possible with him on the weekend.

Sora's subdued stare lingered with him and guilt pulled his heart lower in his chest than was healthy. He wasn't even sure where he was stepping onto and he wasn't about to pull Sora with him if the path was bumpy or the fall steep. Yet the guilt purred in his heart.

Leon led them into the school and they made their way to Diz's classroom where the light shone into the hallway. Before stepping into the room Leon halted a couple feet from the patch of light and murmured some advice that was both very good and smirk inducing for both brothers.

"Riku, try not to be rude."

Riku smirked and replied, "I'll give it my best shot."

The room looked as it always did: small, wooden, and only slightly darker than usual. A couple long tables had been placed at the head of the room along with chairs, and the desks had been pushed back. Diz sat at his desk in conversation with a man Riku thought looked slightly familiar. The man was short with large ears and a cheerful voice. That was all Riku saw of his professor and the small man before two..._knights?_ Riku supposed appeared in the doorway and barred their entrance. Riku thought the arms stretching to block their way was as effective as the short knight trying to jump and block his vision.

"Not another step until you give us your names and business!" the short knight squawked, still hopping to cover the others in the room.

"Uh, but Donald, we know Leon," the other gangly guard said, his arms lowering and face becoming joyful. He turned to Riku and smiled goofily as he said, "And any friend of Leon's is a friend o' mine."

"Goofy! You can't just let anyone in!" Donald said, stamping his foot in frustration as Goofy stepped aside.

At the mention of a friend, Diz stood up from behind his desk and peered around Donald, asking, "Leon? Who have you brought with you? Someone trustworthy I presume."

"I think I've already got a pretty good rep with you," Riku said, following Leon past Goofy while Donald gave an indignant squawk.

Diz looked mildly surprised and merely chuckled at Riku's remark. The professor's old eyes remained happily crinkled at the corners for then on into the night.

The small man next to Diz's desk smiled and waved at him, but with a sort of sadness about him.

"And here I thought we would not be enlisting Riku's help," Diz said to Leon with a bright smile.

Diz either didn't notice or didn't care that Leon's face shifted from calm to looming storm as he leaned on the wall by one of the windows and looked outside, presumably for anyone looking in. In a tense tone he said, "We weren't supposed to. I think he's too young and by the sorry look on His Majesty's face so does the King."

Riku looked from Leon to the short man by Diz's desk. The short man, or the King rather, looked dismally at the floor and said in a truly sorry tone, "Gosh, I don't think Riku's too young. Great things can be done by any age. There are just times when I wish they didn't have to be."

"Wise words, my friend," Diz said with a respectful bow while Leon remained silent and stared out the window. Riku could see his older brother's surly expression reflected in the dark window pain. Leon's expression became slack in the areas of his face that had been the most severe and the subtle change made him appear worried. The loss of the sharp corners of his mouth changed his minute snarl to something more like a terse frown. Riku slowly turned away from Leon with a cold lump sizzling low in his stomach.

Riku felt like a fish with its head in the water and its tail flapping on dry land. He could breathe the atmosphere of the room and see its happenings, but he wasn't actually swimming with Leon, Diz and the others yet. Leon was little help seeing as he seemed to feel that his job of bringing Riku here had been completed and Riku wasn't exactly sure how to feel about Diz. He didn't like how his professor had been treating Naminé or the half clear conversation Diz had with the blue haired man the other day. Riku had grown up in an orphanage where children had come from a number of tragic and sometimes nightmarish situations. Of course he grew up knowing everyone had a dark side whether they wore it on their sleeves or kept it hitched to the bottom of their feet to drag behind them like a shadow. Seeing Diz's ugly side worried Riku a great deal because what Diz lacked in youth he made up for with intelligence. Being somewhere in the top of the class had taught Riku that intelligence was a rich earth that could grow any type of plant, be it fruit or poison ivy.

What also had him sidling up to Diz instead of approaching him head on, was that Riku trusted Leon's instincts and right now Leon seemed aggravated by Diz's welcoming of him. It stung his pride to have Leon's disapproval though. A couple weeks ago Leon had been commending him for keeping their brothers and sisters safe and told him that he'd have to take on Leon's responsibilities. Now Riku was suddenly too young and, though he wanted nothing more than to be in this room and learn something on Leon's level, he felt like an ant among elephants, boasting strength when a single toe could crush him.

Riku steeled himself and gained some confidence when he stopped his fist from shaking. He stepped forward and stood before the King, hesitating a moment before bowing as low as he could, though he doubted even on his knees he was less than a foot shorter than the King. In what he hoped was a respectful voice he said, "Your Majesty, I'll do whatever it takes to help keep my friends safe."

"That's a very considerate thing to do, Riku," the King said, bowing his own head in approval as Riku knelt before him. Riku looked up with bright eyes and the King stared at him with that sorry look again as he asked, "But what if it means losing your friends or even yourself? You've got many years to live still, would you want to live them as someone else? Maybe...even someone you despise?"

"I..." Riku began, the words 'I'll do whatever it takes' threatening to teeter from his tongue and land like a deadweight of inexperience on the floor. He _felt_ like he could do whatever it would take to keep Sora and everyone safe, but he had no proof. How many times had he let Leon or Sora pick up where he slacked? And here he was walking in Leon's footsteps instead of sinking his own into the ground.

Leon was watching him now with an unreadable expression. Riku looked back to the King who stared openly at him.

Riku let his shoulder's slump as he said honestly and degradingly, "I don't exactly understand what you mean but I know I can help. And if it's for my friends then I'll try my hardest. Just help me understand and let me help. I can help you, just let me prove I can."

There was a soft exclamation of appreciation from Goofy and a knowing huff from Leon, but no one looked scornfully at him. It was funny how he felt and was treated like less of a child after admitting to being something like one.

"Gosh, you have nothing to prove to me. Just having you is a great help," the King said earnestly and he motioned for Riku to stand.

"A much needed help," Diz chimed in, stepping forward to stand before the chalk board and pull a different map down from the one Riku had seen in class. With a flapping noise, the map came down to show another view of the land. This map was a close up of the area surrounding Twilight Town including the edge of Hallow Bastion, the forest between the two towns with its river, and Sora's farmland.

Diz turned to Riku and asked, "What do Twilight Town and Hallow Bastion have in common?"

"Um, similar geography, the same average lifespan, the same source of resources. We all breathe air," Riku said caught off guard by the question and feeling silly supplying answers that may or may not be helpful when there were so many answers to give. It was like Diz asking him how a lemon and an orange were similar. It would be a lot easier to say what was different about them and in the end the differences would be minuscule.

Diz looked like he may have sucked a lemon as he nodded and said gravely, "The people of Hallow Bastion have the same wants as us only they want more. As I warned before the end of summer, a war will break out."

"Is breaking out," Leon said gruffly as he continued his watch out the window.

Diz nodded and continued in his same serious tone that Riku had often heard him use for history lectures, "It has been a long time coming. Before I deserted Hallow Bastion there were grumbles of war, and if I am to be honest, which I should be for it is I who ought to prove myself to you all, I was an important part of those grumbles."

The room was silent at Diz's confession though the King looked to his old friend with sympathetic eyes. Riku wasn't really sure how he should feel. Diz, to him, was just a professor and hearing vague stories about how he had been an active force in Hallow Bastion's military made him feel only a slight mistrust for the man. The thing that irked Riku the most was Diz's blind hate for the people of Hallow Bastion when he had come from there and even admitted to doing damage. Riku highly doubted homeschooled and shy Naminé had ever devised torture methods or made bombs from the left over fertilizer she used in her garden. Then again, maybe he shouldn't be so trustful of those around him considering what he was learning of Diz.

Diz continued speaking and looked to Leon to acknowledge his support. Leon, catching the professor's glance in the window's glass, turned to nod once and returned to stare outside again.

"There is a man named Xemnas and he has used the last couple years to build himself a group of trusted individuals. Leon has noticed, as perhaps you have, Riku, that Xemnas' group has expanded and mixed new blood with its old, experienced blood."

Riku nodded though he hadn't known the drunken teens in black coats were Xemnas' army brats. He wouldn't have guess they were part of any military operation considering they looked and behaved like some macabre satire of boy scouts.

"The young people you see in the dark alleys of Twilight Town are unimportant," Diz said, shaking his head as if all those vandals were irritating flies, "They are to distract us from the battle beginning _here_."

Diz put a finger on the map, pointing to land that was neither Twilight Town nor Hallow Bastion. There was no picture or indicator of a white farmhouse where Diz's finger rested, but a little further north and a little more to the east there should have been. Riku's throat went dry and his eyes went wide.

"Leon and his troupes know more of what happens on the battle field," Diz said, nodding to Leon who finally stepped away from his post and stood between Riku and the map.

"So far our squabbles have been small and deep in the woods, maybe closer to Hallow Bastion," Leon said while he traced a route through the forest. Leon's hand moved to Twilight Town as he explained, "We may encounter the most enemies in the woods but Xemnas has his lowest ranked soldiers posted in Twilight Town and likely higher ranked officers posted just outside to be reported to. At first, the lower ranked soldiers were our targets but we quickly realized they're nobodies in this fight. The people we want to target are Xemnas and the officers he handpicked. They run this war and they are the ones with an actual plan. And we believe that their headquarters are here."

Leon stabbed the chalkboard with a finger, completely off the map. If the map had continued from the edge of Hallow Bastion Leon's finger would be at the heart of the town.

"So what's being done about these elite officers?" Riku asked after clearing his throat and hoping his voice didn't waver.

"Nothing," Leon said and left his hand fall. He moved away from the chalkboard and back to the window to stare out into the dark with Riku's incredulous eyes following his back.

"Nothing?" Riku echoed disbelievingly. He looked to Diz whose eyes reflected half Riku's rage. The King merely looked sad and his guards seemed to be in agreement with their King's feelings.

Riku rounded on Leon, his chest feeling heavier than normal as he asked, "Why aren't we doing anything?"

"Like Diz said, General Xemnas has had years to prepare and more people to choose from. Twilight Town is small and we've only started our own regiment within the last year," Leon said, fixing his eyes on Riku and damming Riku's fears and anger with his logic. Leon dipped his head sadly as he said, "The best thing we can do right now is gather information and try to survive by defending more than attacking."

"Oh," was all Riku had to say to that, but the snide bitterness in his voice carried a stronger message. Why weren't the others afraid like he was? Everyone seemed calm or sad while they knew that enemies drank in their streets and made fires of homes.

"We're lucky that Xemnas hasn't brought the war to Twilight Town," Diz said solemnly and Leon closed his eyes and sighed as Riku turned sharply on Diz.

"Riku," Leon said warningly.

"Do you have any idea what you just said?" Riku asked, blatantly wondering. He pointed to no-man's-land on the map and asked, "Do you know who lives out there?"

"I presume you are speaking of my students, Sora and Roxas," Diz said as he took a seat behind his desk again.

"Yeah, my boyfriend and his brother," Riku said, reeling at the fact that Diz was so calm. He pointed to Diz but looked to Leon for reassurance as he said, "You just condemned my best friend to death."

"Whether I have or have not condemned them remains undecided. However, if the battle was brought inside Twilight Town I can guarantee lives would be lost here, and many lives," Diz seemed to hesitate on his next words, but decided that Riku would need to hear them if he was to truly understand the cost of war. Diz took a breath and looked Riku in the eye as he said, "Sora and Roxas, despite being precious students, are only two lives. Twilight Town is hundreds."

"They're important!" Riku pleaded. Why was Leon just staring at his feet and the King just growing sadder and sorrier looking? Leon had always had an air of power, even when riding a tricycle and surely the King had influence. What good were apologetic stares to burned shops and unaware students?

"Riku," the King said gently when he failed to receive an answer from the people who had steadfastly and brotherly given guidance, "do you think you could ask your friends to move?"

"I...I could but it's complicated," Riku said guardedly. Sora and Roxas were branches of the same tree so they would have to consent to move together, but to which side? Sora was adamant that Roxas loved Axel and Axel just so happened to live in Hallow Bastion. Roxas could grow to the west and Sora to the east, but neither could break from their twined trunk. Riku knew he could never play the part of the axe and he believed (hoped) that Axel wouldn't do so either. He briefly wondered if Axel would join Hallow Bastion's regiment, but he pushed the thought away when Diz leaned forward to stare keenly at him.

"Complicated?" Diz prompted.

"Yeah, the house is probably special to them and they need the farm, but...I have a question about Naminé," Riku said skirting around the 'Roxas is dating a Hallow Bastion citizen' talk that he was not willing to have with Diz.

Diz seemed as repulsed about the topic of Naminé as Riku did about Roxas' best friend, but he allowed Riku to speak.

"She's been targeted - why? And what's being done to help her?"

Diz shook his head and said tiredly, "We've had other things to worry about so we know little on that topic. Perhaps Xemnas did not want a potential healer to move to the enemy town so they would rather watch her family's business burn. Or," Diz's voice became cold and the King looked away, "or her family may be here to spy on us and their shop was burned to stir our sympathy."

"And how likely do you think it is that she'd purposely burn herself?" Riku asked, his voice terse.

"Likely enough," Diz replied and it felt as though the door had closed on the issue.

There was a strained silence where Riku stared at Diz while Diz stared at his firmly clasped hands. Leon just watched the one-sided staring contest along with the King.

From the forgotten corner of the room the King's guards spoke.

"Um, Your Majesty?" Goofy said, "It's gettin' late and the Queen may start to worry."

"Yeah and those enemy soldiers may be out crawling around now," Donald piped up. The stout and plucky knight peered into the dark hallway as though he was suspicious of the shadows hiding Xemnas' drunken ghouls.

"Thanks guys," the King said with a grateful nod to his guards. He turned to look from Diz to Riku and said, "We're a bit behind schedule for what we were supposed to talk about, but it's always a good thing to include another mind in decision making. So..." the King said, looking to the papers on Diz's desk, "I suppose one of the most pressing orders of business is to get Riku trained and as for the rest, Leon, you can talk things over with Diz. I can't stay long now, not after Saix finding out."

"I understand," Diz said with a nod to the King. He let his gaze flicker over Riku before turning to the King and saying ominously, "I have other matters to discuss with Leon now."

The King nodded to Diz and smiled at Riku as he passed. Riku forgot his manners and merely waved his goodbye but the King didn't seem to care seeing as he waved enthusiastically back.

"Riku, go home now," Leon said from the window while still staring out into the grounds.

"Aren't there things you still want to discuss?" Riku asked with a slight frown. He felt a little downhearted that he was to be dismissed so quickly and without any real information. He hadn't come with Leon for this to be a bring your kid to work day scenario and to be even further demoted by being sent home instead of sitting at his father's chair in the corner of the room was even worse.

"Yes but not with you. And before you argue, remember your rank, soldier," Leon said firmly but warm enough to melt some of Riku's bitter ice. Leon further encouraged him with a brief smile, which Riku even reflected genuinely, and said, "I'm sure you noticed that it was just high ranking officials at tonight's meeting. Consider yourself lucky that you were allowed to come and even luckier to be able to speak."

"Alright," Riku coincided and slowly headed for the door, his eyes dragging across the two remaining men as he turned.

"Remember that tomorrow morning I am nothing but your educator," Diz called after him.

Riku looked back briefly over his shoulder and said, "I know that, professor."

* * *

><p>Naminé sat in her little garden in the backyard. The horehound, the lavender and the juniper were her personal stores cut from her parents plants and placed in her own garden for her to learn how to tend until harvested. The white roses she planted of her own volition.<p>

It had rained recently and the air seemed to have life hanging in it. The early morning dew was a bit of a cold shock to Naminé's legs, but it made her feel more lively. A couple birds sang from the rooftops, calling to one another as if to decide what to do when the sun had fully risen.

There were few roses and most of them small, but Naminé happily extracted one that bloomed with all the pride of a lion's main. She straightened and stood, gently removing its thorns. From the corner of her eye she thought she saw something or someone beyond her white picket fence. It looked like a crow's wing flapping as it gained balance on the fence post. Grievous as crows could be as omens, her heart froze and her limbs felt as brittle as ice as she turned around to see a man beyond her fence, a man in a black coat with his hood drawn.

Though she could barely see his face she knew he was watching her, his eyes practically burned two holes through her head. She frowned and gave him as defiant of a look that she could muster, but took a step backwards as a precaution.

"You can run," the man said in a deep and gruff voice, dipping his head in suggestion towards the house's backdoor then slowly shaking his head, "but it won't do you much good."

Naminé remained silent, clutching the rose loosely as she stood defenceless before the man. With his black, shrouding cloak and a gravelly voice he fit the image of Death that Naminé had heard countless stories about. He spoke in a way that seemed to fit her imagination perfectly; he drawled like he had all the time in the world because he was generally the end of all time.

"Don't fret. I won't kill you now, though you have the flowers for a proper burial," the man said while pointing to the rose hanging from her hand.

Naminé drew it to her chest, the dulled stem rubbing benignly against her goosebump flecked skin.

The man laughed as he said with a chill to his voice that she feared could frost her flowers, "Yes, it's a good idea to keep things of the heart close, though you may want to server these ties so that the things you love don't burn with you."

Naminé was chilled even deeper with the gale his words brought but she glared all the more heatedly.

The haunting man snickered darkly as he turned his back on her.

"Next time you may wish to keep the thorns on your rose. It's more likely to prick me than you, little witch."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary: **Riku is now part of the odd goings-on in his hometown and he has confirmed that a war is gradually working towards a peaking point. Sora has noticed some changes in Riku's patterns and he is just as determined as Riku is to save his home town to understand what is breaking between them. Many people made and make mistakes that have and will leave wounds that may become infected and refuse to heal, or ones that will scar over with the help of a friendly hand.

**Themes:** There is some romance between Sora and Riku as well as some mention of Axel/Roxas. Friendship in times when it is needed for strength. Adventure in the discovery of who really is the hero of the story. Angst for young men failing to see the light peeking through their dark actions. Hurt/comfort in the loss of lovers, brothers, beauty and pride. And humour, sometimes dark, for a break in all that drama.

**Author's Note:** Roses are interesting. For one, they have as many complex layers of petals as they do symbolism. I think most people see them to mean romance, beauty or maybe even a reference to Salior Moon. But usually roses have something to do with affection and depending on the colour affection levels change. Red for love (like you didn't know/couldn't guess), pink for young love/ a crush (makes sense, pink is just a diluted version of red, yet dramatically less appealing to me), yellow for friendship (because the sun is yellow and the sun is our friend? But lemons are also yellow and they aren't terribly friendly...I am talking about the citrus fruit not the other lemon. If anything THAT lemon is overly friendly) and white for innocence (because like a table cloth once you stain it it will never be pure again). And what's the point of this ramble on roses? Nothing, I suppose. What is important to note is I do not have my wonderful editor that I had for my other story _Hero_. With that being said, I have lost a critical eye and a catching hand for grammatical slip ups, verb confusion, cliché use and general nonsense control. I apologize for any of the above mistakes. Thank you, you are all wonderful for reading, reviewing, alerting and favouriting.

* * *

><p><strong>Lost and Found<strong>

"That's pretty, Kairi."

"Thanks, Roxas," Kairi beamed and touched her hair lightly where the white head of a rose bloomed vividly in her russet hair. The flower looked like an elegantly folded napkin floating in red wine without being stained. The rose rustled a little as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Where'd you get it?" Roxas asked as he lounged on the low bough of the crab apple tree at the edge of town.

"It was left on my doorstep by Naminé or maybe her parents 'cause there was a note that said not to wait for her because she's sick today," Kairi explained, smiling amusedly as the boy slipped on the bough and ended up hanging upside down.

After his heart slowed from the sharp jerk his body had taken, Roxas said with the blood rushing to his face, "That's too bad...maybe we can visit her afterschool?"

"Funny, I was thinking the same thing," Kairi said, swooping her hair behind her ear yet again as she smiled cunningly.

"I wish Riku left me notes or something to say that he's not coming," Sora sighed as he picked and pulled at the cool grass. He pulled up a fistful of grass along with a clump of dirt. He sighed again as he vigorously wiped the dirt off on his pants and thought bitterly, _or to tell me he's still alive_.

Roxas shared a frowning look with Kairi before they both stared down at Sora who sat among the roots of the tree. Sora continued to pick at the grass while his brother and good friend moved slowly with trepidation around the tree.

For the past two weeks Riku had been more absent than present from their group events. Roxas noted that Sora wasn't as irked by Riku's absence as he was by other people asking him where Riku was. Normally Sora had some sort of answer be it 'Riku's working' or 'he's helping on the farm' or even 'he's around town'. Now the best answer he could come up with was 'I'm not sure' uttered through a lip he held between his teeth.

Roxas would watch Sora try to talk to Riku during class or slip him notes, but Diz seemed to be an eagle for inattention and now pounced on every slight rustle or twitch Sora made to disrupt the class. Roxas didn't know how Sora could keep trying to talk to Riku when he, Sora's brother, felt like yelling at the guy. Maybe it was because of Roxas' fury that Sora was able to keep calm by living his fiery emotions through his little brother. There was also Kairi and Naminé who tried their best to distract Sora, often inviting him for ice cream or to study with them at Kairi's place. Sora seemed grateful but Roxas knew it was only a matter of time before he broke and told the girls he liked guys for a reason and neither Kairi nor Naminé could take the place of Riku. Here Roxas was thankful for having to actually bar doors and especially lock windows if he wanted to keep Axel out. He might have actually murmured something like thanks against Axel's throat the night before.

Roxas was beginning to tense and huff just at the mention of Riku's name and he had to remind himself that Sora got first dibs on how to handle Riku. Still, God help the silver haired anomaly if he was sneaking off to some other man's bed without unhooking his lure from Sora's heart first.

Maybe angry thoughts weighed more than happy ones because Roxas fell headlong out of the tree and landed at his brother's feet with a grunt.

"Well, this morning's turning out to be a real kicker," Roxas said as he rolled to his feet and tried to ignore the buzzing in his head.

"We can't hang around any longer," Sora said, stretching as he got to his feet.

"Alright," Roxas said as he waited for Sora to come to his side. The trio began walking towards school, Sora slightly subdued, Roxas slightly agitated, and Kairi trying to keep a smile on as she worried about the people not present. Her rose lost a petal on her shoulder which eventually was carried off by the wind to underfoot of the people walking the streets.

* * *

><p>Riku had never been late to class once, not even after he had begun training with Leon and his subordinates. In fact, with the training he had had just inside Twilight Town he found it easier to get around now that he could run longer distances and scale walls and fences that would have kept him out before.<p>

Surprisingly the learning to roll when ordered to or jumping from heights that may or may not break his legs, were not the hardest things to learn. What hurt his head more than Leon's boxing lessons was Diz's drilling of information into his skull. It was hard enough to keep up in school without having to learn the geography of Hallow Bastion or the names and faces of Xemnas' officers.

He also found some things strange, like how he hadn't had the chance to mingle with the other soldiers of his rank, only Leon and his immediate subordinates or superiors. He was also usually dispatched to the King's castle, of all places, to train and learn on weekends.

Then there were the things he was told about but told not to know about. It was like he sat at a tea table, staring at a cheerily whistling teapot. Then Diz, who was also sitting at the ornate and dollied table, would whisper demurely, "There is no teapot, Riku" and Riku would have to look through the bouncy kettle's steam pretending there was no steam because there was no kettle and so there would be no tea either. They kept gold flecked cups before them for pretence's sake though.

Just thinking about Mickey's sheepish shrug as Leon stared down hard at him and Diz stood to the side watching Riku's expression as he tried to remember to forget some of the things he had learned, it just made his head throb and his nose crinkle with derision.

He got that Twilight Town's regiment had to be stealthy and secretive because they didn't have the numbers to be any other muscle in the war other than the brain, but he didn't quite understand everything that they were doing. He wasn't even sure what his part was so he couldn't tell Sora anything because he didn't know if what he said would be the truth or a lie and telling either seemed to have dire consequences. Sadly, it was safer for Riku to just not be around Sora and the others.

Riku had two minutes to get to class which got his heart racing as he hopped a fence, grabbed hold of a rain gutter and leapt across a couple roofs before slipping unseen into the bushes next to the school and joining the stream of students as they filed in.

His friends were already in class chatting and Diz was at the board writing part of the day's note. He was surprised to see Roxas in his usual seat next to Sora, but Riku merely took one look at the brothers and made his way to the back. Fair was fair after all, but Roxas' irritated huff stopped him.

"Oh Riku, don't be such a martyr," Roxas teased as he got up from Riku's seat and moved to his usual spot. He shook his head and said with a lopsided grin, "All you have to do is actually _ask_."

"Thanks," Riku said curtly, ignoring Roxas' hint and took his seat next to Sora.

"If everyone would settle down for today's lesson," Diz said to start the class.

"Morning," Sora said to Riku, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Morning," Riku replied as he took his notebook out and focused on the board.

There was a pause where Riku felt Sora's eyes on the side of his face and he went about copying notes into his notebook. After copying the first line of the note on the great war between Port Aqua and Terra, Sora broke the silence between them.

"It's not hot out today," Sora said wonderingly.

Riku was accustomed to Sora's sometimes odd prattle but maybe he really had been keeping his distance now that he couldn't even understand what Sora was on about. Riku looked at his boyfriend like Sora was being an idiot, but Sora appeared quite serious.

Sora reached out his hand and felt Riku's forehead as he explained, "Your face is red and you're sweating. Are you feeling okay?"

"Oh, I was running because I was a little late today," Riku explained.

"Why were you late?" Sora asked from the corner of his mouth as Diz paused in writing and peered over his shoulder at them.

"Working out," Riku said with a shrug.

"Oh," Sora said as he feigned placidity by staring at his blank paper. He paused to pretend to take notes and when Diz was back to talking Sora asked, "Should I be working out too?"

"Sora, you've had muscles since you were six," Riku said while scrawling notes, "You live on a farm and always do things the long way. You're strong enough."

"Thanks and I think you are too," Sora said earnestly while putting his pencil down to stare at his boyfriend. Riku paused in his writing as well and looked to Sora, losing some of his cold shell to Sora's honest and warm eyes.

Riku shared a smile with him as he began to turn back to his notes, but Sora put a hand over his.

"The thing is though," Sora said, looking down at his shoes, "I've always thought you were beautiful."

"Sora," Riku choked, lowering his voice even more and looking at the people in the surrounding desks to see if they had heard what was being said. Roxas was trying to hide his smirk by writing his notes with his nose practically pressed to the desk and Hayner was practicing his imitation of a gopher by staring at them with a quizzical sneer.

"Don't be modest, Riku. You're Goddamn gorgeous and you're body reminds me of mountains - 'cause you're so chiselled, and rocky and – and _hard_."

"Sora, stop it," Riku hissed and tried to withdraw his hand from Sora's, but he was caught between his boyfriend and a hard desk. Their conversation was drawing more stares and this embarrassment meant nothing to Sora, seeing as he was the class clown. Riku was no clown and definitely not for the ridiculous metaphors and the gophers' stares.

"And I've missed climbing those cliffs-"

"Sora!" Riku barked in a hushed sort of way while the class chuckled. He grabbed a hold of Sora's hand to massage it almost painfully. Both boys grimaced as he said, "If you don't stop talking there's going to be a landslide off these cliffs, okay?"

"Alright, mommy, but can you promise me that I'll see you today if I let go of your hand?" Sora asked, grinding Riku's hand now with his.

"I was planning on hanging around," Riku grated out, his hand was beginning to turn to sand in Sora's farmhand grip.

"Okay," Sora said and released him hand to go back to note taking just as Diz opened his mouth to ask what was going on. Riku caught the professor's eye and shook his head before looking down at his notes. Diz said nothing and Riku could hear the chalk dryly skating over the board again.

Under his desk, Riku shook out his hand and had an agonizing time writing notes that day.

* * *

><p>Sora held calluses and bruises in his hands and guilt in his heart, but he ignored his feelings and kept a stern frown on his face as he followed Kairi through the quiet suburbs of Twilight Town. Roxas had buggered off with Hayner, Pence and Olette after class and Sora, Riku and Kairi made their way to Naminé's house under the grey threat of rainclouds.<p>

Kairi suggested that Roxas go with Hayner and the others because sick Naminé probably couldn't handle all seven of them in her room. Sora thanked her with a whisper in her ear once Roxas was at the bottom of the steps and sneering up at Riku. Sora believed that if Riku remained tight lipped or indifferent when they had another talk Roxas might not have the willpower to keep himself from jumping to Sora's side and ripping a new hole for Riku to speak from.

The guilt, coupled with the short amount of time it would take to get to Naminé's house, made Sora decide to wait until after their visit with Naminé to talk with Riku.

He looked up at Riku's stoic face and then down at their joined hands. It would be the second time in a month that they would have a serious talk. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. He felt like he was cornering Riku and that brought on a wave of unpleasant feelings that writhed in his gut and crept to the back of his throat.

Riku had been waiting for the questions and searching looks but after many minutes of walking silently he instead felt Sora's hand twitch in his own. He shot a sidelong glance at Sora and caught the other boy's eye. When they both looked away shyly Riku felt, not for the first time but certainly the strongest, that he was doing more harm than good.

He turned back to Sora who was staring at the ground while noticeably watching Riku from the corner of his eye. Sora's lack of stealth curled one side of Riku's lips.

"Hey," Riku said and bumped shoulders with the other. Sora looked at him and Riku smirked fully, but didn't speak. He thought about saying 'we'll talk' or simply 'cheer up' but neither sounded good enough for a friendship as close as theirs and both seemed rather ambiguous. Talk about what? Cheer up because of what? Snorting at his own inner critic, Riku pulled closer to Sora and rested his chin on the other's head then bent to kiss Sora's forehead.

"Okay," Sora murmured while rolling his eyes at their strange, silent and loving communication. For the time being it was enough just to know that Riku loved him. Sora kissed the tips of Riku's fingers to let him know his love was returned.

The boys joined Kairi on Naminé's porch as she knocked on the door. She held the rose in her hands now, its petals limp and yellowing, sometimes dropping from the head like the rose did from Kairi's hair.

Sora thought the pretty, little garden with forget-me-nots and eucalyptuses hanging over the pebble walkway looked adorably like Naminé's style. Riku thought it didn't look like the welcoming sight of a war criminal nor the white picket fence like cast iron gates to a mad scientist's abode.

There was no response within. There were no lights on and the windows were drawn. While Kairi confusedly called Naminé's name and lightly knocked again, Sora and Riku looked up at the attic window above them. They thought they saw a curtain twitch and with all the windows closed they assumed that it would have been stirred by a person and not the wind.

"This is strange," Kairi said after a third gentle battering of the door.

"Maybe you're not knocking loud enough. Here," Sora said and broke from Riku to pound loudly on the door. "Hey Naminé! Let us in. It looks like it's going to rain and we all don't want to catch a cold."

"Sora! She might be sleeping," Kairi reprimanded with a laugh in her voice as she laid a hand over Sora's fist.

"After that she won't be," Riku said with a smirk as he stood back with his arms crossed. He didn't like how vacant the house looked; it set him on edge and made him feel like he should be glancing about for a sign of life. He was worried that he would find something like a rotted post in the picket fence that wasn't meant to be a part of the sweet, petite Cape Cod.

Riku saw the peephole in the door darken and nudged Sora as he said, "There's someone behind the door now."

"Naminé!" Sora called and banged on the door again.

The doorknob turned and slowly opened a fracture. Sora and Kairi crowded the crack while Riku peered over their heads. A small chain kept the door from opening all the way and only the fingertips of a tiny, pale hand could be seen.

"Naminé?" Kairi said, uncertainty dulled her tone.

"Kairi, I'm sorry but I can't see you today," a meek voice said, almost muted by the door and only just slipping out the crack.

"Don't be sorry," she replied, her mood warmer now that she had heard Naminé's voice. Kairi looked down at the flower in her hands and her lip between her teeth. She raised her head and smiled determinedly as she said, "Sweetie, you're sick already so we don't need you feeling any sorrier than you do already. We just want to see you. Can we please? I have to thank you for something too."

Who knew such tiny lungs could heave such a heavy sigh. They listened to Naminé breathe deeply on the other side, in the darkened interior of her home. Kairi felt as Riku did; something was off. Gentle as she was by nature, Kairi wished to tear the little chain that barred her from Naminé. It could have been that the sun had slipped behind the clouds or that a breeze had picked up, but she wanted to be holding someone warm in her arms and Naminé seemed to need the hug the most. Her breathing sounded uneven like she was trying not to cry.

"No, no...n-not today," Naminé said and now all three thought she was in tears. "I'm sorry but please j-just go."

"Aw c'mon, Nams," Sora said cheerily as he peeked into the crack of the door. He saw nothing but the edge of a dark staircase beyond but still he pleaded playfully, "Just for twenty minutes?"

"No," she whispered and the chain hung limp as the door closed a sliver.

"Ten minutes?" Sora bargained, slipping his hand around the door's edge.

"No," she said with a hiccup. "Please go."

Naminé slowly began to close, sticking her hand farther out to push Sora's fingers off the door. Kairi slipped a hand and the wilting flower over Naminé's shaky grasp on the door. Kairi tried murmuring convincing words and running her fingers over the other girl's, but Naminé replied with a bittersweet and watery chuckle the same words she'd been saying all the time they'd been standing on the porch. The door slid forward again, the chain tinkling sadly and Naminé reluctantly shoved Kairi's hand off. The wilted rose was squeezed from Kairi's hand and fell inside the house.

Riku caught the look of terror in Kairi's eye and the desperate, little motions she made to try to calm herself and the girl behind the door. He slid forward and wedged the toes of his shoe between the door and the frame.

"Naminé," he began in a serious tone, "I think you know that unlike our friends I'm not afraid to be assertive in these kinds of situations."

"Everything's fine, Riku."

"If everything's fine then let us at least see you," he quipped.

"I-I'm tired."

"I'll bet from all that crying."

"Riku," Kairi hissed, cuffed his arm but he didn't really care and Kairi was more frustrated by the situation than Riku's blasé way of pointing out embarrassing tears.

Naminé hiccupped behind the door but didn't refute his claim. Riku slid his foot in until the door was as far open as possible and began his verbal attack with reassuring words.

"Naminé, you know you're going to let us in eventually. You like Sora and Kairi too much and I'm just stubborn. Besides," his tone became sincere and lost most of its teasing edge, "if you are sick we want to keep you company. If it's something more then we can help...I _can_ help."

Riku could feel Sora staring at him and knew that his boyfriend was asking a question with his stare. He didn't turn around to explain, the three of them just listened to Naminé's hiccups.

After a moment she asked in a curious and slightly fearful, "Can you really, Riku? Are you with Ansem?"

"Ansem?" he had heard that name once before from the mouth of an enemy spoken to his professor.

"Diz?" Sora said confusedly and caused Riku to tense for a moment before he remembered that Sora had been with him when Saix had confronted Diz outside the school.

He didn't want to give Sora any new information so he said evasively, "Maybe but I can help you, with or without our professor's help."

The day grew sombre with the grey clouds rolling in darker now and the little warmth that the sun had given on that early fall day was blotted and finally dashed completely. The breeze bit deeper into their skin and raised hair, fall jackets and goosebumps. There was a voice from inside Naminé's house calling her away from the door. Riku was almost startled to see Naminé's big, blue eye appear in the crack, the rim of red and puffy.

In a hoarse voice she said firmer than before, "My parents say you can't come in. You have to get away from here. N-now, please. Go."

When Riku refused to take his foot out of the door Naminé just lowered her gaze and walked away, down the hall and deep into the darkness of her house.

"Naminé!" Sora tried calling her back but she had disappeared from view. He turned to Riku and Kairi and asked, "We're not gonna leave her like this, right?"

"Unless you want me to kick the door down we're not getting in," Riku said, sliding his foot out of the crevice and staring at the door with frustration. He _was_ capable of knocking the damn thing down.

"No," Kairi said, shaking her head and giving the door an equally smouldering glare, "we'll go to my place and try again after dinner. We can also keep an eye out for her from there."

Sora and Riku consented to her plan and followed her to the neighbouring house where they waited in Kairi's bedroom, watching Naminé's front garden. At first they were stonily silent, guarding the house with their eyes like gargoyles protecting a church. Sora didn't particularly like the tension and it really wasn't his nature to sit silently and brood, so he started a conversation after a couple minutes.

"So, Riku, what's with all this Ansem business?"

"How am I supposed to know?" he replied, eyes trained on the house and his teeth grinding a bit. He didn't want to have that conversation while there was this strange gloom that hung just outside Kairi's home, originating from somewhere between the forget-me-nots and Naminé's front door. He agreed with Diz that something was up with Naminé though he didn't think it was something that could harm anyone but her. If he could just persuaded her to open the door.

"Well, just that Naminé asked you so I thought maybe you knew," Sora said a little dejectedly and turned back to the window. More to himself than anyone else because no one seemed particularly chatty he said, "Maybe Ansem is the professor's first name. Or his middle. Or maybe he's a crime-fighting warrior by night and that's his code name."

"Oh Sora," Kairi chuckled, broke from her stony reverie and shot him a smile. They came to life while Riku remained statuesque, but shifted one eye their way and hitched up a corner of his mouth upon catching them in his sight.

"Yeah and he creeps around rooftops to stalk his prey," Sora said excitedly, shaking the bed in his enthusiasm. Kairi giggled while Riku remained silent, watching Naminé's house. Sora nudged him and asked, "What do you think, Riku? Do you think Diz is a super hero or an evil genius?"

"I don't know," Riku said, reluctantly turning from the window to look across Kairi over at his boyfriend. "But either way I wouldn't talk about him."

"Why not?" Sora asked mischievously, "You know something we don't?"

"Yeah, I know how to use common sense. If he's a super hero then he'd want to keep his identity hidden and if he's an evil genius, well, then none of us are safe."

"Please, it's creepy enough with what goes on in town these days. Do we really want a mad scientist wandering the neighbourhood with the witch hunters?" Kairi asked laughingly though she spoke the truth. Her words caused the room to drop a couple degrees and made the bedside lamp seem duller somehow.

With a loud cackle that made Riku tense and Kairi flinch, Sora pulled them both into heap on Kairi's bed.

"What are you doing, you maniac?" Kairi laughed, writhing in Sora's arms as he clung to Riku.

"Sora, you're crushing my nose," Riku snorted.

"If Diz is going to do away with us in some horrible experiment I want to spend as much time with you guys now," Sora said, ignoring Riku's protest and squirming as he laughed again.

"Your finger's gonna end up _in_ my nose."

"That's true, isn't it?" Kairi giggled, also ignoring Riku's huffing. She did take notice of his rolling away. "Hey, Riku! Don't you dare slip away."

Kairi twisted around to bunch her hands in Riku's shirt and force him deeper into Sora and hers embrace. Sora draped himself over the both of them and contented himself by playing with Kairi's hair and digging his knuckles into Riku's ribs when he tried to pull away. Of course Riku only tried to pull away because Sora decided his didn't truly want his finger up someone's nose and decided to stick it in Riku's ear instead.

It was hard to tell with Sora's finger in his ear, but he thought he heard Kairi laugh oddly, or maybe it was Sora who uttered the twinkling laugh. Kairi had her face buried in his chest so it couldn't have been her. Riku caught hold of Sora's hand before he probed his ear again and gave him a taunting smile.

"Don't tell me that was you," Riku said with a mocking smirk.

"What was me?" Sora asked bemusedly.

This time they both heard the noise and it wasn't a laugh, though it did twinkle. Sora leapt off the bed, startling Kairi into a sitting position. Riku followed Sora to the window but was sent reeling backwards when Sora swore and swiftly turned about in a dash.

"Sora-!" Kairi began but he cut her off with a yell.

"Naminé! It's on fire! Her house is on fire!"

Kairi was stunned for a moment and Riku was just turning away from the window, his eyes not seeing the blaze until after he blurred through Kairi's house's halls and door. At some point Kairi had grabbed his hand and he must have pulled her along through her house and lawn to stand at the mouth of Naminé's garden.

Kairi was screaming Naminé's name while Riku quickly took in the scene and he knew right away this was no accident. Part of the roof was burning and the side window blazed like the mouth of a dragon. The front door was lit with an X of flames across its plank and Sora was there kicking it off its hinges before disappearing inside.

"Sora!" Riku roared and burst from Kairi's side to trample through the wilting flowerbeds after him. The roses, lilies, daisies – all proud flowers – hung their heads as though choked by the smoke and even curled their leaves as if they too wanted to pretend this wasn't happening.

Inside the house was so dark. Plumes of smoke rose and stung his eyes, made him gag when he should have been screaming Sora's name. The weeks he had spent away from Sora seemed like a waste of time. He could never have been prepared for this and so many hours were spent away from Sora. Riku crouched and found air that was easier to breathe. He couldn't see feet and thankfully no bodies on the ground. The fire couldn't have started long ago. The window in the room to the left shattered and bright, new flames illuminated the smoke eerily.

He heard a high pitched scream full of pain from somewhere upstairs and the blood left his face.

* * *

><p>"Sora!" Riku had shrieked and nearly yanked Kairi's hand off as he bolted for the little burning house. As it was, Kairi ended up on her hands and knees in the dirt and pebbles from Riku's unexpected break away.<p>

It felt like she took fifty quick breaths as she sat on the ground but she was back on her feet just as Riku disappeared from sight. It was like she had returned to her five year old self. Her lungs felt too tiny, everything about this scene confused her and she really wanted to cry. Through her hazing eyes she saw a face in the attic window and she wanted to scream. She did, she screamed Naminé's name but to her surprise it came out hoarse. Maybe she had been screaming the entire time.

She began to run through the waist deep shrubs of Naminé's front garden when she was caught off guard by someone making odd motions at the left side of the house. It didn't make sense. This person wasn't running in or running away; she looked like she was dancing. She was holding something in her hand and a thimbleful of fire in the other hand. As she danced she brought the match to the bottle in and the rag at the top took on the fire.

"Burn witch burn!" she cackled as she tossed the bottle through Naminé's window. The house belched back a plume of fire and the girl laughed harder before running off.

"Bitch!" Kairi shrieked as she dove through the bushes to hunt the girl down. She didn't even take note of the little bits of herself and cloth she left on the thorns.

"What the fuck?" someone yelled from behind Kairi and then she was back on her hands and knees, screeching for whoever it was to get off her back.

"Kairi! KAIRI! Calm the fuck down!" Roxas bellowed over her wails as he sat on her back. "I can't let you go in there."

"I'm not! I'm not! The girl in the black coat - get her! She did this! She did this!" Kairi cried, trying to heave Roxas off her.

"Dammit! Told you!" Hayner barked, presumably shoving Roxas off Kairi's back since his weight just seemed to tumble away.

"Well, don't bitch at me!" Roxas literally spat in Hayner's face while jabbing a finger at the street the girl had disappeared down. "Follow Olette and Pence if you're so keen! Kairi, no!"

Roxas grabbed her by the wrist and prevented her from racing the rest of the way up the front lawn and to the small piece of fiery Hell that had once been a pretty, little home.

"Back off!" Kairi snarled, shaking her wrist so hard it made a cracking sound like a whip.

"Kairi, it's a death wish to go in there."

"Naminé needs me!" she pleaded, tears suddenly bursting from her eyes as she tried to drag Roxas along with her. "I saw her in there! I know she's alive!"

Roxas looked sick to his stomach and if regret was a humour of the body he would have been vomiting it all over Naminé's roses.

"I-I know but I can't lose two girls-"

It was lower than a snake's belly and grounded solely on her desire to tear the house apart in search of Naminé but it did exactly as she wanted it to.

She stopped struggling and said with a quaky voice, "Sora was the first one in there."

* * *

><p>Riku found his way to the stairs mainly on his hands and knees and called Sora's name when he had the air to do so. He had only travelled up maybe three steps when he heard more screams and actually saw something descending the stairs awkwardly. He thought it was someone hunched over or maybe a person with a hump on his or her back. A couple steps later and he could make out Sora's strained face through the smoke as he carried a struggling Naminé over his shoulder. Sora's lip was bleeding and Naminé was screeching like a tormented cat, clawing at Sora's back like one too.<p>

"Sora!" Riku choked and straightened his legs to bolt the few stairs between them.

"Riku, help me!" Sora pleaded, his hands slipping from Naminé's waist as she struggled in his grasp.

"No!" Naminé wailed, "The garden – I – Mom! Dad!"

Riku tried to take Naminé from Sora's exhausted arms, but Sora fell to his knees and impulsively grabbed the railing to keep himself from taking a header down the remainder of the stairs. Naminé took the fall and sat dazed for a moment at the bottom of the steps before getting to her feet and bolting for the back of the house where the fire waggled its many tongues wickedly.

"No!" Sora said hoarsely, trying to get to his feet and almost taking the header before Riku grabbed him by the collar. Sora shook Riku off and yelled hoarsely, "Go get Naminé!"

"Sora, we need to get you out-"

"Go get her!" Sora ordered, pointing into the smoky abyss. "If you don't I'll break up with you."

Riku was floored for a moment, Sora may have been too for he paused and swooned again. The snarl left Sora's face as he tapped Riku's cheek and said, "I'll get out. You get her."

Riku clapped a hand over Sora's touching his face. The boys shared a look filled with promise and then he took off, his mind biting and scratching at his skull for him to at least kiss Sora goodbye in case the worst happened.

* * *

><p>Roxas and Kairi leapt into the house, kept close to each other so they wouldn't lose sight and because it truly was terrifying. Roxas ordered her to hit the floor and together they plunged through the smoke. Roxas let out a yelp when he spotted Sora not ten feet away lying at the foot of the stairs.<p>

Kairi's concern immediately focused on Sora when she saw him just heaped on the floor. She and Roxas crawled across the floor and they each grabbed an arm and pulled. It didn't take long for them to breach the outside with Sora in tow and the fire licking at the sneakers and hissing in their ears.

Before they were even clear of the smouldering garden, their fears were relieved when Sora began kicking and attempting to get his feet under him.

"Guys, Riku, where?" Sora croaked as he stopped trying to get to his feet and just let them drag him to safety.

Roxas sat down on the ground and laid his brother's head on his lap. Without thought, Roxas began threading his fingers through Sora's hair, his hands and lips trembling. In a shaky voice he answered his brother.

"I don't know. Sora, you're such a fucking idiot."

"Sora," Kairi said, crouched close to his face. He looked to her and she brushed his bangs from his eyes as she asked, "Where's Naminé?"

There was a groan behind them that made them all jump and Sora hacked on the air. The three watched Naminé's house collapse and send embers flying into the air. Then the rain started.

* * *

><p>Riku followed Naminé blindly, only becoming ascertained that he was going the right way when he heard a bloodcurdling scream and saw the backdoor fly open to let dull light into the house. The wind was closing the door and fanning the flames close to it. Riku almost made the same mistake Naminé obviously had and retracted his hand from the bloody doorknob and kicked the door open with his foot.<p>

Dreary as the hidden sun was Riku still had to blink in the sudden change of lighting. The cool air also made him pause. His skin felt warm and tight as if the fire had sucked the water from his pores and left his skin tighter. He didn't have to use his eyes or feel along the picket fence to find Naminé, she was moaning on the ground, just audible over the fire. She was hunched over something on the ground, rocking herself slowly with her one hand to her face and her burned hand limp in her lap.

Riku heard the house groan behind them and his heart took flight with the embers in the wind. _Sora, you better be out of there_, he thought before forcing himself to stand next to Naminé.

Save for the crackling of the house and Naminé's subsiding sobs, the backyard was actually peaceful. Visibility was poor because of the smoke but he could see bright flowers and vivacious greenery curling around the yard. The scene was eerie because the flora did persist through the smoke and the late summer frost, perhaps suggesting that Naminé and her family did possess some kind of magic. Now the magic was lost; the garden was silent when there should have been cricket and bird song and loud where there was crying coming from somewhere deep in Naminé's chest. Riku followed the noise through the smoke, the hair rising on his neck.

He stood over Naminé, the smoke lifting from his eyes for a moment as the wind picked up and all the air in his lungs left with it. Riku wanted to close his eyes but something in him made him look and he felt sick. Sick that he had seen and sick that he continued to see _them_.

He heard the house collapse behind them, but he didn't care, his eyes were fixed on Naminé's parents bodies. They were not shown mercy and he guessed the only reason he, Sora and Kairi hadn't seen or heard them was because of their gags and the dense greenery.

There was blood everywhere he looked: on their clothes, coating the grass, in the tears that slipped through Naminé's burnt hands, painting the white roses on her mother's chest. While Naminé wept Riku quietly retched in juniper bushes.

When the rain started Riku was calm enough to start putting himself and Naminé back together. At first she didn't respond to him, just sat wearily in the rain, but once Riku rested a hand on her shoulder she turned to him and buried her face against his legs. At first he slipped lower so she could cry into his shoulder instead of his knees. After several minutes of her sobbing and Riku uncertainly and timorously dragging fingers up her back, he helped her to her feet and they made their way slowly around the house, cutting through Kairi's backyard to the front where hopefully the others were.

As they trudged alongside Kairi's house, Naminé found her voice.

"Please...don't tell anyone about...how they looked," she whispered, flinching as her raw fingers tried to play with her hair. They left dirty, coppery streaks in his blonde hair.

"Okay," Riku said through a tight throat. He probably never would have told even though the image would stay with him forever. Who could do something like that in a peaceful garden to everyday people? He didn't see the point.

"I want everyone to think they died in the fire...for now until I – until I can accept...everything," she said the last word in an strangled whisper.

"You...want to accept this?" he asked, surprised at her calmness. He figured she was in shock considered how dull her eyes looked even with the gleam of tears. If it was him in that situation he would be furious and would want to bring to justice all those that had done _that_ to the people he loved.

"It's all I can do right now. For them," she said sadly and ducked her head.

"Riku!" a scraggly voice called from Kairi's porch.

Riku turned his head and his throat became tight and his eyes prickled in the corners. He didn't care about the mob of people surrounding Naminé's house, he only had eyes for Sora who was scrambling over the railing despite Roxas' protest. Riku forgot the grace and swiftness he had acquired from the King's and Leon's training and stumbled through the bushes to meet Sora.

Sora smelt like ashes and kind of tasted like smoke and he was so exhausted that he just let his knees buckle as he sank into Riku's arms.

* * *

><p>Naminé watched Sora kiss Riku and grab fistfuls of his long silver hair as he pulled them to the ground. A smile tugged at her lips about the same time that a fresh well of tears washed over her red cheeks. Her tears were warmer than the rain and stung her skin with their salt. She felt very alone standing between a crowd and a pair of lovers. The worst thing was that she was alone and the darkness was only beginning to loom. She was terrified yet again, but this time she was probably justified in being so. This wasn't about being the new girl or having to make friends in a new town. This was sad and twisted. Yet now she felt sick of her fear. She wanted to meet her attackers head on instead of standing behind her white picket fence hoping Death couldn't find the gate. How though? How could burned, tear stained, quivering kneed Naminé be strong?<p>

Naminé looked to Sora and Riku. Riku pulled back from Sora and pushed the others damp bangs from his forehead before pressing his cheek against Sora's and holding him there. She saw Sora's knuckles so white from the grip he had on Riku's shirt front but he smiling all the same. Riku was Sora's rock in a stormy sea and Sora was Riku's life that could crawl deeper into his crags and hum in his heart. Sora could survive the sea and Riku could stand erect against the waves, but together they did better. Riku wouldn't let Sora pull his cheek away so Sora let go of Riku's shirt and nested his fingers in Riku's damp hair like branches caught in seaweed.

She needed strength like theirs and she was certain now that Riku had found a way to gather his own. Her and her family had moved when they heard rumbles and they seemed to have luckily just missed the thunderclap only to be caught in the fight the lightening had brought to life.

When Riku caught Naminé staring she looked down at her feet that were slowly sinking into the mud. The fear was still in her and she wondered if she could really stand for herself when all she wanted was to be held.

She had grown cold standing still in the rain so it was a pleasant shock when Kairi draped her arms around her and led her out of the gale.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary: **Riku is now part of the odd goings-on in his hometown and he has confirmed that a war is gradually working towards a peaking point. Sora has noticed some changes in Riku's patterns and he is just as determined as Riku is to save his home town to understand what is breaking between them. Many people made and make mistakes that have and will leave wounds that may become infected and refuse to heal, or ones that will scar over with the help of a friendly hand.

**Themes:** There is some romance between Sora and Riku as well as some mention of Axel/Roxas. Friendship in times when it is needed for strength. Adventure in the discovery of who really is the hero of the story. Angst for young men failing to see the light peeking through their dark actions. Hurt/comfort in the loss of lovers, brothers, beauty and pride. And humour, sometimes dark, for a break in all that drama.

**Author's Note:** Oh there is some drama here, but when one half of the wheel is touching the dirt the other half is rising. I just felt like updating today but my week looks a little busy and the weekend a little grim. I'll try to get something out again this week. Also, I've got a rough estimate for the number of chapters in this; the count is at about 23 including the epilogue. However, I kind of want to add in a couple extra scenes and maybe lengthen the epilogue so there is a possibility the nmber will change. That's all :)

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><p><strong>Ruffled Feathers and a Smooth Tongue<strong>

Naminé protested rather emphatically and colourfully, really only pushing Kairi further into her belief that Naminé needed care and a safe place. Naminé argued that the people who had attacked her were likely to do it again until she was dead so moving in with Kairi was a grave mistake. Kairi and her grandmother persisted, refuting her argument by asking where exactly she planned on going and especially in such an angry and sorry state. Kind as Twilight Town citizens often were, there would be few people willing to take in a stray that would spend her time weeping when alone and howling when pester as she was now.

When the women turned to Riku he felt disgusting in a way that couldn't come from being covered in soot. With crossed arms and a muttering voice he said that if Naminé was a target he could not let her join the orphanage. It might have been different if she was younger but as it was she was old enough to live on her own. He found it hard to swallow when Naminé nodded soberly and said she understood. As an apology he sent word to Aerith to send some clothes and a cot over to Kairi's house for Naminé.

Kairi became even more vehement that Naminé should stay with her after Riku told her she couldn't live at the orphanage. Sora, who had been oddly quiet, spoke when Kairi and Naminé turned to him. He said he didn't really have the rights to tell Naminé to stay with Kairi, but he wouldn't let her leave Twilight Town if there were people after her. After a shared look with Roxas and a peek at Riku's wary expression, Sora offered Naminé a space at their place on the farm.

Riku kept quiet and if he hadn't cared for Naminé he would have shot the idea down. He didn't seem like the only one who wasn't thrilled about the idea. Kairi pulled Naminé close at the suggestion though she agreed that it would be better than Naminé leaving for another town.

To Riku's thinly veiled surprise, Roxas wasn't cheering Sora's idea on. He privately joked that Roxas, had he not been tainted by Axel, would have made a perfect boyfriend for Naminé. He cared for and about her, he gave her confidence and Naminé was a pumice on his rough-and-tumble personality. So why did Roxas look so worried about welcoming her into his house? Riku sighed to himself, _probably because he'd have to cut his time with Axel if he split his room with Naminé_.

After an hour's debate and reasoning with Naminé, she consented to living with Kairi, but she had one condition.

Kairi's grandmother had left the room once she was assured that Naminé had a place to go, leaving the group of friends to sit on the floral cushions of her living room.

Naminé peered into her steaming cup of tea before setting the cup down and turning to Riku. All had been waiting to hear her condition but none had suspected that it had anything to do with Riku. She sat on the edge of the sofa playing twisting her hair with bandaged fingers.

All eyes were trained curiously on her as she said with only the slightest of wavers, "Riku, I want to help with you."

Riku frowned and his answer came out a bit sharper than he meant it to.

"What do you mean?"

"I want to work with you."

"At the orphanage?" he asked, a nervous drumming starting up in his chest. Though he didn't like the idea of the orphanage going up in flames he liked the idea of Naminé dragging his secrets into the open even less at the moment. Her knowing also made him suspicious of her. Few people in Twilight Town knew about the Twilight Town Regiment, though he noticed that less and less people travelled to Hallow Bastion these days.

"No, not that," she said as she nervously twisted her hair. Almost with disgust she tossed the strands aside and stared at him with eyes that were either brimming or blazing. "I want to fight for Twilight Town now."

"What does that even mean?" Sora asked with a frown as he gazed between his two friends. Riku felt guilt nibble little a rat on his heart's strongest chord.

"What do you _think_ it means, Sora?" Roxas said in a strained way that suggested he was holding in anger. Sora deflated with a sigh and now Riku his guilt gave way to suspicion of what the brothers weren't telling him.

Riku was about to ask what Roxas meant, but Naminé curbed the flow of conversation, seeming to fear that her wants would be swept away by a stronger stream of conversation if she didn't speak now.

"I really want to join you, Riku, but I-I'm not sure I could actually fight. But I..." Naminé cleared her throat and stilled her hands and she stared determinedly at him, "But I can help."

"Naminé, I'm not sure about what you're asking," Riku said evasively, worried about how upset the brothers looked. Kairi just seemed to be confused about the situation with the way she turned to look at every speaker and nervously ran fingers through her hair. Her bangs would flick like the aggravated tip of a cat's tail.

"Seriously, Riku, cut the crap," Roxas said, brushed Sora's hand off his shoulder while staring hard up at Riku. "You've pretty much been outed. You've joined the war against the Organization."

"The...what?" Riku asked, his brow furrowing at the name. "Is that the name of Hallow Bastion's regiment?"

"You didn't know they were called that?" Roxas asked, backpedalling on his frustration and looking at Riku with confusion.

"No, but how do _you_ know what they're called?" Riku fired back.

Roxas' cheeks burned bright red and he had to squint at the floor to keep his eyes from searing Riku. Sora wouldn't meet Riku's gaze for long either; he looked sheepish before turning to put a hand on his brother's back.

A switch in Riku's brain _click_ed and a stinging heat quickly filled his gut.

"Axel," Riku said in an icy way that made the brothers flinch.

Naminé looked to Kairi with confusion and frustration.

Kairi could do little more than flick her hair, shrug and say, "Axel is Roxas' boyfriend. He lives in Hallow Bastion. What, Naminé?"

When Kairi had spoken, Naminé's expression became sad and she looked down at her hands.

"Not you too, Nams," Roxas sighed while shooting a derisive look at Riku before he let his shoulders slump. "It's not like that. Axel only joined because he was worried about me. It's not that bad. He's not bad!"

"Roxas, Axel is now one of the people fuelling the war," Riku said with a great deal of self-restraint.

"Man, do you ever sound like Diz when he rags on Naminé," Roxas spat and shook his head when Riku scoffed. "It takes two to tango, Riku."

"Yeah, it does, but Axel's on our enemy's side. The side that _started_ this."

"That doesn't make _him_ our enemy though," Roxas said and pointed across the coffee table to Naminé. "I mean, Naminé's from Hallow Bastion but we're not blaming her; she's not our enemy."

Riku surveyed Naminé for a moment without answering. She tried to look as stoic as possible under Riku's gaze, but her fingers still worked at her hair.

When Riku didn't reply to Roxas right away, a spring of fear shot from his stomach and bloomed in his throat. If Roxas didn't have Riku's approval of Axel then what would happen? Would he try to force him from Axel? _Let him try_, Roxas thought, but what if Sora agreed with Riku? Panic fluttered its wings before his eyes as he looked to his brother. Would Sora leave him for Riku? He was the only family he had. He knew that Sora wouldn't but if the tables were turned Roxas wouldn't leave Sora _or_ Axel.

Sora wasn't looking at either of them, he was watching Naminé, his face becoming more and more lined with stress.

When no one would speak in Axel's defence, Roxas rounded on Riku, spitting out, "You _do_ suspect Naminé, don't you?"

Kairi gasped like she'd been punched in the stomach while Naminé wilted beside her. Sora finally turned from Naminé and said rather wisely for a goofy teenage boy, "Roxas, don't."

Not in the best of moods, Riku folded his arms and leaned against the wall saying, "What if I do?"

"Riku – Roxas, would you both just knock it off?" Sora said firmly from his seat on the couch.

"You don't really, right?" Kairi asked Riku, then put a hand on Naminé's shoulder and said before Riku even had time to think and regret what he had said, "He doesn't really."

"Kairi, it's-" Naminé began, placing her hand over Kairi's but Roxas cut across.

"How can you say that after what just happened?" Roxas said, his fear of persecution and general rage making him sound absolutely disgusted by Riku.

Riku opened his mouth to give an angry retort but Sora got to his feet and planted himself between his brother and his boyfriend. He glared down at Roxas, his little brother turning his head away shamefully, before he turned around to Riku.

"Stop it," Sora ground out, staring hard into Riku's eyes until he turned his face away. Sora looked from Roxas to Riku saying with a snarl attached to keywords, "It feels like there's a _war_ going on in _here_ and I don't think I like any of the sides. Can we just call a truce or something? Oh and let Naminé speak. Gee, even _I_ forgot that she's the one who started this conversation."

Sora ducked his head sheepishly in Naminé's direction. Naminé nodded gratefully and turned to address Riku once again.

Guilt seethed in Riku's stomach when Naminé had trouble smiling at him, but she held back her tears and seemed something best described as optimistic.

"Well, I still want to join Twilight Town's Regiment if, you know, I'm allowed," she said with a nervous smile. She coughed and embarrassedly said, "I'm pretty good at healing people, especially with few materials. And, well, I am from Hallow Bastion so I could – might be able to – to answer some questions."

"That sounds fine," Riku said a little stiffly under Sora's threatening glare. "But just so you know it's not up to me."

Naminé nodded solemnly and said, "I know."

"It's up to Diz, isn't it?" Kairi asked worriedly, finally seeming to find footing in the conversation and she stopped flicking her hair.

"Yeah...and Leon and some other higher-ups," Riku admitted. When Kairi looked at Naminé anxiously and Naminé tried to smile back while her fingers worked nervously on the hem of her dress, Riku said with as much calmness as he could scrap from his shaky emotions, "It won't be too bad. I'll speak up for you. I'll make it a personal mission to get you signed up."

"Thank you, Riku," Naminé said, her smile coming easier now.

Kairi regarded Naminé uneasily, as if she had something to say but in the peeking rays of Naminé's beam she couldn't bear to bring the clouds to douse it.

Roxas stood, fidgeting with the sleeves of his jacket and not meeting anyone's eyes. To the carpet he mumbled, "I have to go now, uh, sorry Naminé."

"It's okay, Roxas," she said, shaking her head. "You've done a lot for me."

"Hey..." Sora began, tentatively reaching his hand out to touch his brother's arm, but stopping himself.

Roxas looked down at his brother and tried to appear annoyed rather than upset that his brother was acting so uncertain around him. They were family; there was no need for Sora to experimentally reach his hand out like he had uncovered Roxas from beneath a rock.

"I know it's late but we don't have school tomorrow," Roxas mumbled.

"No, that's not the motherly advice I wanted to give," Sora said. His words brought a smile to his brother's face. "Just be careful out there."

"Sure and did you want me to wake you when I get in just to tell you I made it home safe?" Roxas teased.

"You're such a brat," Sora said with a laugh, but his cheeks flushed a bit as he said, "Actually if you wouldn't mind."

"I know," Roxas conceded, pausing in his pursuit of the living room's exit to bend and give his brother a hug. So only Sora could hear, Roxas whispered begrudgingly in his ear, "Sorry 'bout the fighting."

"Just...let's not fight between friends, okay?" Sora said, pulling away to say louder and with a meaningful glance in Riku's direction, "Tell Axel I say hi and that he should stop by."

"Yeah, he probably would have today but he was run pretty ragged," Roxas' eyes glowed with amusement as he said, "He pissed someone off today and his higher-ups made him run laps for hours. He's too tired to visit."

"Ha, I doubt that," Sora laughed, "He's just too lazy. He was happy to let the chickens out but wouldn't chase them when they needed to be put away."

The girls smiled fondly at the thought of Sora and Roxas chasing chickens about while Riku tried not to think about Axel, the _Organization_, or any of the things he had learned recently.

Roxas looked over his shoulder at Riku, not exactly angry nor apologetic, as he left the room. Riku sighed and gave Roxas a shrug and a stiff smile as Sora's little brother gave his a teasing smile in apology for their argument. Both boys stared miserably at their feet when they looked away from one another.

"I probably shouldn't stay long either," Riku said and began to rouse himself.

"Yeah, you guys need to get settled in," Sora said to Naminé and Kairi. He got up and stretched his arms, wheezing a little with his yawn. His greatest desire at the moment was to soak in a bath and stay there for hours. He felt dried out and the smoky scent only made him imagine that the stiffness in his bones was from the fire drying and cracking them. But there was someone he needed to talk to first.

Riku was a little irritated by Sora's assuming that they were leaving together. For one, Riku felt like he should see Diz about what had happened tonight and maybe hunt down Leon to see if he would help persuade Diz to let Naminé join. He also needed to talk with Aerith about sending help for Naminé and just check up on her and the children in general. He'd been more like a distant cousin to them rather than a brother.

Then there was that part of him that said he just wanted to be alone, sitting on his bed or standing under the shower's spray to think about what he had seen that day. He wouldn't tell Sora, nor would Sora understand even if he did tell. He didn't want Sora to be a part of that memory. Riku hated how something so vulgar had to be private but he wouldn't want to talk about it anyways. Sora wanted to talk.

Sora slipped a hand into his and Riku had to fight the impulse to pull away, or to bite down hard on his lip, or just get out of there. Saying goodbye felt like it took all night and he couldn't wait to get out the door. The moment they did the cool, fall air soothed him. Like hot medal in cold water his angst fizzled out and holding Sora's hand didn't feel so bad. He still wanted to be alone though and maybe off Kairi's porch and away from the black heap beside them.

"It stopped raining," Sora said, breaking the silence of the street into a million glittery, little fragments. Sora's tone was too bright and the fragments of the street's silence could have been pasted in the sky little stars.

Riku exhaled heavily and in the same breath said, "Yeah."

"Y'know, I don't usually like the rain. I like bright, warm days, but I think that the rain today was kind of like an antidote or Band-Aid for the fire," Sora said as he stared at the rubble, "It just brought some relief and maybe cleaned some things up."

"Yeah, maybe," Riku replied, looking anywhere but at Naminé's house. Why wouldn't Sora move? Were they just going to stand on Kairi's porch until the sun came up? Riku slipped his hand out of Sora's and moved towards the stairs but he wasn't followed. Sora leaned on the railing and peeked out from under the roof to stare wonderingly up at the sky.

"The clouds are gone too," Sora whispered, watching the stars glitter.

Riku moved down one step and took a glance at the sky. The stars were pretty, damn bright for it being a dark day. He couldn't fake interest in them though, even for Sora's sake. He stepped down another step.

"Riku?"

He paused and turned back to Sora who wasn't even looking at him. He was still looking up at the sky and probably only knew Riku had moved because the porch creaked.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Well enough," he replied. Sora turned to look at him with worry heavy eyes, causing Riku to shrug and ask, "Are you?"

"Guess so but, you know, I am a little freaked out and...and worried," Sora looked down at the railing and scratched at the wood with his nails.

"Sora..." Riku's nerves flared at Sora's confession and he wasn't sure what to say or do. Walking up the stairs and wrapping his arms around Sora didn't seem appealing. His back would be cold and his arms were tired. He had been the rock today and now he wanted to sleep and feel like one.

"Riku, what was Naminé so upset about?" Sora asked, put a hand to his throat as he cleared it. Riku froze and he swore if he began breathing again frost would plume from his mouth.

"Her house was on fire. Why do you think she was upset?" Riku said with a strangled laugh.

Sora might have muttered, "Don't," but Riku wasn't sure.

The wind blew and picked up a chill from the rain that still clung to the plants and trees.

"What was in the backyard?" Sora asked, his eyes piercing somewhere near Riku's temple since his face was turned from Sora.

"I...really can't say," Riku murmured vaguely to the mud on his shoes.

"Oh..." Sora said in a small voice and stared wounded at the grass. They stayed quiet for a moment, Riku trying to find something to say or some way to leave that would make them feel okay, and Sora trying to decide whether to be angry or sad.

"Roxas and I have heard more shots in the night. And some in the daytime too," Sora finally said.

Riku stared questioningly at him and Sora kept his eyes on the stars.

"When they sound really close, Roxas and I take turns staying up and watching and listening. I wish we could do more than that, sometimes."

He wished Sora would go back to talking about the rain or sky now, or that he could walk away and they would still be okay.

"I've known Axel was in the Organization for about a week now and that the Organization is at war with Twilight Town for a couple days."

"Sora-"

"I knew that you weren't at the orphanage when you said you were and that you've gone out of Twilight Town when you said you were here," Sora's hands gripped the railing and even with only the pale glow of the moon, Riku could tell his knuckles were white. In a raspy voice that haunted Riku as much as the information, Sora said, "I had to drag Naminé kicking and screaming from her room and tell her she couldn't go find her parents. And I - I blacked out in her house today. Roxas and Kairi found me."

"You didn't get out right away?" Riku asked, fear peaking in his voice.

"I thought I could but Naminé took a lot out of me and the smoke was thicker upstairs, but that's not important right now. Tell me," Sora said with an edge to his voice as he stood up straighter and looked down on Riku, "Is it enough?"

"That you get yourself killed?" Riku fired back, disbelief wobbling his knees and making him feel sicker than he already felt.

"No! Is everything I told you enough to make you tell me what _you_ are doing? What goes on in _your_ life?" Sora questioned. Sora swung viciously around the pillar of Kairi's front porch and stood at the top of the stairs to get a better view of Riku. He spread his hands and asked, "Is it enough? Have I told you enough? What do I need to do?"

"Sora, it's not that simple anymore," he said through gnashed teeth. The day was just draining him of physique and emotion.

"Then what do I need to do?" he asked fervently, descending the stairs and getting as close to Riku's face as possible without touching him. "Huh? What _do_ I need to do? 'Cause if it's for _you_ I'll do it."

The way Sora said 'you' sounded like he was referring to Riku with condescension and a lick of honesty. The glow in Sora's eyes said he loved Riku and the snarl on his lips said Riku was being an idiot. Riku wasn't sure what to think and he kept switching from Sora's angry face to the bodies in the garden, to the smoke and flames and Sora's face again. He really wanted to be alone now. He wouldn't drag Sora into this when it made him feel as wretched and as burned out as Naminé's house.

He was saved from answering by a friendly voice behind him.

"Hey, Riku! Long time no see," Xion said in greeting as she walked up the path to them. She smiled at Sora who backed off his tippy toes and out of Riku's face. "Hey, Sora. I haven't seen you in a bit either."

Sora grinned and said as easily as possible, "Hey, Xion. What do you have there?"

Xion lifted up a large, clumpy bag and said with a sweet smile, "Things for Naminé. I was there when the firefighters came," she paused to survey the boys, concern pulling at the corners of her mouth and eyes. "Are you guys okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine," Riku reassured. Sora bit his lip and turned from Riku while shaking his head. "Did Aerith send you?"

"Oh, no, she didn't," Xion said, startled from her staring at Sora's slipping smile. She giggled sadly as she said, "You know how it is, to lose people you love. I can't imagine how it feels to lose your parents and your home _and_ everything you owned. I'm sure if you were Naminé's size you would give her some of your clothes too."

Sora chuckled, warmth seeping back into him from Xion's blatant kindness. Riku nodded approvingly at Xion.

"Are Kairi and Naminé still awake?" she asked and stood on tippy toes to peek into the lit windows on the ground floor to see if any shadows moved beyond the curtains.

"Probably and I'm sure they would want to see you," Sora encouraged.

"Okay," she said and ascended the stairs. She paused at the top, turning to say goodnight to them and to give them a piece of advice that she would never know was so needed then. "Stay close, okay? Leon keeps saying that we're stronger together."

Sora watched Xion be ushered into the house by Kairi, who seemed surprised to see Riku and Sora still there, but waved to the boys all the same.

The light that spilled from the house faded when Kairi closed the door, leaving Sora and Riku alone in the dark of the quiet street. They looked at one another. Sora seemed to deflate when he realized that Riku was only standing there still because Sora was holding him in his sights. He looked away and Riku made an excuse to leave.

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><p>Naminé had found a pair of pyjamas in the bag of clothing that Xion had brought over and was now huddled on one half of Kairi's bed. Petite she was but every part of her felt heavy as lead. She tried just closing her eyes and hoping sleep would come with all of its wonderful restorative powers, but with every blink she would see her house browning and blackening where the flames ate away the walls, revealing her garden. At first she thought she was awake and recalling the fire but when the plants in her garden became stems of pulsating veins with the faces of her friends for flowers, she knew she had been dreaming.<p>

Kairi wrapped her arms around Naminé's shoulders and whispered, "I'm so sorry."

Apparently she had been crying too and had awoke Kairi. Furtively and fervently Naminé swiped her tears away and rolled over to mutter a thick throated, "Sorry."

"It's fine," Kairi soothed, shifting in the bed to lay her head on her arm and peer curiously at her. She had been awake for a little while, at first stricken by the thought of someone else being in her room and then calming down to a silent worrying over Naminé's trembling. She wasn't sure whether Naminé was awake or not and for an hour she lay silent next to her friend, her own heart aching and eyes beginning to sting. Her uncertainty had given her time to think about what she would say if Naminé was up for a talk.

Naminé's eyes were red rimmed and in the coming of dawn Kairi could see purple shadows under her eyes.

In a whispered voice, Kairi asked, "Are you sure about joining the army?"

Naminé curled her body like a cat and raised her head to ask wide eyed, "Why do you ask?"

"Because you're my friend," Kairi said, leaning her head on her elbow and tucked her hair behind her ears. As the light crept over the horizon and seeped through her blinds she held Naminé's gaze and swept Naminé's blonde hair from her forehead. Kairi smiled and continued, "And because a lot happened yesterday. Maybe your judgement's clouded or you want to do this for the wrong reasons. You could get hurt you know."

"I know but I don't have many choices," Naminé said, her eyes looking far beyond Kairi and even beyond the walls of the bedroom. "I can run again, to another town and hope that they don't bother following me, but...I wouldn't do that on my own anyway. I can try to hide but that would never work. Twilight Town is small and I can't ask for help, I can't do that to anyone else."

"So, you're not doing this for revenge?" she asked slowly.

Naminé shook her head, "No, not really. I – I don't think I have that kind of strength, but, maybe, out of spite. The reason why the Organization is after me is because my parents and I were a family of medics, we would be pretty useful in wartime, and we were becoming useful before we left for a more peaceful town."

Naminé traced a pattern on her pillow with a single finger, frowning gently as she said, "I think Xemnas was afraid that when we left Hallow Bastion we would join Twilight Town's army and give away secrets."

"Sounds like the Organization caused more trouble for themselves by targeting you," Kairi said lightly. She inched her finger across the pillow, coyly hiding it behind a bunched hill of the pillowcase before darting it out to nose Naminé's finger. Naminé laughed and returned the kiss with her own fingertip.

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><p>The screen door closed with a careless <em>bang<em>, reverberated throughout the foyer and was followed by the _clump_ _clump_ of heavy boots on the wood floor. Sora's heart raced as he stood still in the kitchen, a hand sunk to the wrist in the dishwater while the other held a bowl over the sink. He heard the flap of a coat and a grunt of surprise telling him that he had been spotted.

"Sora? What are you doing home so early? It is the weekend, right?" a young man with bright red hair asked as he stood round-eyed surprised in Sora's entrance hall.

"Excuse me but this is _my_ house. Roxas is still sleeping but I think you know where his bedroom is," Sora replied, letting the dish fall in the sink and turning around to share a smirk with the young soldier. Sora took in Axel's uniform without comment. He had seen it on the guy before but only now, after the previous night, did he feel any unease about it. Axel didn't seem to notice and just leered playfully at him. Sora shook his hands dry and quipped, "What are _you_ doing here so early?"

"I had an early shift, hence the uniform. My higher-ups are kind of assholes," Axel said with a shrug as he made himself comfy in the kitchen doorway by leaning up against it, "They let me watch the sun rise on the coldest morning yet _and_ with the coldest of company."

"Larxene?"

"Aw, Roxas talks about my army buddies?" Axel asked, faking sincerity by touching his heart.

"Well, he rags on that one," Sora said. He tried to imagine what the girl would have to be like in order to earn Roxas' dislike as well as laid-back Axel's. Sora pictured her as some kind of animal with more teeth than fur and brains and an attitude like a snake that had been poked with a stick.

"He does?" Axel asked, cocking an eyebrow before nodding affirmatively. "Good boy."

Sora went back to the sink, not really looking forward to doing the dishes, but company had come for Roxas, not for him. Teenage, country boys they may have been but someone needed to scrape the week old dishes clean. Perhaps he should have traded his sponge and cloth for a chisel and hammer.

"You can kick Roxas out of bed, he's slept late enough. Plus," and Sora felt a cold pride in the fact that he could hide his bitterness so well as he said, "you don't have a lot of free time these days, you might as well spend as much time together now. Especially since you came all this way."

"Uh huh," Axel said and watched Sora's back as he sunk his hands into the soapy water.

Sora tried digging with the cloth rather than wiping until he heard the scrape of the kitchen chair's legs on the floor and Axel's luxurious sigh as he plopped down in the seat. Sora turned back around, confused as to why Axel was using the wooden table as a bed when he could be slipping into Roxas'.

"Don't worry, I'll be out of your hair and into Roxas' in a moment," Axel yawned and lifted his face off the table, "I just wanted to see how you were holding up."

"What? Why would you be worried about me?" Sora asked perplexedly.

"Well, A: every time I put on this uniform I remember why I joined the Organization and the danger that you and Roxas are in. And B: Roxas says you've fallen on some tough times, and in light of what happened a couple days ago, I think I can guess why."

"What happened a couple days ago?" Sora repeated. He seriously doubted that Roxas would bring up the fire caused by an Organization member, especially when he had to defend his and Axel's friendship against some of the less understanding Twilight Town civilians.

"That your boyfriend's joined Twilight Town's forces and he kept it a secret. Well, until a couple days ago," Axel said with a sardonic laugh, "I bet finding that out from other people was a bit of a rock in your course of smooth sailing."

Sora's brows furrowed as he replied less than amused, "Yeah, a little bit."

Axel perked up and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he said, "Sorry, man. I'm an ass. Geez, here I am supposed to be checking up on you, not slamming you down."

"It's cool," Sora shrugged and chuckled at Axel's harsh self-reflection.

"No it's not, not really. But in all seriousness, you don't need to stand for that kind of shit. If what someone is doing is bothering you then tell 'em," Axel said while pointing across the table at Sora. Axel eased off and grinned as he said a bit softer, "The closer you are the more important it is to tell him and he would probably take it better too. If Roxas ever had a problem with me I'd want him to say it to my face and not have his brother's friend's lesbian girlfriend bring it up over tea."

Sora laughed and fell back against the kitchen counter, just shaking his head at the boy with the flaming red hair and forked tongue. Axel grinned with him and stood, kicking his chair back into its place.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go wake up Sleeping Beauty. It's not fair that he gets to sleep til noon while I'm awake at the butt crack of day."

Axel turned to leave but Sora spoke up quickly and quite soberly for just coming from a laughing fit.

"Hey, Axel."

"Yo, Sora?"

"What would you do if they refused to talk...even when you bring up the topic?"

Axel paused in the doorway, his hand holding onto the door frame lightly while his eyes scanned over Sora sadly.

"The bastard won't talk to you?"

Sora didn't reply, just shrugged which seemed a good enough kindling for Axel's attitude.

"Keep in mind this is what I would do and your relationship with Riku is your own, but if it was me in your place I wouldn't let him leave my sights until he gave me a good enough answer. It probably won't work too well for you, but I have a habit of standing up as straight as possible and glaring down at whoever I'm squeezing. Something about my height and the mean, little look I have in my eyes just scares the piss out of people."

Sora nodded and then asked with a teasing smile, "Does that work on my brother?"

"Now I see the family resemblance," Axel exclaimed and stuck a finger close to Sora's nose, "You're both cheeky, little imps."

"God, you're slow," Roxas said as he leaned on the railing at the top of the stairs. When Axel turned his face to look up at his prince charming he saw a young man with messy, blond hair and baggy pyjamas. Axel smirked and _tch_ed as he gave Roxas a once over.

"Slow?" Axel asked with his hands on his hips.

"I heard you slam the door coming in. I was waiting for you to come up."

"I was visiting with the family."

"I heard. Sorry, mommy, I didn't know he'd be here this early or that you'd be here this early," Roxas said to Sora.

"Mommy?" Axel asked, a laugh quavering in his voice.

"I'm gonna go finish the dishes," Sora said while backing into the kitchen and waving the other two off.

He had sunk his hands into the ice cold water and still Axel and Roxas remained in the hallway, speaking softly to one another.

"Did you have fun on patrol with Larxene?"

"That's not what I really want to talk about."

"Fine. Are you tired? We could take a nap."

"Yeah, I'm tired but hell if I'm gonna spend my time with you sleeping. Besides, you just woke up."

"You don't want to do that."

"Oh, I really do, babe."

"I just woke up. I haven't brushed my teeth. I've got death breath. Trust me, if you had my mouth you'd feel like you were rotting from the inside out."

"Beautiful! You should be a poet. I'm not so fancy with my words. I make use of my mouth for other things."

It might not have been Sora getting a morning kiss, but he felt his brother's glow and some of his frustration was eaten away by Roxas' happiness and the dawning of Axel's advice.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary: **Riku is now part of the odd goings-on in his hometown and he has confirmed that a war is gradually working towards a peaking point. Sora has noticed some changes in Riku's patterns and he is just as determined as Riku is to save his home town to understand what is breaking between them. Many people made and make mistakes that have and will leave wounds that may become infected and refuse to heal, or ones that will scar over with the help of a friendly hand.

**Themes:** There is some romance between Sora and Riku as well as some mention of Axel/Roxas. Friendship in times when it is needed for strength. Adventure in the discovery of who really is the hero of the story. Angst for young men failing to see the light peeking through their dark actions. Hurt/comfort in the loss of lovers, brothers, beauty and pride. And humour, sometimes dark, for a break in all that drama.

**Author's Note:** I've been sitting here, staring at the screen, trying to think of something to write here, but every thought seems to fit better with a future chapter. So, I'll say the thing that's buzzing in my mind: I. Am. Tired. And some of you can sympathize. So read if your eyes aren't debating whether they should tie your lashes together and if your head it's mistaking the space key for a pillow. Thank you for reading! - False energy, but real enough feeling.

* * *

><p><strong>I Do for You<strong>

Leon and Diz had seemed very tense with one another the night before and the air felt too crisp to chew over Naminé's request, so Riku said that he had someone to introduce at the next meeting. Diz and Leon both seemed approving of his request but were suspicious as to why this person didn't just enlist at the office. Over the past couple weeks the Regiment had seeped from the cracks of Twilight Town and continued to grow out under the sun. They even had uniforms now, though Riku wondered why his hadn't been delivered. Not that he was upset by that; the khaki uniforms with gold little crowns on the breast pockets and caps didn't look that appealing.

The sun wasn't even up yet but it was Diz's rule that if they were to meet it would not be during daylight hours. Riku had gotten to the school early and kept watch from the high, tangled branches of a tree. The leaves had gone and the wind bit and tugged but he felt less exposed and more inconspicuous hidden in the branches.

The Organization's little nobodies could be seen fleeing down alleyways even when the sun shone highest, and they had become more than a nuisance. The ice creamery was closed now with bricks and glass littering its polished floors and many houses around the outskirts turned their lights out as soon as the sun set. Riku didn't think it helped keep the people safe, it was like a child hiding his head under the blankets to protect him from the dark imaginations of the night. Still, if it helped them sleep better then he wouldn't count their precautions as silly. With some of the things he had seen on his unofficial patrols of the town he too was grey around the eyes.

What sounded like the cooing of doves in the early morning was actually Naminé and, Riku wasn't surprised to see, Kairi talking and walking. The girls stood by the school doors, a little left and a lot lower than from where Riku sat.

"It's chilly and it's not even fall officially," Kairi commented, hugging her shoulders and staring about her.

"It's only because the sun's not up yet," Naminé replied in a whisper.

"I hope we don't have to wait that long to get warm," Kairi said lightly.

Riku slipped from the boughs like rain did on the trees leaves and landed with a slight huff near the girls. Both looked surprised and jumped when his feet touched the ground.

"You won't have to wait long but don't expect a warm welcome," Riku said, brushing his pants off and straightening to smirk at the stunned girls.

Naminé blinked a couple times and let a smile seep on to her face.

"I hope that's not lesson one," Naminé said, looking up at the height of the tree, "I haven't climbed a tree since I was eight."

"You really should have grown up with us," Kairi said, smiling fondly at Naminé then turned to give Riku a teasing look. "It's not that impressive when you know the boys have been climbing trees since they were able to walk and _still_ fall out of them. So stop smirking like you just learned how to fly."

"So, should we stand outside and exchange insults?" Riku asked and earned a withering look from Kairi. Riku smirked and turned towards the doors, motioning for the girls to follow, "C'mon, we'll get the worst over with."

"Okay," Naminé said and picked up her pace to walk next to Riku, Kairi followed a bit behind.

While Riku and Naminé slipped inside the school doors, Kairi turned and looked across the school property. She tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear and turned to enter the building.

* * *

><p>If Riku had any doubt that Naminé would be rejected, his worry would grow tenfold by the time he reached the classroom door. Leon and Diz's voices growled inside the classroom and grumbled out into the halls.<p>

Riku motioned for the girls to be quiet and wait while they listened for a moment. Riku didn't dare try to hover too long outside a room swelling with angry men who happened to be quite suspicious about eavesdroppers and even more unforgiving of them. He did want to know if the argument was about the person, or people counting Kairi, Riku was to bring today. The trio came in on Diz concluding his heated retort.

"-this is why it is imperative!"

"I agree that we need to find out more, and I've got people working on it," Leon said, doing pretty well at keeping his voice even.

"I hope not that foolish girl-"

"I work with what I have and only with people I trust. Yuffie does well enough."

"However, she is known to the Organization," Diz countered and Leon answered with a derisive huff. Diz continued on in a calm manner that Riku imagined the old professor had straightened his spine and set his jaw in a displeased frown, "I thought the whole reason we had him trained outside of town and kept him away from others was because we were to use him to find out more."

There was a stiff pause then Leon said in a tight voice, "That was your plan, not mine."

"You knew what my plans were when you brought him-"

"Again, that wasn't my plan," Leon said in a flat tone, "It was his."

Riku, sighing silently, closed his eyes and shook his head slowly. Leon had no reason to worry about him and should let him make his own decisions. Why did he always have to fight Riku on this?

"Is this selfishness, Leon?" Diz asked calmly.

"It's none of your business," he replied and Riku bet that Leon was leaning haughtily against the wall, his glare dead ending Diz. Yet the professor chuckled knowingly in a way that probably set Leon's teeth on edge as much as Riku's. It wasn't Diz's place to pry about Leon's intentions and with the girl's listening he didn't really want Leon to give his reasons. Without Leon even saying a word about why he was doing as he did, Riku's cheeks grew warm and he felt that Leon's reasons were based on their relationship and not logic.

He cleared his throat and motioned for the girls to follow him in.

"Professor, Leon," Riku said, drawing their attention to the doorway. As per usual Leon was propped against the wall near the windows and Diz was seated behind his desk. Riku sidestepped to let the girls in the room. "I've brought guests."

No one seemed to be on the same page emotionally wise for Naminé's introduction. Diz's shock and anger lifted him from his seat and brought his brows together in a harsh line. Kairi came to nervous Naminé's defence with a glare that dared anyone to try to abuse Naminé. Leon gave an amused _hunh_ and turned to look out the window again. Riku felt Leon's amusement in his own smirk but high strung emotions pumped through his body making his motions sharper than usual. He was going to speak but Diz beat him to it.

"What have you done?" he barked, his hands clamped to the edge of his desk and shoulders hunched as if in preparation for a bowling wave.

Again Riku made to speak but Diz cut him off.

"Time and time again I have warned you about _her_. Do you think this is some kind of play? You just decide to bring in a double-crosser to see how things will play out? Fool."

"Do I get a turn to talk now?" Riku hissed, his hackles up after the verbal swipes he had taken.

"I ought not to even listen-"

"But you will," Riku interjected. Diz gave him a leering look and Riku, remembering his place, said with a curt nod, "You should."

Riku stepped forward into the central part of the room with all eyes trained on him, even Leon giving him a glance.

"Naminé's not asking to be trusted right away, but she does want to help and she can," Riku said, gesturing in Naminé's direction and looking to Diz with a challenge in his eyes. "She-"

Riku's voice was taken by surprise when he felt someone brush against his elbow. Naminé had her hand on his arm and gave him a wordless thank you with a blink of her pretty eyes. She turned to look at Diz, whose angry face twisted to like an old knotted tree. She turned to Leon as well, wary of being attacked on both sides. Leon didn't seem too threatening as he was more interested in opening the window and settling against the wall to look out onto the school grounds. Naminé spoke.

"Professor, I - I understand why you're suspicious of me. I would be too given how the towns are right now. And maybe Riku is being too kind," Naminé said with a quick, warm smile at him. Riku blushed and turned away from her thankful stare. Leon gave a small, closed-mouth laugh, and Riku's blush deepened. Naminé, _the white witch_, Riku thought scathingly, seemed to draw strength from his embarrassment and continued in a surer voice, "But I can help. I have experience with caring for the injured and I kind of know what wartime practices are like. I-"

"We have medics already," Diz said deftly and turned his face to the side. Naminé stuttered to a stop and Riku _tch_ed from the side of his mouth.

"We need more medics," Leon logically supplied.

"We need medics we can _trust_," Diz argued and Leon just shrugged, not seeming to root for either Naminé or Diz's side.

Diz turned back to Naminé whose brows furrowed as she tried to stare neutrally at Diz. The professor merely dismissed Naminé's attempt at resolution and said with a little condescension, "Not to mention you drabble in herbal remedies, not sewing stitches or modern medicine. You have no stores of herbs. Your shop was burned down as well as your house. What would you practice with?"

"The garden at my house is still alive," Naminé said a little falteringly and Riku cringed inwardly with her. He didn't want to go back to the sad little garden even if the smoke had blown away nights ago and the blood drained deep into the grass. She swallowed and said tentatively, "And there is a store that sells what I would probably need in – in Hallow Bastion."

"Where the merchant would supply you with plants and you pay him in information," Diz said with a disgusted sigh and put a wrinkled hand to his forehead.

Naminé's lips parted, but she hung her head and didn't bother looking to Riku for help, which was probably for the best. She might have seen a quick flicker of agreement flash in Riku's eyes like the glint of light from a swiftly passing bicycle or the flick of a fish's silver tail in a river.

"Yeah, right after the witch-hunters prepare a stake," Kairi seethed and surprised everyone except perhaps Leon who just smirked out the window. All eyes to turn to her corner of the room.

She moved to Naminé's side much like she had the first day of class, brushing elbows with her friend and giving Diz a defiant look.

"First of all, if she was a spy she would have just given herself away," she argued while using her fingers to mark off what she was saying as Diz watched, a little bemused by her tenacity. "Secondly, the Hallow Bastion people have tried to kill her twice now. And lastly, what does she really have to tell?"

"If she were to join us she would find something to tell," Diz said warningly.

Kairi had no good rebuttal, except to mutter how he had conveniently skipped over her other arguments.

"She would be in the medics corps, not the intelligence division," Riku offered after a pause where everyone, with the exception of Leon and meek Naminé, stood with raised hackles and eyes glaring stubbornly at the floor. Riku's interrupting sounded like the grinding of rusted metal to him. He cleared his throat and continued, "Not that the medical officers' are ear plugged and blindfolded, but I think the issue of trust would come down to the officers Naminé will work around."

"That she _may_ work alongside," Diz corrected, ever the educator.

"No," Riku said, a smirk curling his lips as he said, "it might just be a feeling, but I think she'll be joining. Leon gets final say, right? He's the one who will be leading her, right?"

All eyes shifted to Leon who reluctantly turned from his post at the window and met Riku's gaze. Riku wore the same determined look as he had when he pushed his way into the Twilight Town Regiment. Leon turned to Naminé, the girl met his gaze with honest eyes even if her spine was a little bent.

"Are you willing to learn other medical techniques?" he asked her.

"Yes."

"And you won't leak information to our enemies?"

"I won't."

"She's good enough," Leon said, turned back to the window where the breeze gently swished his hair. "I'll put her through our paces."

Diz stared at Leon while Riku watched the gears in his professor's eyes clank slowly. As if his spine ached, Diz lowered himself bit by bit into his chair. Delicately and in an insinuating tone he asked, "Do you trust her on her own, Leon? You cannot expect to always be in her presence."

"That's not really a fair argument," Riku said, cutting off Leon, "No one is monitored twenty four seven and anyone could betray us. It might be scary to think about but I think we're all old enough to handle the truth."

"Riku, we're all allies," Leon said calmly to the young man before giving Naminé a searching look. Finally he said while still holding Naminé's sincere gaze, "I don't trust her yet."

"Would you trust her if I joined and stuck by her?" Kairi asked, a sharpness to her voice and determination in her eyes as she raised her hand in a gesture of something like a promise.

"Kairi, you shouldn't have to," Naminé whispered.

"And you shouldn't just make up your mind on the spot," Riku said, eyes widening at her offer.

"I know and I'm not," she said to each of her friends, a smile stretching her lips. "I've been thinking about this since Naminé made up her mind. At first I thought you were both idiots, just asking to be targets, but...then I thought about all that had happened to Naminé and others around town. None of them did anything to be targeted but they were still attacked. I'm not going to be left out of this one, so don't try to leave me behind while you're off on your own. I'm coming too."

Kairi rounded on their professor and with a challenge in her tone she asked, "Are you satisfied with this?"

"I have little choice in the matter, it seems," Diz replied, "but I feel I can trust you more than her, despite your blind attachment and loyalty."

Kairi just nodded with her lips pressed together tightly. Had Riku been in her position with one of his best friend's trust on trial he wouldn't have been able to hold his tongue. He thought of Diz questioning Sora's integrity. He began to grind his teeth and had to stop his imagination before he developed a grudge against his teacher. There was also a bit of pain to his thoughts of his boyfriend, if they were still together. He kept telling himself and others that he didn't have the time to hang out with anyone, including Sora. No one questioned him because he was blatantly honest whenever he could be. Truthfully, he had been busy but also avoiding Sora. He felt like he needed to apologize to him but he needed better words than 'I'm sorry' and he couldn't come up with any.

Leon straightened up and spoke while everyone else was either shooting glares at one another or staring awkwardly about them when being glared at.

"There's nothing else to do here today. Kairi and Naminé, go enlist at the office when the sun comes up."

The girls nodded and walked out of the room, leaning their heads close together to whisper plans as they entered the hallway. Diz watched them go and waited until he heard the school's front doors creak open and bang closed before he turned to Riku.

Anticipating a lecture, Riku huffed, "Yeah, I know, you're not very happy with me."

Diz laughed deep in his throat and said, "Perhaps, but I've been bested and beaten so there's no point in begrudging you now. There is something else I wish to speak to you about, but first, Leon? Would you close the window? I wouldn't want anyone overhearing this."

"I've been keeping watch and the King's guards have been patrolling the area," Leon said but closed the window all the same.

"And if you don't mind," Leon said, giving Diz a meaningful look, "I would like to speak to Riku first."

Diz nodded and spoke as if he shared a chord in Leon's heart and felt the vibrations of that chord in his own chest.

"Of course. I shall wait in the room opposite."

Diz exited his classroom, closing the door noiselessly, and leaving the two young men to stand silently and, in Riku's opinion, awkwardly in the dim room.

Leon looked Riku over while Riku simply stood in the centre of the room. The early morning light was dim and the room so quiet and chilly. Leon straightened against the wall and they took another silent moment to size each other up. Riku had learned over the years that trying to get Leon to hurry up and say what was on his mind was as impossible as teaching a rock to sing. Aerith had been the one to sing lullabies, but Leon would never utter Rock-a-bye baby.

Leon didn't even blink as he said, "Diz is about to ask you to join the Organization."

"What?" Riku asked, his heart taking off and his mind sputtering on the floor of his skull.

"To go undercover," Leon elaborated.

"Oh, to 'find out more'," Riku quoted. He smirked as Leon gave him an unimpressed look for admitting to his eavesdropping.

"Diz will explain your duties if you choose to," he said, pausing before saying ominously, "I'm to explain the consequences."

"Wouldn't it make more sense to tell me the consequences after I find out what I might be doing?"

"Yes, except that if you go undercover I won't speak to you anymore," Leon said stoically from his place at the wall while Riku's eyes widened and a rushing noise filled his ears.

He was upset but he didn't know whether he was feeling unbelieving, sad or furious. His emotions mixed to a murky cloud that veiled his reason.

"Don't tell me you're _that_ spiteful," Riku jeered, eyes narrowing when Leon didn't move or even look a little upset.

"I'm not, though I don't like the idea of you doing this. That's off topic though-"

"Then go off topic," Riku challenged, "Tell me why you don't want me to do this if you think it's such a mistake."

Leon studied him for a moment, or maybe he was thinking to himself, for after a long pause he contemplatively said, "I don't want you to do this because it's not the life I wanted my little brother to have."

He realized how bunched his shoulders were when his arms when limp and his hand flattened from its fist along his thigh. The heat dripped out of his face and pooled in his heart until it reached the brim and almost spilt over. He hadn't expected Leon to say that. Ever.

"I didn't exactly have a choice to join Twilight Town's fight, or enter, ha...more like _start_ the regiment. Diz told me all he knew about Xemnas and his hostile plans and then asked me to help him. I'm okay with it because I had a lot of years, well,_ some_ years to live how I wanted and to find out what I wanted. In some ways I think we want the same things, Riku, but from different people and in slightly different ways," Leon turned his face from Riku and looked over his shoulder at the grounds outside. Grey settled in the premature lines and scar on his face and somehow that sight made Riku's throat go dry. "I want the family that I have to be safe. That's why I've stuck with Diz. I get done what the others can't.

"If you do as Diz has planned I won't even know if you're happy. You'll join Xemnas and take on another identity, one that isn't my brother and doesn't live here, and doesn't have your friends," Leon looked regretful as he said, "You'll trade yourself for the chance that we might have a bit more strength against the Organization. It would be tough for anyone and impossible for some to leave their friends for a year, maybe more, maybe less."

Riku's head lowered with the heavy weight of Leon's words. He felt like he had been suddenly awoken and his body was still asleep. His limbs were sodden branches in a river, barely bobbing in the sunlight as they floated in a current that he had no clue where its end was. It was funny how clear the past looked now that a ripple scattered the surface. He had lost almost a month's worth of afternoons after school, sleepless nights and early morning awakenings with his friends but most of his regret tilted Sora's way.

"So...what you're saying is I would have to leave everything that has anything to do with me for...I would have to leave Sora," Riku mused, the words coming out in a whisper. He chuckled darkly at how he had wished Sora would have just left him that night of the fire and how he wanted to use all the skills he had traded his time for to get as fast as possible to Sora. Why couldn't Diz teach his how to fly, give him wings and he could find a way to stop the Organization before the last leaf of fall fell. He put a hand to his face as he laughed at himself and choked out in the gasps he should have been using to take in air. "Everything I want...I have to leave...life just can't get any better."

Riku stopped his gargled laughter when a hand fell on his shoulder and squeezed some sense into him. For a moment Riku leaned forward and Leon pulled his head to rest against his chest. Riku felt like a child again, though he didn't really remember ever burying his face in his big brother's arms. Maybe he had because he felt calm and safe now as a young man, and old boy. It would be so easy to let Leon just take on Diz's tasks and spend his days holding Sora in his arms. _Like that's enough_, he said bitterly to himself. He pulled back from Leon, cleared his throat as he looked over his shoulder, scratched the corners of his eyes as he did so.

"Riku," Leon said as he walked past him and headed out the classroom door, "no matter what you choose I am proud of you. As I'm sure you're friends are."

"Huh, and here I always looked up to you for your toughness and you're nothing but fluff," Riku said and turned his back on Leon with a _tch_. He sucked his bottom lip in with a subtle hiss to get rid of his frown.

Leon laughed and his final words to Riku were, "We'll meet again, somewhere."

Riku took until the grey light became silvery to weigh things in his mind, though his heart ached through the whole process and gave away what he knew the ending would be. The only window with its blinds rolled up was the one Leon had been looking out of. He moved closer to it and rested his hands on the sill. There was a slight breeze grazing his knuckles like a ghostly hand trying to tempt him outside where the sun was turning the clouds gold and pink.

Riku exited his classroom and entered the one across the hall where Diz waited. The other classroom looked the same as the one he had left except that everything was backwards, like being the reflection looking out of the mirror. That was fine, he could deal.

* * *

><p>Sora sat beneath the shade of a tree, his head resting on his knees dolefully and his arms wrapped about his calves. He had planned and done well, waiting in shadows and slipping into bushes to avoid being caught, but the sadness in him wrestled with his flapping hope and the fighting just drained him of energy and thought. It shouldn't have been a surprise that he was ambushed from both sides while sitting out in the open. He could have at least moved away from the window.<p>

Sora was flattened to the ground and even if he wanted to call for help he couldn't have with the air whooshing out of his lungs. Whoever these guys were, they were good.

"Goofy, get off of me you great lump!" Donald protested, thrashing his arms and cuffing Sora around the ears.

"Ow! Stop it! Fine, I give in," Sora shouted. There was little point in actually giving up since he was able to roll out from under the guards. He crouched in the grass a couple feet away while the two guards squabbled. A smile slipped onto his face and some of his darker feelings crept out as he watched these guys. He could probably run away and wouldn't be missed, but what if they had something nasty waiting in the shadows that the sun hadn't illuminated yet.

"Gee, Donald, I'm sorry," the taller guard, Goofy, said as he pulled himself to his feet and put about three feet of distance between his head and Donald's stubby arms. He smiled as he said bashfully, "Guess I just got too excited when you gave the signal to attack."

"Just watch where you're – hey! Where do you think _you're_ goin'?" Donald asked as he froze Sora in a glare.

"Uh," Sora had decided to chance a break, but both guards were on their feet and had hooked their arms through his in a matter of seconds.

"You're comin' with us," Donald squawked, his looped arm pulling Sora down on one side while Goofy's pulled him up. Sora hoped they didn't have far to walk.

The school property felt unfamiliar at near dawn. He had never been to school this early but it wasn't just the light that was different. A fog hung about the bases of the trees and the little bit of light that peeped over the horizon cast the shadows in ways opposite than what he was used to. There were also tons of birds singing and he wondered how he had managed to hear all that was said in the classroom so clearly.

He wasn't that surprised to see Leon waiting at the front of the school, watching the three of them hobble and lurch in their six-legged stroll through the grounds. He was worried though because he was sure that Leon had looked him directly in the eye as he crouched in the shrubs outside the school window.

Goofy used his free arm to wave as he called to Leon, "Leon! Lookie here, we caught a spy."

Leon nodded his commemoration and said, "Good. You can let him go now."

"What?" Donald exclaimed, unhooking himself from Sora because he threw his arms up angrily while Goofy just let him slip away.

"I don't think Sora's here to spy on Twilight Town's forces," Leon said as he looked to a blushing Sora who shook his head.

"But he was outside the room, listening from the bushes," Donald said as he gave Sora a suspicious look and received a formidable one in return. "It seems mighty suspicious to me."

"Well, I was listening-"

"Ah _ha_!"

"-but not for information on you guys," Sora said, rounding on Donald with his hands on his hips. The short guard balked and hopped back a step. Sora turned back to Leon and said honestly and plaintively, "I just wanted to make sure Naminé was okay and, well, make sure Riku wasn't getting into trouble...I haven't been able to talk to him in a while. It's frustrating how he...and I just can't, even if I _should_..."

"So you were worried about him?" Leon asked and Sora nodded.

Sora rubbed the back of his hair awkwardly, not quite sure if he was allowed to ask questions or if Leon was planning on punishing him. Well, if he was in trouble now then he might as well make sure his coffin was airtight.

"So, is Riku going to go undercover?"

Donald and Goofy startled and made noises of protest as they moved to cover Sora's mouth. Leon watched amusedly as the three stumbled and Sora batted them off.

"I don't know," Leon said with a shrug, "but either way he won't say."

Sora's shoulders slumped as his heart deflated and he murmured to his shoes, "Oh, yeah."

"Gorsh, don't look so down," Goofy said, patting Sora's shoulders.

"Yeah, frowning won't help," Donald added, giving him a stern look.

"I know," Sora said with a weak smile and sighed, "but I don't know what _will_ help."

"What is it that you want, Sora?" Leon asked.

The group watched Sora's fingers clench and unclench as the boy stared past his hands for an answer. The dew on the grass wasn't all that helpful but it glimmered in the scant light.

"I want this all to end," Sora finally said, "I want all this fighting and secrets and fear to just go away."

Donald and Goofy seemed to like this idea as they smiled and murmured words of agreement. Sora looked to Leon who was grinning and slowly shaking his head.

"That's what everyone wants and is working toward finding a solution. Do you have one?" Leon asked.

Sora's head drooped in response and he didn't bother replying any more than that. He knew he had been asking for too much, but he thought it would be selfish and childish to ask how to protect Riku or, even more selfishly, to ask how to get Riku out of his current situation.

"Sora, think about what you want the most. You're more likely to find an answer for one part instead of the whole," Leon suggested.

"Why do you get to ask all the questions?" Sora joked through the tension his body felt. As he laughed he thought his muscles might snap like strings on a tightly strung instrument. "It's so much easier to come up with questions."

"Because," Leon said as pokerfaced as ever, "I'm not the one in love with Riku."

Sora blushed and scratched the back of his head as Donald and Goofy cooed their approval. He gave them an annoyed look with his hands on his hips and earned a series of snickers behind their hands.

"Think about what you want," Leon said and began to walk towards the steps leading down from the school. "We still have time."

"Time?"

"Before the war truly starts," Leon replied and began to descend the steps.

His words brought a hollow feeling to Sora's stomach. He supposed that most of the fighting was being done in the woods near his home, but nothing too noticeable had changed. The trees hadn't been reduced to ashes or the meadows into trenches. Maybe things wouldn't get that bad.

"You should leave before Riku finishes his conversation with Diz," Leon advised Sora and said conspiratorially to the guards, "And I don't think anyone needs to know Sora was here."

"Don't worry. You can count on us to keep it a secret," Donald said with a wink to Leon.

"Yup! Donald and I are both suckers for hidden romance," Goofy laughed as both Sora and Donald gave him sour looks for his insinuations.

Leon continued down the steps only to pause at the bottom as Sora called his name from the top.

"Hey, Leon! Don't you think I should ask you some questions too?"

"Why?" Leon asked as he gazed up at the young man who had a stupid grin on his face and a teasing gleam to his eye.

"Well aren't you doing all this for your 'little brother's' happiness? Doesn't that mean you love him too?"

Leon turned away with an amused huff.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary: **Riku is now part of the odd goings-on in his hometown and he has confirmed that a war is gradually working towards a peaking point. Sora has noticed some changes in Riku's patterns and he is just as determined as Riku is to save his home town to understand what is breaking between them. Many people made and make mistakes that have and will leave wounds that may become infected and refuse to heal, or ones that will scar over with the help of a friendly hand.

**Themes:** There is some romance between Sora and Riku as well as some mention of Axel/Roxas. Friendship in times when it is needed for strength. Adventure in the discovery of who really is the hero of the story. Angst for young men failing to see the light peeking through their dark actions. Hurt/comfort in the loss of lovers, brothers, beauty and pride. And humour, sometimes dark, for a break in all that drama.

**Author's Note:** I love Florence (the place and the band, but I'm mainly talking about the band). If you have read _Hero_ then you will probably recognize parts of this part. In fact, if you continue to read past this part to other future-unreleased parts you will probably recognize a lot more.

* * *

><p><strong>Rabbit Heart<strong>

By the time Sora got back to his house the sun had faded the night to clear-skies blue. Roxas was eating in the kitchen and looked up as Sora kicked off his shoes. He had hoped that his little brother would still be asleep so he wouldn't have to explain why he was entering the house early in the morning only to go back to sleep. His luck seemed to have died when Donald and Goofy ambushed him earlier that day. And here was an early risen Roxas to write the legacy of his luck on a headstone.

"Hey, where have you been?" Roxas asked, a yawn stretching his greeting by four extra syllables.

"Uh, just checking on the chickens," Sora lied, rubbing his eyes and stifling his own yawn, "I, uh, heard them making noise last night so I thought maybe they had gotten out? Or a fox had gotten in?"

"Oh, I didn't hear them. Were they okay?"

"Oh, yeah. They're fine."

Roxas stared at his brother as he slouched in the little, wooden chair. Sora hung from the doorframe of the kitchen like a single hinged door. He kept his eyes fixed on his feet and spoke with little emotion. Roxas pushed his chair back from the table and stood before Sora with his arms crossed.

"Hey, are you feeling okay, Sora?" Roxas asked, sneaking a hand under his brother's bangs to feel his forehead. Sora didn't feel warm but he pressed into Roxas' touch wearily. He grunted in surprise as he asked, "Sora? What's wrong?"

"Can I tell you later...maybe?" he asked as he closed his eyes. His mind used the inside of his eyelids as a screen to project onto and he saw pale images of Riku's back as his friend followed the setting sun.

"Sure. You tired, man? Or are you feeling sick?"

Sora shook his head and fell farther forward to wrap his arms around Roxas and rest his chin on his brother's shoulder.

"I'm sick and tired," Sora laughed.

"Of what?"

"We'll talk later, right?" Sora reminded him.

"Yeah, you said that. Right."

Sora pulled back from his brother after a brief squeeze and headed up the stairs. He was conscious of Roxas' eyes following him through the spaces in the banister. Whether Roxas was worried or wondering Sora didn't know. Sora didn't even know if he was upset or if he was actually tired too. No matter what the sickness, bed seemed like the best remedy.

He didn't bother changing clothes and didn't regret it when the morning light faded out.

* * *

><p>Maybe he was sick, he kept zoning in and out as well as dragging dreams into the real world or so he thought. Sora heard voices down the stairs but rolled over and kept sleeping. What he thought was hours later was probably only seconds because he heard voices again, unless the first time had been a dream. He dreamed that he lifted his head to see if the people were at his bedroom yet, but he saw only sound waves that shimmered in the air in the doorway. One pulsed red with snippy sentences while the other throbbed blue between the red sound wave's barbs. They sounded familiar and it made Sora twitch and roll in his sleep.<p>

"Stop moving," someone murmured close to his ear. The voice and the command reminded him of summer nights somehow.

Either the voice was a dream that was on the borderline of reality or the words had been real, but Sora's mind was jarred and his body fell back into an easy doze.

* * *

><p>"See? I'm not disturbing him. Would you go away now? It's creepy to have you watching," Riku hissed under his breath. He sat on the edge of Sora's bed, listening to Sora breathe deeply and ready to sprawl out next to him as soon as Roxas walked away. He didn't even want to touch Sora with Roxas' eagle eyes glaring at them.<p>

The moment he had hesitantly knocked on the farmhouse's screen door he'd been greeted by Roxas' suspicion and miserable attitude. The blond boy had crossed his arms and stood on the other side of the door frowning and waiting for Riku to say something. "I'm here to see Sora," only made Roxas look down at his feet and bite his lip. Riku understood what Roxas' gnashing teeth wouldn't let slip from his mouth, and he would have left except that he needed to speak to Sora.

He felt bad forcing his way in, but if it came down to that he knew he had a couple years and several more pounds on Roxas. It didn't come to that but Roxas dogged him and grilled him in the ten seconds it took for Riku to take off his shoes and climb the stairs. Roxas' bitter whispers stopped when Riku gently eased open Sora's door and settled himself down onto the mattress, but still the boy remained at the door. He had known Roxas all the ten or so years he had known Sora and Roxas definitely had a place in his heart, but all Riku wanted was for Roxas to get out of his hair.

Roxas continued to watch Riku even after he had told him to leave, and honestly he didn't want to watch his brother and boyfriend sleep. In the summer it wouldn't have been an irregularity to see Riku at the breakfast table, but it was rare now to see the silver haired bastard even look at Sora when they sat next to each other in class. He really didn't want to let Riku in, and not just because of Riku's open animosity towards Organization members. Riku deserved a little grief over the worry that his absence had given Sora. He deserved at least two more glares for bringing his I'm-not-fond-of-Axel attitude into the farmhouse. The grim look pathetically plastered on Riku's face as he stood on their porch made Roxas bend. Riku said he needed to see Sora and Roxas believed him, he just didn't want all the negativity that seemed to be attracted to Riku's presence. Roxas thought of Riku as a less benevolent brother and had a warm chamber in his heart prepared for him. Unfortunately Riku had decided to walk out of the chamber and disappear for a couple weeks. Like hell Roxas would keep the place bright and free of cobwebs for whenever he decided to visit. That and Riku had done some damage to the chamber last time he left; not even a brother had the right to blame Axel for all the fear and anger prowling the streets of Twilight Town.

Riku was stone and his deep murmur stilled Sora.

Roxas cleared his throat and asked, "So, if you're not here to bug my brother but you do want to talk to him, then I don't get why you can't just wait until tomorrow. You'll see him in class and, if you have the time, you can stick around after school. Sora's not doing too well but he'll go to class tomorrow, probably."

"I can't tomorrow," Riku muttered, still looking down at Sora and denying Roxas' physical existence. "I don't plan on being in class tomorrow, but I may drop by after school for a couple more minutes. I just need to see him today."

"Military shit?" Roxas asked, folding his arms tighter and ramming his toes into the floor.

"Sure, military shit," Riku echoed with a hollow laugh.

"You know, Sora wants to help you," Roxas said, his words dead ended and solved their problems as much as Riku's aloofness solved the war.

"I know but I don't want him to. Especially now with the way things are."

"Yeah? What's that mean? How are things now?" Roxas asked and he stopped trying to drive his toes through the floor and looked at Riku with curiosity and less hostility.

"Bad but it's hard to explain," Riku said a little hoarsely, his one hand dug into the bed. "Nothing catastrophic has happened, there aren't dead bodies piled up in the streets and it's not like houses have been levelled or anything like that. It's more like little things build up. Shops' windows are broken, trash cans might be lit and rolled onto people's lawns, but it's nerve-racking."

"I'll bet," Roxas murmured from the door way, his posture eased up with the gravelly infliction in Riku's voice. He had wondered, along with Sora, what Riku had been doing the past couple weeks. The brothers had noticed the boarded up shops and all the houses with their curtains drawn, but they didn't see the people these things affected, but it looked as if Riku did.

Maybe it was just the lighting or the fact that Riku was talking, but the Twilight Town soldier appeared worn. A trick of the shadows or maybe a fancy, but his silver hair now looked grey and lanky and his eyes looked like they were framed by puckered, purple lips and the whites didn't look as bright.

Roxas was about to ask if Riku was feeling okay but the other boy seemed to be steeling himself to speak again.

Riku tried to keep a strict inner wall around some of the more terrifying things he had seen but the gates had opened a fraction. It was selfish but he was glad Sora was sleeping peacefully at his side while he spoke.

"Worse things are starting to happen. I'll find bullet casings outside houses now when I'm patrolling or you'll see stains on the walls and you don't know how they got there. One day, early morning, I was just walking around and this woman came out of her house. She was crying and said she needed help. She was home alone and couldn't do it on her own. Her husband was pretty heavy and he had tied it pretty tight. She didn't want to just drop him so I had to help her," Riku's voice died off when Sora rolled in his sleep and his face rested on Riku's hand. He chuckled in his throat at Sora and turned to Roxas who had stopped fidgeting completely and was staring wide-eyed at him. Riku tried to say 'sorry' or 'what are you looking at' but it came out in a dry huff.

"Riku, are you okay?" Roxas asked. He wasn't really sure what else to ask. He knew about the vandals but these other happenings he had no clue about. How could he know when he and Sora raced home every day now that Twilight Town's streets had been reduced to the Organization's little nobodies' slum. Honestly the farmhouse wasn't any safer when they could hear fighting and see the trees quiver from the upper windows. Sora had mentioned idly as they stood in the father's old room that he felt like the war didn't feel real. He said it all felt like fantasy and as they watched trees shake in the distance he said it felt like they were in a castle watching a couple giants shake the woods. Roxas said that description sounded airy-fairy but he agreed that the war didn't feel real yet.

"Of course. I'm not the victim," Riku muttered as he scratched at Sora's ear.

"A big part of me kind of thinks you are," Roxas fired back, his brows furrowing slightly when Riku just shook his head. "Who have you told?"

"Don't tell Sora," Riku said, turning away from Roxas to look down at his boyfriend.

"So no one then," Roxas pressed and blew hot air out his nose. "And you're going to disappear soon."

"What makes you think that?" Riku asked sharply and visibly tensed.

"I'm not spying on you, you gave yourself away," Roxas whispered defensively, "You wanted to see Sora so bad and needed to suddenly _actually_ tell him something about what's going on in your life, and it can't wait until tomorrow. Either this information is burning a hole in your throat or you're gonna be around even less than you already are."

Riku gave Roxas a quick, irked look in response. Roxas shrugged and pushed off the doorframe to head towards the stairs.

"I'll leave you guys alone today," Roxas said, looking back over his shoulder. "I'll be out so just let Sora know when he wakes up."

"Are you going to see Axel?" Riku asked.

"That shouldn't be your problem," Roxas whispered waspishly.

"It isn't unless you tell him about what's going on in Twilight Town," Riku whispered harshly. His voice became sad as he added, "Or anything you know about me."

"I know that," Roxas said in a strained whisper. He jabbed his index finger against his chest and felt his heart thump indignantly as he said, "I'm not with Axel because he's seducing me for secrets."

Riku took a deep breath and tried not to sound too reprimanding as he said, "Roxas, you can never know what someone else is thinking."

If Riku had thought a calm manner and a placating tone would drill through Roxas' pride and loyalty, he was sorely wrong. Roxas swelled and Riku had a moment to actually see his own words lashing back at him like a ball bouncing off a wall and at him just before Roxas spoke.

"That why you don't talk to Sora?" Roxas snapped and maybe a little too loudly since Sora twitched. Roxas held his breath and Sora didn't rouse.

Riku waited a moment before replying just to make sure Sora was deep in sleep again. Waking up to his brother and boyfriend arguing wouldn't brighten Sora's day.

"No, it's just that...things aren't that simple," Riku said with a great amount of frustration in his voice and sadness in his eyes. "I want to help my home town and, selfish it may be, but I want to make sure Sora and you are safe too."

"Then why can't you understand that that's exactly what Axel wants?" Roxas said gloomily. "He joined because he thinks I'm in trouble and because he was scared that he couldn't handle this on his own. I wish you guys could have just talked to us and we all could have went away, gotten out of this place."

"It's really not that simple," Riku replied sadly.

Roxas sighed and continued for the stairs, hissing over his shoulder, "You and Axel are both idiots about this stuff."

* * *

><p>It was a little after noon when Sora rolled over to look at the clock that probably hadn't been wound in a couple days. But the clock's wasn't the only face he saw when he rubbed his eyes open. Stretched on one half of his bed, spilling over the side a bit because Sora wasn't a sharing host when dreaming, was Riku sleeping silently. Riku must have drawn the blinds for the room was nearly dark with the exception of the bands of early fall light striping Riku's face. Sora thought the light made him look more exhausted as it illuminated the purple skin under his eyes and drew imaginary age lines and hollows on his cheeks. This surreal sight of him coupled with the surprise of finding his estranged boyfriend inexplicably in his bed pulled Sora's lips into a deep frown and he curled his arm around his head.<p>

He had a right to feel angry and he _should_ have felt angry. There were a lot of things he _should _have done; he _should_ have woken Riku up, he _should_ have put his heel on the small of Riku's back and _pushed_, then he should have said "How dare you just visit like _this_" and then he should have used the same heel to kick Riku down the stairs and out the door before the sleep had even left his dopey green eyes. But his body was heavy with sadness after what he had heard Riku discussing with Leon that day and he really should learnt to hold a grudge.

He had shared the raw and shaky pain in Riku as he had realized that the people he loved, his brothers and sisters, his friends and Sora, he would be disappearing for. Despite his often stoic face and sarcastic phrases, Sora believed that Riku loved when Kairi or Sora would drag him from the orphanage to play hide and go seek, or when Riku would be over at the farmhouse and the three would end up falling asleep beside a campfire and have to be carried in by Sora's late father. Riku may have rolled his eyes and sighed but at the end of the day when a million little stars spaced themselves from one another across a dark, forlorn sky, he never went to sleep with a complaint that Sora had made his life stuffy that day. Maybe it was the softest part of his heart, but Sora thought that some nights he had felt Riku curl a little tighter around him. The current would go out to sea but it would always slap at the land like trying to take the sand out to sea with it.

Now, as Sora watched muted breaths escape from Riku's parted lips, he wasn't sure what to do. Riku had probably gone to sleep with as much certainty over Sora's actions as Sora felt now. Really, what should he do? Well, he knew what he _should_ do, but what did he _want_ to do?

He sighed as he thought, _if we had more time...things would be different._ He could give Riku the cold shoulder or push him out of bed, but by the droop of the mattress' lip on Riku's side, he was already slipping off and away. _If today wasn't our last day for a couple months_, Sora thought as he lifted himself onto his hands and knees to crawl across the sheets, _then I would do this differently_. Sora bent his head to kiss Riku awake.

At first Riku groaned as if he was didn't want to wake, but as Sora moved his lips along he began to respond in a closed-eyes daze. To Sora, who was wide awake by now, Riku seemed to be acting as though he was still partly dreaming. His eyes hadn't opened yet and the arms that came up around Sora were light in touch and heavy in rest. Still, Riku kissed him back.

As Riku began to truly awaken and his body started to slip over the side of the bed, Sora had to leap to wrap his arms around Riku quickly enough and pin him to the spot. In his moment of jarring reflex his lips pressed firmly against Riku's, waking the boy just as one of Riku's socked feet slipped off the bed and touched the floor softly.

Riku's awaking sight was Sora's scrunched and closed eyes as their foreheads touched and lips slowed.

"Sora...I wasn't sure-" Riku began hoarsely.

"You've been silent for the past week so just...please – just shut the hell up, for now," Sora said, allowing his built up frustration to leave him with those words.

* * *

><p>"I wanted to tell you...I'll be gone for quite awhile."<p>

"I know but you don't know for how long."

Riku turned to face Sora, having to squint as the setting sun shone in his eyes. Sora tilted his head in the sun's way and Riku's visibility became better.

"You know?" Riku asked dumbfounded, "Did you hear Roxas and me talking?"

"Maybe in a kind of dream but," Sora shook his head and looked down at their clasped hands on the peeling white porch. Not wanting to give himself away, he began uncertainly and nervously, "But – it's just that I-"

"It's okay," Riku said with a smirk on his face and a roll of his shoulders. "I'd be a hypocrite and a jerk if I said you couldn't have secrets. I think I can let this one be a mystery."

"Thanks, jerk," Sora said and settled again.

Riku grew silent for a moment before saying with a cheeky chuckle, "I wondered why Leon had the window open."

Sora breathed out and let the wind carry some of his negativity away. Despite the chill of fall and the sun's slow disappearance, Sora had left his shirt unbuttoned to flap in the breeze. It stuck to the sweat on his ribs but where the air reached goosebumps popped up. Sora lay back on the porch, resting his head against Riku's thigh only to sit up again with a displeased noise.

"God, you're warm," Sora teased.

"That's your fault," Riku retaliated, slapping a hand onto Sora's cool chest and holding the boy to him. Riku kissed the top of Sora's head and whispered in his ear, "And now your problem. Enjoy it."

Sora really didn't enjoy the stickiness where their skin met, but the touch was okay. He hunkered down and bent his head back so the breeze would cool his throat at least.

After a moment where they watched the grass grow black in the fading light, Sora shifted and asked tentatively, "So, there's no way that I can see you while you're..."

"That's a bad idea," Riku said dourly, "The point of me doing this is to help us win the war quickly and stop people from getting hurt. If something goes wrong-"

"Then _you'll_ be the one getting hurt," Sora said, shaking his head, "That's not fair."

"Doesn't really matter. The Organization doesn't fight fair. They set fires and wear people down slowly. It's _pathetic_ and cowardly."

"I'm sure not everyone in the Organization is like that," Sora said and twitched under Riku's arm. It didn't matter that Roxas wasn't home and Axel wasn't over, Sora believed that Axel wasn't out to raise bloody hell, for once.

Riku gave him a stern look which Sora returned confidently. In Sora's mind, no one was strictly horrible for the sake of horribleness; everyone had a reason, even if it was a horrible reason.

Riku snorted and messed Sora's hair as he said, "You're such mom. You think everyone's got a special light inside them no matter how cruel they are."

"It's not a mother thing, it's an optimist thing," Sora corrected and jabbed the other in the side with his elbow. A little sadly, Sora added, "And it sounds like where you're going you'll need positive thought."

"I'll be fine."

"But if you're not – don't roll your eyes, you don't know what it'll be like! Seriously, if you're not okay then come back here," Sora said and knocked on the porch. "I don't care who's after you. We'll fight together, you, me, Roxas and Axel if he's cool with that, which he probably would be since he and Roxas are attached at the hip. Ha, or maybe attached at the heart is a better way to describe them."

Riku _hmm_ed in his throat and said nothing on that matter. He didn't want to think about anything or anyone that was part of the Organization today. He was worried that Axel would recognize him but Diz assuaged some of his fears by telling him that he would be joining a platoon filled with senior officers. Axel was only a pup in the Organization's ranking so it would be unlikely that they would see each other and even less likely that they would work together. It brought a knowing smirk to his lips that Diz didn't know that Roxas' boyfriend was a Hallow Bastion recruit. Maybe if he had known he wouldn't have asked Riku to go undercover. Riku wasn't sure why this made him smirk, perhaps he liked holding knowledge over his brilliant instructor that could potentially cause the man to burst a vessel.

Sora had a sly grin on his face when Riku admitted that Diz had no knowledge of Axel and Roxas' relationship. Riku had expected Sora to be worried that he would be outed by Axel but Sora just smiled and said, "Diz doesn't get that some people can keep loving when the world turns to shit."

Riku smiled along with Sora, but let his mind keep gnawing at what he knew about Axel to try and find some bone of truth as to what his motivation really was.

* * *

><p>The sun had risen hours ago and the minute the registration office was open Kairi and Naminé had enlisted. They were given uniforms and told to return the next day for assessment and training, but for the rest of day they went back to Kairi's house to relax.<p>

When they first got back to Kairi's room they both flopped onto the bed entirely dressed and looked tiredly at each other. Despite their shared exhaustion, both girls' eyes held a gleam of liveliness and they couldn't help smile at each other with half their faces hidden in the flowery comforter.

Kairi's gaze burned with determination as she looked at Naminé and the little, blonde girl felt her heart rise up from the pool of sadness her parents' death had left her soaking in. The love and loyalty Kairi was giving her dried up the worst of her sorrow and she tried to return her look with hopeful eyes.

Kairi looked as if she wanted to say something but Naminé let her eyes flutter so Kairi remained silent, allowing them to drift off.

Naminé had her eyes closed but she didn't sleep. She lay and listened for Kairi's breathing to become slower and for her body to grow still. It was during this time where Kairi's presence was gone and Naminé's mind was her only company that she would feel her worst.

The garden where Death stood with his hand on the white picket fence and spoke in his gravelly voice pervaded her mind, blew on the embers of regret and anger, and made her heart jump. It was people like him and the people he controlled that kept the fear scratching and snickering in the backs of people's brains. Slobbering jaws crunched on the thickest bones of society, and tore lives apart with their continuous chewing sounds.

Naminé startled a little; her head popped up and eyes flared open. She must have dozed off for a couple minutes; the sun was still where she left it when she closed her eyes. She meant to get out of bed, but her body was paralyzed by the thoughts her brain and dreams had kicked up. She swallowed hard, reprimanded herself, and lifted her stiff body from the bed.

While creeping from the room she caught a glimpse of her reflection in Kairi's dresser mirror. Her face looked as faint as her heart felt and made her pressed lips look redder than natural against her bloodless cheeks. She shot a half-hearted grimace at her reflection before tiptoeing out of Kairi's bedroom and down the stairs to the door.

* * *

><p>Her garden was still alive despite the drop in temperature and lack of care it had received since the fire. Some of the plants were as green as ever with healthy buds while others had turned black and curled in on themselves. She had to pull out and cut the worst ones in order to save the living ones, but the action brought a hard sadness to her chest. The skills her parents had taught her allowed her to grow these remedies to fortify the body and now the best she could do was obliterate them. She tried to see the best in the situation; at least the horehound and echinacea were still growing strongly.<p>

It had been hard to enter her garden with terror threatening to rip her open rib by rib. She imagined her parents laying in the garden still, but she knew they had been buried beneath unmarked graves in Twilight Town's small cemetery. They remained nameless as a precaution against the Organization pups that stopped by the remains of Naminé's house to spit and piss on her dying flowers.

The fear peaked as she brushed through the ferns and tall grass. As she bent to pull weeds and pluck leaves it slipped out of her. The work her hands did took her mind off of the anxiety that swelled in her. She worked until the sun was high and her hands were covered with dirt, and she had two piles of debris and herbs next to her.

She sat back on her heels to take a look at all that she had done and was surprised by the foreign sensation of something akin to retribution in her heart. Most would have sought revenge by hunting and fighting the enemy, Naminé found her vengeance in daring to live and continuing to grow.

A rustle at the edge of her backyard made her jump and stumble to her feet on pinched legs from sitting too long. She held a spade in one hand, but if it was the man in the black uniform she doubted the spade would do much good.

The rustling stopped behind a felled tree and a clump of bushes. Naminé took a step forward and tried to pull off a sneer, but it came out as more of a queasy frown.

"Who's there?" she asked, her voice wavered in only the slightest way for which she was proud. With a bit more confidence, Naminé was able to edge forward until she was standing next to the knife she had used to cut the plants with. While keeping an eye on the tree, she bent to pick it up then straightened and held it out, in what she hoped was a threatening way, towards the onlooker. "Come out!"

Shyly Pence stumbled from the foliage and stood before Naminé, looking down at his shoes.

"Oh, Pence! I didn't think it would be you, but this is good," she said, both startled and relieved when he stepped out from behind the tree.

"Oh, yeah?" Pence said while rubbing at the back of his neck nervously. He stuttered a bit as he explained, "I know I'm trespassing but I'm not here to destroy anything or – or loot anything or look around. Well, I am kind of curious about this place – your house I mean – people think it's haunted but I'm more curious about any clues the Organization people might have left-"

"Were you going to water my plants?" Naminé asked, nodding to the little, metal watering can Pence held behind his legs.

"Oh...yeah," he said, pulling the watering can from behind his back and causing the water to slosh in it. His face was red as he met Naminé's smiling gaze and stuttered, "Kairi said no one really came over here anymore, except for those Organization brats every once in a while. But you always seem to have an eye on this place so I thought, maybe while I looked around for clues I could take care of them. Peppermint is good for sore stomachs, right?" he finished quickly and with a nervous laugh.

Naminé nodded and turned back to the plants she had harvested, her own cheeks glowing a bit. There weren't as many herbs as she had hoped, despite Pence's efforts and the relatively still warm days. She gathered the usable plants in a bucket borrowed from Kairi's grandmother.

"Thank you, Pence. You saved these ones," she said, lifting the bucket and giving him a warm smile. "It means a lot that you would do this."

"It's not a – I had fun, um – Hayner...helped too. Sorta," Pence stumbled. He pointed over his shoulder with his thumb towards where the front of the house would have been and explained, "Hayner keeps watch in the front yard while I'd water them, just in case those jerks come back. Plus he's even worse at gardening, although I didn't pull any weeds 'cause I wasn't sure what actually _were_ weeds. Uh, did I save enough?"

"There are a lot more than there should have been. You preserved quite a bit but," Naminé looked worriedly at her feet. Her heart picked up at the thought of what she needed and where she could get it. In a strained voice she said, "but I need more than what I have here. My garden is smaller than my parents."

"Where is your parents'?"

Naminé shook her head. "It was behind our apothecary but it burned with the store."

"Oh, so where will you get your supplies now? Or do you not need remedies now?"

"I do need them, I think."

"So where do you get them from now?" Pence asked, "Do you need help?"

"Uh, another store," Naminé said, looking into her bucket and trying not to sound too put off at the mention of the store. She had meant to go today before it became known that she was part of Twilight Town's fighting force. Considering that the store was in Hallow Bastion, neither the Organization nor Diz would be impressed with her choice of shopping location.

"But there are no other apothecaries here and no nurseries or greenhouses..." Pence mused. He seemed to forget he was holding a watering can while he puzzled since the water dripped onto his shoes.

"I – I know. I would have to go out of town, but I'm okay with that. I thought I'd go now while the sun's still up."

"To...Hallow Bastion?" Pence asked smartly. He grunted and straightened his grip on the watering can when his socks likely grew soggy.

Naminé froze while Pence gave her a grim look with a twisted frown.

She blinked a couple times then spoke to the ground, "Yes, that's where I'll go."

Pence surveyed her with worry in his eyes. He swallowed and turned a little green as he said, "But not alone."

* * *

><p>Naminé protested, warned Pence and Hayner, who had been keeping watch at the steps of the charred house, that Hallow Bastion would be teeming with Organization members and they wouldn't be frightened of two unarmed, teenage boys. Pence's face grew greener and his smile looked painful as Naminé explained, whereas Hayner just crossed his arms and said armed or not the Organization should be scared of him. Hayner had been watching struggle matches for years in the underground ruins of Citadel Ven and he had learned how to block a punch before learning to ride a bike.<p>

Naminé dropped by Kairi's house to leave her bucket of herbs on the porch. Kairi was still asleep but her grandmother caught Naminé washing her hands in the rain barrel at the side of the house just before she meant to leave with Hayner and Pence. Feeling a little guilty that she hadn't left a note for Kairi, she told the grandmother that she would be out shopping for plants. Her stomach clenched a little at the thought of Kairi waking up and realizing the she'd been left behind. Naminé didn't believe Kairi would think her good friend had run off to Hallow Bastion to tattle to the Organization, but she didn't doubt that Kairi would be hurt and maybe furious that Naminé would risk her safety without telling her. She had planned to slip into town by herself anyways, but who knew Pence kept track of the store rosters of each little town or that he and Hayner could be so stubborn? Well, Hayner's attitude wasn't much of a surprise. Naminé counted herself lucky that Olette hadn't accompanied the boys to the garden; she would have insisted that they all go or none of them.

Surprisingly it was more difficult to go unnoticed when exiting Twilight Town than it was to enter Hallow Bastion. There were khaki-coated guards posted at many of the streets that left town and they rotated rather often. Hallow Bastion had a sole pair of guards posted at the little city's entrance, but they seemed more interested in arguing with each other than keeping watch of who walked into town. Naminé and the boys were able to slip down a side street next to the bickering guards and disappear into a crowd.

There was a moment of panic where the trio flinched in unison when one guard let out a yelp of alarm. They, along with the gaggle of street-wanderers they hid in, whirled to look over their shoulders. It didn't seem like they had been spotted and weren't likely to be since many amused eyes were locked on the guards and the trio was nowhere near as entertaining. The one guard had been put in a headlock by a rather prickly guard who released her victim after bending him over her knee and giving him a snap on the ass with her foot for good measure.

Hayner's gaze lagged on the Organization members and his steps lost their briskness, but Pence nudged him on. With a disappointed sigh, Hayner scurried away with them, all three of their heads down while the citizens were kept busy watching the infighting.

"Demyx, you keep your Goddamn trap shut. You open your mouth to _anyone_ and I'll take your teeth out one by one. Got it?" the female guard's voice echoed along the street.

"How the hell are these guys winning the war?" Hayner seethed. Pence to _shush_ed him and while looking around anxiously at the crowd they waded in. Hayner just glared and shoved his fists into his pants pockets.

"I haven't!" the other guard's voice whined behind them, "I have no trouble keeping my mouth to myself!"

"Is that some kind of crack at me?" the thorny woman snarled and the poor guard tried to sputter out a few words in his defence. She wouldn't hear it though and barked "Demyx, get the fuck out of here!"

Pence was levelled as the one guard, Demyx, fled and cannoned into him. Naminé's heart nearly soared out of her mouth. She could only stand stock still and hope that the guard didn't recognize her. Hayner gave the flustered guard a shove.

"Watch who you're crashing into," he snarled as Demyx the guard stumbled over Pence again and nearly bowled a small crowd flat. Naminé helped Pence to his feet while Hayner squared off with the guard.

"Hayner, don't go picking fights here," Pence hissed in his friend's ear.

"Man, I am _so_ sorry," the guard said, taking a step forward to clap a hand apologetically on Pence's shoulder, but Hayner stepped in his way. The guard took a nervous step back and threw his hands up as he sighed, "Today is _totally_ not my day."

The trio watched the Organization member backtrack to where the female guard stood with her arms crossed and nose haughtily sniffing the clouds. Demyx made sure to keep at least five feet from her as he leaned against a fence post, though his eyes darted to her more than they did to the surrounding area. The girl seemed to be doing her job now and with a snappish zealousness. She stopped people at random and glared into their eyes until they skulked away. Naminé hoped that their shift would be up by the time they wanted to leave town.

The three of them made their way through the streets of Hallow Bastion with only a couple suspicious looks from some of the merchants and street goers. They had to duck down an alley once when Naminé recognized a couple officers, Marluxia and Saix, from her days in Hallow Bastion. She thought that Marluxia might have spotted her since his eyes met hers briefly before she lowered her head and let her bangs cover her face, but he merely glanced down the alley and continued on, chatting idly with Saix.

They made it to the shop not long after their brush with Marluxia, and as soon as the door swung closed and the tinkling of the bell faded, Naminé's shoulders unwound and her fear dissipated. What was even more comforting was the shopkeeper's easy greeting and sympathy for her cause. He was sorry to hear that Naminé's business was no longer green or even living, and even sorrier to hear that Naminé's parents had also faded. Normally she wouldn't let Cid give her discounts or handouts, especially when most of the stores surrounding his looked unvisited or boarded up completely, but she didn't have much choice with her funds so low and her need so high.

Cid owned another store in Twilight Town and in a couple of days he said he would be restocking that store so he could bring the supplies Naminé had ordered to her then.

She had blushed when Hayner rudely asked Cid, "Why don't you just move to Twilight Town instead of selling out to this bum town?"

Cid leaned over the counter and gave Hayner a hard look that actually froze the tempered boy for a moment. Then his deep frown cracked a smile in the one corner of his mouth as he said, "I've been thinking about choosing one side or the other due to tensions, I just can't gage which town has the better people. I suppose each side has its heroes and villains...and some annoying kids who fall somewhere in between."

Hayner opened his mouth to retort but his jaw quickly snapped shut. Naminé worried for the safety of his tongue. They left shortly after, Hayner not exactly humbled but definitely not talkative. He had his fists once again sheathed in his pockets.

The fear crept back into Naminé`s chest, curling and circling like an animal that may be dozing now, but its heavy breathing from strong lungs could still be heard. It certainly made her jumpier, considering her visible flinch that caused Pence to startle and Hayner to look about warily when she spotted a uniformed figure on the opposite side of the street. Catching sight of the Organization member through the lazy crowd, Pence let out a relieved breath and Hayner just snorted.

"Geez, Nams, you're wound too tight and you're gonna give us all away. It's just Axel," Hayner said as he gestured indolently at the tall soldier. The crowd parted and the soldier, Axel, was revealed to be pulling along the guard Demyx as well as Roxas. Hayner snorted again, a little repulsively this time, as he said, "And he's even got Roxas wrapped around him. _Typical_. It's no big deal."

"Should we call out to them just in case?" Pence asked, watching Roxas be towed down the street, "That angry chick might be around here too and I'd feel better having an Organization member who'd stick up for us if we run into her."

"Oh brother," Hayner sighed, putting his hands on his hips and shaking his head.

Naminé didn't know Axel, and just seeing him with all his height, black uniform, and wild light to his eyes, made her certain that he was definitely in the right profession. Still, the way he drooped his arm over Roxas' shoulders and bowed his head low while pulling Roxas up a bit just to kiss him eased her anxiety about going up to them. They did seem to be moving hurriedly, though, so she decided against chasing after them.

The boys didn't pay any mind, then again they weren't familiar with Hallow Bastion people so how would they recognize a single chilly voice in a crowd full of strangers?

Naminé froze and regretted not calling out to Roxas as she heard Saix say, "As I said, you were careless at the gates, Larxene."

Someone, predictably Larxene, let out a furious snort. Marluxia's deep voice came to her defence, sneering out, "Haven't you heard, Saix? This is the witch that defected. She knows this town and has her black magic ways."

At the mention of a witch, the boys became aware of the small company dogging their steps, but it was too late to run or hide.

"So this is the witch?" Larxene laughed, pushing her way through the few people standing between her and the Twilight Town group. She took a moment to look Naminé up and down while Hayner and Pence mirrored Saix and Marluxia's stance beside Larxene, though with less of a menacing effect.

Larxene looked irate, probably because of Saix's chilled disapproval and the fact that she had been caught goofing off in front of senior officers. Naminé set her jaw, making her look somewhere between brave and sick. Larxene rolled her eyes.

"Oh honey, have you got to learn to pick your fights," Larxene chided. She put a hand to her mouth as if in contemplation as she moved before them, her hips swaying and eyes narrowing. She took a sudden step forward and, though Larxene's hand barely touched Naminé's chest, the smaller girl flew backwards in her own terror and banged against the brick wall of the store behind her. She held in a gasp and crossed her arms over her chest as she looked up again, a truly furious look on her face now despite her fears.

Pence and Hayner sprang to life, placing themselves between Naminé and a slightly surprised Larxene.

"Fuck off," Hayner snapped while Pence just raised his fists and tried to stop his legs from trembling.

"Does mommy know you use such language?" Larxene ribbed before turning her head in Saix and Marluxia's direction. "Should we fuck off boys?"

"Larxene, if you can't handle this situation on your own then you ought to be put back in the classroom," Saix said coldly. "After all, it was your duty to keep outsiders out and you've already failed at that."

"Surely it's better to support our cadets rather than humiliate them in the presence of our enemies?" Marluxia suggested lightly to Saix.

"Why don't both of you just fuck off?" Larxene snarled at her superiors. Both men just stared evenly at her. She rounded on Naminé and Naminé's protectors again, a new scornful fire in her eyes.

Again, Larxene moved too quickly for anyone to react. She reached between the two boys, shoving them roughly to either side, and caught hold of Naminé's face with her one hand.

Though Larxene's fingers smushed her face and her nails dug into cheeks until the white tips probably vanished into her skin, Naminé glared, albeit tremblingly, and refused to give Larxene the satisfaction of seeing her cry or fail at pulling away. For a moment no one moved; Pence and Hayner watched Larxene hold Naminé with their eyes wide open while Marluxia and Saix cast interested glances at the two girls locked in each other's glares.

Naminé wasn't sure what to expect, or what to do, or even how to feel about the situation. Then, through the bruising of her cheeks, she her face went slack and her lips opened in a shocked 'o'. What struck her with disbelief was the uncertainty she saw in Larxene's eyes, of all places. The reason why nothing had happened was because Larxene had Naminé's face in her hands and she really wasn't sure what to do with it.

Naminé and Larxene were saved and thrown right back on track when a blond ball of rage ripped through the Organization member's huddle and slapped Larxene's hand away.

"You okay, Nams?" Roxas hissed through bared teeth. He turned his head to see her nod and wipe at her cheeks before rounding on Larxene and the other soldiers. Larxene's hands had gone back to her swayed hips.

"Keep your fucking paws to yourself, Larxene," Roxas ground out. Hayner and Pence each took a step forward to stand at Roxas' elbows. Larxene didn't bat an eye, and why should she? Saix and Marluxia were two steps behind her in a town they practically ruled in.

Larxene sighed to herself and gave Roxas a taunting pout.

"Oh, Roxas. Just 'cause you're Axel's baby doesn't mean I'll treat you like mine," she mocked and pinched Roxas' cheek.

Roxas shook off her touch and said just as sarcastically, "Thank God for that. I think I'd freeze at your breast, you cold hearted bitch. Naminé's originally from here! What's your problem?"

"Whatever! That little witch might have been born here but she chose the other town," Larxene spat with a disgusted glare aimed between Roxas' and Hayner's shoulders to where Naminé was secluded. Naminé looked down at her feet as she bit her lip. Let Larxene growl, Naminé certainly wasn't feeling homesick for Hallow Bastion. "She has even less right to be here than you, _Roxy_."

Over Larxene's shoulder a tall figure appeared, his brows were furrowed and his nose wrinkled with disgust. Naminé felt another dose of fear shoot into her system at the sight of the boy, but she was soothed a moment later when the new come soldier sighed. His hair may have been bristly and an angry red, but his shoulders were thrown back against an imaginary wall as he sort of broke through his fellow soldiers like a ship through waves. Naminé recognized him as the boy Roxas had been walking with, Axel.

"Eeenough, Larxene," Axel said with swagger as he docked at Roxas' side. The boys had their backs to Naminé so she could only infer from the way Axel bumped shoulders with Roxas and Roxas didn't press back, that there was some dispute between them, most likely to do with betraying their companions. Axel looked down at Roxas and she could see half of grin pulling at Axel's lips. Roxas' face was hidden from Naminé, but she guessed her friend probably didn't have dopey, half-lidded eyes like he did when he was being kissed by the soldier at his side. Axel rolled his eyes at Roxas and turned to face their enemies. Roxas' shoulders relaxed and Naminé thought she heard he laugh under his breath.

"Let it go, guys," Axel said in an easy tone. Naminé was more than a little surprised at his ease. Axel sounded like he was calling a time out. Somehow his attitude just didn't fit. The fact that Marluxia and Saix were present meant that this situation, though not that important for the overall war, was a serious business. Axel's slouched shoulders and drawl suggested he thought this was an act and the actors weren't very good. Axel added nonchalantly, "I don't think this girl or her boyfriends are gonna do much."

Saix and Marluxia regarded Axel blandly with only their small light in the corners of their eyes hinting at amusement to Axel's antics. Larxene was livid. She appeared to be the same rank as Axel, therefore she was probably a friend of his, or at least felt she was his equal. Her cheeks still stung where Larxene had grabbed her but she felt some pity for the young, female soldier. It must have been difficult for her to keep up the tough act when she was constantly being tested with Axel's bravado and her superiors' cold instructions.

When no one said anything, Axel looked over his shoulder at Naminé, Hayner and Pence. With a waggle of his fingers he motioned for them to shove off.

"Go on," he said as he turned back to his fellow Organization members. "Get out of here. These big, bad guys won't follow you."

Roxas peered over his shoulder to nod reassuringly at Pence and Hayner, and to give Naminé a mischievous smile. Naminé blinked back at him. Was Roxas actually enjoying this?

Pence took her hand while Hayner charged past Saix and Marluxia, seeming to miss both officers though they hadn't appeared to have moved.

Naminé looked back over her shoulder at Axel and Roxas as they took Naminé's place on the chopping block. Their numbers were lessened, but Roxas somehow looked stronger as he took a step forward and gave Axel a playful smile. So he was enjoying himself. Naminé didn't feel as bad for leaving him there then.

* * *

><p>With the guards busy and maybe feeling a little sore over a comrade's public display of inner conflict, Naminé and the boys were barely even looked at as they escaped from Hallow Bastion. The walk home was slightly worrisome due to bursts of gunfire among the trees and at one point Hayner jumped two feet in the air when a stray bullet burst the ground before him and sprayed them all with dirt. After that happened they wordlessly agreed to sprint the rest of the way to town.<p>

The sun was setting by the time Naminé was in sight of Kairi's house. She had parted ways with the boys not long ago and only after several long minutes of telling them to just go home and rest, she would be fine to walk back alone. The streets were relatively quiet and the usual Organization members that prowled the town were only seen at the opposite ends of alley mouths. Most lights in the houses were out already or the curtains drawn over lights that glowed deeper within. Kairi's house was completely dark except for a bedside light glowing in the blind window of her room.

Naminé was misled when she took the light as a sign that Kairi was awake and waiting in her room. She had just stuck the key Kairi had given her in the front door only to find it unlocked. She automatically assumed the worst; Kairi and her grandmother would be slit from chin to stomach and lying face down in their own blood. Her fears were increased doubly and she spun on her heels when a voice spoke from the shadows of the porch.

"Pulling a Riku were you?" Kairi asked with thinly veiled malice as she stalked from the shade of the eaves. Her arms were crossed and she stood with one hip jutting out as an angry frown formed on her shadowed face.

"A Riku?" Naminé asked with a nervous laugh. She faced Kairi with a smile despite her fright. She was glad to see her friend was safe and not dying a hideous death in her living room.

"Yeah, you just run off without telling me," Kairi almost spat and the shadows danced on her face as she strode forward.

"I told your grandmother I'd be gone and I thought she would-"

"She _did_ tell me," Kairi butted in. Her brows formed a deep V and she hugged herself tighter as she continued, "I knew exactly where you had gone. I was with you this morning when you said you knew a place in Hallow Bastion where you could get your shit."

"I know you were there – I was happy you were there-"

"Really?" Kairi asked with a constricted voice, flicking a piece of hair from her eyes and blinking rapidly, "Because waking up to Pro – to Diz knocking on my door and having to explain your sudden disappearance was a really bad way to repay me. You just _left_ me-"

"Kairi, I'm sorry. I didn't know-"

"I'm not done," Kairi said shakily as she put a hand in Naminé's face to stop her from talking and to keep her from coming any closer. Naminé paused with her one foot ahead of the other as she made to embrace her friend. It hurt to be rejected by, but Kairi seemed to be in greater emotional turmoil. She bit at her lip as her features twitched in anger.

"I think it was worse that you told me where you were going because I spent the entire day feeling sick and sore over you," Kairi said with a bit of a rasp to her voice. "I was worried that you would come back in a body bag or that I'd just never know what had happened. Then there was Diz with his stupid sneer and looking at me like he _knew_ this would happen."

Kairi lowered her eyes to the porch, kicked lightly at the boards and they responded dully. When she had woken up and found the house empty except for her grandmother making tea in the kitchen, she felt her stomach sink lower fear's tide rose. She knew trying to find Naminé in Hallow Bastion was a horrible idea, but that was all she could think of doing. She tried to assuage her fears by planning to visit Hayner, Pence or Olette but her anxiety kept her nailed to the chair in front of the living room window. She waited in the day's light shining through the pane and shook with suppressed sobs in the growing shadows of evening. When it was safe to call the day night she had stopped moping and moved to the porch and watched from the corner nearest to the road for anyone.

Seeing Naminé walk up the porch as she watched from the shadows stripped her of her worries, but left her feeling both relieved and upset. She thought venting would make her feel better, but she just felt sick to her stomach and sore around the eyes. She wasn't sure what to do other than look at her feet and hold herself. And she had wanted to see Naminé returned so badly.

"Kairi," Naminé said tentatively, "I can go to Diz tomorrow and explain where I was. Hayner and Pence were with me all day so I have alibis for what I did. I'm sorry..."

"You had the boys with you?" Kairi asked hoarsely as she ran a thumb under her eyes. She didn't cry easily, but the day was getting to her and she had to scratch at the corners of her eyes to keep them from flooding over.

"Yes, they wouldn't let me go alone. I...didn't leave you behind because I wanted to. I would have taken all my friends with me because I was scared, but I didn't think that was fair. I'm more of a target than anyone else from Twilight Town. It's bad enough the boys went with me, but it would be even worse if you had too."

Kairi opened her mouth to interject but Naminé shook her head, saying, "No, listen. It would be worse with you because we live together and because you're now with the Twilight Town Regiment. T-they would attack your home for taking me in, they would torture you for information and then they'd kill you in the cruellest way b-because you're my friend. They really are that cruel."

Kairi was stricken and fished for something to say but came up with nothing.

"Naminé..."

"That's what they did to my parents...It's what I think about all the time," Naminé whispered. She cleared her throat and managed a smile that didn't look too sad as she said, "I'm trying to be stronger for them and for me, just...I don't want anyone else dragged into this. It's bad enough with just the war, so, until the Organization stops pursuing me, I just need you to be patient. And I really am sorry that you were worried."

Kairi looked Naminé up and down and had to draw back a little. There was a change in her friend since the fire. There was still a timid aspect about her with the way she stood with all her limbs drawn inward and her spine's slight curve, but she was losing those aspects. The fact that she was willing to go into enemy territory alone when on her first day of school she couldn't even address the class without having Kairi at her side was proof of this change.

She was happy for her friend while simultaneously she felt like she was scrabbling on the edge of a cliff and Naminé stood a little ahead of her, also on uneven ground, but she was steady and leaning on nothing but own two feet.

Why did she feel like that? Naminé was the one would had lost so much and Kairi had seen firsthand the destructiveness of the Organization. Had the war not sunk past her pretty mahogany haired head? She doubted that considering she was living on an erupting battlefield, but still she couldn't understand why she felt so unbalanced, so unequal, maybe even immature.

Naminé stood before her with big, apologetic eyes, waiting quietly for some sort of reply.

Kairi swallowed and said as evenly as possible, "I understand, or I'll _try_ to understand, just..."

Kairi stepped forward jerkily to wrap her arms around Naminé's shoulders and put a hand on the back of her friend's head. She was glad that like this Naminé couldn't see the fear that trembled Kairi's lip or see how quickly she had to blink to keep her eyes clear.

Naminé's arms came up around her body and Kairi had to stop herself from sighing deeply. She had meant to be the one comforting Naminé, but the roles felt reversed. Kairi hoped she could find strength but she feared searching for it.

* * *

><p>Riku had always thought he lived a simple life considering the size of his house, the three or four pairs of pants he owned, and his shoebox size collection of material memories. Now, as he stared at the pillowcase-sized bag he was to pack for his days in the Organization, he wasn't sure everything he needed would fit. The Hallow Bastion uniform took up half of the bag as it was. How was he supposed to fit his life in one sac?<p>

Riku gathered a couple pairs of trousers and shirts then placed them in the bag just under the uniform. He doubted he would need them for much but he wasn't allowed to bring anything that could tie him back to Twilight Town. The clothes from his life, life up 'til now, comforted him a bit. He snorted as he thought ironically, _even if they are more the _shell_ of my existence_.

He looked through the small collection of photos he had, trying to find one that didn't take place in Twilight Town. After sifting through a dozen he shoved them under his bed and tried to forget he had even looked at them because they only made it harder to leave, and the worst was yet to come.

He stopped by the orphanage to let Aerith know he would be gone for a while. The soft spoken den mother looked at him with worry as if he had DOOM and DESPAIR written in black ink on his face. He told her that if things got worse in town she should speak to Diz or Kairi who would help her find a safer place for their brothers and sisters. Aerith nodded compliantly, but when he turned to leave she put a hand on his shoulder and asked, "When will we see you again?"

Riku paused with his back still turned to her. Then he slipped on an easy smile and removed her hand from his shoulder and turned to press his lips to her fingers. He left without a word.

He bumped into Xion outside the orphanage and he really had to wonder if he looked that solemn because her friendly smile became a troubled frown as she looked at him.

"Riku, is something wrong?" she asked, setting down the toddler in her arms as she approached him.

"Not exactly," Riku said a little stiffly as his little brother wandered over to him. "I'll just be gone for a while."

"Oh...somewhere better than here?"

"Not really..."

"That's too bad," she said. Xion watched the little boy squat at Riku's feet to stare at his older brother's gleaming, black boots.

Riku watched his little brother run his fingers across his boot, probably interested in touching his blurry reflection in them. To the child the reflection in a boot was something bright and new, but due to the events of the day, Riku felt a little disturbed by his brother's interest. He hypocritically believed Leon's ideology; he never wanted to see one of his little brothers in those boots.

Riku passed the boy back to Xion, squeezing his hand as he said, "Goodbye, Simba. Behave for Xion and Aerith."

"Riku, wait," Xion called to him as he began to walk away. With large concerned eyes she asked, "How can – is there any I can do? You seem so..."

"Actually," Riku said slowly, turning on the spot to give Xion a serious look, "there is something you could do."

"What?"

"Keep our brothers and sisters safe. I...won't be close enough to do that now."

"Of course I will, I always have, but I meant for _you_."

"Me?" Riku scoffed, "What are you talking about, Xion? I'm fine."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary: **Riku is now part of the odd goings-on in his hometown and he has confirmed that a war is gradually working towards a peaking point. Sora has noticed some changes in Riku's patterns and he is just as determined as Riku is to save his home town to understand what is breaking between them. Many people made and make mistakes that have and will leave wounds that may become infected and refuse to heal, or ones that will scar over with the help of a friendly hand.

**Themes:** There is some romance between Sora and Riku as well as some mention of Axel/Roxas. Friendship in times when it is needed for strength. Adventure in the discovery of who really is the hero of the story. Angst for young men failing to see the light peeking through their dark actions. Hurt/comfort in the loss of lovers, brothers, beauty and pride. And humour, sometimes dark, for a break in all that drama.

**Author's Note: **It's been a while, huh? For that, I am sorry. The story is completely written, just not edited so don't be turned off by the thought that _This is War_ will become a lost in space and time story. Nah, life's just been doing a couple loop-dee-loops and shaking a couple of my branches. I'm working at not letting things blow me down so easily. I'll be taking my time over the next couple updates. Fragmented sentences! Hope you enjoy it!

**Wow, this title was not creative...nah, bed. Now.**

* * *

><p><strong>Citadel Ven<strong>

Riku slowed as he came within sight of the white farmhouse. It had been hard saying goodbye to the people at the orphanage, but the hardest leave would probably be lounging miserably somewhere inside the farmhouse. To make matters worse, Sora most likely would be pale faced from the moment Riku stepped in over the threshold to the moment he stepped out over it again. He would be lucky to leave without one of them in tears.

As he got closer he recognized Roxas and, to his great dislike and fear, Axel standing huddled together on the porch. He was close enough to hear their conversation, but both were so engrossed in each other that neither noticed his presence.

Riku paused, hidden behind the post of the porch, when he heard Axel say, "...so I'll be a little north of here. Maybe I'll be able to sneak over and visit at night. I'm not looking forward to spending the winter in a tent in some field, but fingers crossed that I'll be back before the first snowfall."

Axel chuckled while Roxas remained silent. When Axel's laughter died off, Riku strained to hear Roxas ask glumly, "For how long?"

"I don't know but not for too long. Xemnas can't keep his dogs away from the home for long," Axel said, sounding tired.

"Yeah. And it's just training, right?" Roxas asked.

"Yeah, just training," Axel replied in a soft tone.

It wasn't exactly happiness that Riku felt when he heard Axel was going away for training. He was too anxious to be happy about much at the moment. Maybe what he felt was hope, as if Axel's temporary removal from the Organizations' headquarters was a sign that things would go well while he was undercover.

Axel, the only Hallow Bastion person that could put a name and place to his face, would be gone for the first few months. This development made Riku feel a little easier about entering his secretive placement.

He rounded the corner and tried not to look too tense as he approached the mooning couple. Going away or not, Riku was still a fox among dogs and he would have preferred Axel's snout to not be so close to him or Sora. If there was one thing he knew about Axel it was that the guy had a big mouth and a wild side.

The boys were busy locking lips in a way that made Riku even more uneasy than he felt already. As it was weird to have Roxas watch him and Sora sleep, it was weird for him to be near Sora's little brother as he kissed his Axel passionately. Riku let out a dry cough that killed the mood, broke the kiss and grabbed both boys' attention. Roxas looked displeased and embarrassed whereas Axel lazily glanced over his shoulder at him.

From the very edge of the porch, Riku asked Roxas through stiff lips, "Where's Sora?"

"Sora's inside. Just go on in," Roxas said, looking uncomfortable and attempted a smile.

Roxas hadn't forgiven him, which Riku understood completely since he still mistrusted the soldier. He felt guilty for causing Roxas pain and wished that they could go back to the days of storming off angrily only to resume their game ten minutes later. He thought Roxas was being a little blind, but so long as he was (ignorantly) happy Riku could at least try to tolerate his best friend.

Riku gave a curt nod and tried not to make eye contact with Axel as he headed inside. He felt some regret for not treating Axel properly. If they weren't on opposite sides they probably could at least be friendly acquaintances.

"Little ray of sunshine that one is," Axel commented, as Riku made his way down the hall. "He should dress in yellow, it'd compliment his sunny disposition."

Then again, Riku could have misjudged their compatibility. His annoyance was cut short when Sora appeared around the corner leading into the living room. When he saw Riku standing warily in the hallway, prepared for any pleading or questioning Sora would do to keep him there next to the staircase, Sora froze.

"Sora, I'm-"

"One minute," Sora said, holding up a finger as he breezed past Riku to thump up the stairs.

Riku put his foot on the first step, peeked up the stairs and called Sora's name.

"Just a sec," Sora yelled back. Moments later Sora appeared at the top of the stairs and began descending, looking at something in his hands.

"What was that about?" Riku asked as Sora came to stand a couple steps above him, still looking at what he held.

"You said yesterday that your back-story for the Organization was you were trained at Citadel Ven, right?" Sora asked, to which Riku nodded.

Yuffie had managed to discover that the Organization had another smaller and less organized division near the fortress. Diz suggested that Riku say he had received training from there and, having shown some promise, was transferred to Hallow Bastion's main core. Little paperwork would be needed since the "citizens" of Citadel Ven migrated more often than there were seasons in the year.

"Then it would be alright to have this with you," Sora said and handed him the photo he held. "Do you remember that field trip?"

"Yes," Riku said as he looked at the picture. It was of him and Sora before they had started dating. It had taken place at Citadel Ven when Diz had taken their class on a trip to visit the small town buried in the white marble ruins. Roxas hadn't entered high school yet and Kairi probably wasn't in the picture because she would have been taking it, and maybe she had opted out of it because Sora had confided in her how he felt about Riku. A lot of pictures had been taken that day, but this one was probably Sora's favourite because Riku had let Sora hold his hand as they stood in front of a sheer drop that overlooked some marble rubble. Looking at his own face he remembered that he hadn't hated holding Sora's hand.

Riku looked back to Sora and held the picture out to him.

"I shouldn't," he said.

"Why not? Sora asked, put his hands behind his back.

"Because it's yours and I know how old this is but it looks brand new so you've actually made the effort to take care of it, which is saying something because you don't even brush your hair. Here," Riku said gruffly as he tucked the photo in Sora's shirt. "You like it so keep it."

Sora stared at him with unfazed eyes. He blinked once then stated more than said, "You're upset."

"Yeah, a little. Maybe you should join Diz's undercover force since you're such a great detective," Riku joked edgily. As Sora just stared at him he scuffed his feet on the welcome mat and asked curiously, "Why aren't you upset?"

"Because I know you're going to come back," Sora said as if he was stating one plus one equalled two. He said it so matter-of-factly that one would have thought it was a universal truth, so why was Riku having trouble doing the math?

"Yeah? Did an angel come and whisper that in your ear last night?"

"No," Sora replied, his eyes gleaming with anger as he took offense to Riku's words. "I know you and I know that you are coming back. You don't just do things blindly."

Riku didn't know what to say. He felt pressed by Sora to do something amazing and in the end Sora wouldn't even be swept off his feet because he had known all along that Riku could do it.

"You don't believe me? Fine," Sora said. He stuck his hand down his shirt, took the photograph in two hands and tore it in half.

"Sora-"

"Here," he said, pushing the half with him on it into Riku's hands, "You keep that half as a reminder that I believe in you. And _when_ you come back we'll put the pieces back together."

* * *

><p>Riku tilted his cap forward and lowered his eyes as a senior officer walked up and down the ranks of the new recruits. A dozen or so other black clad boys and girls waited in line just like him, either lowering their eyes because they were afraid to meet Officer Saix's cold gaze or because the pounding rain blurred their vision. Riku recognized some of the others in line, he was sure he had seen the boy a couple bodies to his right running down the streets of Twilight Town, and the girl to his immediate left he had seen lighting fires in the back alley of the ice cream shop in his home. He knew their faces, but they remained nameless to him, even as Saix stopped to ponder some of their names from his roster.<p>

The senior officer was nearing him and slowing and then halting before Riku. He wasn't sure what he should do if Saix's meticulous gaze should fall suspiciously on him. He could bolt and hope he could outrun the few snipers that dotted the roofs, pray that the rain impaired their vision as much as it did his. He didn't have much time to think about this as the blue haired man stopped before him and asked in a vaguely curious tone, "You are Cadet Ansem?"

Riku raised his head and was blinded by the rain streaming off the bill of his cap. Saix's cold, stoic gaze held him in place and somehow made the rain colder still.

Unflinchingly, Riku replied, "Yes, sir."

Saix nodded slightly and let his roster fall to his side as he questioned further, "Are you not familiar with the Organization?"

Riku could only gaze in a statuesque way up at his superior seeing as he was choking on his heart. The rain didn't even seem bothersome anymore as he held Saix's odd, glowing gaze.

Another senior officer who had been standing behind Saix, turned around when Riku faltered. He fixed his one eye on the petrified Riku and strode over with a large grin on his lips. He clapped Saix on the back and said, "You interrogate the newbies like that on their first day and my boys will have more runaways for target practice."

"Senior Officer Xigbar," Saix said with a small salute to his superior. Officer Xigbar merely snorted at the formality and wiped the rain from his face. Saix continued with a slightly less formal tone, saying, "I am not interrogating them. It's either that Cadet Ansem does either not know Hallow Bastion's protocols or he is yet another disobedient cadet that ought to be shipped out with your recruits."

The senior officers along with the line of recruits turned to look at him. Riku just lowered his eyes and let the rain cascade off the brim of his hat.

"Oh? Why's that? Lemme see that list," Xigbar said, taking the roster without permission. Saix appeared unfazed and didn't say a word. Xigbar held it close to his remaining eye and squinted to see Riku's false name and credentials through the gale. He pulled away shaking his head. "I can't read this through this pissing weather. He seems to have a lot of info on him so he must have some learning in him already. Want him with my batch of kids anyways?"

Saix took the roster back, shaking his head.

"I think not. He is beyond your training, other than he has minimal experience with weaponry and that will come with time," Saix said. Xigbar shrugged and Saix turned to give the recruit under scrutiny a onceover. Riku stood erect but kept his head bowed. "Did someone instruct you to wait over here?"

"No, sir," Riku honestly replied. When he woke up in the new recruits' temporary sleeping quarters that morning he had gotten dressed and waited quietly in the corner for the others to leave. He had followed and blended in with the jostling recruits up to now and believed himself to be in the right place. Then a burly senior officer called the new recruits in a line and instructed them to wait for inspection by Officer Saix who was currently looking down his scarred nose at Riku. "I thought since I was quartered with the others last night I would be classed with them today."

"And if he was social he would have noticed how overqualified he was to be grouped with these pups. By the way, stop yapping you guys," Xigbar said to a couple recruits. They shared a look with each other before deciding to let the rain fill the silence. Officer Xigbar smiled wolfishly before he clapped Saix on the shoulder again and jibed, "Can't blame the kid for being quiet. It would hypocritical of you, Saix. I don't think you've once sat at the senior officers' table. Why don't you take him for your platoon, huh? Train him as a junior officer, take him under your wing, why don't yah?"

Saix pulled away from Xigbar's one-armed hug and looked down at the roster as he replied coolly, "I'll take your advice under consideration. And speaking of training, don't you have a new group to be instructing? I imagine they're soaking up the weather rather than your wise words."

"Alright, alright," Xigbar said, backing off and heading for a roofless jeep not far from the group. "Have fun, kiddies. Maybe I'll see you in my boot camp if Saix doesn't eat you alive first."

Riku watched the grizzled, older officer hop in the jeep and take off for the gates surrounding the Organization's headquarters, honking and spraying dirt at the recruits near the end of the line. A couple jumped out of rank to avoid the spray and Xigbar could be heard laughing and barking apologizes.

While Riku's attention was fixed on the blurred taillights, Saix had called the burly officer that had first greeted the recruits over to take command. Without introducing himself he ordered the cadets to follow him for a run in the rain.

"This way. Keep up," he ordered, heading for the gates that Xigbar had spun his wheels out of. Riku turned to follow, but Saix eerily reappeared and halted him as well as a couple other recruits behind him. He glanced coolly at the crowd of cadet uniforms and waved them onward, holding only Riku up. The other cadets looked at Riku suspiciously and the girl he recognized as the fire bug gave him a heated glance as she jogged away in the rain.

"Follow me, cadet," Saix said. He turned from Riku, headed towards one of the large grey buildings close by.

Riku hesitated for a second and then, bent necked, followed in Saix's muddy footsteps through the storm.

* * *

><p>"Um, Sora?"<p>

"Hold on, Rox, I've just got one more nail to hammer in. Uh, who's there? Axel?" Sora called awkwardly around a nail from the living room.

Last night one of their windows was burst to a hundred brilliant, little shards. The boys had met each other at the top of the stairs, Sora with a baseball bat in his hand and Roxas with one of their kitchen knives in his. Together they wandered downstairs to see who the culprit was. Even with the clarity of morning they still weren't sure who had done it. Lying in the middle of the floor was a rock and wedged in the wall not far away was a bullet. Since both were inanimate objects neither could be held accountable.

All the brothers could do was sweep up the glass and board up the window. They were almost done when they heard a knock on their door and Roxas was the first to leap off his chair. Sora was left to hold the board in place and juggle a hammer in his hand and a nail between his teeth.

"I don't really know," Roxas replied and then asked the people at the door, "Who are you?"

Sora jumped down from the chair and headed for the door when he heard their guest snap at Roxas for being rude.

"That's no way to greet a king!" a familiar voice squawked at Roxas through the screen.

"Uh, but Donald, how's he supposed to know who the king is?"

He recognized the voices and was startled to see the king's guards as well as a third figure among them, presumably their king. He pushed past Roxas who was holding the door closed and frowning at the shortest guard. Roxas gave him an odd look as he opened the door to their three guests.

"Come on in guys, or, I mean Your Majesty?" Sora said as he took the nail from between his teeth and held open the door.

"Your Majesty?" Roxas said disbelievingly and gave Sora a sceptical look, but he stepped aside to let the three in.

Sora walked them to the living room, awkwardly scratching the back of his head when the king and his men stared at the half boarded window and bucket full of glass.

"Welcome, I guess," Sora said while still musing over why he was being visited by the king and how he was supposed to act. He motioned to the sofa and said, "Make yourselves at home."

"If you can call it a home," Roxas yawned while staring sadly and a little fearfully at the window.

The guards quietly took a seat while King Mickey watched the brothers. Roxas had crossed the room to stand close to Sora as if the draft was chilling him. Sora bucked up his brother and met the king with a smile.

"Sora and...?" Mickey said, looking to Roxas.

"I'm Roxas."

Mickey nodded, "Sora and Roxas, I'm King Mickey."

"I thought so," Sora said, sharing a smile with the king and his companions.

"King? In our farmhouse?" Roxas asked, confusedly looking from his brother to the short royal. His brow furrowed as he asked, "King of what?"

"King of Twilight Town," Sora reprimanded, putting his hands on his hips and giving his brother a warning look to cage his tongue and his attitude.

Roxas checked his tone and lowered his eyes slightly as he asked, "Are you sure?"

"Why are you so sceptical?"

"Oh, I don't know. I guess just because things haven't been going exactly as planned lately," Roxas said, gesturing at the broken window whistling the wind into their living room.

"Plus, and I'm sorry if this will sound rude, Your Majesty," Roxas said with a small bow in the king's direction, "If you have guards then why aren't any of them in Twilight Town, you know, fighting with Twilight Town's forces?"

Mickey's eyes grew sad and heavy, giving him the appearance of some kind of large-eyed rodent caught by the paw in a trap.

Before the king could speak, Sora chimed in, somewhat hesitantly, "I have seen the guards in Twilight Town. These guys actually, Donald and Goofy. Remember I told you I was found by two guards when I followed Riku to the school? This is them, Roxas."

Donald and Goofy waved at Roxas and he replied with a small wave.

"Thanks for not ratting my lovesick brother out," Roxas shrugged.

"Sora, Roxas, I know it's not my place," Mickey began as Sora opened his mouth to tell Roxas to shut his, but was silenced by the king's serious words. "It's not my place but I'm rather familiar with Riku. I know he is away for a little while and during his time with me he often expressed his feelings for you."

"Really? Often?" Roxas asked with raised eyebrows. He seriously doubted Riku went about weeping or bursting into ballads when alone in a king's castle.

"Well, in his own way," the King coincided, "He was also very serious but I knew, as you know, that he cares for his friends. It's why he's in the situation he is in now."

"I know," Sora said dolefully, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall. He saw Roxas looking at him with a similar distress on his face. He guessed that his brother was thinking of Axel and how his best friend would find only enemies in this room.

"Riku is his own person and he has to find his own way, but I feel as if I owe something to him. Not out of duty, but out of friendship. That is why I am here. Also because Leon is worried about the both of you and Riku. Sora and Roxas," the king said with friendly smile and a gentle light in his eyes, "have you considered relocating?"

The brothers shared a look and neither of them appeared happy. Roxas was thinking that if they moved Axel may not be able to find them and he was worried that the king would find them a place in Twilight Town, lessening Roxas' chances of seeing him anytime soon. Sora didn't want to move for Roxas' sake and just in case Riku did return. If Riku was in trouble and came looking for Sora as he had asked him to do, then he may not be able to find them. Plus there was something comforting about their home. The farmhouse wasn't anymore protected than the little houses and cottages in town, but it was familiar and familiarity had its own brand of protection.

"No," Sora said, turning back to Mickey. He shook his head and said, "No, we can't move. I mean, I know we should but...we can't."

* * *

><p>Riku's muscles ached and he would have liked to scream. Saix, despite being a senior officer, was probably the worst person for Riku to be stuck tagging after or running errands for. Riku didn't doubt that if anyone had valuable information it would be Saix since he seemed to be the General's mouthpiece when Xemnas wasn't present and was otherwise the ear for the General's commands. Although, Riku had yet to actually see the General and could only assume that when Saix said "by order of General Xemnas" he had actually received the orders from the man in charge.<p>

The problem lay in the truth that Saix was antisocial or at the very least, a cold and quiet stone. Riku wasn't sure why Saix kept him around and for a while he believed that Saix might actually be suspicious of him. As the days went by his fears lessened and frustration took its place as he was run around the ranks to deliver messages or sealed envelopes. The messages he was told were usually boring reports or simple orders from higher up and the envelopes he opened and resealed weren't all that interesting. The letters mainly contained the day's schedule or changes in shift, sometimes requests for medical items or ammunition. It was like being a starving man casting his line into lake and pulling out only minnows when he knew something bigger swam in those waters. Saix just refused to bite and kept Riku stationed outside the General's rather soundproof door, banging his head against the wall. The best information Riku had sent back to the King and Diz was that most of the supply requests went to the Citadel Ven. Maybe Leon would send some of his troops to disrupt the fortress and at least lessen the weapons supply. He wondered what Leon was doing now...Sora as well.

He tried not to think about him too much because he had caught his reflection in the mirror one morning when he had awoken from a dream of Sora. His eyes already looked horrible from his lack of sleep and he had to rinse and spit several times into the sink to keep his throat open and tongue wet.

Just before the sun came up Riku met Saix in the courtyard along with a couple other recruits and senior officers for a jog. The air had become bitingly cold and every breath in felt sharp and every breath out came with a rush of heat and a puff of spent energy. Tiring as it was, Riku enjoyed just wasting energy and because it was the one time of his day that everyone was red-faced and huffing, giving him the time to think of whoever he wanted and not look out of place while heavily sighing and straining to keep a neutral face. Round the buildings he went and round his mind his thoughts went.

He was showering down after his run, ignoring the other soldiers of his rank because he wasn't there to make friends, and had just stepped out of the shower in a puff of steam when Saix appeared before him, almost fully dressed except for his shirt which he had draped over his arm. Normally Saix only acknowledged his existence with a curt nod and a "Cadet Ansem", but today he was walking over to where Riku was dressing. Riku looked up at his superior, ready to salute the man, but Saix wasn't looking at him, he was staring down at what was maybe a tattered letter or a torn photograph...

Riku blanched and slowly lowered the towel he was using to dry his hair as Saix looked up from the picture and directly at Riku.

"This is yours, isn't it?" Saix said, handing the halved photo of Sora to him. It was wrinkled and had been folded, but Saix hadn't done that, Riku did so that he could keep it in the pocket of his uniform at all times. The photo wasn't incriminating but the fewer people who knew about Sora the better.

What had Riku's heart jumping beneath his ribs was that he knew Saix had been in Twilight Town at least once and might have seen Sora in town or walking on the path towards it.

Riku, as much as it hurt to think, was prepared to tell Saix it wasn't his and to just throw it out, but the senior officer shrugged the shirt onto the bench before Riku and said, "I mistook your shirt for mine and this fell out of it."

Saix passed the photo to Riku who took it with numb hands.

"Yes, sir, it's mine," Riku said, taking it back and wondering whether it would look suspicious if he just shoved it in his pocket and continued to dress. Instead he wiped some water from Sora's face with his thumb and concentrated on it.

"A friend from your home town?" Saix inquired. Riku felt his superior's eyes on him, he relaxed his shoulders.

"Yeah, someone I had to leave behind," Riku said with a shrug as he folded the picture and put it back in shirt pocket.

Though they didn't speak, Saix continued stand next to him. Riku continued on with his morning routine, casually sneaking a peek to see what emotions crossed Saix's face. He seemed to be in thought, but other than that Riku couldn't read his expression.

In a tone that was much softer than he usually spoke, Saix said, "I understand."

Riku turned to look confusedly at his superior, but Saix had walked away.

* * *

><p>The exchange in the showers had been odd, especially since Saix had appeared to show something close to emotion, but the day got stranger still.<p>

Riku had been following Saix as he made his way to a brief meeting with Xemnas. Upon reaching the room he took up his normal post outside of the door but another younger recruit bumped him aside. Saix paused to stare at the cadets and Riku grit his teeth. It looked like he would have to express some seniority, but Saix countered that thought.

"Ansem, we need someone who has knowledge on the Citadel Ven. You are to join us today," Saix said as he entered the room.

Surprised and a little hopeful, Riku followed Saix in and, though he was forced to stand in the corner of the room, he was happy to be there. Maybe he would have something important to report after today.

Saix motioned for him to close the door and, once he did, a man with long grey hair and glowing, amber eyes said in a deep voice, "Marluxia, what do you have to report on the incidents at the ammunition factory at the Citadel?"

Riku made sure his lips didn't quirk up into a smile as the conversation started. So Leon had been busy.

"I have had Vexen question all of the men at the factory, but so far none have confessed to leaking information or allowing outsiders into the Citadel. Vexen's methods are quite reliable and I have dealt with the overseers and turned up nothing," Marluxia said evenly, showing only the slightest smirk on his face as he mentioned his part in the questioning. "What this suggests is that the Twilight Town Regiment has someone outside of the Citadel with the ability to enter undetected. We've tightened security and made it possible for only those born in there able to enter and leave."

"And when were these plans put into effect?" Xemnas asked calmly.

"One week ago," Marluxia replied.

"And the last sabotage occurred?"

"Two days ago around noon."

"Noon?" Saix inquired.

"Yes, which we believe means that unless someone crept in at night and waited until noon to attack then the culprit is from Citadel Ven," Marluxia said with a tip of his head to Saix.

Riku had been mauling something over in his head, something that bumped densely into his brain but was unable to penetrate it. This sounded familiar somehow and he felt like he was forgetting something or someone, maybe? He had been thinking to himself for a while and didn't even hear the General's question but was dragged into the conversation when Saix said his name.

"Perhaps Cadet Ansem could shed some light on the conditions of his home town," Saix said, turning his and the other officer's attention to him.

His heart thumped dully. He had been prepared for these kinds of questions by Diz.

"I doubt anyone could enter by climbing the walls; three sides of the fortress, where the core of the town is, looks out onto cliffs. Searching the people would be a tough job too considering the citizens are all nomads and vagabonds with their own code of ethics and deeply rooted inner loyalty. Not to mention there are hundreds of orphans that are born in the Citadel and transferred to neighbouring towns, and any of the children could claim citizenship to Citadel Ven."

Xemnas nodded to Riku and after a minute of private thinking, Xemnas spoke to Marluxia, "Is the factory still operational?"

"Yes, but barely," Marluxia replied.

"Then it is likely that the culprit will return," Xemnas said matter-of-factly, "The moment there is anything done to the factory have the Citadel locked down. I'll give you extra troops to be waiting on the outskirts. Saix, tomorrow I want you deployed to Citadel Ven as well. That is all for now."

* * *

><p>"Kairi, if it's too much for you then you can wait outside."<p>

"No, I have to get used to this."

"No one should have to get used to this," Naminé said sadly as she used a pair of tweezers to pick glass out of a man's skull. She gave her friend a sympathetic smile. Kairi was sallow about the cheeks as she held a light over the wound.

Diz should have been happy to accept Naminé because there were few actual nurses and, spy or not, Naminé did amazing work. At least Kairi thought so considering how Naminé leaned closer to the man's bleeding head to find glass fragments and didn't even wrinkle her nose.

Kairi was getting better at dealing with wounds. The first shift she had worked a young woman had come into the hospital missing a finger after a knife fight in an alley. Kairi had rushed out of the room and vomited right outside the door. The next time she made it to the bathroom. Shortly after her first day, Leon had her driving a jeep to pick up the wounded and leave the healing to the people in the back. She still caught glimpses of limbs out of place and weeping gashes, but the worst that happened was her own leg or arm would go a little numb or tingle in sync with the soldiers' pain. Naminé had smiled at her when she admitted these feelings and gave her a warm hug.

"It's called empathy and it's an attractive trait to have," Naminé had whispered to her while their patients slept before them.

Kairi hugged her back and joked that at least she was doing something right.

Now, as she sat shining the light on the little, metal claws that picked and pulled at skin, her radio went off, calling for her assistance. She passed the light off to Naminé and headed out of the hospital. She was in the foyer when someone else called her name.

"Kairi! That was a lot easier than I thought," Xion said as she ran up to her with a child bouncing in her arms.

"Xion? Is he sick?" Kairi asked as Xion passed the child to her.

Xion shook her head. "No but before Riku left he said if Aerith and I needed help we could talk to you or Diz. But I couldn't find Diz so – so I have to leave them with you, okay? Aerith will be here soon with everyone else."

"Xion – wait – I have to-" but Xion had turned around before she even finished her own sentence and was at the doors before Kairi even started talking.

Kairi reached for her radio and dispatched someone else to take her place, though she had to repeat her order twice due to the little boy in her arms bawling. It was odd how suddenly Xion had appeared and disappeared. Kairi hadn't heard about any grave attacks in town, but her stomach still knotted at the thought that the orphanage had been raided or perhaps set on fire again.

She cooed to the little boy and let him bury his face in her shirt. Another funny thing was he wasn't the only one who had been in tears, Xion looked close to crying as well.

* * *

><p>Riku woke early to send the information he had gleaned from the meeting, hoping that it would reach Diz and the king before they sent anyone into the Citadel. He also included radio frequencies and translations of common codes used by the Organization for communicating amongst themselves via radio. Sometimes, after a day of buzzing and being buzzed by radio he would refer to the senior members by their numbers in the dining hall. Also, to his fear and amusement, it seemed that Officer Xigbar had scoped out a couple potential promising cadets. Riku hoped "Crazy Eight" would continue to amuse Xigbar so long as he stayed out in the woods.<p>

He believed the frequencies might be some help, but he was hesitant about sending some murmurs he had heard as he made his way to the sleeping quarters, mainly because he wasn't quite sure what they meant.

He had been passing the corridors to the prison cells when he heard the voices of Marluxia and Saix discussing something to do with the General. The corridors were dark except for one room that let a sliver of light slip out from underneath the door. The voices were muted from this distance, but as Riku crept closer he was able to make out some of the discussion.

"Have your spies made any progress on the location or identity of the king?" Saix asked.

"I suppose you are asking me this on orders from the General?" Marluxia asked.

"Don't question my loyalty, Marluxia. I'm not the one who was reprimanded for an illicit affair."

Riku supposed it was Marluxia who gave the amused, low chuckle.

"As I told you yesterday, there's little progress in that area since the king seems to have gone into hiding. The only way we could find him is through a high ranking official in the Twilight Town forces, though even that is doubtable. Despite the size of their army they continue to survive and they are rather organized."

"And those are exactly the reasons why General Xemnas wants him found," Saix replied in cold tones, "He believes that the king is the sole reason for Twilight Town's resistance. A leader and benefactor that cannot be found or detected yet continues to govern his troops effectively is quite the problem. Xemnas realizes this because of how crucial he is himself to the Organization."

"I understand that, but do you truly believe that the king is the only reason Twilight Town continues to exist?"

"I believe in our General as he believes in his top soldiers."

"As do we all," Marluxia replied delicately.

"And what of the other matter I asked you to look into?" Saix asked briskly.

"That matter I have no information on, and before you consider interrogating my subordinates allow me to inform you it is a waste of time. I am the only one who has looked into that matter due to its nature. Imagine the havoc suspicion and accusations would have among the ranks."

There was silence beyond the door and Riku wished it was open even a hairline so he could see the expression on either man's face. He had his suspicions over what they may be talking about and it made his heart drum a little louder. He made a mental note to keep as far from Marluxia as possible. He sighed inwardly at the awkward prowl of a dance the two of them would be doing. Marluxia would be tracking Riku's movements while Riku turned his head to keep an eye on the pink haired man's progress, the both of them circling in the dark.

So, Riku sent words of warning to the king to be careful what woods he wandered seeing as the Organization's dogs were on the prowl.

He didn't send word that the Organization was beginning to feel his presence, mainly because he wasn't a hundred percent sure that that was what Saix had been hinting at, and because he wasn't sure what would happen if he sent word home about it. The king would probably want to pull him out, as would Leon except Leon would let Riku do as he wished. Diz would probably wait patiently for Riku to make his mind up while hoping the boy would remain undercover. And, Riku looked down through his bottom lashes, and if word somehow got back to Sora..._he would want me home_.

The thought of standing on Sora's porch, seeing his figure through the screen door and waiting to be welcomed into warm arms and nuzzling lips, it was a dream, the dream. In his report he also included a short message to Sora, just in case Marluxia was closer to his heels than he thought.

Riku had sent his message and was about to head to the weight room to burn off some of his ill feelings in sweat, when Saix appeared from the sleeping quarters, _Riku's_ sleeping quarters, and locked his sights on the junior officer. Riku stopped, along with his heart, and waited for the senior officer to catch up.

"Good morning, sir," Riku said politely along with a small nod.

Saix returned the nod and got down to business immediately.

"With many of our top officers busy and our best recruits still training, the Organization is a bit strapped for soldiers at the moment. However, I have gained clearance from the General to take you as a guide to the Citadel Ven," Saix's gaze seemed to hold some sort of hidden message because it lingered too long and dug too deep, Riku thought. If Saix was trying to drop a hint about something, Riku wasn't picking it up, nor did he understand why Saix would be dropping hints. Riku had known the superior officer for a couple months and Saix had never been anything but harshly straightforward and favouring towards no one, except maybe Xemnas.

Riku bowed his head respectfully, he really just wanted to hide his blank face and said, "Thank you for the honour, sir."

Saix blinked and continued in his drab tone, "Normally I would have a navigator and two other soldiers to protect our flanks but since our convoy is smaller I will need you to be fully prepared and functioning at your best. Are you able to do this?"

"Of course, sir."

"Then we leave now."

* * *

><p>Diz sat Riku's letter on the corner of his desk. Leon had delivered the envelope a couple minutes ago and had taken up his usual spot in the classroom. There should have been students there, but many were enlisted or simply hunkering down with their families, preparing for the worst one way or another.<p>

When Diz began pinching the wrinkled skin of his forehead, as if plagued by a headache, Leon quietly took the letter and began reading. His fears about Riku were put to rest when the report held nothing about his safety, though he did feel worried for the others mentioned in the letter. Reading the message for Sora brought a half-smile to the corner of his mouth.

"Alerting the king is our top priority but after that you may deliver the personal message to Sora," Diz muttered through his teeth. It was becoming hard to stay on their toes. Eventually the two sides would have to flat-foot it across the battlefield and stop this ridiculous toeing and prancing. Diz feared that day though. Twilight Town was too small and it seemed today they would be losing someone.

"Shouldn't our top priority be to get a message to the troops that just left for the Citadel? We still have time to catch up with them," Leon said as he lowered the letter to stare grimly at Diz.

"There's no point. She has known for days now what kind of danger she is in. Brave girl, she won't back down."

"She still has a right to know," Leon urged, "Saix will be at the citadel today. He has Xemnas' authority and if he presses her for information-"

"She has none to offer. We've kept her in the dark. She knows only the part she plays."

"And he will show no mercy," Leon said frustrated.

"She knows this," Diz said unshaken, softly.

Leon blinked once at Diz then pushed himself off the wall. Let the heavy _thump_ of his boots on the floor answer the fool behind the desk.

"Leon, we have to make our moves so timorously and though Riku's insight is a gift, it is not a save-all," Diz said to Leon's back as he kept walking out of the room.

"We may be playing with the Organization, but I still have my own morals," Leon said over his shoulder, never breaking stride. At the door he paused only to spit, "Xion deserves to make her own choices. We're better than that."

* * *

><p>Saix had driven them to the Citadel and had Riku posted at the side of the jeep with a rifle pointed out of the window. During the entire ride Riku sat rigidly against his door, hoping that none of the Twilight Town soldiers were posted this far North.<p>

The sun had risen by the time Saix slowed the jeep at the Northern side of the fortress among a clump of still leafy trees. He thought he would hear ice breaking as he peeled his fingers from the rifle and opened the car door. Without a word Saix began to walk towards the Western entrance and Riku followed without being ordered.

The entrance was being guarded by the burly guard, Lexaeus, Riku had met on his first day and another officer with long, black dreads. They didn't bother stopping Saix or Riku and they passed through the gates with curt nods.

"Ansem, this will be just like your first patrols when you were still training here," Saix said, not bothering to look over his shoulder as he spoke to Riku. "The only difference is I want you to keep an eye out for anyone you don't recognize or know to be raised outside of the Citadel."

"Yes, sir," Riku replied as affirmatively as he ever did, but his face was three shades paler than normal and his stomached had curled in on itself. He feared that he would recognize someone and if that happened...he could never give one of his own away. He would rather have Saix turn the very rifle he had strapped to his back on him. He would never understand how people could betray their allies like that. He felt that he would be tearing off a piece of himself as he gave a friend away.

"Would you prefer to lead?" Saix offered, "Considering you are more familiar with this territory."

Riku paled even more and didn't reply right away as he thought of some kind of excuse. He knew the basics about the Citadel, he could tell Saix when it was built and what cuisines they were famous for, but other than the trip he had taken with Diz a couple years shy of a decade ago, he had no experience with the streets. Saix turned his head slightly to peer at Riku with one eye.

"I-I don't think that would be a good idea, sir," Riku said quickly.

"Why is that?" Saix asked, coming to a stop and turning around. Riku was glad to see that Saix looked more curious than suspicious, or as curious as concrete could look.

"I...have a lot of memories here," Riku said, bowing his head slightly as if he were sad when really he needed to hide his panic. Riku lowered his voice and hoped he sounded sullen as he said, "I think if I were to lead, I would take us to pointless places, well, pointless to our mission."

Saix surveyed him with cold eyes and asked, "You are stirred to the point of uselessness?"

Riku shrugged and said in a dark, suggestive tone, "Some of the memories are fresh and others...are haunting. I'm sorry, I didn't know it would be like this," Riku paused, hit by a sudden brainwave. He clenched his fist and let his eyes shine bright with all the passion he felt for his real home. "I joined the forces because I wanted to do what I could for those who couldn't."

Saix stared at him with what Riku thought was a sneer, but as Saix spoke Riku believed him to actually be smiling. It just came off as twisted probably because it was rarely practiced.

"Then you are in the right place," Saix turned and began walking again.

Riku followed, letting his gaze drag along the ground with true sadness for not being able to see the ones he loved. He looked up as Saix spoke again.

"In the future I expect you to be able to work through your grief. You should learn how to hide your emotions. Your enemies will make weapons from them if they are strong. Emotional pain is the worst because there is no easy antidote. That is why Marluxia and those who work for him use it to break even the toughest of enemies."

Riku could agree to that considering how wretched he felt at night when he was alone with no distractions. All he felt was pricks in his mind from the deeply embedded memories. He should have been pressing against Sora or bending over him with a flushed face. There were some nights when he would fall asleep with his hand in his hair pretending it was Sora's, and he would fall asleep, but it wasn't the same.

They walked in silence, turning their heads left and right to peer into faces and monitor movements. People cowered after a glance from him. The black coat did wonders for people's spirits, as if it blinded hope. He really disliked the power of it.

It was getting on in the day, the dirty streets and crumbling, grey marble buildings were becoming crowded with people, though he and Saix were still given a wide berth.

They were ascending the fortress by walking up a stone path that overlooked a gully where, even Riku knew, most of the nomads lived among the rubble. They hadn't gone down there because the streets were narrow, winding, and sometimes more living quarters than roads. Their efforts would be wasted scanning the many lazy and grimy faces of the peasant kings of the fortress.

Riku hadn't noticed Saix's stare since he was too busy looking out over the ridge. This spot was very much like the one in his torn photo. Riku had a good memory and he was sure he and Sora had been higher up on the staircase when the picture was taken, but he thought of Sora all the same.

The wind swept through his fingers and rattled the rifle on his back, forcing off the imagination of Sora resting his head on Riku's shoulder and entwining fingers.

He startled when he saw Saix looking over his shoulder at him and became more alarmed when he came to a stop.

Riku wondered if Saix was a mind reader because he said, slowly as he looked out over the cliff, "That picture...it was taken along here, was it not?"

"Yes, a little higher up though," Riku admitted, also looking over the cliffs. The breeze cooled his cheeks and carried some of his fears away like feathers.

There was a silence between them as they watched people move among the marble that looked grey in the shade and white in the sunlight. Riku didn't find the silence all that uncomfortable. It was tense because he didn't know what to expect, but it seemed shared or had an air of understanding. For the first time Riku wondered what had driven Saix to joining the Organization. The chilling man didn't seem to care too much for his fellow officers and even less for his subordinates. So why would he join the offending side when he seemed so impassive about the people he was fighting for? Would finding out the reason make Riku's task easier? Or should he care anyways because Saix was a human and deserved to be thought of as more than a breathing wall? Either way, Riku didn't have the slightest clue how to drain a rock of its water.

Riku wouldn't have been more shell-shocked if a bomb went off under his feet as Saix said in the same chilled tone he always used, yet somehow softer, "Cadet, once our patrol is done you may have a few brief minutes to meet with your family here, then we will return to base."

"Thank you," Riku said surprised, "but I don't actually have family."

"You are an orphan?"

"Yeah," Riku paused and then turned his head from the view below to look at the man on his level. The question was pushed out of him by his own heart without any real contemplation. "Are you...sir?"

Saix gave him a brief look before saying coldly to the wind, "I am."

Riku grunted and it almost sounded like a warm chuckle that just got caught in the lump in his throat.

"The boy in your photo...your brother?"

"No," Riku said shaking his head, "A very good friend."

"Then you may meet with him when we are done," Saix consented.

Riku allowed himself the glow of the dream Saix had given him but responded despondently, "That's not possible either."

Saix turned to stare at him lengthily and Riku thought that he was beginning to get a better feeling of what Saix truly was. It was like a layer of him melted to reveal the source of the coldness as a hard lump of sorrow, continually spinning icicles to keep other's warmth and emotions out.

"That is regrettable," Saix said and sounded as if he might actually have meant it.

"I'll see him again, someday," Riku said to his feet, really hoping it was true. Sora believed it was true.

"If you believe so, however, I would suggest working to bring to justice those who took him from you. It is the least you can do while still here."

"Is that what you're – what you would do?" Riku asked apprehensively. He really didn't want to hear that someone from Twilight Town had taken someone from Saix. Riku didn't want to sympathize with his enemies, it was bad enough masquerading as one of them.

"I do what I can while I can for those who cannot," Saix consented, "Wouldn't you?"

Riku wasn't sure what Saix meant and had a feeling that his idea of doing what he could was different from Saix's. He was saved from answering when a loud bang shook the fortress' top and trembled down to its base. Saix's radio buzzed, telling them that the Citadel had gone into lockdown and that the ammunition's factory was barely standing and no longer functioning.

"We go to search," Saix said, turning abruptly from the cliff.

* * *

><p>Mickey sat upon his throne in his large echoing throne room, listening to the warning Diz and Leon had brought. Diz stated what was best for the king to do; to remain in his castle and disassociate himself from Twilight Town until Xemnas had given up on his obsession to find their benefactor. Leon stood stoically at the bottom of the king's throne. Had he been made of marble he would have made a handsome and threatening statue.<p>

At first Mickey appeared rather worried, bowing his head and his eyes dropping to the floor. Then his brows furrowed and he raised a hand to silence Diz's explanation.

"I can't just vanish now, not when the wall is not even built all the way around. My guards should be posted throughout the city to protect the people," Mickey deflated, knowing exactly how Diz would respond but murmuring nonetheless, "There is so much more that I could do if my hands were not tied."

"I understand, Your-"

"Your Majesty! Sora is here to see you!" Donald squabbled happily as he ran into the room. Sora and Goofy weren't far behind.

When Sora caught sight of Leon his face fell and his eyes grew wide with dread.

"Leon, is-"

"Riku is fine as far as I know," Leon cut in, for which Sora seemed grateful since his veil of dread lifted. Leon smiled as he said, "I have a message for you from him."

"Do you have it on you?" Sora asked, breaking from the king's guards and causing Donald to cry out when he was bumped aside. Sora's eyes roved Leon's body, peeking at the pockets and flaps of his coat.

"I can't actually give you the letter since it contains other matters, but I can relay the message. After I am done speaking with the king," Leon said crossing his arms over his chest.

"The king's in trouble?" Sora asked, whirling about to gaze upon the little man sitting in his throne. Mickey merely smiled while Donald and Goofy shared a laugh over Sora's swinging attention. Diz did not look impressed at all. His lips had fallen into a terse line when Sora had burst into the king's throne room and the wrinkles around his lips became more prominent with each sway of Sora's antics.

"I'm fine, Sora," Mickey said with a kind smile. He nodded to Leon dismissively and said, "Conversing with Leon would probably be more informative over anything that I know about Riku, seeing as my information comes from him. Why don't you take Sora into the hall and give him Riku's message? Thank you for your presence today."

Leon bowed to the king and jerked his head towards the door, meaning for Sora to follow. Sora's brows crinkled excitedly then worriedly, but he waved to Mickey who returned the gesture. Curious as to what Riku had to say, Donald and Goofy escorted Sora and Leon into the hall.

Leon halted just outside the room. The people in the throne room and Sora and Leon just outside, waited to resume their conversations until the double doors had closed.

Diz turned to Mickey with a shrewd look in his eyes as he said, "Sora is rather impudent and strong hearted. Respectfully, of course, he reminds me of you actually, my friend."

"That's probably why Donald doesn't mind him," Mickey replied happily.

"Don't tell me he crosses a battlefield just to visit your guards," Diz scoffed. His brows furrowed with confusion as he mused, "How did he even meet them or you?"

Mickey shrugged and said, "Sora makes friends wherever he goes, and no, he doesn't come all this way every week to visit Donald and Goofy," Mickey said solemnly, "He visits to find out news on Riku. Why do you deny him that information?"

"He's better off being kept in the dark. Information is like a beacon to the people that prowl in darkness. Should he have it the Organization would swarm to him and I can only predict how Riku would respond. Although, if you are giving him information then I suppose there is no point in keeping it from him now."

"Denying him information only makes him worry, which makes him impulsive, I think," Mickey said shaking his head, "He's upset because he feels he can do very little..."

Diz looked to the door, behind which Sora was in all likelihood receiving Riku's message. Diz had been forming a plan in his mind for a while, though even he truly wished he would never have to execute it. War was the business of life and death but he disliked putting price tags on lives.

* * *

><p>Donald and Goofy stood sentinel outside the double doors, explaining their presence as a guard to keep an eye open for eavesdroppers.<p>

Sora put his hands on his hips and asked sarcastically, "And exactly _who_ would want information on mine and Riku's love life?"

"Ill mannered guards," Goofy replied for which Donald kicked him.

Leon shot Sora a questioning look and Sora replied with, "I don't care if they hear."

"Then I'll relay it. The note said-"

"Wait! I want it word for word," Sora protested, waving his fingers in Leon's face. "Read it off the letter."

"I have it memorized. It was a very short note," Leon said. He grinned as Sora and the guards deflated with disappointed '_aww_'s.

"Riku's message is," Leon continued, his cheeks flushing ever so slightly and he prepared for what Riku had written to come out of his mouth. "'To my best friend, stay out of my head, you're making my job harder. Love, your better half.'"

The guards let out happier sounding _awws_ while Sora closed his eyes and imagined Leon's voice to be Riku's. It wasn't that hard, both were more serious than goofy.

After his vision of Riku faded to darkness behind his lids, his eyes flew open and he said emphatically, "Leon, can you tell Riku-"

"No."

* * *

><p>It was still a half hour run to the top of the fortress where most of the merchants had set up stalls or stores in the Citadel's inlets and walls. After only ten minutes of running, Saix's radio buzzed again, informing him that the vandal had been caught and was currently being questioned. Riku couldn't tell who had been caught, but his stomach was a knotted mess as he listened to someone screaming before the transmission cut out.<p>

They still had a ten minute run to the fortress' peak when one of the Organization's jeeps rounded the corner ahead of them and braked to allow Saix and Riku to hop in the back. Xaldin turned the jeep around and gunned it up the slope, forcing pedestrians close to the walls or edges of the cliffs.

"Is Marluxia at the summit?" Saix asked, climbing into the front seat beside Xaldin.

"No, he is back at camp today. Xemnas had pulled one of Xigbar's shining stars from the camp and had him posted nearby to ask questions and record notes while Lexaeus loosened her tongue...and her jaw."

Riku growled, though they probably wouldn't have heard over the rushing wind or engine's snarl.

"Has she said anything?" Saix asked, not even batting an eye at Xaldin's insinuating tone.

"No. The new information recruit says the vandal knows nothing, but we wanted your opinion just to make sure," Xaldin said, making the wheels growl as they bit into the gravel and skidded to a stop.

They all hopped out and headed towards a small alcove that was probably a lookout tower when the fortress had served its purpose. There were a few people milling about, listening to a weak, sobbing voice plead from the alcove. When the civilians saw Saix's party approaching they scattered. Riku lagged behind, trying to make his face seem uncaring and hard, but he wasn't sure he was successful. His lips felt tight if that was any indication of solidarity.

When he first walked into the tower he didn't see who it was being questioned; he heard her screech bounce off the walls in the dank, little space. He watched Lexaeus bend and lift a pitiful someone by the collar of her coat with his one hand, while the other lifted her left arm. Her wrist looked swollen and was twisted at an odd angle. A short pale faced boy with blue hair nodded at Lexaeus who squeezed the girl's wrist where it was broken. She sobbed and tried kicking her captor, managing to land a foot painfully in the burly man's shin. He grunted but didn't let go until the blue haired cadet nodded again.

"That probably feels a lot better, doesn't it, Xion?" the cadet asked with feigned compassion.

Riku's face fell out of its grimace into shock followed by tight-lipped fury. He squeezed past Xaldin and sidestepped to the left to be able to see around Lexaeus. Holding her wrist, and shaking with pain and fear, was a bloodless Xion. When she didn't reply to Zexion, Lexaeus took a threatening step closer, causing Xion to cry out for mercy and tremble even more violently. Riku nearly rushed forward to rip Lexaeus arm out of its socket for even moving an inch closer to his sister, but Zexion held a hand up and no one, not even the senior officers, moved.

"Just a moment, sir," Zexion said to Lexaeus and turned to Xion. His voice was so tender and endearing, causing Xion to look up at him with wild eyes, as he asked, "Please, Xion, don't be afraid. If you can tell us anything about the king's location we would be happy to stop the pain and heal you."

"I – I don't know anything!" She shrieked, bursting into tears and curling in on herself. She rocked forward with a high-pitched whine that echoed in Riku's chest. "I – I don't know! I don't know! What king? What do you want to know? NO! _Please!_"

She cowered as Xaldin came forward with a nightstick. Riku gripped Xaldin's shoulder and this time it was Saix who held his hand up for the tormenter to back off. Xaldin didn't seem to think anything of Riku's sudden grab, he probably took it as a preventative action rather than one of fury. He shrugged off Riku's shaking fist.

Saix stepped forward and stared down at Xion who was as curled in on herself as a leaf in a flame.

"What is your rank?" he asked her.

"I don't – I don't – I'm not," she said as she hyperventilated, flinching as Saix spoke.

"Destroying the arms factory was your only task? The only thing you were trained for?"

"Y-yes."

"And you are from Twilight Town?"

"Yes."

"But you were born here, in the Citadel Ven?"

"Yes."

"What was your job before sabotaging the Organization?"

Xion hid her face in her hand and shook her head. Riku's heart went out to her for being so brave that she would refuse information that involved their brothers and sisters. He wanted to step into the ring of enemy officers and stand over her, dare them to touch her_ one more time_.

"Grab her," Saix ordered Lexaeus.

Xion screamed and Riku barked out, "_Don't!_"

The room turned to look at him with confused and glaring eyes, but the hardest person's gaze to meet was Xion's. It broke his heart and snapped a couple synapses in his brain to see her look of surprise, which turned to relief then to confusion as she took in his Organization uniform. Tears fell easily from her eyes.

Saix was staring at him coldly, his suspicion on the rise. Riku cleared his throat and donned a look of composure as he pointed at Xion, "I know this one. She left the Citadel when she was six and was taken to an orphanage in Twilight Town where she's been working since. Or at least that's what I've gathered since she kept coming back here to take orphans to Twilight Town."

The room was silent, even Xion who stared at him wordlessly, in pain and scared though not as much as she had been a few minutes ago. Somehow the way she had calmed down made him feel guilty, like she believed that so long as her big brother was here then everything was alright. The same boy that had pushed her on swings could lower guns and clear paths between a rank of dark uniforms.

Everyone turned to look from Riku to Xion, except for one set of eyes. Riku felt the cadet with blue hair staring at him and it made his spine crawl.

"A nanny?" Saix said emotionlessly.

Xaldin chuckled out, "Twilight Town must be getting desperate."

While everyone was distracted by this hilarious tidbit of information, Riku shot Xion a wretched look, wordlessly apologizing for all that she had suffered. With her one good hand she brushed the tears from racoon eyes and tried to give him a smile, but her cheeks shook with the effort.

"So you truly know nothing of Twilight Town's goings-on?" Saix asked.

Again, Riku's heart hurt as she seemed to gather some strength from his presence and refused to answer Saix. She closed her eyes and turned her face away when he spoke to her.

Saix stared at her for a moment more then appealed to Riku.

"Put an end to her then," he said harshly and moved aside for Riku to step forward.

Xion's eyes snapped open and her lips trembled. She and Riku both paled. His body went stiff and the gun that hung from his shoulder felt like it was dragging him to his knees.

"No!" Xion protested, shying away from Riku as he stepped forward. He had no intention of actually hurting her, but the idea of being close was appealing. He honestly didn't know how his feet had moved him forward, but there he was. There was Xion, protesting, "Please! Anyone but him!"

Riku shared a look with Saix and he knew he must have looked horrible because Saix's eyes were wandering every crack in his face.

"Why?" Saix asked Xion, but she had no answer. She buried her face in her hands, too shaken by everything going on to even try to think.

Saix looked to him and Riku cleared his throat, his words coming out in a rasp, "For six years we were brother and sister. It shouldn't end like this. She didn't have a choice to stay in the Citadel, they took her away."

"She had a choice to join the Twilight Town Regiment," Saix said.

"No...Diz..." Xion said through her fingers.

"Diz?" Saix asked.

Xion cried something into her hands which no one but Riku seemed able to discern.

"She said he's a professor at her high school. He asked her to do it."

Riku didn't miss the look of loathing that crossed Saix's face at the recognition of who Xion was talking about. Saix removed the gun from his belt and breezed past Riku.

"I have no qualms sending a message to Professor Ansem," Saix said frigidly, pointing his gun at Xion's head as Lexaeus sat her up and stepped back again. Riku's brain was sending sparks from one nerve to another, but the path wasn't clear. _Gun. Xion. Saix. Diz. Gun. Message. Xion. Gun. Bullet._ "Though I seriously doubt the fool would care. I'll allow you some final words, girl."

With a trembling voice Xion said, "I love my sisters and," Xion stole a glance at Riku's miserable face. _Gun. Bullet. Xion_, "and my brothers."

Riku's hand stretched out in a reach toward Xion as Saix pulled the trigger.

* * *

><p>Sora was just reaching the edge of town and the moon glowed full and bright on the path before him. A smile came to his lips as he thought of Riku's words and Leon's rouged cheeks as he said them. Both were high points of his day.<p>

Sora was startled out of his happiness when he saw lights bobbing near the crab apple tree he used to meet Riku, Kairi and Naminé at. Two people with flashlights were skulking about the tree in the fog. Sora paused as he got nearer and the people with flashlights must have heard him approach since the lights flashed blindingly in his eyes. He had to put his hand to his face, but through his fingers he saw long black coats. Interestingly enough, the Organization members jogged away from him and hopped in their jeep. In the red glare from their tail lights turning the fall fog to bloody dust Sora saw the figure of a third person swinging limply by the neck from the bough of the tree.

Sora's heart grew calm as the night then started with a roaring rage.

"YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!" Sora screeched while racing towards the jeep. As he ran he picked up a fist sized rock and whipped it. The rock slapped the flank of the jeep and it took off like a whipped horse, kicking up smaller stones in Sora's face and causing him to slip to his knees. He panted hard from his mad dash and from the anger and sorrow he felt. He didn't know who hung from the tree but whether it was his closest friend or worst enemy he wouldn't want this disgrace for anyone. And as for the people who had done this...they could be angels that spent their weekends helping little old ladies across the street but they were shit to him.

A second crunch of wheels could be heard from behind and they came to a stop near the tree. The white headlights of a medical jeep shone on the body as it twisted eerily in the breeze.

"Sora?" said a surprised Kairi.

Three sets of feet touched the ground, two running towards him as he sat paralyzed in the fog, staring up at Xion's lifeless face. Someone had been kind enough to close her eyes at least.

"K-Kairi?" Sora said, a little uncertain of what was going on.

Someone knelt at his side and waved a little hand before his eyes and spoke kindly in his ear.

"Sora, can you hear me? Are you okay?" Naminé asked with more confidence than he ever remembered her having. She turned to someone who had come to stand next to her. "Sora's in shock. Leon, can you grab me a blanket for him? It should be in the back-"

"No," Sora said, getting to his feet much to Naminé's advising against doing so. In a bit of a daze he turned a wildly to look for Leon. "Leon, where – oh, there you are. Leon, what's going on? That's...Xion."

"I know," Leon said with a spark of anger in his voice. Sora looked up to the taller man, he saw the severe line Leon's lips made. He thought Leon looked like he might be sick. Sora's own stomach found that thought appealing, actually. "A civilian saw what those bastards were doing and reported to us. I had a feeling I knew who it would be...up there. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, but why would they do this? Xion's a girl, I mean, a young girl, she – y'know."

"To send a message. Can you help me get her down? I don't want to just drop her."

"Yeah, yeah of course."

Leon was so tall and the tree quite short that he was able to gather her in his arms with the noose still around her neck. Sora clambered up the tree, really quite against Naminé's advice, but not outside her understanding. He felt the cold bark of the bough sapping his heat as he untied the knot. Leon gently held her in one arm while he used his other hand to slip the noose from her neck. As he turned toward the jeep Kairi gasped and put a hand to her mouth. Tears welled in her eyes as she caught sight of Xion's bruised cheeks. Naminé went to Leon's side, her hands out to feel for a pulse but Leon shook his head and Naminé's hands dropped.

"Hey, Leon," Sora said as he dropped from the tree onto wobbly legs. He tailed the older man to the back of the jeep. "What message are they trying to send? Why Xion...like this?"

Leon gently laid Xion in the back on a stretcher and Naminé clambered in to sit by Xion's side, brush her bangs from her closed eyes.

"What the Organization is trying to say is," Leon said as he straightened up and looked meaningfully at Sora, "is that anyone who tries to deceive the Organization gets a fate worse than death."

* * *

><p><em>Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up<em>, Riku told his mind as he leaned his head out the window, crushing his eyes and letting the wind draw out his tears. As discreetly as he could, so as not to raise Saix's suspicion, Riku soundlessly coughed out some of his breakfast from that morning.

Seeing Xion hanging from the tree and knowing whose hands it was that tied the noose around her neck...Naminé's garden...Sora's livid scream moments ago..._Shut the fuck up_.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary: **Riku is now part of the odd Saix goings-on in his hometown and he has is confirmed that a war is gradually working bat towards a peaking point. Sora has noticed shit some changes in Riku's patterns and he crazy is just as determined as Riku is chapt to save his home town to understand XVI what is breaking between them. Many people made and make mistakes that have and will leave wounds that may become infected and refuse to heal, or ones that will scar over with the help of a friendly hand. *smile*

**Themes:** There is some romance between Sora and Riku as well as some mention of Axel/Roxas. Friendship in times when it is needed for strength. Adventure in the discovery of who really is the hero of the story. Angst for young men failing to see the light peeking through their dark actions. Hurt/comfort in the loss of lovers, brothers, beauty and pride. And humour, sometimes dark, for a break in all that drama.

**Author's Note: **Happy RAK (Random Act of Kindness) day, erm, or at least in this part of Canada it is.

* * *

><p><strong>Gunning for You<strong>

Though Riku stuck close to Saix's side, which Saix seemed to have no qualms with, he was constantly leaning away from the senior officer, always having to check his reflection to make sure he wasn't involuntarily sneering at the man. He had felt some sympathy for his superior and could relate to a great deal of what he assumed was Saix's greatest pain. After Xion's death, Riku felt physically ill at the thought of even sharing a breath with his senior officer. He had murdered someone who did not deserve to die and Riku could do very little to ease her pain.

Riku spent the days after Xion's death hating a select group of people. He felt anger rise up his throat at the sight of Saix, but when he was alone on patrol or tossing in his bed, he was furious with Diz who should have shared some of Xion's pain. He hoped that he would be able to meet the man soon before his anger petered out and became a cool sadness. Sometimes he wanted to stand before Diz, shaking his head and calmly tell him what a pathetic old man he was. Other times he imagined pulling Diz over his desk by the scruff of his shirt to bring them nose to nose, then snarl at him all the pain Riku had witnessed.

There was another person that made Riku tremble with rage and other emotions that bordered on madness and deep depression, and he couldn't get away from him. Some mornings and night when Riku would be dripping with either sweat or water from the shower, he would glimpse himself in the mirror and wonder why, despite all his physical efforts or intense scrubbing, why he would see in himself a mark or spark of dark energy that was always there. At first he saw it as a scar from some horrible battle. Then, as Xemnas gave the orders to rip Twilight Town apart to its core and drag out the king, Riku was deployed to search his home in vain. He watched houses and families burn to their roots, saw bullets kick up dust in the street, and _then_ he came to see mar in him _as_ himself. He couldn't separate Junior Officer Ansem from Riku of Twilight Town. Everything Ansem did in the Organization with Riku's hands became Riku's crime. There was no difference between the two, other than that Riku loved Sora and hailed from Twilight Town, but since Riku was always in Hallow Bastion, what proof did he have that he lived and loved anyone of those things? The taut muscles in his arms worked only for the Organization no matter how much his mind and heart beat against them.

Saix found him overseeing some of the newest recruits, barking at them when the rim of their spit shined boots brushed the line and scrutinizing them silently the rest of the time. If Saix found anything wrong with his method of training, he said nothing. He did remark upon Riku's grey appearance.

"You're looking a bit under rested, Ansem," Saix said with as much warmth as the fall wind.

"I'm just restless," Riku answered, staring tensely at the recruits as they did push-ups on the frozen lawn. "Guess I'm just worried about how operations are going in Twilight Town. I feel like we're wandering in the dark and the war has been going on for a year."

"The war has been going on for a lot longer than that, few people know of that fact though. As for operations," Saix said, his normally cool tone animated with insinuation, "You need not worry. Though we still walk in uncertainty, we believe we have found the light at the end of the tunnel."

"Meaning?" Riku asked, his clasped hands behind his back clenching into fists. _Whose light are you going to snuff now?_

"As we speak, a select group of officers is infiltrating Twilight Town's borders in search for their king."

Riku's shoulders turned to stone as he felt something suggestive in Saix's words. This didn't sound like blind bombardment of Twilight Town, it sounded as if Saix had some reason to believe that they had a scent in their muzzles that trailed towards their prey. The triumphant gleam to Saix's eyes had Riku worried for many reasons. For one, if Mickey was found out then the already bursting state of things would dissolve into a bloodbath that could escalate to a many kingdom affair. Another worrying thing was where the Organization had picked up this trail. Riku, though he wasn't a full ranking officer, thought he was pretty high up considering he was Saix's apprentice and was often invited to sit in discussions between Xemnas and Saix. He had heard nothing about other incidents like Xion's in discussions, but the pessimist in him said he was wilfully blind. And if he had the choice, he never wanted to see a friend, sister or good person die again.

Riku stifled his anxieties and said with a placid face, "This is good news but I'm surprised. I had no idea we were so close to catching the king."

"I believe that is because you were not at the meeting called by Marluxia a couple nights ago. You received an invitation to that, did you not?"

Riku didn't even blink as he lied, "No, I didn't. It must have gotten lost."

Riku had got the message straight from the mouth of a young soldier, but he had ignored it and given a wide berth to the information sector and prison cells of headquarters as he did most days. Any mention of Marluxia's name sent Riku in the opposite direction. If Marluxia was tracking his movements he wasn't about to sit pretty in a room the pink haired man was conducting. Of course, if Marluxia desired to follow Riku then it would be done and over the past couple days he had been able to station himself near or in Riku's presence. During those times Riku tried not to meet the man's gaze but stole quick glances instead. Once he had exchanged a look with Marluxia and casually but quickly turned away. If eyes were the organ that talked, Marluxia's had probably said "You and I have something interesting to discuss."

Saix stared down at him with some odd emotion playing in his gaze, as if he were trying to form a question but wasn't sure if he really wanted to ask it of his loyal apprentice.

Riku let a lopsided smirk grace his lips as he joked drily, "I've been working the new recruits hard. I wouldn't be surprised if they hid information from me out of spite. I would if I was in their position."

Saix scrutinized him a second more before a smirk twisted his own lips. His eyes remained cold.

"Officer Xigbar's troops will be returning over the next couple of days. You have been serving without leave or break in their absence. After today you may have some time to rest."

The grey clouds overhead rumbled slightly and slowly let their burden fall in spaced and fat drops.

Saix began to walk away but paused to say over his shoulder with an eerie sort of admiration in his voice, "You raise your recruits with a stiff and sealed mind which I see no fault in. Let them grumble against you; I would train them in such a way."

Riku nodded curtly and Saix walked away, leaving him to chill in the rain. Saix's words left Riku's reflection buried beneath a cool spreading of white webbing like a fracture in a mirror, obscuring himself from himself all the more. He hated how alike he and Saix seemed these days, hiding the best of themselves behind messes and obscurities.

* * *

><p>Though he hadn't been expressively told, Riku assumed Marluxia would be busy conducting his team that would be seeking out the king. He took Marluxia's absence as an opportunity to catch up on some of the information he had missed at the meeting. It was risky to sneak into a senior officer's office, let alone the office belonging to the head of the information department, but if King Mickey was in danger and there was any way to protect or warn him, he had to know. Though his fingers worked quickly on the lock to Marluxia's office door in the prison wing, he felt dread weigh heavy in him and heard the whispers in his mind that he was too late already.<p>

He slipped in like a shadow and made straight for the filing cabinets behind the small, polished wooden desk. Riku noticed how immaculate the walls of the office looked and he hoped that if the neatness of the entire room was any indication of how the man kept his records then the cabinets should be easy enough to sift through.

He pulled open the top drawer of the first cabinet and it slid out without a squeak. He perused the files but saw nothing except notes, not unlike the messages he had delivered when he was first taken under Saix's shadowy wing. The second drawer was locked, as was the third and fourth. Frustration crawled under his skin as he thought about breaking the locks, but his agitation proved useful as he turned around to look for a key and spotted a couple folders out on Marluxia's desk. He growled at himself and even snarled out an '_idiot'_ at how he had overlooked the _only_ things on Marluxia's desk.

His self anger was replaced by excitement as he took a quick glance at the contents of the first folder and realized it had the information had had been looking for. But what he hadn't been looking for caught and held his eye; the folder beneath the one dedicated to information on the royal hunt silenced the world around him. His heart echoed eerily in his ear. There was a folder entitled with nothing but his name. His _real_ name.

With a shaking hand being the only thing not numb to his body, Riku slowly picked up the folder and flipped it open. His shaky movements and feelings of futility caused the contents to spill with a papery shrill on to the spotless table. There all his secrets glared up at him, naked of their wrappings.

Marluxia knew everything about him from the orphanage where he grew up to the grades he had gotten in grade school. He even had notes on Sora...Riku wanted to set fire to room and if he wasn't so scared, the jotted notes on Sora would have been enough to make sparks fly from his mind.

Through his scrabbling and flailing fear he wondered why Marluxia hadn't reported him yet. _What the hell is he waiting for? He has more on me than I've ever been able to sap from the Organization._

He felt like the world had stopped and the only one moving was himself as he fell off the playing board and continued to fall. But the world hadn't stopped and the opening door was proof enough of that.

Riku seemed to perceive the world slowly as if he was below water and was floating to the surface. Marluxia opened the door to his office, followed by a young, blonde, female soldier. The pink haired man and Riku met each other's eyes with alarm at first, the senior officer still with his hand on the door and Riku standing like stone behind the desk. Then Riku's head broke surface and his confusion vanished as he drew a knife from his belt and rushed at Marluxia.

"What the fuck?" the female soldier screeched as she burst from behind the senior officer and stood with her shoulders arched and teeth bared like an angry cat.

Confused and startled, Riku hesitated and lost whatever momentum and surprise he had in making the first move. He raised his knife again as the girl screamed a curse at him and prepared herself to leap at him.

"Larxene, stand down!" Marluxia ordered sternly like any commanding officer would, but he wrapped his arms around her and drew his shoulders around her as if to shield her from Riku's assault. Again, Riku stuttered to a halt.

Marluxia kicked the door closed while Larxene struggled and snarled in his arms.

"Marluxia, I'm not some fucking, little bird! Let me go!" and she succeeded in pulling away from him with a well placed jab to his stomach with her elbow.

Marluxia grunted but straightened up soon after, saying, "Bird, woman, or man, you are still susceptible to death by knives."

Larxene glared at him with a fierce light in her eyes, but her face seemed to deepen in colour as she said, "Yeah, well, so are _you_. So don't protect me while your own ass needs saving because I sure as hell will _not_ be protecting it."

Riku began creeping around to the side of the room that was closer to the door while Marluxia had a time trying to smooth Larxene's risen fur. Unfortunately, the senior officer proved to have an amazing sense when it came to people for he spotted Riku moving straightaway.

"If you would sheath your weapon then perhaps we can have a talk," Marluxia said rather calmly for a man who had found his office broken into and inhabited by a spy with a knife.

Riku _tch_ed and asked sardonically as he motioned to the folders on the desk, "What's there to talk about when you know all about me? Or did you want to know my favourite colour too?"

"Just when I thought I had escaped Axel's big mouth," Larxene said amusedly. Riku gave her a withering glare but she continued to smirk.

"Sadly, Larxene, you will have to return to the training camp tonight," Marluxia said, looking from the scandalized woman to a wary Riku. He regarded the knife and guarded stance Riku held as he said mysteriously, "This changes things."

"Fine," Larxene huffed and swatted Marluxia away as she sauntered to the door, "Have your little secrets with this Twilight Trash. I hear he likes men anyways so my presence isn't really needed. Or I suppose I read that information in his file."

Despite all his stoniness and rigidly controlled emotions, Riku blushed at the fact that Marluxia had recorded that tidbit of information.

Marluxia put his arm out in front of Larxene to bar her way out. She sneered at him but didn't draw back when he bent his mouth to her ear.

In a murmur that Riku probably wasn't supposed to hear, he said, "I'm not leaving you out of this, just out of suspicion. It's bad enough that Zexion's after him but he quarters with you and I would hate for him to find you out. That boy is obsessed with rank and is very good at weaselling out information from the smallest cracks in the human heart. I don't want that fate for you."

"I wouldn't give you away, idiot," Larxene hissed, though her tone and expression was much more subdued and closer to thistle down than the actual prickles.

"Then I will see you in a couple days," he said and let his arm fall from her path.

"And you'll be fine on your own with this one?" she asked, tossing her head in Riku's direction. "He looks smaller than the other but he's been tucked under Saix's arm for quite a while. The bastard would cut your throat and probably smile as the life drains out of you."

"I'm sure once I explain things he will be docile," Marluxia said with a smile. Larxene rolled her eyes but left the room with only one more threatening look in Riku's direction. Marluxia closed the door and surveyed Riku again, then said reasonably, "Would please put the knife away? If anyone were to walk in on us they would be quite suspicious."

"This knife it kind of like my key to the exit. Are you armed?" Riku asked, looking Marluxia up and down without seeing any weapons on his person but that didn't mean he didn't have them.

With Riku's permission, Marluxia took out a knife from his belt and a nightstick and set them on the ground. Once he had done so then Riku sheathed his own weapon as well as his worries about Marluxia turning him in, though he kept both close to hand and mind.

"So, Riku, as you can see by the documents on my desk, I have known about your true existence for quite some time," Marluxia began in an even tone.

"And you haven't turned me in," Riku replied. His eyes narrowed as he asked, "Why's that?"

"Because I have plans."

"I see. So you'll reveal me when the opportunity is best for you?" Riku asked with a snort. Even amongst their fellows the Organization didn't play fair. He really had to wonder how they got anything done around here when everyone was busy laying down landmines for others.

"In one way or another," Marluxia said with a shrug. His eyes flashed and his tone became less guarded and more imploring as he said, "Though I would rather have your help than have to threaten you for it."

"My help?" Riku sneered and his tone dripped thick sarcasm over Marluxia's appeal, "After all the things I've seen you people do and, sadly, done for you, do you really think I'm an idiot or a coward? I'm not handing the king over to you. Besides, didn't you have some adventure today over him? I guess you didn't actually have any leads on that since I don't hear any celebrating in the halls."

Marluxia cracked a grin as he said, "You are astute. Did Leon know this when he chose you to be the undercover agent?"

The taunting air Riku had dropped immediately as he asked with a little fire in his voice, "How did you know I was trained by Leon? Do you have him here?"

"Yes," Marluxia replied without hesitation, though he must have known Riku would have be furious since his biography was spread all over the desk.

Riku didn't bother with the knife as he got close to Marluxia, he would use his fist for this occasion.

"If you want to keep your face pretty for your girlfriend you might want to tell me where he is," Riku ground out. Judging by a hiss outside the door, Larxene had not gone back to the training camp yet.

"So you can set him free and blow your cover? I don't think so and, knowing Leon as I do, he wouldn't want you to either."

Riku would have liked to spit in the other man's face that he didn't know Leon, or what was best for him. Who the hell did Marluxia think he was? He couldn't know Leon by torturing him, but Marluxia's report did sound like something Leon would say.

Undaunted by Riku's proximity, Marluxia said almost kindly, "I can't make you promises because I don't have as much authority as I would like over my own prisoners, but I will try to leave Leon as intact as possible. Honestly though, I'm not sure how possible that will be considering he led us on a false trail today."

Riku snorted and said, "I guess that's as good as I can get from you dogs," and he backed off a step from Marluxia's face. He let a smile slip onto his face for Leon's bravery and cunning, though he was surprised that Leon had any acting ability considering how wooden his expression usually was.

"Trust me, it was not my idea to bring to light my knowledge of you. That I wanted to keep in my hand for as long as possible but now you know my trump card and you can easily beat it, not without risk though. This is why I ask you to cooperate with me."

Riku crossed his arms and asked warily, "So you want the king?"

"More or less."

Riku blew a hot breath out of his nose and said through bared teeth, "What's the point in me cooperating if you won't?"

"I'll tell you what I can but I'm sure that you can understand that I can't disclose anything and everything, no matter how much I want your aid," Marluxia said with an apologetic dip of his head. "Would you like to sit down?"

Marluxia pointed to a cold metal chair in the corner of the room that Riku supposed he probably used for detaining persons being questioned, judging by the leather restraints dangling from the arms. Riku gave the chair a disdained look and then Marluxia a sceptical one, though the man appeared to be genuine.

"No thanks."

"Fair, but would you take offense if I stayed where I am at the door? I need you to hear me out."

"Fine," Riku said with a roll of his shoulders. He wasn't happy about it but it was probably rude enough to break into a senior officer's office, rifle through his cabinets and spread papers over the desk. If it had been Saix's office Riku probably would have been shot right outside the door. His mind flinched at the memory of the last time Saix held a smoking gun in his hand.

"For both our sakes, we need to keep this discussion short," Marluxia began, "I am already an important member to the Organization and you are climbing the ranks almost as fast as your friend Axel...or perhaps not," Marluxia said with a sly smile as Riku drew a lip up in a sneer at the thought of the redhead as his friend.

"These are the facts that I can tell you: I have known about your true identity for over a month and I'm not going to give you away unless you plan to give me away."

Marluxia paused to give Riku's face a serious inspection. Riku keep his features neutral while the gears of his mind turned over what he knew about Marluxia. There was treason for sure and maybe some minor breaking of the rules with a senior officer having a relationship with one of his subordinates, but he didn't know what it all added up to.

Marluxia didn't seem to see any reason for worry in Riku's expression so he continued in his deep tone.

"Larxene is my only accomplice, although, we may have to change our plans since Axel will be returning and you are not in his confidence. And as for my interest in your king, I want no harm to come to him or for him to be captured. I merely wish to speak with him and propose a trade," Marluxia paused again and his glance became slightly apprehensive as he asked, "Would you be able to provide such a means for communication?"

Riku let his back bump against the man's desk as he thought of a way to reply. All his letters went to Diz first and then the king, and he sincerely doubted Diz would adhere to that particular message. Diz wouldn't even accept benign Naminé into his class so he probably wouldn't let the head of the Organization's information sector correspond with King Mickey. There were also his own feelings to consider and, despite not being handed over to Xemnas and Saix's cold mercy, Riku wasn't ready to trust this man. _Especially if he's done something to Leon_, Riku thought as he ground his teeth.

"No, I couldn't even if I wanted to," Riku said, watching Marluxia carefully. The other man didn't get angry, but something changed in him. Maybe his eyes became narrowed with disappointment or his lips became a sad line? Maybe the Organization hadn't completely shattered the Riku in the mirror because between the obscuring fractures Riku felt pity seep out for the pink haired man.

"Then we are done for now," Marluxia said in a flatter tone than before.

Marluxia opened his mouth, probably to give Riku words of warning against tattling on him, when there was a firm knock on the door.

"Let me in so I can talk to Twilight Trash," Larxene said through the door.

"Do you mind telling your girlfriend not to call me names that could blow my cover?" Riku huffed.

"Larxene, he has made up his mind and, I don't mean to be insulting, but you are not one of my agents. And Ansem is right, you must be discreet."

"Oh, screw the both of you. I have eyes and I can see there is no one in the hall. And Marluxia," her tone became a step worse than taunting or angry, it became low and slithering like a poisonous snake curling before it launched, "I might know something that could change his mind."

Riku might have laughed if his was in more familiar company since both he and Marluxia wore incredulous expressions. Apparently Marluxia didn't have as much faith in Larxene's abilities to bargain as he did in his own.

"You know, the little boys used to pull the ladder to their tree fort up to keep me out. Let me tell you, it didn't work," she said flatly.

Riku shrugged at the pink haired man and Marluxia opened the door to let Larxene slip in.

"What have you been keeping from me?" Marluxia asked her, though there was no accusation in his voice.

"Nothing, or it should have been nothing but Twilight Trash changed that."

Riku and Larxene locked glares for a moment. Riku was already regretting allowing Marluxia to open the door to her.

"Then what do you have to say to me, trench tramp?" Riku asked. He was slightly distrustful of what she had to say to him, the sneer on her face reminded him of how his little brothers or sisters would run up to him and singsong "I know something you don't know!"

"I'll tell you my tale if you send word to your king that we wish to speak with him," Larxene bargained.

"Forget it," Riku said coldly, "I don't even know what kind of information you have. It could just be recruit gossip."

"It's not," Larxene said, prickling at his dismissive tone, "I saw it happen today."

"On the mission?" Marluxia inquired, his interest peaking. "Why wasn't I informed?"

"Because I didn't think it would matter and I'm not one hundred percent sure it's the person I'm thinking of. I've never seen the kid, just his smartass brother."

"Who are you talking about?" Riku asked gruffer than he meant to.

"I'm not exactly sure," Larxene said playfully, taking a couple steps closer to Riku whose jaw clenched and eyes narrowed. At his discomfort Larxene smiled. "Do you know a short boy with big, blue eyes and messy brown hair?"

* * *

><p>Sora leaned his good arm against the wall of a house whose windows had been shattered and interior ransacked. He gnashed his teeth and scrunched his eyes as he clapped his right hand over the mess of his left shoulder. He was worried enough about the bullet nestled a couple inches above his heart and even further distressed of the serious amount of blood he lost from his racing through Twilight Town. His pumping legs probably worked exactly like a pump, pushing gushes from his legs to his upper body and now out through his wound.<p>

He tipped forward and only managed to catch himself by banging his left shoulder against the neighbouring house's walls, and he was alive with pain. He screamed and a couple crows that had been nesting on the roofs of the vacant houses took flight, cawing at him with indignation.

He breathed with as much grace as a startled frog, his lungs pushing his chest in and out with jittery movements. Now that he was sure or almost sure that he had lost the Organization members hunting him, he wasted his little bursts of oxygen on thinking thoughts spun from shock.

_Oh, God, I'm gonna die. No, not if I move. I could find Kairi or – or Naminé but I can't go back. There's fighting in town. Should I try for home? What if I don't make it? Oh, God! My last words to Roxas were to scrub the toilet. I can't let that be the last thing I said. I need help – I really need someone – but there's no one. I could really use a friend –_

Sora awkwardly rubbed his eyes along his arm and tried not to think about people who were too far away to help or who couldn't possibly know about his predicament. With ragged breath and a sharp intake every dozen or so steps, Sora headed out of town.

* * *

><p>"You can ask the school girls in Twilight Town," Riku hissed into Larxene's ear, "and they'll tell you I've never been a fan of chivalry. So speak now and hurry up."<p>

"Not with that knife at my throat," she spat back then turned her head to bark at Marluxia, "Back off! I can handle this myself."

"Fine," Marluxia said a bit tersely as he watched Riku force her to her knees with a knife glinting warningly at her throat. "But, Riku, I think it would be for the better if you took the knife from her throat. How is she supposed to speak like that?"

"She mocked me just fine when I put my arm around her neck," Riku said angrily but drew the knife away and let her fall with a gasp onto all fours. Riku had to step away from her so he wouldn't be possessed to kick her. Capturing and torturing Leon was one thing, Sora was another. Leon was a soldier and signed up knowing the danger. Sora was a civilian and not to be touched. In a firm voice he asked, "What happened to Sora?"

Larxene tossed a withering look over her shoulder while she panted at his feet. He really wouldn't have minded calling her a bitch and putting a foot to the back of her head, but that image gave him a knotted stomach. He really was becoming one of them.

To make him feel even guiltier, Larxene snapped, "With that kind of treatment I don't know if I should tell you about your precious, little sex toy."

"Don't call him things like that," Riku chided and then said a bit calmer, "And I'm sorry if I hurt you, just tell me already."

She looked at him through leering eyes as she pulled herself to her feet, swatting Marluxia's helping hand away.

"God, Twilight Town men are pussies," she said venomously but consented to tell him the story.

"You have your friend Leon to thank, he sent us on a false trail," she said, exciting an angry flame in Riku's heart but he stayed put this time.

"He said the king would be at the school house meeting with some teacher. We saw his royal guards standing outside so Marluxia gave the orders for us to wait until he came out, but Saix radioed in that we were to storm the place and smoke him out, so we did.

"Unfortunately for you, your boyfriend was in there, maybe getting an _afterschool_ lesson from his teacher, hmm? Well, he seriously needs one because the idiot faked being the king and not only made me chase his ass all over town but he got shot in the process."

"W-what?" Riku asked through a throat dried by the scorching light of Larxene's words.

"Here's where things get really confusing. On one frequency, Saix was ordering Xiggy to kill the king if he fled and on another, Marluxia was saying only shoot if he was sure he could shoot and not kill. And how does good, old Xiggy make his decision? Grandpa says 'Oh hell' and aims for the kid's heart but looks away at the last second to 'leave it up to lady luck'. I knew he was crazy on the first day of boot camp. He picked fricken Demyx as his favourite."

Larxene stopped talking and went to picking her nails while Riku waited on the precipice of sanity. A starved tiger pacing in a cage surrounded by people never knew as much strain as Riku did. Riku turned to Marluxia who looked a little grim at Riku's expression.

"Larxene..." Marluxia said in a tone one might use to rouse someone from sleep, gentle and cautious.

She glanced up at Marluxia, one eyebrow raised and at the senior officer's nod towards Riku. Larxene gave the stressed boy the same cockeyed stare.

"You never said what happened to Sora," Riku said, his tone low and shaky.

"Write a note to your king," Larxene quipped, most of her usual attitude hidden in a darker one. She knew the pain she was inflicting on Riku and if he was in a better state of mind, he might have realized the quiver in her own voice.

"You want me to do that in _this_ state of mind?" Riku said fiercely, spreading his arms to display himself. The strain of the weeks past and the loss of himself had eroded away a great deal of Riku's person. It wasn't like he had lost an arm or had been marred with scars, but his skin was sallow, his lips dry and purplish, and when he bowed his head slightly his eyes looked as if they were looking from some place shadowy. His arms shook rigidly as he said, "If this was happening to you-"

"Oh, _please_. I'm not going to make the mistake of sympathizing with you," Larxene cut him off and looked at her feet as she did so. "It's not happening to me so suck it up buttercup."

Riku was stalled from action when he couldn't make up his mind to either leap at Larxene again or put a hand to his face and fall to his knees. Marluxia spoke quickly after Larxene's harsh words.

"I'll prepare the letter and, Larxene, you relieve Riku's pain," he said as he moved behind his desk and took out a piece of stationary and a pen. He added curtly, "And do so hastily and with care."

Larxene stared at Marluxia with and odd look that Riku really didn't care to decipher. Then she shrugged and said, "He was alive last time I saw him."

* * *

><p>Roxas was in his bedroom, lolling on his bed, hoping that Axel would come to his window and that his brother would return safely. He had meant to put the house in order as Sora had asked before he left for an errand in town, but his heart dragged on the ground as much as his feet.<p>

They were living like rats at the moment, stock piling food, blankets, bandages and wood haphazardly about the house, but in no order, just clumped into an inconvenient nest of usefulness. The moment Sora had disappeared from view of the house, Roxas couldn't focus anymore and dread followed him about the house like his own shadow. Just short of reverting back to his five year old self, Roxas had pleaded, argued and struggled with his brother in an attempt to make Sora take him with him.

Roxas would snort and roll his eyes at calling his actions clingy, but if he had to tail his brother to town to make sure he came back alive then he would have to suck up his independent pride and lace fingers with his brother. _Besides_, Roxas thought as he stood at the top of the stairs in the grey light of the hall between his and his brother's room, _it doesn't feel like home without him here. Why should I bother making it look like one_. The blue of Roxas' eyes dulled as he stared past the dust in the air, through the walls of Sora's sunlit room and beyond anything green or browning outside of the house. Axel was somewhere out there watching over him and now Sora had gone out to bring back supplies to keep them both alive until the men they love returned.

"Roxas!" Sora screamed his name from just outside the house.

Roxas flinched and was so near the top step of the stairs that when he turned abruptly his turning step almost sent him head first down the stairs.

"Fucking shit!" Roxas muttered as he caught himself with shaky hands. Roxas descended the stairs warily because of the intense emotion in his brother's voice. Could Sora tell he hadn't even got dressed yet? Indignantly and fearfully, Roxas called out to his brother, "Sora, I was just going to start cleaning."

Sora didn't seem to hear his words as he screamed his brother's name again, and this time Roxas heard fear in his brother's voice instead of anger. Roxas leapt the rest of the way down the stairs, twisting his ankle a little with the leapt but ignoring it as he came upon Sora's silhouette leaning against the screen door and then suddenly slipping to the ground with a _thud_. Now Roxas was yelling Sora's name.

Roxas had to nudge the door open carefully since Sora had fallen just outside it. Finally getting the door open enough for him to squeeze out, Roxas got his first good look at his brother's wound.

"Oh...shit," Roxas muttered, seeing not the wound beneath his brother's shirt but the blood that spread down the one sleeve and arm and blossomed grimly across his chest. Roxas sat before his brother with his hands shaking a couple inches from actually touching him, uncertain of what to do. He collected his thoughts enough to lift Sora's head and tap his cheeks to wake him up.

"Sora? C'mon, I've gotta get you inside. God, where are you even...? I don't want to hurt you. Can you get your feet under you? I'm afraid to touch your arm," Roxas rambled while he pressed his shoulder under Sora's unharmed arm and tried to find a good place to grip his brother.

"I don't _care_ what you do. Just – just _please_ get me inside. _Please, Roxas!_" Sora pleaded, lamely digging his fingers into Roxas' shirt.

Roxas couldn't choke out any words at the plaintive tone to Sora's voice. It reminded him of how the chickens had wailed when a fox got in their coop only to cluck and coo miserably at the blood and feathers of one of their fellow hens. It was the reason Roxas couldn't slaughter chickens and why now his blood ran slow and cold.

Roxas wound his arm around Sora's waist and grabbed a hold of his panting ribs. He used the strength in his own legs to drag Sora in the house and a couple feet down the hall into their kitchen. He set Sora up against the wall and snagged a dish towel hanging from a cupboard handle. Like a surgeon pulling back the skin to get at a pulsing organ, Roxas tried peeling back the shirt but when his brother hissed in pain Roxas dropped the soaked cloth and retrieved a knife to cut the shirt open.

"Oh God..." Roxas said and choked on air as if he had been winded by a punch to the gut.

He shouldn't have been surprised that there would be a lot of blood, but he hadn't been expecting such a gnarled wound. The bullet must have nuzzled into Sora's shoulder bone and not got much farther. The wound itself was hideous; it looked like a raw, red eye with frayed skin as lashes and it wept continuously. If this eye expressed anything in its seeping and raw gaze, it showed pain and a wish to be put to death.

Roxas turned his gaze away and got his own breathing under control. He really would have liked Naminé to be here, she would know exactly what needed to be done whereas Roxas could only guess. Her practiced hand would have made a much more precise tool compared to his quivering one.

"Hey, Sora, are you – are you still with me?" he asked uneasily as he continued to stare at the wall.

Sora rattled out a groan and Roxas left his brother's side to get a cup of water from the sink. A little uncertainly, Roxas hastily filled their little cast-iron kettle with water and set it on the stove to boil. He didn't know if he would need boiled water but at least he would have clean water if he needed it.

He bent to lift Sora's head and poured a glass of water down his throat, half of it spilling on the floor and thinning the pooling blood.

Roxas had filled the cup again and tried pressing it to his brother's lips, but Sora turned his head like a child refusing to eat and uttered a feeble and fear shattered, "Roxas...no more now."

Roxas felt pressure behind his eyes as he set the cup down on the floor. He gently swept Sora's bang from where they stuck on his forehead and rested his bloodless lips there as he murmured, "I know. It has to come out."


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary: **Riku is now part of the odd goings-on in his hometown and he has confirmed that a war is gradually working towards a peaking point. Sora has noticed some changes in Riku's patterns and he is just as determined as Riku is to save his home town to understand what is breaking between them. Many people made and make mistakes that have and will leave wounds that may become infected and refuse to heal, or ones that will scar over with the help of a friendly hand.

**Themes:** There is some romance between Sora and Riku as well as some mention of Axel/Roxas. Friendship in times when it is needed for strength. Adventure in the discovery of who really is the hero of the story. Angst for young men failing to see the light peeking through their dark actions. Hurt/comfort in the loss of lovers, brothers, beauty and pride. And humour, sometimes dark, for a break in all that drama.

* * *

><p><strong>Touching Base<strong>

Riku took the note Marluxia had written, that was now wrapped neatly in an unmarked envelope, and stuffed it in the pocket inside his Organization coat. It was a shame that Marluxia took a great amount care in writing and sealing the letter; Riku had no intention of delivering it. He supposed it was a trap that Marluxia and Saix had conducted upon finding out Ansem was not his real name and his history was a lie. Marluxia would feign being a traitor and ask Riku to deliver the letter while Marluxia's spies followed in the letter to the king. Then they would kill Mickey and Riku, just for convenience. Because of those suspicions, Riku was nervous about going after Sora. He was anxious about not being able to blow out of Marluxia's office after Sora. Reason said the Organization only took prisoners when there was something in it for them; he had seen that first hand.

Marluxia, Xemnas and his other lapdogs knew that the boy that had been shot in the king's stead was Sora. Not only that but they would know where to find him. He had to walk away from the Organization for a time, hope the noses of guns or spies weren't lifted in his direction eastward. There wasn't much harm affirming what the Organization already knew anyway.

Riku was out the door in three quick strides with Marluxia's words of, "I'll tell Saix you're taking your leave of absence now," drawling behind him.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry! I'm – I'm no good. I th-think I'm just making it worse!" Roxas grated with a voice full of pity serving to both him and his brother.<p>

Roxas held a pair of tweezers; the little instrument was red from pincers to handle and trembling in his limp hand at Sora's side. He felt as clean and clear as the tweezers and thought he should be apologizing to everything he touched. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to clean the tools with boiling water or if rubbing alcohol was enough or maybe too much, he thought maybe iodine or was it io_dide_? – He had boiled water and run them under rubbing alcohol before kneeling on the kitchen floor.

Sora looked like someone who had spent most of his life in a damp cave. His skin was white, his flesh cool, and his pupils took up most of the blue in his eyes. He had slipped his good hand into Roxas' and never realized that Roxas was barely holding onto himself.

The wound wouldn't have been so bad if Sora hadn't had to run around town, leaving drops of red in the muddy streets. As he was now in wanting of a couple cups of blood, he lost focus of what was going on sometimes, like someone falling asleep while reading a book. He could see the words but he only understood the general plot on the page and all the pretty descriptions and metaphors were lost to lethargy. He knew where he was and that Roxas was with him, and that he felt fear sizzling out of him. He was probably safe.

All his senses went from embers to full body flames when Roxas pushed the tweezers into the tunnel the bullet had made in his arm.

Roxas didn't think his childhood fear of blood and feathers would scare him as much as this. Sora's scream was like the high pitched howl heard in a fast and cold wind.

* * *

><p>Riku had reined enough his mind with him to hide the jeep in a cluster of trees outside of Twilight Town, but he had taken no extra clothes with him. He had the choice of going naked into town or entering in the skin of Twilight Town's enemy. Both would get him noticed, one would leave dead, but vanity still won out in a life or death situation.<p>

He noticed changes to the town before he even entered. There was the beginnings of a blockade at the most used path into town, the one Sora and Roxas used to take to school, and it was dotted with the light brown uniforms of the Twilight Town soldiers. Riku decided to try at another less frequented path and was successful in scrambling over a stone wall that had been erected around most of the town. The king had been busy.

He made his way through the suburbs, the houses he passed standing with a grim look in their panes. A window shut with a sudden snap and a hiss from its occupant as Riku jogged by. He didn't flinch at the noise, but he felt the ashes of who he had been stir in its harsh breeze.

He decided he would find Diz, most likely at the school, but Twilight Town's hospital was only a couple streets behind the school so he would stop there first to see if Sora had been admitted. Though Twilight Town was small, Riku felt his stomach twist at the idea of scouring the streets to find his boyfriend amidst all the mud and hostile stares. He hoped that Sora was somewhere warm and with helpful hands to treat him.

He noticed that in some parts of town there were more guards stationed while in others, usually the vacant looking suburbs, there were maybe two or three guards patrolling a large area. He guessed that where the guards were thickest and stillest was where operations and locations important to the Regiment were. He noted that one of these places was his old preschool and he hoped that since the orphanage didn't have guards stationed outside that that was where his brothers and sisters had been moved. There was also a white medic's flag flapping on the roof and he was soothed some.

He crept through some poor person's backyard who had their fence trashed and gardens tramped as he continued on to the hospital. He was only a street from his target when a feeling settled over him. At first it was just the coolness of a shadow and then, as he drew closer, the chill settled into his bones. There were no guards stationed or patrolling the streets surrounding the little hospital and, given that it was wartime, the place should have sounded busy. There was no noise except for the slosh of his feet and eventually they too were silent.

Hesitantly, Riku turned a corner and found the hospital to be dark, broken and unguarded. The only signs of life were the footprints and several tires tracks that could fit the wheels of jeeps and gurneys.

With more speed and less caution, Riku turned away and darted down a street that would take him to his old school. His mind bit through most of its reins as he ran on. When his feet hit the mud his breath went out in a sharp and short gasp.

There were as many guards around the school as there should have been posted outside of the hospital, and no matter what side of the building Riku rounded their numbers were great and solid. Riku was also past the feelings of serenity and patience that inspired finesse. He checked the windows of the school briefly from his perch on the roof of a nearby building and saw no one within, except for an old man sitting at a desk of one of the classrooms.

When the guards seemed the thinnest around the windows by Diz's room, Riku fell to the ground and made a straight line for the old man. The Twilight Town soldiers called him Organization member and ordered him to stop, but his eyes were set on the window where Diz could be seen rising from his desk, alarmed by the yells of his soldiers.

Riku covered his head and face as he threw himself through the window. Catlike he flipped himself onto his feet immediately after sprawling on the floor and let the glass fall from his shoulders as he stood face to face with his old professor.

Diz eyebrows were drawn into a severe v. Riku gathered his mind again and came to realize how scandalized Diz had to feel seeing an Organization member act so boldly and so stupidly as to throw himself through headquarters' window.

Diz's old, rattled nerves lost importance as Riku noticed the stitch in his chest still seared. The glass hadn't pierced him, and the stitch wasn't from running; he was furious, furious and hurt that Diz didn't recognize him at first. So much pain and confusion in him made the worst in him say _fine, I am what I am and I guess that's not Riku_. Then recognition lit the fires of happy surprise in Diz's eyes.

The old man raised his hands to the soldiers at the windows as he yelled, "Wait! This man is not our enemy! Stand down! Lower your weapons!"

The soldiers seemed uneasy about lowering their guns and remained on guard at the window. Riku turned his head to glower at them and someone gasped.

"Hey, it's Riku!" Hayner said, lowering his gun to point with his finger at the boy standing haughtily before them. Then Hayner seemed to put the clothes before the man and his eyes grew cold and his lips taut with a snarl. "What the fuck? Why are you dressed like that? What the _hell_ is your problem?"

Riku watched impassively, as if through a stranger's eyes, as Hayner attempted to climb through the window only to have Olette grab him by the shoulders and pull him back.

"Hayner! Knock it off. This is _Riku_ you're seeing. He's not one of them!" she cried, swatting Hayner around the ears when he tried to struggle away from her. "_He's not one of them, you ass!_"

Hayner swore as Olette dragged him from the sill where the remaining glass bit like teeth into his uniform, only agitating him more.

"Well he's not one of _us_!"

"Hayner!"

"'_Hayner_'," he mocked, rounding on her to spit his name in Olette's face. Olette flinched and took her hand from his shoulder. She half sneered and half frowned at him. Hayner tore his ashamed eyes from her shocked face as he said, "If he's in their clothes and it's not some sick joke then he's taken on what they stand for. Even if he doesn't believe he's part of them, the Organization does and I bet he's done some pretty horrible things for them. Right?"

Hayner turned to look at Riku with burning eyes and all Riku did to answer was stare unsmiling at Hayner with his back straight.

With a scoff Hayner thrust himself away from the window. Olette seemed torn between following Hayner and staying to lick Riku's wounds. Riku showed no signs of bleeding from Hayner's words, so when he nodded to her she went away, giving him an apologetic, albeit wary, look. Diz waved the other soldiers off and then they stood alone in Diz's classroom turned into office, with bits of window glittering on the floor.

"Riku," Diz said, giving him a searching and slightly apprehensive look. Riku turned to stare at Diz who could only blink at the frigidity of Riku's expression.

"What has happened?" he asked, to which Riku couldn't even fathom a response. Diz should already know what had happened to Sora and why Riku was here. Wouldn't Diz have sent for him to tell him of Sora's state?

When Riku didn't answer, Diz became agitated and clasped his hands behind his back as he walked around his desk.

"Has your cover been blown? Is that why you're here?" he asked worriedly.

"No," Riku said, shaking his head.

"Then you realize that my calling off the guards on you will look suspicious if anyone happens to be watching?" Diz said with raised eyebrows, as if he couldn't believe Riku could be so clumsy. Why didn't he know this wasn't about Riku? This was about Sora, he should know. "You are treading in dangerous waters, Riku."

"Then call me Ansem," Riku said abruptly, making Diz's brows ascend further. Riku continued in a less chilled tone, "I'm not here about Organization matters. I'm here about what happened _here_ today."

"The king is safe," Diz said, turning his face towards the shattered window. The light shone in strongly and made the lines in Diz's face deeper.

"And Sora?"

"Alive somewhere," Diz said with grief inflicting his calm tone. The old man sighed.

"You don't know where?" Riku asked incredulously as panic gripped his heart.

"He ran, Riku, and he was well out of sight by the time he was shot. I only know he's alive by the reports made by patrols."

"Did you tell the heads of the patrols to find and assist Sora?"

Diz sighed again, his shoulders sunk further, and he lowered his head.

"I'm doing the best I can with the little I have," he said wearily. "Leon was far better suited to handle the troops. I am merely need for my insight and intellect, not for leading the young into war."

"You sent me off just fine," Riku said darkly as he looked down at the fragments of glass around his boots. When he looked up Diz was staring at him with a strange intelligence in his eyes. Turning away, Riku said bitterly, "You could have told me about Leon being held captive. I could have set him free and this could have been avoided."

"It is little use in saying so now, but you could not have and must not set him free," Diz said gravely, "To do so would cause an uproar and an inquiry at Organization headquarters. You may be found out."

"I have been found out."

Diz asked made a startled noise in the back of his throat. He collected himself and asked with the hints of anger and suspicion in his voice, "Explain it to me, Riku."

Riku drew the letter from his jacket and passed it to Diz.

"There's a man named Marluxia who's head of the information sector at the Organization and he's got a file on me, the real me," Riku explained, his voice coming out more angry than scared, "He wanted me to deliver that letter to the king."

"That I cannot allow," Diz said with a poignant and heated glance. Riku swallowed his retort about not trusting Marluxia. Diz turned his attention back to the letter, glowered at the words Marluxia had written and did nothing more than toss it on his desk. He would only pick it up again to burn it. He shook his head at Riku as if the letter was a report card and he was disappointed with the grades between the folds. Riku remained still, silent and angry.

In a tone filled with cold and calculated venom, Diz said, "What you are asking for this man is unacceptable. No matter what this Marluxia desires, be it a place among us or to connive against us, it cannot be allowed. You have no idea what Xemnas and his closest men as capable of."

"I've got a pretty good idea," Riku muttered. He held Xion's image in his eyes. The livid lines in Diz's face softened to a tiresome sadness.

"What you have seen is not the worst," Diz said solemnly, "Xemnas wants greatly and cherishes none, not even his closest subordinates. He turns dreadful people into even worse soldiers who want nothing more than to freeze the world to the same temperature as their hearts."

Diz seemed to trail off into his own memories as he spoke. His old eyes closed and his head turned away from the young man standing at the edge of his desk. Riku took in a deep breath; he couldn't decide whether he was furious or empathetic. Either way, he didn't want to be here in this man's presence. Diz had no information on Sora and didn't seem like he was about to call together a search party. While Diz daydreamed Riku snorted and headed for the door in a clipped stride. This roused Diz who stared after Riku's back and asked, "What do you plan to do? I suppose you can't go back to the Organization with the head of the information sector aware of you."

"I will go back but not until Sora's found and I'm sure he's safe again. _That_ is what is important right now," Riku said, turned at the door to glare and frown at Diz. In a chilling tone he said, "I don't know what Marluxia wants or if Saix or Xemnas knows about me but I'm not leaving Leon there the way you...never mind"

"Riku, wait," Diz pled and his footsteps echoed after Riku, "If Xemnas is aware of who you are then he will press you for information until you are broken at his feet. And if it gets out that you and I have connections-"

"Then my pain will be doubled?" Riku said forebodingly. He scoffed as he opened the door and said, "It's because Saix hates you and right now, tch, I can understand why."

Diz made a fearful noise in the back of his throat and fumbled over the beginning of a question when he was silenced, and Riku surprised, by Kairi standing right outside Diz's door. Her hand was outstretched towards the knob and her face was distorted by fury until she did a double take and recognized Riku. With an ecstatic and relieved yelp she threw her arms around him. He was happy to see Kairi but the panic over Sora's state and whereabouts was wearing him down to a strained, little ball of anxiety.

"Kairi, I'm sorry, I have to go find Sora-"

"I know! That's why I'm here," she said, releasing Riku and turning to Diz with fury flush in her features again. "Sir, why has my jeep been dispatched? I said I needed it."

"You failed to specify why you needed it, though I now have my answer," Diz said with a tired nod in her direction. He was getting tired further by listening to youthful tirades. He leaned on his desk and explained, "I am apologetic to the both of you, but there were outbreaks of fighting in town today which brought up the need for the medics and jeeps. None of us have the time for searching now."

"But I _know_ where Sora is and don't act surprised," she nearly snarled, which shocked Riku. Times had gotten hard if Kairi had this short a fuse. She gave Diz a withering look which actually seemed to wither the man, and she said through a frown, "I sent a message to you almost an hour ago. Why does nobody seem to get these things? This is Xion all over again!"

Angry Kairi's power ended with stunned silence and her own surprise at what had dropped from her mouth. Riku pushed away all his melancholy and hate and turned to Kairi.

"I have a jeep."

Diz once again closed his old eyes, but said nothing as they fled the room.

* * *

><p>Kairi wasn't able to come with Riku after all. Diz was right in the way that there was a great deal of soldiers wounded after the day's fighting, and even Kairi's quaky hands were needed. Riku couldn't wait for her to finish with the overflow, and he had already lost time on Diz and by the numerous and frustrating times he and Kairi had been stopped in the streets due to his uniform.<p>

Kairi was able to give Riku some basic supplies and quick instructions of how to use them, as well as a Twilight Town Regiment uniform. He was hesitant to put it on in case Marluxia had actually not told anyone about Riku's true loyalties and he was giving himself away by dressing in the uniform that should have been his from the start. Kairi listened to his fears and she said he could either be captured by his own people or risk being seen by his enemies. For the sake of time, he put on the uniform and as he cast off the dark clothes he felt closer to home than he had in months. Some of his agitation slipped away and the drive to find Sora stood before all other emotions.

It only took Riku a few minutes to drive most of the way to Sora's farm. He had to run the last kilometre in order hide the Organization's jeep.

Riku was panting as he mounted the stairs and his heart that beat so fast with his running across the lea, stopped to listen as a pained scream shot from the farmhouse.

"Sora!" Riku bellowed as he forgot his common courtesy for the first time and threw open the screen door without invitation. The floorboards groaned under his boots as another lower pitched and shorter moan directed him to the kitchen. Roxas could also be heard shakily coaxing and soothing his brother. The fearful daydream that Roxas was on his knees pleading with the corpse of his brother to stay awake wiped Riku's brain blank and all he saw was white before rounding the corner.

* * *

><p>Riku entered the kitchen with a startling presence, causing Roxas to jump and Sora to cry out as his brother's hand slipped at its work. Sora had his hand digging into his brother's shirt, seeming to pull his little brother closer but distanced him enough to prevent the tweezers from being put to his wound.<p>

Roxas twisted his head around the best he could to see if it was who he thought it was entering his kitchen. He felt relief cool him as he recognized a much changed Riku. Black cloaked, bloodless hands and lips that looked stained in comparison. Riku blinked, made to move closer and paused with his mouth open.

Roxas made a noise in his throat and immediately after the utterance, felt shame for the tears in his eyes and the nervous dots of blood on the floor around him. He shouldn't appear to be crying over blood, and he wasn't. Every time Sora cried out or flinched Roxas felt a spasm start in his stomach and spread throughout his body. Sora didn't swear or yell obscenities as him, but Roxas felt like every wordless scream was a tooth on his nerves. Roxas rubbed his face along his shoulder, appearing to dry sweat and discreetly dispatch tears.

"What can I do?" Riku finally said, his voice ringing a little thin.

Roxas was already set in his ways and perhaps a bit hysteric, so he told Riku to come hold Sora still while he gave the final pull.

Sora, though his upper body wriggled and his feet kicked feebly, was out of it. He didn't seem able to comprehend Riku's presence with all his energy focused on the pain in his shoulder. Nonetheless, Riku took Sora's hand from Roxas' shirt into his own and pressed himself over Sora's midsection to keep the boy from moving.

He watched as Roxas' shaking and bloodied hands pulled the bullet out of the red eye of the wound. Sora nearly popped his fingers off with the amount of pressure he squeezed Riku's hand with. While Sora let out one last throaty scream, Riku gently but sternly turned Sora's face his way and let the boy's cry be dulled by his chest. He flinched as teeth bit into him right below his collar bone.

With a barely audible squelching noise and a dull, metallic _thud_ Roxas dropped the bullet onto the sullied kitchen floor and fell back against the wall, his chest heaving and eyes and cheeks raw looking.

"There," he said, gesturing lamely at the little bit of metal that had caused all three of them pain, "it's out. It's done. I'm done."

* * *

><p>Roxas had meant it when he said he was finished. He knew Sora would need something done to his arm, be it stitches or bandaging, but he wasn't going to do it. His nerves were twitchier than his fingers and he couldn't listen to his brother scream anymore. His dilemma was he didn't want to let Sora out of his sight. He had done that once today and it would leave a stain on the kitchen floor that he would have to cover up with the kitchen table when he had the stamina to give a damn.<p>

So while Riku went about assessing Sora's wound and cleaning it with the little vials of sweet and bitter smelling ointments, Roxas put himself to work by boiling more water and cleaning the floor the best he could. The blood became thin and the suds pink as he washed, but he kept his eyes on the task and scrubbed harder to fill his ears with the _shush shuck_ noise of the scrub brush and drown out Sora's groggy mews.

Sora had blacked out as the bullet was extracted and, thankfully, stayed that way while Riku stitched the wound with imprecision. There would no doubt be a scar and Riku was already worrying about how he would feel having to look at it every time Sora stood shirtless before him. In their most intimate of moments Riku would spot it and feel guilt ache in a spot very near to where Sora's scar would be on his own body.

Riku nodded as Roxas offered to put a cloth with clean water on the wound to wipe away the blood.

Sora hissed as the hot water made contact with his skin.

"Sorry," Roxas mumbled and sat on his knees.

Sora's eyes opened at the sound of his brother's voice and he craned his head in search of him. With barely any energy left, Sora blinked wearily at his younger brother who smiled softly in return.

Sora's gaze turned from his brother to peer curiously down at his hand that was being held. Dopily he watched someone's calloused thumb run a soothing course over his wrist. He thought it would be Kairi just because he had seen the light brown of the Twilight Town Regiment's uniform during his frenzied writhing. When he realized it was Riku caressing his hand he felt tears press at his eyes and it seemed as though Riku felt likewise as his green eyes shone brightly.

Riku put Sora's fingers to his lips and told him not to move. He guessed that Sora wouldn't stay awake long but they had a handful of seconds now to let slip idly through their clasped hands. He planned on visiting Sora when he could given how pale and weak he looked now. Roxas would need to stay close by his brother while he healed and Riku would make time to get supplies from Twilight Town when needed. He had noticed the piles of food, lanterns and blankets in the hallway, but he doubted they had Naminé's antiseptics, salves or ointments.

It was hard for him to describe with a single word, but being around Sora made him feel more himself. He felt guilty that he had let this happen to a non-combatant but while Sora smiled dopily through his pain, he felt like some of the cracks in his reflection were being filled and smoothed. Some of his self-doubt and shame over the things he had done lingered in the shadows of his heart.

Sora shivered and his lips looked blue so Riku pulled his Organization coat from the bag of supplies and laid it on the boy. Riku thought maybe he would enjoy the uniform more if Sora spent a night sleeping in it. Sora lazily blinked his thanks at Riku.

"How does it feel to be an idiotic hero?" Riku murmured through Sora's chilled fingers. He swore he could see his breath every time he breathed on them.

"You would know," Sora chuckled breathily. His laugh caused him to blanch and he checked his first reply by saying, "It feels like I'm going to puke."

"Yeah, I get that too," Riku said with a smile and he lowered his forehead to Sora's.

Sora whispered in his ear, "Is Roxas listening?"

Riku peeked over at the blond boy now crouched in the corner of the kitchen and gazing out the door to the window where the sun was setting.

"No, I think he's daydreaming."

"Good, 'cause I needed to tell you something," Sora said, his eyelids looking rather dark and heavy against his bloodless skin. In a sigh that predicted sleep like soft grumbles in the sky predicting rain, Sora said, "The king he's not...the king."

"I know," Riku said soothingly, thumbing away teary residue from Sora's eye. "I've known all along."

"Then why is he helping Twilight Town?"

"He's an old friend of Diz's and he doesn't think the Organization is right in attacking us," Riku muttered, kept running his fingers over Sora's face, felt happy jolts in the tips as he did so. "You have to keep this a secret you know. You can't tell anyone about the king. The war would only escalate if Mickey's kingdom openly declares their part in the war."

"I know...that's why I did this. So he would be safe...and you, for you," Sora said with his eyes sliding closed. He missed the frown on Riku's face and the tears shimmering around the red lids. The tears fell on Sora's face and his eyes threatened to flutter open but Riku quickly dammed them by scrunching his features and pressed his lips to Sora's.

With their lips still touching Riku murmured, "I love you."

Sora moaned out similar words as he settled into an easy slumber. Riku took this moment while Roxas was still looking away to wipe his eyes and give a final kiss to Sora's forehead. He rested Sora's hand gently on the floor and walked over to talk to Roxas.

He wasn't sure what Roxas knew about Riku's current situation or Sora's. He would most likely have to tell at least one lie. With Sora's peace he felt he could lie without sounding misleading or angry.

"It shouldn't be like this," Riku said, honestly enough.

"He shouldn't be sleeping?" Roxas asked fearfully.

Riku chuckled but given the atmosphere of the room and the bloodstained floor, he feared it sounded sarcastic.

"I don't think you could stop him even if you wanted to. Sleeping his problems away is probably the best way for him to heal right now," Riku paused and fixed Roxas with a determined gaze. In a much graver tone he continued, "Sora shouldn't have been at the registration office."

Roxas gave him an odd look and Riku just stared out the window to hide anything his eyes might give away. He wasn't sure if Roxas looked upset or suspicious since his face was barely animated thanks to shock.

Then in a strangled whisper Roxas spoke.

"What? You don't think Sora could handle himself?"

Relieved that Roxas had taken the bait Riku replied back maybe a little too overzealously.

"Don't be ridiculous, Roxas. I know that Sora can take care of himself. What I'm saying is that he shouldn't have to join either side because he's not part of either."

Roxas sighed from somewhere deep in his heart where his fears continued to breathe, "Maybe not physically, like actually in any borders, but he's certainly a part of your life," with a knowing look directed at Riku that shook the roots of his affection for Sora and Roxas, he added tiredly, "He'd follow you anywhere, Riku."

Here in this sad, little farmhouse where the rusty scent of blood pervaded the kitchen, Riku started to feel something more than contempt for Axel's situation, if only for Roxas' sake.

It wasn't fair to either of the brothers who could do little more than watch no matter how they felt about their boys that were in danger every day. If Riku had been in Roxas' situation he would have chosen to follow the one he loved, although he never had a blood relative. Still, he had left his adopted brothers and sisters and he couldn't imagine loving kin anymore than he did them.

Riku stared shrewdly at Roxas, wondering if the strained boy whose skin looked grey in the fading sun was worried about what tomorrow's sun would bring and in what light he would see Axel.

"Fine but where's that leave you and Axel?" Riku asked quietly with a sombre smile.

With a heavy sigh that Riku thought would shake tears from Roxas' eyes, the blond replied, "It's the same for us as it is for you and Sora. We want what's best for ourselves and each other. I'd come through for Axel like he'd come through for me."

Riku was almost afraid to ask but he hoped that some comfort would come from talking about what was worrying Roxas.

"And if Sora runs after me and you run after Axel, where's that leave you and Sora?"

Roxas didn't answer, save for lowering his head onto his knees.

Riku was just about to apologize and tell Roxas to forget his question, that if the time ever came when they had to decide they would think of something or that Riku was willing to sacrifice, but Roxas burrowed his head further into his arms and let out a watery sigh.

"You were right," he whispered without raising his head, "it's not that simple. It never _fucking_ was, not after the war started, stupid!"

"Roxas..." Riku began but he wasn't sure what to say because he believed every weighted word Roxas said.

Roxas continued to curl in on himself, the sunlight barely reaching him as he leaned father back against the wall. Feeling his own heart was being constricted, Riku was moved to sympathy. He reached out his hand and rubbed Roxas' shoulders until the boy's head was coaxed out of it shell.

"Hey, it's not easy but I promise you that I am trying to find a way to end this...as I'm sure Axel is," Riku said, his voice growing a little strained on his last few words.

Roxas' head lifted from his knees and he looked at Riku with stunned and dripping eyes. Surprisingly, Riku didn't feel embarrassed to be looking at Roxas while tears rolled down his cheeks. Perhaps it was he looked just like Sora, but even he hadn't seen Sora cry often. Maybe he wasn't unnerved because both Sora and Roxas had so much to do with the warm and comforting sides of the heart, or maybe it was just his heart that felt for both boys.

Timidly Roxas smiled and as if he realized that he too wasn't ashamed by his tears, he stopped pawing at them and let the last tumble uninterrupted from his face.

* * *

><p>Riku stayed the night at Sora and Roxas', spending most of his time chatting with Roxas since Sora had been carried into the living room to sleep on in a nest of pillows and blankets on the floor. Riku and Roxas sat in the kitchen where they could keep an eye on Sora, but were far enough away not to be heard when murmuring and giggling.<p>

They reminisced on when they were younger about how they would play in the creek during the dry summer and keep to the safer fields in the spring and winter. They laughed at the numerous times Roxas got stuck in trees because he had followed Axel up, or at how Axel often beat Riku in races due to his extra inches in leg. Roxas joked that Riku's dislike for Axel came from believing that the redhead only seemed to be leading Roxas into trouble and that Riku was upset about being bested. Riku chuckled at the thought but felt a couple prickles of honesty in his pride.

Roxas put a hand over his mouth to snuff his laughter while Riku regarded him with a disapproving look.

"You'll wake Sora if you keep it up, hyena," Riku scolded.

Roxas sputtered out one more giggle before he sighed contentedly.

"Yes, mommy," Roxas ribbed and Riku shot him another stern look that only made Roxas giggle some more.

Catching his critical expression in the window pane set against the night sky, Riku couldn't help but agree with, albeit begrudgingly, that he did don a motherly expression now and again.

"I suppose it's alright that you consider me family," Riku said, turning from his reflection, "but I think I'd rather a different placement."

"I thought since Sora's not feeling too well he could have the daddy title," Roxas shrugged, "otherwise I'd just have you guys fight over it. It's not really a fair match right now."

"Fine, that's fair," Riku said with a grin as he leaned on the table, "but I was thinking 'brother' would be a spot I'm willing to fill."

Roxas' chuckles died in the airless seriousness of Riku's voice. The boys shared a smile before Roxas' eyes took on a mischievous glint.

Out of the corner of his mouth Roxas' voice slithered playfully across the table, "You don't have to ask. You can have it."

"I never thought I did have to ask. I think all my years putting up with you and your brother have earned me a place here. You're as much my brother as Leon is."

"I knew that but I think if you want to be my brother-in-law you're gonna have to ask someone else for that place."

Riku had been through quite a bit those last few months but none of the events had made him choke on the air he was going to use to retort. Roxas' laughter was renewed as Riku's usually stoic face burned red.

There was serious discussion mingled amidst the jibes and laughs. With Riku's Organization coat blanketing Sora, Roxas couldn't help but ask questions. Riku deflected a great deal of them but answered some that didn't draw blood when he withdrew the memory.

Eventually they both joined Sora in sleep, Roxas taking the couch and Riku curling his body against Sora's uninjured side. For Riku the morning came too soon. He had to pick his bones off the floor and reorganize himself again. He really had to leave, in fact he should have gone back to Twilight Town last night to send for Naminé to take a look at Sora's wound. When he woke up that morning his cheek was on fire because Sora had leaned his forehead. The wound didn't look right either, not that a bullet hole ever looked right in a person's body. The red eye that Roxas had blanched at yesterday now looked like a swollen and weeping eye and the haphazard stitches looked like eyelashes that curled in instead of out.

As Riku prepared to set out for Twilight Town, dressed in his Regiment uniform with his Organization outfit hidden in his bag, he caught Roxas watching him from the landing of the second floor. Roxas had his arms folded and his lip was crooked on his face as he slowly descended the stairs.

"So..." Roxas began, obviously uncomfortable about something. He straightened up when Riku said nothing and spoke again, "So, Riku, what will happen when Axel comes back from the training camp? Will you stop being an undercover agent?"

"No, I'll continue on there as long as I can," Riku answered as he finished lacing his boots.

"But Axel knows you and I'm not saying he would give you away..."

"If he's as good a soldier as everyone at the Organization keeps cooing over then he would," Riku said, causing Roxas to stare thunderstruck.

"He's a friend first before a soldier," Roxas said sadly as he hung on the banister like a wet blanket.

"I'm in a different platoon and a different rank than Axel so I shouldn't see much of him," Riku paused with his hand on the door as a thought struck him. He stared at Roxas who looked warily back at him, and he wondered if he should say what was on his mind.

"What?" Roxas asked, his brows furrowing and lips frowning.

"The place I'm most likely to see him is here."

"So you're saying I should leave him out in the cold? Geez, Riku, he's my best friend not a dog."

"Just until Sora's better. I don't want to have to worry about creeping around your house while trying to get Sora back on his feet. It should only take a week."

Roxas continued to frown but slowly nodded his consent as he said, "I'll try but...he's got a will of his own. And I haven't seen him in a long time."

Riku looked him up and down once more before stepping outside into the dark morning.

"I'll trust you to know what you're doing, I guess."


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary: **Riku is now part of the odd goings-on in his hometown and he has confirmed that a war is gradually working towards a peaking point. Sora has noticed some changes in Riku's patterns and he is just as determined as Riku is to save his home town to understand what is breaking between them. Many people made and make mistakes that have and will leave wounds that may become infected and refuse to heal, or ones that will scar over with the help of a friendly hand.

**Themes:** There is some romance between Sora and Riku as well as some mention of Axel/Roxas. Friendship in times when it is needed for strength. Adventure in the discovery of who really is the hero of the story. Angst for young men failing to see the light peeking through their dark actions. Hurt/comfort in the loss of lovers, brothers, beauty and pride. And humour, sometimes dark, for a break in all that drama.

**Author's Note:** I've been slow releasing again. To make up for it I'll be putting up two more chapters, not including this one in the two, this week. Perhaps more, but I've gotta grapple with exams for the next couple weeks. A big thank you to anyone who has returned to this story despite long droughts. The next two chapters should be worth the wait :)

* * *

><p><strong>Watching You<strong>

Riku spent the next couple days of his leave running from Twilight Town to the farmhouse. Most days Sora was asleep or his mind was fogged by a fever. On the days when his fever spiked high he didn't always understand that Riku was present, hadn't been present or had left or was leaving. It made Riku feel guilty to confirm with Sora that he would be back in a couple minutes when he was really gone for hours. There was just no point in trying to make Sora understand that he had slept the entire day and Riku had been gone for a good part of it.

Despite what Riku imagined Diz would say, he managed to snatch Naminé away for a couple hours to take a look at Sora. This first time she saw Sora was when Riku was the most anxious. Sora's fever had hit an all time high and the wound looked inflamed. Naminé had dropped to her knee and tentatively inspected the wound. Riku expected her to look about dismally and say tearfully that there was little she could do, but she set to work straight away, unabashedly tending to the wound and speaking to Riku about her time sticking on limbs or severing the final threads of sinews in the Twilight Town forces.

Riku was surprised how calm and collected the little nurse was. He regretted being away for so long now that he was seeing her unfold so confidently in the light of a grim situation.

She gave Sora a good prognosis, saying that the fever was burning out the infection but he would have to stay still for almost a week so as not to reopen what was already healed.

With his fears over Sora assuaged, his next worries were of Leon. Twilight Town had heard nothing from him and Riku had seen nothing of him while at the Organization. When it came to matters on Leon's disappearance and whereabouts both sides were silent as the grave, which Riku dreaded would be Leon's fate. The Organization wanted a shroud of mystery and Twilight Town was stumped and lamer without Leon's insight.

Riku re-entered the Organization, once again decked out in his black uniform, the Twilight Town Regiment uniform with its glistening, little three pronged crown was dulled by the cover of Sora's pillow.

He found Saix directing Lexaeus and his new group of trainees in the muddy courtyard outside of headquarters. Riku felt something like a dog skulking back to its master as he neared Saix. He was promptly chained by the utterance of his false name.

"Ansem, you've returned," Saix said with a stiff nod. "I didn't expect you to return from leave so soon."

"I figured I could do more good here than anywhere else," Riku said with a shrug, "I just needed a day's rest."

Saix nodded and didn't pry about where Riku had disappeared to. If Saix had asked Riku would have said he had been to his home in the Citadel Ven. Saix was all business as he said, "Marluxia has asked for your assistance as soon as you returned. I have granted you permission to aid him. After I will need you to help corral Xigbar's returned soldiers."

In his mind Riku groaned and rolled his eyes. He wished that Marluxia would give up on Riku's aid and either expose him or burned all he knew of him. This odd dance they were doing frustrated and worried him. Then there was the added stress of planning his steps around Axel's. Although, he heard that Axel was one of Xemnas' favourites since they had many private talks together.

"Yes, sir," Riku said with a curt nod and made to seek out Marluxia. He felt someone's gaze on him as he walked across the courtyard and as he turned to enter the building he peeked out from beneath his cap to see Saix just turning around. He felt warmer now that Saix had looked away.

* * *

><p>Naminé left a quick note on Kairi's pillow as she donned street clothes and a wicker basket full of supplies. She put a handkerchief over the basket top and tied another around her head. Doctors, nurses and anyone else in the medical corps weren't supposed to be targets, but she wasn't trusting of the Organization after they raided the hospital. Naminé couldn't help feel that the hospital being trashed was because Xemnas still considered her a threat. The only threatening thing she had done so far was draw a detailed map of the places she knew in Hallow Bastion, which hadn't been helpful yet because the Twilight Town soldiers barely had enough manpower to keep the Organization out let alone attack their core. She took her white armband just in case she was stopped.<p>

She stuck rigidly to the frozen gravel path and kept her head bowed. There was gunfire in the trees and alarmingly close to Twilight Town's wooden walls and barricades. The only time she strayed into the trees was when she knew Sora and Roxas' farm was close. She meant to make her way quietly through the forest to the back of the house where the barns were and slip in through the backdoor, but she heard something crunch the dying leaves and twigs very near to where she stood.

She became as still as the trees around her and dared not let her white clouds of breath give her away. Her little heart beat like a rabbit's when a wolf prowled somewhere in the shadows. She would have preferred a wolf because animals had a tendency to growl before they struck, the Organization member didn't.

In a single, fluid motion, a strong hand clapped her shoulder spun her around, grabbed her basket and planted a foot on her stomach. With a huff Naminé was on her knees, feeling the pain burn and fade from her stomach and back.

Her basket was rifled through and the contents were tossed to the ground to sink below the dead leaves. Her breathing came out hard but she wasn't as afraid as she thought she ought to be. What she felt the most was anger at how the Organization would stop a civilian who was going to help someone belonging to neither side and then _waste_ perfectly good bandages and medication. This was beyond insulting and running into stupidity.

"Monster," she breathed.

"Attempting to bewitch me? You'll have to try harder than that," that deep, gruff voice said from beneath his hood.

Naminé knew nothing of knives that weren't used for precocious and minute uses so she had none on her. She carried instead a syringe tucked and capped up her sleeve. She had only brought it with her because she feared a confrontation like this, though she had doubted she would have the chance to use it. If she was to be completely honest with herself, she had brought it along for herself if she was captured. As she heard the man's voice anger coursed through her stronger than any venom she had in a needle.

For the first time she looked into the eyes of the man who had orchestrated her parents murder. His eyes were as dark as his hair and his features were formed by harsh and heavy lines. If she had known his name she would have hissed it as if she was casting a spell and maybe it would haunt his last moments. She didn't know him other than by the name of murderer, dog, butcher and monster, so she glared and refused to reply.

"The General was right to believe you are a devious, little snake. For your friends' sake, I hope there's no one left living to mourn you, witch," he said, lifting her by the back of her head and drawing one of his many long blades from his hip.

While he drew his weapon from his sheath Naminé uncapped her needle and sunk it in his thigh, pressing as hard on the plunger as she could. She kicked away from him, leaving some of her hair in his grasp, but as long as she put a couple seconds worth of distance between them then she could slip away. From behind the safety of a tree she watched him stumble about the forest, banging against trees and getting tangled in thorny bushes. As she turned her pale, contemptuous face from his sight and disappeared into the foliage, she hoped she looked otherworldly to him so he would leave this world with a little of the fear he had put her and her family through.

* * *

><p>When Naminé returned to the hospital, fruitless in her expedition to check up on Sora, she saw Kairi standing worriedly next to her jeep with the keys already in the ignition. When she approached her best friend, Kairi's features twitched but she didn't say a word. She could see Naminé's cheeks were flushed with excitement and dirt, moss and leaf clung to her friend's legs.<p>

For a moment Naminé and Kairi just stood staring at each other like reflections of one another. Then the sad and dark emotions poured into Naminé's heart and flooded out of her eyes. She reached out her hands and fell blindly into Kairi's arms, finding them warm and already opened. Like a harsh down pour that fades after a few seconds, Naminé's pain and nightmares left her and Kairi's love took its throne and made her castle beautiful again.

* * *

><p>Marluxia wasn't in his office or the surrounding corridors. When Riku couldn't find Marluxia he wound his way through the prison cells looking for Leon as he had intended to do after reporting to Saix. He didn't find Leon either and worry quickened his pace and caused him to speed blindly around a corner. The result was head to head crash with another soldier. The soldier squeaked and Riku huffed as their collision knocked them to the floor, well knocked the other soldier to the ground; Riku caught himself.<p>

In Riku's frenzied state of mind he forgot that he was a higher ranking soldier than this boy and had a hate against the Organization. He offered a hand up to the other boy who, with a groan, accepted his help only to catch sight of who it was helping him up and let go with a jittery sort of scream.

"Oh, man! I'm so sorry, sir," the boy said, scrambling to his feet and attempting to tuck in his shirt while bowing and saluting.

Remembering his rank, Riku was about to tell the guy off but bit back his tongue. Maybe this was one of Marluxia's recruits, maybe that Zexion that people had been talking about. _He might know where Leon or Marluxia was_, Riku thought.

"It's fine," Riku said curtly, waving off the other boy's salute. "Are you Zexion?"

"Huh? Me? No, I'm Demyx, sir, but I know where Zexion is if you want me to tell you where he is. Or – or take you to him."

"No, I'm not looking for him. I'm looking for his superior," Riku said, losing interest in the funny, blond soldier.

"Oh! Marluxia. Zex is with Marluxia watching a questioning," Demyx said, pointing in a vague direction down one of the many grey halls.

Riku stared sceptically at the soldier as he tripped over his untied shoe laces. "You're sure?"

"Huh? Yeah, Zex and me are friends. We trained-"

"Take me to him," Riku commanded and Demyx stopped talking and turned on the spot to jog down the halls. Riku smirked and shook his head, guessing that the boy just wanted to be rid of Riku and the wrath his rank gave him.

He was led to a hallway with two doors close together. Demyx looked confusedly between the two and had his finger out pointing from one to the other as if using eenie, meenie, minie, moe to deduce which door Marluxia was behind. His lips were even working under his breath. Riku shook his head at the soldier, wondering how this boy survived the Organization's training camp. Riku reached for the left door just as Demyx reached for the right and they bumped into each other again.

"Man, I'm really not having a great day. Your guess is probably as good as mine," Demyx said, taking his hand off the doorknob and backing away as though Riku was about to let a tiger out from the room. "He's in one of them. Probably. Sorry, I've gotta go. Sir."

Riku watched the soldier retreat with a smirk on his face before he opened the door.

At first he thought he had opened a door to a large, dark closet, but a pane of glass let in a glaring light from, what Riku guessed due to the doors' proximity, the room Demyx had pointed Riku to. Marluxia was in the dark room, sitting in a chair while writing notes on what he observed in the room over. He glanced up at the dull light Riku's entrance brought into the gloom.

"Ansem, you are back early from your leave," Marluxia said with little surprise.

Riku closed the door but didn't move any farther into the room. Marluxia gave him a searching look as if he was checking to see if the letter was still in his pocket. Riku crossed his arms and gave Marluxia a stubborn look. The senior officer just blinked and turned back to his perusal of the other room. Riku couldn't see from this angle what was going on in the opposite room, but he could hear a man's voice emanating from a speaker somewhere beyond the glass.

As Riku craned his neck and squinted to see into a snow-white room, Marluxia nodded his head towards the window and said, "Ansem, why don't join us in our observations. Luxord, the man in the other room, is almost done with his...questioning."

Riku was about to ask if 'us' meant Larxene was hidden in one of the dark corners of the room when a smaller someone peered around Marluxia. Riku froze as he recognized Xion's questioner who sat with his own clip board of notes beside Marluxia. Zexion, Riku finally remembered was the name he had been called at the Citadel Ven and it was also one of the name's he had heard echoed amongst the ranks for being a naturally talented youth. He was mentioned almost as much as Axel, but he didn't seem like the perfect soldier type. He was small, more bone than muscle and had eyes that were very keen, too keen to take in a full picture at once and more to see it for the parts that composed it. The way he stared at Riku, or maybe _into_, made Riku cautious and his face became as blank as the grey hallways outside the door. Zexion lost interest in Riku and went back to staring into the white room.

"There is a chair to my right, Ansem. Take a seat," Marluxia said.

Riku did and was just about to look into the room before him when Marluxia cleared his throat subtly to draw Riku's attention. The pink haired man gave him what looked like a warning look and let his pen tap a more or less blank page of his notes. Riku read the message from the corner of his eye.

_Zexion is watching you. Disclose nothing._

Riku looked away from Marluxia with a blank expression on his face, but in his chest fluttered a flurry of emotions, memories and pain. Luxord, another one of Xemnas' top dogs, stood before Leon who sat bound to a metal chair with his hands tied behind his back. His face was pale but just as stony as ever while Luxord paced before him.

"Do you have nothing in your hand to play?" Luxord asked Leon, "Not even a low card? It could save your life..."

"I don't like repeating myself, so this is the last time I'll answer that question," Leon said with a raspy voice, "I have nothing to say to you."

"Not even a name of the kingdom in which your king hides?" Luxord prompted while Zexion scrawled fiercely on his board. Riku wonder if Zexion was drawing Leon's stoic face since he said nothing. If that was the case then Zexion would have a lot of similar pictures on that pad of paper.

"Very well. We leave your fate up to luck," Luxord said as he drew a revolver from his hip holster. Luxord inserted a single bullet and spun the chamber. In a tone Riku had often heard Diz use when speaking to the class, Luxord spoke to Leon, "My rules are rather simple. I will continue as I have done for the past hour to ask you questions and you are to answer them. If you refuse to answer I will pull the trigger and if luck is kind you will not be shot. As it is for every man, woman and child on this planet, luck will run out. You don't have to worry about dying today; the aim is for pain. Bet which body parts you will, but know that guns have less humanity then you believe us in the Organization to have. We begin."

Riku sat calmly in his chair, doing little more than blinking at the deformed game before him. He felt a swelling of something in his chest and the sensation felt just like his feeling of guilty uselessness at Xion's examination. He made an effort to keep his palms flat on his lap.

Luxord had the gun's muzzle nosing Leon's right bicep as he asked, "What is the name of your king?"

Leon remained still and silent.

Luxord pulled the trigger and nothing but a gentle _click_ was heard.

"Only the unluckiest find a bullet in their first match with Lady Luck," Luxord said calmly as he moved the muzzle to Leon's right shoulder. "Your king's name?"

Leon didn't look at the gun, his gaze was locked with Luxord's.

_Click_.

"Perhaps a new question? After this one I'm afraid your chances will be diminished to a mere fifty percent. Where is the location of your king?"

Luxord had the gun kissing Leon's right knee. His lips refused to move.

_Bang!_

Leon lurched as far forward as his restraints allowed and his cry of pain was lost in the echoing of the gun. Luxord placed his gun back in its holster and left the room without another word.

Riku focused all of his attention on remaining still and impassive as he watched Leon. Admiration for Leon shone in his heart and hate for the man with the gun and the three in the viewing room scorched his throat. He couldn't even imagine how Leon had sat so quietly and even now how he only allowed himself a single cry of pain.

Marluxia closed his notebook and turned to Riku with the same cautionary look he had in his eyes when Riku first entered the room. He spoke calmly as he said, "Ansem, you are not from the information sector so you've had no proper training in reading or understanding thought processes, but I would like to know what you gathered from the last part of the questioning."

Riku swallowed silently and said evenly, "The prisoner was noncompliant and stubborn."

_Leon acted as he always has, honourable and loyal._

"This suggests that he has been trained to say nothing on matters important to the Twilight Town Regiment."

_He's our Goddamn leader, our ideal protector and fighter._

"The only conclusion I can draw is...is he is a fool."

_My brother._

Marluxia nodded and his eyes shone with approval. "Sound reasoning, though narrow in what our next steps should be. Well done, soldier, you would do well in my sector. You have similar natural abilities like Zexion."

Zexion had been peering at Marluxia and when mentioned, stole a quick glance in Riku's direction. It might have been the gloom but Zexion's placid features seemed to become a glower as he looked at Riku.

"Zexion, Vexen will be tending to Leon shortly once he finishes treating Xaldin's poison. You are his immediate subordinate so I suggest you should go inform and aid him the best you can," Marluxia said.

Zexion nodded submissively and exited the room with a respectful, "Yes, sir."

Marluxia waited a few minutes before murmuring to Riku from the side of his mouth as he watched Leon straighten in his chair, "You did well just now."

"Fuck you," Riku croaked, staring at Leon. He had never seen Leon cry and he knew by his uneven breathing that Leon must have been in tears.

"I understand your feelings."

"No you don't, but I hope someday you do," Riku got up from his chair and walked to the door. "I delivered your letter but not to my king. If it reaches the king's eyes you can count yourself one lucky bastard. Don't speak to me and keep your mind freaks away from me."

Marluxia listened to what Riku had to say without comment. Riku turned to see if what he had said had rearranged any of his composed features. As it turned out, Marluxia was just staring wordlessly at Riku with his head resting in his hand. He seemed to be more interested in Riku than he was in his own feelings, or maybe he was just as cold as the other senior officers.

Riku let the anger and hate show in his eyes, let it animate his face in severe lines and pull his lips back, and only then did dread creep into Marluxia's eyes.

"I ask you, Riku, reconsider."

"Don't bother," Riku said as he opened the door and was nearly blinded by the dim light from the halls. In a severely final voice, Riku said as a parting word, "And for you it's Ansem."

* * *

><p>Riku put his hand on Sora's head and felt through the boy's hair the warmth of his fever. It wasn't as bad as couple days before, then it had been warm enough to boil water, but tonight it was more like the warmth of a fire from a couple feet away. The fever had a calmer feel about it since Sora now slept soundly and was himself when awake.<p>

Riku hadn't been aiming to wake Sora with his touch, he had only done so because he saw no sign of Naminé being there that day. He had asked for notes on Sora's condition and anything that could be done for symptoms like the fever, coughing or nausea, but there was nothing.

Since Sora was awake, Riku decided just to ask him how he felt.

"Mm good," he mumbled, barely awake, "Just tired."

"Something I know how to cure," Riku said, taking his hand from Sora's head and sliding off the edge of the bed. "Go back to sleep. I wasn't waking you for anything."

"I haven't seen you since...whatever day it was, but I know it wasn't yesterday. I was gone yesterday," Sora said as he lazily swatted at Riku's hand. He had a dopey smile on his face that made Riku smile, but not without worry. Riku hadn't visited yesterday, he had to stay well within the Organization's compound because he seemed to see Zexion everywhere and that could only mean that he was being followed. If Roxas was still awake he would ask him how Sora was yesterday and when Naminé last came by.

Riku grabbed the hand that swung limply as him and placed it back under the covers. The disappointment in Sora's eyes only made him look more wretched than he already did.

"We'll compromise then. Move over a bit," Riku said as he walked over to the other side of the bed and helped Sora ease a little closer to the edge without wrenching his arm. Sora looked over his shoulder as Riku rested himself on the covers and carefully placed his arm across Sora's hips. Riku hissed a warning as Sora rolled onto his side so that his back faced Riku's front full on.

"Now you can move closer," Sora said, tucking Riku's hand under his arm and bringing his fingers to his lips.

Riku did as he was told and rested his forehead against the nape of Sora's neck. Like a meadow that moved its little green part in a slight breeze they were still. Only fingers moved and breathing shifted bones and skin some.

"You have to go to sleep now," Riku murmured.

"Hmm?" Sora said groggily.

"Never mind."

* * *

><p>An hour later Riku opened his eyes, took his hand away from Sora's warm breath and uncurled from his back to slid noiselessly out of bed. He made his way out of Sora's room into the unlit hallway where a faint beam of light peeked out from under Roxas' door.<p>

Riku hadn't seen Roxas since early in the evening when the younger brother brought food up to Sora. He had looked dead on his feet with his eyes drooping and the tray of dinner almost taking a dive onto the floor. Roxas might have fallen asleep in bed with his light on and if that way the case then Riku wouldn't wake him.

Noiselessly he opened Roxas' bedroom door and spotted Roxas lolling awake and shirtless in his bed.

"I noticed your light was on still," Riku said as he stepped farther into the room. Roxas' eyes went wide as he entered and he pulled the blankets up higher, "and I just wanted to ask if Sora had seen Nami - "

Roxas' gaze whipped to something that was hidden from Riku's sight until he took another step into the room and his sentence ended bluntly. Axel, _Roxas'_ _boyfriend_ Riku had to remind himself though it was hard to think of him as such as the Organization soldier did up his uniform pants in a cocky sort of way. He grinned unabashedly. Riku's face began to burn and he told himself it was anger, not a blush or jealousy. Axel wasn't the only man in the world to ever get lucky so he could stop smirking like he was.

With a deft swiftness, Riku stepped in and closed the door silently. His eyes flickered all around the room, concentrating on the window where someone may easily get a look at his face, then his gaze fell gravely back on Axel.

Waspishly, Riku asked Roxas, "What is he doing here?"

It was obvious what Axel had been doing there now that Riku caught an eye-full of Roxas just barely covered by his sheets and sweaty before he had a reason to be embarrassed. Axel snorted as if to say 'can you really not guess?' but Riku ignored him. Roxas, lowering his eyes and pulling the blanket coyly up higher, seemed to understand what Riku was really asking. _Is it safe for him to be here? Does he know about me?_ And _Did he come just to visit you or does he have another agenda?_

When Roxas kept his eyes lowered and didn't answer, Riku understood that to mean he couldn't speak openly about the situation and that no, Axel hadn't come to the farm without orders. Riku would have to be very careful when leaving tonight and would probably have to take the long way back to the Organization.

"What were you thinking?" Riku groaned, shaking his head at Roxas who seemed to sink lower into the bed.

"If Sora's allowed to have you over then I should be allowed to have Axel over. Fair's fair," Roxas said through gritted teeth as he looked down at his lap.

Riku came to stand before Roxas with an incredulous look on his face. Roxas' spine seemed to lose a couple vertebrae as Riku's heavy gaze fell on him.

"Don't be stupid," Riku said softly before whispering a bit stricter, "You _know_ the difference in risk."

Roxas' head swung back and forth gently as his head hung but when he finally looked up at Riku, a spark of defiance shone like a bead of light in dark uncertainty. It was as if Roxas had said 'we are _all_ taking risks in being here'. Riku frowned grimly and shook his head.

"Not all of us need to take risks," Riku said under his breath, causing Roxas to look away with distraught vehemence in his eyes.

"Excuse me, but what the hell is going on?" Axel asked cattily as he inserted himself between Roxas and Riku. He crossed his arms making his muscles flex and came off rather threatening, conscious or not of doing so. Riku sneered and considered telling him to put a shirt on.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Riku said, taking a precautionary step back from Axel. He knew first hand Axel had a wild attitude and he now knew that the Organization kept him for that reason. He was like an unbroken horse being paraded around in a bridle but someday Xemnas would take the reins and either break his knees or teach him how to ride.

Axel cocked an eyebrow.

"Alright, you caught me. I've been sleeping with Roxas in the hopes that you would walk in on us so I could question you," Axel said as he drew his hands held up guiltily, Riku watching every movements. He winked at Riku who remained indifferent and added, "And all without pants on. That's just how we get things done in the Organization."

Riku tried not to imagine Saix walking around naked as he replied with equal amounts of sarcasm, "Right, well I hope the fuck was amazing because it just might cost you your life."

"Is that a threat or a promise, babe?"

Riku's fingers were clenched into fists and out of the little respect he had for Roxas, which actually should have diminished since the boy was naked, he didn't punch Axel. Though the guy was smirking at him in a very inviting way. Riku wasn't even conscious of slipping into his cold, commanding tone that he used when instructing the recruits at the Organization, but he did and with the realization came a thrill of chilled dislike for himself. Anything that belonged to his life as Ansem had no place in any room of Sora and Roxas' house, no matter what snakes crawled in Roxas' sheets.

With a vaguely apologetic look that came across more as disapproving, Riku said, "Go back to your Hallow Bastion dogs, Axel, before someone else gets hurt."

"No thanks. I gotta make sure my Roxas is A-okay," Axel snarled back and moved to stand in front of Roxas even more.

"Yeah? Well it's the same for Sora and me," Riku said, bristling at Axel's insinuation that Riku would even think of hurting Roxas or let pain come to Sora. Well, _more_ pain Riku thought glumly. With wounded pride he snapped, "If you really wanted to help Roxas you should just disappear. It was the Organization who shot Sora so thanks Axel, you really helped us out there."

"Hey, that's enough! You know Axel wasn't there," Roxas interjected, his blush becoming a flush of anger.

"It's cool, let him have his temper tantrum," Axel said with a smirk. "I guess it's part of Twilight Town's regiment to stick poles up their soldier's asses."

_That would be the Organization, actually_, Riku thought but couldn't say a word in his home's defence.

"Either that or," Axel said, a dangerous and daring light tempting Riku's anger in the redhead's eyes. "Or someone's cranky 'cause his boyfriend's out of commission."

Riku's respect for Roxas couldn't hold him back now. Axel shouldn't have looked so surprised that Riku decked him in the face. Really, Axel should have been expecting it somewhere else; a low blow for a low blow but Riku was after the organ that uttered the slight.

Axel laughed and chilled Riku so much so that he his arm froze in its second assault. The chuckle sounded as if Axel actually enjoyed their little, territorial spat and welcomed Riku's fury. It egged on the worst in Riku and only made him feel horrible, as if he had sunk to Axel's level.

Maybe life was mocking him since Riku's hesitancy to strike caused him to be forced to his knees with Axel's height and weight bearing down on him. His arms stung where Axel twisted and his knees grew numb.

"Fucking army idiots," Roxas swore and Riku heard him throw off the covers. "Axel, don't -"

"Shush, Roxas. Mommy and Daddy are having a chat about our little boys. Now, Riku," Axel said with sickening sweetness as he pulled Riku's long hair behind his ear and whispered, "what is it that makes you think your side is any better than ours?"

"Y-you haven't seen what you higher ups do. How m-my home's been changed, even-even the people," Riku chuckled in a strangled way with Axel's arm constricting his throat. "You have no _fucking_ clue how cruel t-the Organization is. Y-you'll see soon and you'll w-wish you'd been o-on the other side."

"Oh really?"

"In Twilight Town, we pull the trigger because we want to. Y-you pull it because you're just one part of the Organization's body a-and don't even pretend that you're the brain," Riku huffed, his face red with lack of oxygen. His knees began to quiver with the stress and weight of Axel's body, but he refused to bend any further.

"Axel, enough!" Roxas barked, slamming his hip into Axel's crouched body. It didn't seem to do much but Roxas had enough sway over the catty soldier's heart that he released Riku.

"Yeah," Axel said disdainfully and straightened up, "I've had enough too."

Riku _tch_ed and left the room without another glance in either boy's way. _Let them burn in each other's arms then_, Riku thought vengefully. A couple steps down the hall and standing outside of Sora's room where he slept on peacefully, Riku regretted that thought. That wasn't him, he loved Roxas and wanted him to be as happy as possible which meant Axel shouldn't be harmed. Riku should have let the thought go, he was angry, tired and worried; everyone had cruel thoughts that they never actually wanted to see beyond the confines of their skull. But he ruminated and looked at his thoughts and motions that had occurred in Roxas' room just now.

He put a hand to his face and was hardly comforted by its usual shape. All his features were where they should be and in the right shape, but he didn't feel like him. He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh that turned into a tortured laugh. Had things that Ansem would say slipped out when he talked with Roxas and Axel? What thoughts and emotions were his and not the chilled officer's? He was surprised to see his reflection in the little mirror in the hallway. He had expected the glass to be cracked so badly that it would reflect something like a kaleidoscope. He didn't return to Sora that night.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary:** Riku is uncertain, worried, isolated and slipping. He's going to run, just not sure where to.

**Themes:** The next few chapters have few breaks in drama. The cheery, little light in this chapter is Demyx.

* * *

><p><strong>Goodbye Blue Sky<strong>

The annihilation of Twilight Town seemed to coincide with Riku's feelings of self-destruction. He was often put on the frontlines and forced to make decisions that could end some of his own people's lives due to Zexion's or Saix's presence. Saix relinquished some power to him, allowing Riku a small platoon of soldiers to take into town. If Saix radioed in that Riku was to deal with an upcoming barricade then Riku gave the orders to fire. He would see people from both sides dying but pieces of him seemed to leave with the Twilight Town soldiers that slipped limply from rooftops and sagged against crated walls. He never fired a bullet of his own, but he ordered other soldiers to, and what where they if not his bullets? And it is unreasonable to blame little, unimportant things; everyone blames the wielder not the weapon. Riku ducked hi head in the pouring rain and ordered his platoon back for the day.

He wasn't thinking anymore because his thoughts only confused and hurt him. He would ask himself questions like _could I have saved that girl in the fire and played it off as an act of compassion rather than disloyalty?_ Or _could I have taken the batteries out of my radio and said I had to turn my troops back because I lost communication with my commanding officer?_ He stopped asking himself those questions because he realized how paranoid they were making him. He had started worrying that eating the food they served at Organization headquarters would somehow cause his brothers and sisters to starve and Kairi and Naminé to grow tired from having to deal with ten crying children, and eventually lead to Twilight Town's loss in the war. He was depriving himself of enough things already and even if his brain refused to work his mechanics still required fuel.

Riku was depriving himself of Sora though he continued to bring the still healing boy supplies from Twilight Town. He would deliver them in the dead of night when Sora should have been asleep and, if he was awake then, Riku would soundlessly leave whatever he had brought outside Sora's bedroom door. Sora was catching on to Riku's scheme since he now sat up in bed with his door open and light on despite the late time of night. Riku started leaving the supplies just inside the front door next to the doormat.

He was conscious that Xemnas had stationed troops around Sora's farm. He would see them prowling around the barn or along the edges of the forest. He didn't believe they were there for simple patrolling either; he suspected they were keeping an eye on Sora and, though he had no proof except for what Marluxia had warned him of, he felt they were watching out for him. However, Riku must have lost Zexion's interest, if he ever had it in the first place. After a couple days of seeming to find him in every meeting or patrol Riku was a part of he now saw nothing of those keen eyes. He didn't believe Zexion to be following him about either since Saix kept assigning Zexion to study alongside Vexen, a man who worked in the information sector, and to study under Marluxia.

Saix, though still as cold as the winds that were blowing winter in, seemed to be impressed with Riku's work. He actually gave Riku compliments for the calls he made, though without much glow or warmth. Apparently Saix's praise had gotten back to the General since Riku was now given an aid of his own, leaving him to wonder exactly who he had ever hurt so grievously. Riku found the task of turning Demyx into any sort of aid amusing at the best of times and dangerous at the worst. However, he would only have to spend about a week training him and after that allotted time Demyx would, hopefully, have synced with Riku's rhythm. It would be a task and a half since Demyx seemed to have his own beat which was loud, fumbling and often caused him to trip over Riku's feet.

At first Riku was worried that Demyx was the new Zexion and had been given to him to keep tabs on Riku's movements. He came to realize that had Demyx any sort of lock on his mouth it was long ago broken and now squeaked with every free thought that passed his lips.

Riku was forever telling Demyx to be quiet during meetings, to lace and shine his boots and to try to remember to wear his cap when they went out on patrol.

Despite the frustration Riku felt over turning Demyx into any sort of soldier, he didn't mind having the boy around for a couple of reasons. For one, Demyx acted as a sort of ward to Larxene as well as Marluxia. Larxene didn't seem to enjoy Demyx's company so she steered clear of Riku and Marluxia wouldn't speak to Riku unless he was completely alone. Several times Marluxia shot him looks while Riku was in the presence of Demyx, but never said a word to him. The other good thing about Demyx was he was often sent to patrol around Sora's farmhouse at night and upon being asked how his patrol was he would eagerly tell of anything and everything he had heard or reported. Demyx was somewhat of a gauge for Riku. If he said anything about the Organization being suspicious of the farmhouse then Riku would not venture to Sora's for a couple of days.

Though Riku rigidly and frigidly believed that the Organization, himself included, brought only bad things to the world he felt that there was some hope for Demyx if he could keep the boy's hands clean. Riku felt a spark of who he had been light inside him when he kept Demyx from doing more than patrolling or delivering messages. The spark of hope flared when Demyx looked relieved that he wouldn't have to use his gun for the day.

Riku knew that Demyx was with the Organization as a soldier and that someday he would have to perform the actions that had left ice in Saix's heart and darkness in Riku's thoughts.

Riku and Demyx walked slowly about the headquarters' perimeter, watching their breath rise and the moon set.

"Man, I am _tired_. I haven't slept for a whole day," Demyx said with a huge yawn that brought sleepy tears to his eyes. He rubbed them away and asked, "Aren't you tired, Ansem?"

"It's 'sir' to you, soldier," Riku said coolly.

"Oh, sorry, Ans – sir. I meant sir."

Riku smirked and looked out to the frozen fields beyond. The ground glistened with frost as dawn glowed pink on the horizon. He wouldn't have minded being informal with Demyx but he had adopted a cold nature that refused to melt, even with Demyx's bright nature.

"And no, I'm not tired," Riku said, "I'll stay awake until I'm sure we're safe."

"That's – is that even possible?" Demyx asked, giving Riku a furtive glance and adding 'sir' hastily at the end of his question.

Riku didn't answer.

Sounding nervous and awkward, Demyx started in on a new topic. He didn't seem to enjoy cold silences.

"You sound like my buddy Axel. He keeps pushing himself to do the best he can so that he can keep Roxas safe," Demyx laughed as he said, "He gets into trouble all the time with the General, and Saix always seems to have an eye on him. Axel doesn't care though, he does what he wants. It would creep me out if Saix was always watching my back."

"Officer Saix is my immediate superior," Riku said flatly.

"Oh...oh yeah. I meant he's a very, uh, organized guy," Demyx said, kicking a pebble before him and fidgeting with his hands.

"He is a cold man," Riku said matter-of-factly.

"He really is," Demyx muttered as the pebble went flying.

"It's rather frustrating and intimidating."

"Oh man, is it ever!" Demyx agreed, smiling brightly at their shared opinion.

"I've been told I'm just like him," Riku said expressionlessly to which Demyx blanched and stumbled over his tongue. Demyx was saved from replying and Riku's fun was ended when Xaldin strolled up alongside them. Xaldin and Riku shared respective nods while Demyx nervously saluted the senior officer.

"Officer Ansem, General Xemnas wishes to speak with you and your superior in his office. You are relieved from your watch," Xaldin said, taking up Riku's place.

Demyx seemed to wither with envy at Riku's dismissal from the cold and boring watch. Xaldin gave Demyx a look that straightened the blonde's spine.

"Ansem," Xaldin asked, while peering with a curious express at Demyx. Riku felt as wary as Demyx looked about their superior's tone, but merely paused to listen to what Xaldin had to say. "Would you mind if I borrowed your subordinate today? I'm in need of an assistant."

Riku let his gaze slide over to Demyx who looked worried and fidgeted all the more. He was about to ask what for but the colder side of him said that he really shouldn't care what happened to Demyx.

"Of course," Riku said, turning away from Demyx's plaintive eyes.

* * *

><p>Riku roused Saix and they headed to Xemnas' office together. Both men took seats before Xemnas' sagging desk and sat calmly and without expression. Their quietude seemed to impress Xemnas for he smirked and spoke straightaway.<p>

"Soldiers, as you may have heard, Marluxia and the officers of his sector have been looking into a series of information leaks over the past couple months."

Riku found his seat rather uncomfortable at the moment but he did no more than nod along with Saix at the information.

"I regret to say that though the Organization is diligent and thorough in its processes, Officer Marluxia has been unable to gather much information on the spy," Xemnas' strange, yellow eyes held the anger of a firestorm but his tone and body language were mute of any passion. He picked up a note from his desk and perused its contents before looking up again with the beginnings of a smile on his lips. "What has been discovered is that the spy is loyal to the town to the East and likely born from that wasted land. We have also learned that he visits the makeshift hospital regularly, though we are unsure why."

"Perhaps to deliver our medical supplies to his or her true allies?" Saix supplied.

Xemnas shook his head and said, "He wouldn't be able to take much with his sole body and no corps. We have no reason to believe there are multiple spies; the amount of information leaked hasn't been detrimental, just annoying. He is a single flea, nota an infestation. Also, there have been no reports of supplies going amiss in large quantities so that hypothesis is explained away."

"Then perhaps his commanding officer is stationed there or the hospital is their coveted point of juncture for transferring information," Saix suggested.

Xemnas nodded and gave Saix and appraising look.

"An astute deduction, Saix. I too came to that conclusion and Marluxia found my theory to be quite probable. Which leads to why you and your subordinate are here," Xemnas said with a nod to Riku.

Riku felt like Xemnas had reached out his hand and wrapped his fingers around Riku's heart as he said, "Two days from now, we are to raid the hospital at sunrise and take either the spy or his commanding officer. If they resist then we will show now mercy. Let the blood of their wounded stain their consciences if they refuse to surrender."

Xemnas turned his glowing eyes onto his prized pupil. "Saix, you shall lead the raid. Your subordinate will be in charge of reporting to me on the operation's progress since you will be busy instructing your troops. Is this understood, soldiers?"

"Yes, sir," both Saix and Riku replied, but before anyone made to move Riku had a question to ask which he was surprised Xemnas nor Saix hadn't answered.

"Excuse me, General, but I have an issue I would like to raise," Riku said, strongly but politely.

Xemnas showed no surprise and seemed to even leer a bit as he nodded. "Yes, Officer Ansem?"

"Forgive me, sir, I may be stepping out of line, but how can you be sure that the spy or his superior will be at the hospital then? You may just being killing ignorant people and wasting your time," Riku said, trying not to let his jaw clench. This was different than Xion and worse than what they were doing to Leon. Riku knew for fact that a great deal of the people in that hospital were innocent. Some of the wounded were civilians who weren't fighting for either side. He wouldn't be surprised if Kairi picked up Organization members and had Naminé heal them before locking them behind bars. Aerith and his brothers and sisters were housed there too.

"Astute as well, Ansem. I am glad to see you have trained him with expertise, Saix, though I should expect no less from my own pupil," Xemnas said with a nod to both men before him. He directed his attention on Riku as he said, "No information has been hidden from you soldier and none will be hidden from the spy as well. You are to spread the rumour among the ranks that we raid the hospital in two days' time. If the spy or his superior wishes to save their wounded then they will most likely come forward. The fate of their people is in their hands."

* * *

><p>Upon exiting the room Riku separated wordlessly from Saix to spread the word among the ranks, which he had no intention of doing and every intention of writing to Diz for some guidance. It was a wonder he didn't throw up outside of Xemnas' door from the whirling thoughts in his head. All his answers to his situation were half formed and seemed blurred, like looking at faces as he spun on a carousel at a high velocity. The faces looked demented and he just felt sick from trying to find and focus on a single person in the colours and noise.<p>

Riku stopped at an open window and tried to think of what else he could do if he didn't hear back from Diz before nightfall. As the cold wind hit him and calmed his mind slightly with its severe gale, he thought to ask Leon. He had some seniority and could probably ask the guards of Leon's cell to leave for a private discussion with the prisoner. Riku decided to find his older brother; Leon would know better than Diz.

Riku was just rounding the corner to the information sector with determination making his feet slap the ground when he spotted Demyx. His subordinate was taking clumsy steps backwards while his eyes stared at something ahead of him. His face was bloodless and his eyes wide and swelling with fear.

"_Oh, man_..." Demyx moaned as he covered his eyes, "Why _today_?"

Xaldin's voice snapped angrily at Demyx and Riku thought he heard his name called by a hoarse voice, his _real_ name and then a gunshot raged in his ears. Riku turned to stare at what Demyx had been backing away from. Riku's heart and hope fell through his chest and landed dully on the floor at his feet. Leon sank to his knees before Xaldin while looking over his shoulder at Riku with a warm smile on his face, but the life had left his eyes.

* * *

><p>No word had come from Diz that day and with Leon's death, Riku had sunk into a dark world that only he and, to his great pain, the worst of him inhabited. Riku desperately wanted out, wanted to cry, wanted to be somewhere with people he liked while Ansem kept saying in a cold mantra, <em>be calm. Show nothing. Be calm.<em>

The better part of Riku got the better of him.

Terrified, lonely and predicting a dark and pointless end, Riku fled from the Organization. He didn't take a gun with him, a jeep or any of the clothes he had brought to headquarters with him on the first day. He didn't have a direction and for a while he just ran without thought. Then words and a memory that seemed from another life, they were so faded and soft, played in fragments in his mind. A boy tearing a photograph in half and telling him kindly, _if you're not okay then come back here._ He saw, as if from an onlooker's eyes a boy leaning against another boy on a white porch before a sunset. _And when you come back we'll put the pieces back together._

Riku changed his course and headed straight for Sora's farmhouse. The rain came shortly after.

* * *

><p>Riku thumped up the porch, panting and dripping water on the deck, turning the wood dark where he stepped. The rain was chilling to hail and clanging off the windows and rolling across the deck. The windows downstairs held no light in their panes but the ones upstairs glowed rosily and invitingly. Of course the door was open, with only the screen barring his way. Worried that Organization members were prowling the perimeters, Riku opened the door and stood dripping on the mat inside. There didn't seem to be anybody downstairs, no lights were on in the belly of the house and there was an odd stillness to the furniture, as if it had been petrified and he imagined even the dust hung motionlessly in the air.<p>

There was a creak at the top of the stairs and a testy voice falteringly asked, "Who's there?"

"Roxas, it's just..." Riku stopped with his hand on the rail as if he was about to ascend but he stayed put. He had almost introduced himself as Ansem.

"Riku?" Roxas said disbelievingly and his poked his head over the banister.

He descended a couple steps while giving Riku a shrewd glare.

"Haven't seen you in a while," Roxas huffed with a mutinous look on his face. Riku lowered his head, his hair tangling in drenched wisps before his eyes. Roxas stopped descending.

"Riku, are you alright?"

"How's Sora?"

"Missing you."

Riku nodded and muttered, "I know."

Roxas stared hard at Riku, trying to figure out what was working in the other boy's head. Riku looked pale where he wasn't flushed from running and his eyes met only the scuffed floorboards. Roxas was freaked out but he didn't want to turn Riku out into the weather or to the people he knew were waiting in the trees. Plus Sora had been asking and asking if Riku had said anything and if Roxas could do everything in his power to bring Riku to him.

"Well, Sora should be awake right now if you want to, y'know, go up and visit," Roxas said, letting his gaze flicker warily over Riku.

"Thank you," Riku said, again stopping himself from ascending because he realized he could pass for a mop if he dragged his feet on the floor. At least the Organization trench coat kept the water from the greater parts of his body.

"Don't let a little bit of water keep you from him. It's just rain, not an ocean you need to cross," Roxas said and coaxed Riku on with a nod to the upper floor.

Riku replied with a half smile that lasted for a second and faded as he passed Roxas. He felt the other boy's eyes follow him up the stairs and knew how strange this must look after weeks of creeping from town to town, having to change from uniform to uniform in the forest by the farmhouse and leaving things on the porch like a good natured ghost. Now he was dampening the floor and walking in heavy black gear through the halls, no longer a dream despite appearing like one out of the rain.

Sora's light was on, the door was open and a book lay face down on the boy's covers as he craned his neck like someone would over the edge of the world to see if the sun was rising. By the beam and happy swelling of his chest, it looked like the sun had risen for Sora.

Riku stood at the doorway in the dark hallway, and they held each other's gaze. Riku had so many wants that were collared by his many fears. He wanted to walk in that room, but there could be someone at the drawn window. He wanted to press Sora as close to his heart as he could but he feared aggravating Sora's arm. He wanted to kiss and touch Sora but he feared the happiness would be dimmed. He wanted to cry but was afraid to realize that he couldn't anymore; he hadn't over Leon.

"Hey, Riku," Sora said, his voice a little craggy but his frustration rang clear, "if you don't come in here then I'll chase you down. You've been away _again_ even after you said you wouldn't. Hang your stuff up and come here. _Now_."

Like he was still under orders, Riku entered and shut the door. He pulled off his hood and removed his cap and coat then hung them on the back of the door. He did feel lighter, physically and emotionally but his fear, mainly over the hospital, stuck to his heart as black as tar.

"Hey now," Sora said gently and he raised his one arm to beckon Riku forward. Riku drew closer and swung his leg over Sora's blanket laden lap. Sora's hand was wringing water as the back of his head as he mouthed against Riku's lip, "Now..."

Riku was starved for affection and warmth, luckily Sora was a good moderator after being conscious of his wound for a month now. He kept Riku from moving too fast or taking too much at once by keeping a hand in Riku's long, wet hair. He was frustrated that he couldn't hold Riku with his other arm but Riku pressed himself so near that Sora could feel through his shirt Riku's ribs knocking against his own.

When Sora refused to let him kiss deeper on his lips, with trembling hands Riku pulled Sora up higher and lowered himself to run his lips down Sora's throat.

Riku was saying something as he lifted himself from the blankets and moved the covers down enough to expose Sora's pyjama pants' top.

Sora tugged at Riku's hair as his head dipped down.

"Riku, don't. I'm fine with you just lying on me."

"Sora..." Riku said hoarsely as he leaned his head against Sora's twitching stomach.

He felt ashamed and guilty though he couldn't explain why. Maybe it had something to do with not knowing what Sora wanted and not knowing what to give and wanting to make up for all the bad he had done by loving Sora. Maybe he would feel better if he could give his love all to Sora; if he could shrink the shadow with something starlight bright. He didn't want to think, just work his body roughly against Sora's but he couldn't do that or the guilt would pour in faster if he made Sora cry out. Inhibition had a hold at the base of his skull, confusion had his lips just below Sora's navel.

Sora flinched and called Riku's name warningly as the soldier's face laid in his lap.

"I don't know what to do anymore," Riku admitted and a thrill of fear shot though his stomach. "I shouldn't be here right now. I _should_ be in town, sorting this mess out. If that's possible."

"It's possible," Sora said, petted Riku's head.

"You don't know that. Things are going wrong. People are dead and more are dying and no matter what I do, how well I play my part, everything dies. Or suffers," Riku said with all the emotion he had kept hidden when with Saix. He was overwhelmed and Sora was a rock cliff he could wet and pitch against.

Sora watched with pain blocking his heart how Riku's hands clawed at the blankets on either side of Sora's hips. Riku's back shook spasmodically and soundlessly.

"You're suffering," Riku choked out.

"Riku, calm down," Sora said as he tried to lift Riku's head with his one good hand. He had to let the tears brim in his eyes if he wanted to lift Riku's face. With a rasping voice Sora soothed, "Please don't cry. Riku, we'll think of something. Just talk to me. Kiss me and _we will think of something_."

Riku lifted his head from Sora's lap and dabbed at his eyes, then he laughed in a strangled way.

"It's okay, don't cry. Please, love," Sora said, his heart cracking and he couldn't explain why.

"I'm not. I can't," Riku said, raising his head higher and revealing a face wet from his hair but not around his eyes. His face fell from its sardonic laughter as he saw Sora's eyes streaming with tears over Riku's sad ruse.

Riku sat up and kicked himself out of bed.

"What are you doing?" Sora asked, shakily wiping his eyes and trying to keep them locked on Riku's movements.

* * *

><p>"What am I doing? I'm doing this! I've done this to <em>you<em>!"

Roxas' headshot up as he heard Riku's voice over the hail and rain pounding on the kitchen window. He slid his chair back and walked to the kitchen doorway as he heard Sora's voice reply.

"I'm upset because _you're_ upset. It's fine, it's normal. You know I feel too much sometimes," Roxas had to move to the bottom of the stairs to hear Sora as his voice lowered, "Just come back to bed."

Roxas heard creaking and thumping as if someone was pacing with a vigorous stride across the floor. The pacing made Roxas anxious, it made him writhe without even being a part of what was going on in Sora's bed room.

"No. I can't just return to you with all my problems. What was I thinking? What _the fuck_ am I doing here?"

"Come back to bed. You came here because we're better together, so _come here!_" Sora pleaded and Roxas was sure his brother was in tears. Riku better be as much of a dog as he claimed the Organization to be 'cause one he'd need the paws to dig himself out of the grave Roxas would bury him in. That was his thought, but he wasn't hot in the head, more jittery about the yelling.

"Look at _me_, look at _you_! Do we look better?" Riku asked.

"Don't go when you're this upset. Y-you'll only hurt yourself."

"I don't care. There are other people who will hurt worse than me."

"Don't be a martyr," Sora snapped. A silence followed that paralyzed all but the hail that railed on the house and wind that snapped the screen door. Roxas wished he could see one of their faces. This silence could be one of anger on Riku's part, could be one of intense pain for both, or maybe Riku stood before a stunned Sora with resolution.

"Riku...is t-that – is that why you're here? Is that what you're trying to tell me?" Sora asked fearfully.

"I don't know," Riku said gravely.

"Then what are you doing here?"

Just the hail and wind.

"Riku, what are you – RIKU!"

The voices grew louder as Riku opened the door spilling light on Roxas' face. He hadn't even realized that he had followed the ups and downs of their conversation to the top of the stairs.

"I'm breaking your heart," Riku said with so much bitterness in his face that Roxas flinched backwards and had to catch himself on the banister.

Riku had his coat and hat back on and he was heading with a dead set pace towards the stairs. Both Riku and Roxas craned their necks at the top of the stairs when they heard a _thump_ in Sora's bedroom.

"Sora, don't follow me," Riku said warningly.

"Because it's all for the best, right?" Sora cried from the spot on the floor where his legs failed him after days of lying in bed, sickness and fainthearted dreams. He put a hand to his face but a moment later he crumpled to the floor with a sharp cry as he leaned on his bandaged arm.

Riku called his name anxiously and was returning to his side when Sora looked up with fury seeping through the agony of his gaze. As he crouched next to Sora, he ducked his head and it seemed to Roxas, who was standing petrified on the stairs, that Riku couldn't look Sora in the eye.

Riku lightly took Sora's hand away from the wound but let both their hands go limp when he saw a bit of red peeking through. Roxas saw guilt form premature age lines under Riku's heavy eyes.

"I'm sorry," Riku said, letting Sora go and standing up. "I'll bring something from Naminé tomorrow."

"No, only if you promise that you're going to stay when you come back," he said and miserably shook his head.

"It's not that simple."

"Then you're _simply_ not going. You can do more good here-"

"No, I can do more out there," Roxas watched Riku bend his face through Sora's arms that clutched like branches at the wind. He kissed the top of Sora's head and snatched himself away then headed for the stairs

At the look of horror on his brother's face, Roxas stuck out his arm to bar Riku's way. Riku jerked to a stop with an unimpressed sigh. Brother and lover turned to stare at Sora when he yelled from his bedside.

"No! I don't understand. I _don't_ get it! So stay and explain. _Please_."

"Don't beg, Sora. I don't deserve it."

"Stop being such a -" Sora put his head in his hands and sobbed hard.

Riku turned to Roxas who had been busy staring at his brother with such pain in his own eyes and had let his arm go slack. He flexed it again when Riku spoke.

"Roxas, go to your brother. Don't let him follow me. He'll only get sick in this weather. I'll bring something tomorrow for his wound."

"Roxas, don't!" Sora called

"Where are you going?" Roxas asked, his voice quavering.

"Away."

"Don't let him go!"

"Sorry, but that's not a good enough answer. Tell me where you're going _and then_ I'll let you go," Roxas said through a growing snarl.

"It won't help you," Riku said flatly.

"Like fuck. Tell me where."

"He's going to kill himself!" Sora yelled, getting to his feet and lurching forward.

Roxas stared up at Riku with wide, disbelieving eyes and Riku looked down, calmly and gravely.

"If I tell you, you'll let me go?" Riku asked.

"I..."

"You said you would."

Roxas bobbed his head resignedly and muttered, "Fine. Where?"

"To Twilight Town for a talk with Diz."

Roxas nodded and let his arm drop. Sora yelled at him to not let Riku pass but he just stood limp and numb on the stairs.

As he passed, Riku gave Roxas a shove up the stairs and said, "Go calm Sora."

Roxas watched him make his way quickly out of the house.

Riku heard Sora calling his name and Roxas making hushing noises at the top of the stairs as he grabbed his boots and walked out the door. He let his boots slip from his hands and land heavily on the porch. Looking out into the frigid rain that dripped thickly from the rafters appeared to him as if he was standing on the borderline of a world of safety where he could watch another world rage.

He had just slipped his boots on when he heard a tumbling, thumping noise from inside the house. He turned and saw through the obscurity of the screen door someone fall against the wall and stare at him with pained and furious eyes. Riku turned and jogged into the deafening rain.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thrice a Prisoner**

By nightfall the rainclouds had passed and Riku was in Twilight Town's borders. He was thankful that the chill had driven the guards closer to buildings' walls and the rain had cloaked him entering the town. His Twilight Town uniform was stashed under the planks of Sora and Roxas' front porch. However, Riku believed in his town's soldiers and so he believed that they were alert and dangerous to any rogue, lunatic Organization members who climbed their barricades and dropped onto their mud puddled streets.

During his strife with Sora an hour ago, something deadly spun his perspective around and showed him the bullet he would have to bite. First he would speak to Kairi and Naminé about preparing something for Sora and then talk to Diz.

With nightfall the double doors of the preschool had been closed, though the lights in the windows shone invitingly enough. There were three or four guards rotating around and near the building and Riku worried he would have to knock one of them unconscious. The only ones who understood Riku's position were Diz, Kairi, Naminé, Olette and Hayner. Though he spoke little with any of them these days.

He was in decent luck when he recognized Olette speaking with one of the guards as she exited the hospital. His blood ran cold as he recognized the guard to by Hayner. The haughty boy had risked cuts and glass splinters from climbing through a broken window just to shake some sense into him. Riku, though still addled by his goodbye with Sora, had enough sense about him to know he shouldn't want to be spotted by Hayner. He couldn't deal with any more emotional upheavals and he was saving the last of his wits for his discussion with Diz.

Olette seemed to just be getting off her shift for she gave Hayner a hug who seemed rather reluctant to hug her and happier to salute her after. She made her way down the street, picking her way carefully over rubble. Riku tailed her, thinking that she would see him safely to Naminé or Kairi.

They weren't far from the hospital when Olette stopped in the middle of the street and slowly turned around. Riku was hidden in the shadows of a desolate building with its roof sinking in on itself. The moon illuminated Olette's face well with the passing of the storm. Her lips formed a severe line and her brows crinkled with unease. He was impressed with how calmly she slipped her hand into to her holster and even more impressed and uneasy when she seemed to guess or know his whereabouts.

"Whoever's there," she said in a commanding voice to the shadows and rubble, "come out slowly or I will open fire."

He knew how eerie he must have appeared, looking like a living shadow that could separate itself from a greater fold. He assumed he looked something like a dark ghost separating itself from mist, yet Olette merely watched. She took out her gun fluidly as Riku stepped into the moonlight. He raised his hands and took off his hood to let the stars and moon glow on the sallow features that he hoped she would remember from better times.

"Riku?" she said as if she was dazzled by spirits. Her guard came back quickly as she asked, "Is it just you?"

"Yes," he answered with his arms still raised. He would be suspicious of himself too, in fact he felt uneasy being himself at the present.

She lowered her gun and the harshness faded from her face.

"Riku, that's the most solemn affirmation I've ever heard," she looked up and down and asked with a frown, "Is something wrong? Has your operation been forsaken?"

"In a way but it's worse than that," he said lowering his arms.

"Are you on the run?"

"Yeah," Riku smirked, ducking his head from the moon's telling light. He chuckled as he said, "But I'm running towards something."

"To Sora?" she asked gently.

"No."

She was silent, and took the time to study his face. Then she asked, "How can I help?"

* * *

><p>Olette was the perfect person to ask for help seeing as she not only was head of the guards that patrolled around the hospital, but also Hayner's superior. Still, Riku was glad that Hayner was guarding the other side of the hospital when Olette snuck him in. With a stiff glare at the guards standing before the doors Olette granted Riku access.<p>

Once inside, Olette's features softened to a frown. As she led him down the narrow halls of his old preschool, she commented, "It must be hard for you to come back and be greeted like an enemy after all you've done. I'm sorry I can't actually make the others accept you."

"It's fine," Riku said, finding the halls that used to be covered in child's artwork bare except for emergency kits to be most unsettling. Somewhere deep in his chest he felt a dull throb for being an outcast among his own people but it was a numbed throb. He was surprised he didn't care more, then again he had other more daunting thoughts weighing down on him.

Olette peered at him from the corner of her eye but said nothing more as she showed Riku to Naminé's office door. He saluted her and she saluted him back but also gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder. Riku smiled and nodded her off.

Riku knocked on the door and Naminé called him in. He entered quietly so as not to wake any patients Naminé may have been watching over. The blonde nurse was sitting at a child's desk with papers spread before her. Naminé didn't look at all oversized for the desk, but she did look strange pouring over clipboards by the dim glow of a candle.

She looked up and her eyes went wide and her lips parted slightly, then she seemed to see beyond his clothes and a welcoming smile came onto her lips.

"I thought you might come, just I never know when," she said getting to her feet and circling around the little desk. "I haven't seen Sora in a couple days but he seemed to be on the mend. I'll give you something simple for his fever, though it should be gone by now."

Naminé chirped happily but quietly so as not to wake the few occupants lying on gurneys in the classroom. She had moved across the room to lead Riku to the supply store in what was once the office of the preschool, but Riku put his hand around her arm. She stopped chatting to look from his hand to his gaunt face.

"Even through my sleeve I can feel how cold your hand is, and your face is pale. Were you out in the rain? You might have a chill and don't think for a second that the capability to climb fences like monkeys means you're to fit to be sick. You've got muscles but no fat. You're so thin now," she idly, but she hardly looked at him. She seemed uneasy with his behaviour and maybe worried that neither her herbs nor medicine could cure Riku's worst ailments.

"How many people are in this hospital?" he asked.

"Patients only or staff included?"

"Just patients."

"About a hundred. Why, Riku?"

"Can you move them?"

"Move them?" Naminé asked, blinking rapidly a couple times. A shadow darkened her gaze as she came to understand Riku's frenzied state. "They're coming here aren't they? Why? Is it because of me?"

Naminé's eyes glimmered with fear and tears in the gentle light of the candle. She looked at the floor with guiltily as her lips pulled down.

"No," Riku said with a sarcastic noise. He let go of her arm and repeated, "No, they're coming for me or for Diz."

"At the hospital? Wouldn't it be easier for them to take you on their own territory? Oh," she cast off her guilt and a fierce light came to her. In a way that sounded very appraising but made Riku frown she asked, "You're done spying for them and now you've come back to help Diz handle the troops, right? I wouldn't know but Olette has told Kairi that ever since Leon went missing the Twilight Town soldiers have been a mess. I can tell just by looking at you that you've changed, and not the fact that you're twenty pounds too light. You've gained something. Could you lead our soldiers?"

His shoulders huddled in on himself with every hopeful word she spoke. He could never fill Leon's shoes, especially now with being so estranged from his own soldiers. He didn't have his big brother's composure or stubborn hope. The only advantage he had was knowing how cruel the enemy was and all the good that would inspire was fear. He wanted to tell her how badly he had messed up, how many deaths she had to call because he remained silent and how even after all that, he just wanted to be with the people he loved and wait for the Organization to kick the doors open.

Riku cleared his throat and said, "No, I'm not here for any of that. That...was Leon's place and will always be his. I do have to talk to Diz but not about any of that. About bargaining and _accepting_ the price."

Now Naminé grabbed Riku's arm with both of hers and shook her head.

"No, Riku. That's the _worst_ that could happen. Do you know how quickly we would lose the war with Leon, Diz and you gone?"

"Diz knows enough to keep Twilight Town limping along. I really haven't done much in the way of saving lives."

"So you'll just give up yours? As a nurse I can't approve your choice and as your friend," Naminé let go of his arm to vine tighter around him. She held on so tight like a little girl to the mast of a sinking ship. She shook her head against his chest, "As your friend I won't let you. And if you're too stupid, like the rest of the soldiers here, to take care of yourself then I'll write you off as mentally incompetent and you'll be pulled from the war."

Riku had to wonder how Naminé had become so dead set in her ways. The little girl trembling in the classroom had been burned away in fire, wizened by death and fortified with practice. He should have guessed that Sora wouldn't be the only one screaming his name or that he himself was the only one torn apart and made rougher by his scars. He had to wonder now, as he stood torn between anger and cold resolution, if something hadn't healed properly in him like it had in Naminé.

Riku tried shimmying her off but she clasped tighter with determination in her eyes and a cunning smile on her lips. Riku was again torn between anger at her holding on and amusement that she thought she could.

A stiff smile twitched on his face as he said tersely, "Naminé, I'm not playing around. You don't understand yet."

"I'm a nurse. Of course I understand life and death," she countered.

"This is different," Riku bite out, his anger really showing through as he tried yanking her arms off. He was beginning to feel cagey and he suspected the worst of him was on the rise. He put his hands on Naminé's shoulders and tried to force her back.

"Because it's your one wretched life or a hundred suffering ones?" she shook her head, "No, we can do better. You're always running away and it's time to stop running away; it was time long ago, Riku. Even now, you think running towards Xemnas isn't running away, but it is. You're running from me, from your town, from _Sora_ of all people, and you're doing it with every step you take towards the Organization."

"Stop it," Riku barked coldly and his self restraint disappeared for a moment. Naminé was wrenched off him and crumpled against the little table, shaking the candle and flapping the papers. If he was being honest with himself he would have realized that there were two wet patches on his shirt that had nothing to do with the weather. But tear stains don't show up on black shirts and so when one of the patients in the room woke up and screamed, Riku let his own soldiers butt him and cuff him. He gurgled a laugh.

* * *

><p>"Fuck you, Riku," Roxas muttered as he crouched at the bottom of the porches steps. He had to kneel in mud that froze his kneecaps into stiff joints in order to reach under the deck, but he swore more for the cold abandonment. He dragged out a box and sat back on his heels as he stared uncertainly at the sagging cardboard.<p>

Maybe the hail and rain had cooled off the warring towns' soldiers since the near dawn air was without the smell of gunpowder and there was actually a couple brave birds singing in the woods. It wasn't fair that the world decided on peace now, not when Sora had worked himself back into a fever. Riku probably hadn't seen Sora roll both himself and Roxas down the stairs and run barefoot into the wet weather. Roxas was grimly thankful that Sora's wound slowed him down.

"So stupid," Roxas said as he pawed the box lazily into his grasp and entered his house.

Roxas went to his brother's door and listened for any noise within. When he heard a croupy cough Roxas removed the kitchen chair he had shoved under the doorknob and entered with a knock and light, "Hey, Sora..."

His brother had actual stayed in bed this time. Roxas supposed blocking the only exit and the fact that Sora's window didn't have a conveniently placed shed underneath, lessened Sora's options for escape. If his brother hadn't been wounded he might have thought about hammering the window shut. Once and only once they had tried to make a blanket rope and escape out of Sora's window. Luckily little boys tend to bounce rather than break. Axel, the goader, and Riku the reasoned had been present. Axel said they were lucky to have thick skulls. Riku actually agreed with Axel on that one.

Through sick, swollen eyes Sora looked up at his brother's tentative smile as he craned over him. Sora snorted and looked down at the floor while he hung on the edge of the bed. If he could use sympathy to heal his wound then he would want it. Currently Sora just wanted – he wasn't sure what he wanted. Riku had left yet again so he shouldn't want him. The cowboys Sora's late father had dealt with when their herds were bigger were known to reject horses after being thrown off once. And supposedly hearts were harder to mend than arms or ankles.

He did want Riku back, but he told himself every time he imagined a passionate reunion that he was holding a grudge this time, and he only wanted Riku back to knock some sense into him.

"I know you like playing the role of mother, but you've gotta listen to me," Roxas said as he knelt and rested his own tired head on the bed. He knocked heads with Sora lightly as he continued, "You're sick again. When the snow falls things are only gonna get worse."

Sora closed his eyes to his brother's tired face. The sun was surely to rise soon but the room would look just as grey as it did now. Roxas looked grey too, especially around the eyes, and for that Sora was sorry.

"Alright," Sora whispered, dragging his hand to cover his face when another thoroughly unexpected bout of sadness swept over him and in its retreating curl dragged his composure away.

Roxas really wanted to hit Riku for this one, brother or not. With too much space between him and Riku, Roxas let his anger go and smoothed his fist in his brother's hair. He looked down at the box in his lap with a half a mind to burn it and its contents. His mind was made for him by Sora.

"It doesn't even matter...he was my best friend too and friendships are built to last. I want him back."

"Sora, here," Roxas said, pulling out Riku's Twilight Town uniform from the box. Sora didn't take his hand away from his face so Roxas quietly slid it under his bandaged arm. Around the cold metal of the three pronged crown Sora's fingers curled and his breathing hitched then became regular.

"Goodnight, dope," Roxas said as he patted him on the hand.

He was at the door, closing it with the tiniest squeak when he realized Sora had spoken.

"What did you say?" Roxas asked through the sliver of the door.

"Roxas..." Sora said as he curled tighter under his covers, "I hope this _never_ happens to you."

* * *

><p>Riku sat slumped against a brick wall in a pattern of shade and light cast from the barred windows above his aching head. He was in pretty sore shape; aside from the bump near the base of skull and that fact that he was detained by his own people, Riku felt failure pinning his ass to the cement floor.<p>

He hadn't gotten around to discussing Sora with Naminé and he didn't think he made it clear enough that the hospital needed to be evacuated, even if it was against Diz's orders as Riku feared it would be. He hadn't been able to talk to the man either and he was sure Diz must have heard by now that Riku had been captured. _And by my own people_, Riku snorted dryly. It did sting a bit.

He felt calm being forced to rest in one place. Prison wasn't glamorous, in fact the toilet was only recognizable as one because of the smell and there was no bed but a blanket. But knowing that he was safe and people were safe from whatever bad luck that crawled in his shadow while confined made him stable. Until he heard footsteps walking towards his cell and he was on his feet, waiting for whoever was coming his way with commands on his tongue and brass in his eye.

Kairi, followed along by Olette and Hayner, paused at his cell and gave him a look of pure sadness.

"Kairi," Riku said, happy to see her. He moved closer to the bars to say in a more subdued tone, "I shouldn't be in here."

She blinked, looked down to nod at her feet and slipped her arms through the bars to hold him much like Naminé had done the night before. Kairi's embrace was different; it was as if she was pulling herself to him whereas Naminé seemed to be keeping Riku grounded. He would have to apologize to Naminé for pushing her. For now, Riku softly put a hand on the back of Kairi's head, much to Hayner's displeasure.

"We're supposed to be moving quickly, aren't we?" Hayner asked, giving Kairi a poignant look.

"I know, we are," Kairi replied and pulled away to unlock Riku's door.

"Hey, hey, hey! Not _that_ fast," Hayner said, putting a hand on the door. His ornery glare warned Riku before his words had a chance. "You're not free yet. Commander Diz just wants a word with you and after your stunt last night I think you knew that was coming."

"Yes," Riku said with a curt nod.

"Is 'yes' all you've got to say after raising the alarm last night? And hello, you raised it in a hospital. Geez, you really have picked up their bad manners."

"Hayner, Riku's not an Organization member," Kairi snapped, "You should know that after all the years we've spent together."

"And you should know that I don't like this situation. When I found out rather rudely that Riku was a spy I was pissed at him _and then_ at Diz for letting the idiot do it," Hayner said, standing rather tall for someone who had girls glaring at him. Riku folded his arms and watched amusedly as Hayner said through clenched teeth, "I hate the Organization so much and anyone involved with them. They have no respect for anything and I hate how I can't keep them out of my home. It pisses me off and it should piss you off too, both of you."

Olette closed her eyes, appearing to hold her tongue back with clenched jaws and Kairi turned to tell him exactly how she felt, but Riku's hand on her shoulder stayed her.

"Can we just get this over with?"

* * *

><p>Riku had never been in Twilight Town Regiment's compound. It must have been founded quickly since most of it was composed of tents, random brick buildings that had once been stores and a completely new large cement building for the prisons. He didn't get a chance to be familiar with it either. He was led by Olette with Kairi at his side and Hayner behind him through the compound and back to the preschool hospital.<p>

He gave Kairi a questioning look to which she just lowered her eyes and slipped her arm through his.

They were met by Naminé on the steps who led them through the preschool to the courtyard at the back. Olette motioned for Hayner to fallback with her and they stood stationed at the back doors while Riku continued on with Kairi and Naminé to the shed where balls, bats and hula hoops used to be stored for the children. The grass where the children had played had grown back and there was only a single trail that led from the back door to the shed that they walked on. The courtyard was eerily serene with ground that wasn't littered by rubble but the wind didn't reach behind the building. The town's critters had been frightened off by guns, bombs and marching feet so all was quiet.

"Diz is waiting inside," Naminé whispered and Riku heard something almost otherworldly in her voice, but it was probably just the setting. Kairi hung her head as she followed Naminé along the path.

The shed was open but it was far darker inside than outside beneath the sun. A lantern glowed from its hanging point on the ceiling and by its light Riku could see Diz's profile leaning heavily on the edge of a table.

When they entered Diz groaned and said tiredly, "We are running out of time just as these men have."

Kairi's shoulders slumped, Naminé just stared sadly. Riku froze when he looked down at the table Diz was leaning over and recognized Leon's face.

"I wasn't sure if you were aware of Leon's death or not, Riku, since the letter I received was rather hurried," Diz said, turning around to stare at him with grave eyes.

"I knew. I saw," Riku said, his eyes were transfixed on Leon's closed ones. Someone had respectfully bandaged his death wound by wrapping a piece of white cloth around his head. Bandages were not to be wasted in these times but, by the tattered hem of Naminé's uniform, Riku guessed fashion meant little these days.

"I must admit that your frenzied letter had me worried. It's not like you to be scatterbrained and then to have this – Leon dumped on our doorstep was...unsettling," Diz said as he stared down at Leon.

Riku was silent and he felt fingers point at him from the living and dead in the room.

Diz again let his gaze burrow into Riku and slowly stepped up to him.

"Riku, are you certain that it is true and they are not just trying to smoke you out of hiding?"

"That is what they have done. I'm pretty sure my absence is noticed. I heard it from Xemnas himself; they will destroy the hospital and the people in it if they do not take one of us prisoner," Riku watched Diz's face grow heavy with lines. Riku continued, "They want the king and we have nothing to offer them unless we want to drag other kingdoms into this."

Diz looked sharply at him then to Kairi and Naminé who were looking to each other for explanations to what Riku had just said.

His gaze flicked heatedly back to Riku as he said in a rather controlled tone, "We can discuss such matters back at my office in private. Now is not the time for carelessness, Riku."

"No but we need to move quickly," Riku countered, moving to block Diz's path. Diz looked taken aback but didn't try to exit or stop Riku from speaking. "You should have evacuated the hospital the moment you got my letter. That part should have been crystal clear or were you going to ignore that piece of information?"

"Riku," Diz said tiredly and he closed his eyes, "things are not that simple."

"Well why don't we ask Leon how complicated death is. He probably knows something on that subject."

The room grew cold with Riku's remark and everyone seemed to draw away from him. Kairi murmured his name while Naminé stared with large, sad eyes. Diz got over his moment of disbelief and chuckled grimly.

"Am I speaking with Riku or someone a bit colder and darker?" he asked.

"I've been wondering the same thing," he replied steadily.

He and Diz surveyed each other, the glow of the lantern adding a red heat to Riku's flushed features. Diz's face was lit by the frail sunlight that leaked through the shed doors and he looked old and very tired.

"Naminé, Kairi, if you would please leave us," Diz commanded gently.

With a worried glance at Riku both girls hesitantly moved to the doorway.

"Wait, Naminé," Riku said, never forgetting to ask her for help with the boy he loved, "Sora's wound was reopened and he might have gotten his fever back. Can you make something for him and maybe Kairi-"

"I'll deliver it," Kairi cut in and Riku grinned. His smile faded as she fixed him with a blazing stare, "But you damn well better be around to see Naminé's magic work."

Riku blinked and he could tell she wasn't satisfied by his stony face. Kairi had little choice but to be led down the same narrow, dirt path between a parting of a sea of grass by Naminé's small hand and hushed words.

"Whatever you have planned," Diz said sternly, "you should discuss with someone else to be assured that you are not making a grave error. Even as a once professor, I realize that some mistakes are impossible to be remedied on the mistake maker's part. Riku, you are an asset and more to this town. You are very much needed and wanted. Don't let the worst of what you have been pretending to be become your scapegoat for punishment on yourself."

"And why the hell not?" Riku asked with hot emotion rising from within him and pushing the unsaid words from his throat finally. He gestured blindly with his hands and found himself pointing to Leon. "The same person has been doing horrible things for the Organization and against them. It's not pretending if I can't ask Leon to get up or if Xion can't cut herself down and walk again. I might not have wanted to but I did it! I watched it."

"And if I may be so shrewd to ask, when your friends left this world how many of them looked down on you? Did any of them blame you?"

Riku's throat went dry as he recalled Xion's face, Leon's and even Sora's after the bullet had been extracted. There was a burning behind his eyes, raggedness to his breathing and his voice rattled with the shaking of his nerves.

Xion was scared, scarred and trembling but she hadn't looked at him with anger. She seemed almost relieved to have a brotherly face watching her while surrounded by wolves. Xaldin had aimed to bring fear to Leon's final moments but as both his brother and the bullet casing fell to the ground, he remembered Leon's eyes to be peaceful. Sora had writhed and recognition had slipped past his pained mind, but when he recognized Riku it was as if he had been given a pain easing pill. Riku had trouble recalling these faces without feeling warmth curl and nestle beneath his ribs. Yet his mind refused, said he was as guilty for the pain as he was the pleasure.

"Good people see good things, especially in others," Riku bit out.

"And you see the good in people," Diz said quietly.

"Yeah," Riku laughed, "and I break it."

Diz sighed and Riku wondered how the man could possibly be standing. He looked as though a chair, something warm and rest would make a fine oasis for Diz's burned out body.

"I have put far too much on far too young of people. Riku, I know what I have asked you to do is more than I should have asked, and I am afraid I may have to ask more of you in these up coming days."

"Whatever you want from me take it. I don't care anymore," Riku said as he fell against the door frame and stared out at the pretty courtyard before him. The winter chill hit Riku hard and snuck into his joints. He could see his breath rise and remembered that Sora and him had spent winter days when they were younger breathing on windows to draw faces. When they were older but young enough to be prone to stupidity, they would reveal skin in the snow and feel each other's warm breath make it glow briefly before becoming cold again. Now Riku didn't notice his breath.

"Then if I asked for Sora's life you would let me have it?"

"Sora's not _me_. I said take me."

"The anger in your voice makes me think you do still care for Sora. Do not forget that I have seen your friendship with that boy and I know your connection is strong and deep rooted. What happens to the earth befalls the tree, likewise if the tree it torn from the ground the earth is ripped apart. As long as you care for others you are not alone in your decisions," Diz looked as worn and grey as the rubble that lay outside the courtyard. As he stood just inside the shed he looked out into the still living courtyard, but his eyes only took in the bracken and dead leaves around the trees. "You are not alone, Riku. And it seems that as I dare take a step into your world I must leave you a little lonelier in your decision making. You are young and lively. If the Organization got their hands on you...you would live a far greater time than I in their prison. The information they could get from you would be vast and damning to what this fool has tried to keep alive. You can do better elsewhere."

Diz reached his hand out from underneath the shed and made a motion that seemed as if he was calling the sun to come closer and stop winter before the snow came.

"Are...are you talking about the hospital's situation?" Riku asked with narrowed eyes.

"I am."

"Then what are we going to do? We should evacuate the hospital, right?"

"That will only look like we are running, but I will order that those that can remove themselves from the medics care may do so."

"And what are we going to do?" Riku asked, his brows frowning slightly.

He felt a hand on either of his shoulders and they were pulling him out of the shed and back along the trail. He shook them off vigorously but they clasped him again.

"Don't be stubborn or I'll deck you again," Hayner said and dug his fingers into Riku's shoulder.

"What are you doing?" Riku asked, looking over his shoulders at Olette and Hayner who were staring at Diz. He turned to look at Diz who just blinked slowly and let a smile tweak one side of his lips.

"Please don't fight us, Riku, or we will use force," Olette said demurely. "We're under orders to take you back to your cell."

"From who? For how long? Diz will need help to organize before the raid tomorrow. I'm not done speaking with him."

"Sorry, but it's the commander's orders," Hayner said and he actually sounded a little sorry.

* * *

><p>Riku slammed the bottom of his boot against the iron bars, shaking them and making dust rain from above. Despite the prison being built in only a couple months the walls and bars were solid, even against Riku's rage. He rammed his toes against the door again. Especially against his rage.<p>

He was frustrated beyond belief. He used to be the one sending informative letters from the dark and now he was just in a blind place. He wanted to know exactly what Diz was planning. Was the hospital evacuated? Was Diz giving himself in? If Diz was taken away, who the hell would be leading the Twilight Town Regiment? He hoped Diz didn't think he would. After months learning from Saix and then instructing even the laziest of pupils Riku knew he could lead but he didn't think he could command an already limping force that had no trust in him. And _if_ Diz really thought Riku could – he slammed his foot against the bars making twice the noise and little difference – then why the fuck was he being detained?

"Knock it off, for fuck's sake!" Hayner whined, appeared before Riku's cell. He ran a hand through his hair and leaned his head against the bars. "You're giving me a headache. And even if you don't care, which I really can't blame you for, then think about your own head. It's ten times louder in that little space for you."

"I don't care about what goes on in this cell. I want _out_," he kicked the bars, jarring Hayner's head and making his guard swear. He might have cracked a grin if he wasn't so frustrated.

"And I want every last Organization member to choke on his own drool, Goddamn dogs, but that hasn't happened yet. And the moment I joined the army I stopped holding my breath for that," Hayner said as he rubbed at his forehead and leaned on the wall across from Riku's cells instead.

"Well, we want the same thing so why am I in here?" Riku snapped but gave up on kicking the bars for now. He began pacing his space, tossing a look up to his window. It had to be noon by now and he was sure that the Organization members would be attacking soon.

"Maybe you're here to cool down," Hayner suggested with a dry snort as he watched Riku pace. "You don't look too sane to me. Though I guess working for the dogs will make you a little antsy. Goddamn it, would you stop pacing? What? Is it the full moon or something? You're freaking me out."

"Right, I forgot how distressing it is to be free," Riku jibed and threw a frustrated glare at Hayner for good measure.

Hayner laughed, "That's more like the jerk I spent my school days with."

Hayner crossed his arms and looked a little sullenly at the floor as he said, "But it ain't always easy being everybody's bitch. _Captain_ Olette wouldn't even let me have a key to your cell, so if you start choking to death you're on your own."

Riku snorted dryly as he sneered unseen at Hayner. Hayner had probably been in the forces as long as Olette and progressed dramatically less, likely due to his short temper and not always thought through planning skills. Even though Riku had only seen a couple minutes of Hayner actually in action he bet Demyx could make a better soldier if only because he knew when to retreat.

"What are you smirking at?" Hayner snarled, pushing off the wall as he caught the leer on Riku's face when he turned to resume pacing.

A single loud _bang_ quaked the prison confines and sent Riku into a squat and threw Hayner against the wall. There was a series of gunfire heard beyond the walls and over Hayner's swearing.

"Hayner!" Riku barked, awakening the boy from his blind fright and anger. "That will be a diversion platoon attacking this compound – _Hayner!_"

As soon as Hayner heard 'attack' he had shot off the wall and run with his gun out for the exit. Even if Riku wasn't particularly fond of his guard he didn't want Hayner to get shot the moment he ran yelling out the door. Plus, Riku would have really liked to at least be able to run around and not wait for Xigbar to order his worst sharpshooters to try their luck with a caged soldier.

"What?" Hayner yelled back, retreating a couple steps to look at Riku with wild eyes.

"For one thing, you never run blindly into open fire and two," Hayner had gotten close enough to the cell that Riku could grab hold of the boy's collar and hold him against the bar. Riku snarled, "_Two_, you will get me out of here so that I have a fighting chance."

Riku pushed Hayner back and felt guilt mingle with his own caginess when he saw the fresh alarm in Hayner's eyes. No, Riku would never make a good commanding officer with Ansem's instructions whipping from his tongue.

Riku threw himself against one of the side walls and almost fell back into the latrine when Hayner shot the door open. He almost slipped in again when the ringing of the gunshot shrieked in his ears and made his hands go to the sides of his head.

"Goddamn it!" Hayner yelled with his own hands pressing the sides of his skull.

Riku stumbled to his feet and slid the door open.

"And it's ten times louder for me!" Riku roared in Hayner's face as he took a knife from the other boy's belt and bolted for the doors.

* * *

><p>Even though Riku's philosophy for getting to the hospital became move as fast as you can, it took him almost an hour to get to the preschool. Several times he had to back track and many times hide. The worst part was the people aiming for him were his own and so his knife was rather useless. He did manage to help Olette out by throwing the knife at a soldier poised to attack her, and in return she didn't shoot him.<p>

As he got farther away from the compound he found it easier to stick to his immediate philosophy and run the streets, though he did have to duck in a decaying building a few times as more Twilight Town soldiers ran to help their comrades.

He lost some of his anxiety and gained speed as he saw the hospital quietly going about its usual business. There were five or six field medics clambering into jeeps with red crosses on their sides, and one of them happened to be Kairi.

Not sure if Twilight Town field medics carried firearms, Riku called Kairi's name to enlist her help. He gained a couple other people's attention and found out that field medics were indeed armed. Kairi booked it to his side while a second person jumped from the passenger side of Kairi's jeep and spread his arms before the other field medics.

"Kairi, where's Diz?" Riku asked, putting his arms out to get her to listen to him and stop her from burying her face in his shoulder.

"Diz?" she said, blinking her eyes as if that could somehow clarify the words. "Riku, you should know he's not a medical officer. He's the commander, he's got nothing to do with the medics."

"I know but there's something going on at the hospital today so I thought-"

"He's on his way, Riku," the medic who had stood his grounds against the others said over his shoulder. Riku was truly surprised to see it was Pence. He, and Kairi at his side, trotted over to the boy.

"Pence, how do you know? Did he send word?" Riku asked.

"No, I'm just something like an understudy to him," Pence laughed, pulling at the collar of his medic's uniform. "This isn't mine, it's just Diz thought the medics corps might need more people today."

Riku blinked and nodded while Pence seemed to blush.

"Well, when I say 'understudy' I just mean someone who keeps files in order or runs messages or hand out people's schedules for the day. I'm not like, you know, anyone like you, Riku, sir," Pence rambled.

"Right...It's fine," Riku said with a wave of his hand while the jeeps came growling to life and fled the hospital. When the dust had settled he asked Pence, "Do you know what he's going to do here?"

"Not really, just that I heard him say he would 'end this war with his pupil' and that he would be here around noon but he's late."

"That's fine," Riku said with a curt, dismissive nod to which Pence actually saluted him, then he was off to see how the conditions of the hospital were.

"Riku, what are you doing?" Kairi asked as Riku peeked in every classroom, office and closet on his way down the hall.

"Kairi, go back to your jeep and do your job," Riku ordered, opening the door on a couple nurses dressing a man's wound that likely causing them all a couple extra beats of their hearts. Every room had people in it and none of them appeared to be leaving anytime soon.

"No. Whatever you're doing is likely just as important and dressed as you are you won't find much help. _No_," she said, pushing him forward when he rounded on her, "You _will_ need someone's help. I'm not letting you do this on your own. Not this time."

Riku snorted and continued on down the hall, opening and closing doors. He felt his spirits drop with every set of eyes he met beyond the doors. There were too many injured to get them all out. His mind said it was time to prioritize and his heart called him a monster for it.

"Kairi, we need to get people out of here. It's too late now to save everyone so start with the people who are in the best condition and if there are any-"

Riku's commands died in his throat as he opened the door at the end of the hall and came upon a peaceful scene. Aerith was cradling Simba in her arms while his other brothers and sisters huddled around her feet or drew at tables that were just their size.

At first everyone in the room froze and stared with wide eyes at Riku. He felt sadness pierce him as quickly and as sharply as a bullet when no one seemed to recognize him. Then from the corner of the room where she stood, looking her sweet complexion over in a mirror, his little sister Bell ran over and swatted him on the legs. She gave him a moody look and he understood she was upset that he had been away for so long.

"Riku?" Aerith asked as she got to her feet, "What is this? What is going on?"

"Aerith, you have to-"

He was cut off by many little voices as the children surrounded him.

"He looks like a bad guy," they whispered. Riku flushed, but fixed a smile on his face before winking at them. The children giggled and curiously picked at his uniform.

"Aerith," he said in a calmer tone, "you have got to get everyone out of here. The hospital is no longer safe. You need to go somewhere else."

Aerith stared confusedly and drew her shawl tighter around herself and the baby. Kairi brushed past Riku, cleared her throat before saying politely to Aerith, "I have a jeep that could fit all the kids. Pence can drive you over to the high school. He'll take the safest route possible."

"Okay," Aerith said with a bob of her head. She hoisted Simba higher in her arms and gathered the kids around her. She did a quick head count but she seemed to be missing someone. There was alarm in her eyes before she seemed to remember something. "Genie and Peter are with Naminé."

"I'll get them. You take the others out to the jeep," Kairi said before ducking out of the room.

Riku made to follow her but Aerith's stare stopped him. She looked at him with worry and her eyes held such sadness. She gestured to his uniform and he just rolled his shoulders.

Riku turned away and said over his shoulder as he left, "Go now. I'm fine."

* * *

><p>Riku found Naminé hurriedly finishing stitches and dealing out pills in the next room over.<p>

"Kairi's keeping watch at the doors while I finish up," Naminé said while she worked quickly, "Some people were evacuated last night but more people came in today and not everyone can fit at the school. Plus most of our staff is-"

"They're here. Riku, the jeep just left," Kairi said breathlessly as she sped into Naminé's office and closed the door.

"Why did the jeep leave?" Riku asked, his heart pounding just under his Adam's apple, but he dared not let it show with two pairs of child's eyes locked on him.

"Pence seemed to recognize one of them and left with as many people as possible," Kairi pushed her cap up as she ran a hand through her hair. With a warning murmur from Naminé, Kairi took a deep breath and let her hand fall. She said in a far calmer though still addled voice, "We need a plan."

"You and Naminé will hide in the closet with Peter and Genie. When they're gone then you can meet up with Aerith."

The kids didn't seem to understand what was happening but their eyes grew tearful all the same as they stared at him. Riku and Naminé held each other's gaze with level emotions.

"You will be gone too," Naminé stated.

"If I run..." Riku said turning his eyes to the children and to Kairi and Naminé in turn. Naminé continued to stare expectantly at him and he had nothing to supply but his truth. Riku pulled her closer and murmured in her ear, "They want someone's blood and if they can't have the one they want then they'll take what they can get. They will burn this place down. You know that."

Kairi ushered the children off the desk and to the closet while Naminé put her hands to Riku's face and whispered with urgency, "Riku, please...try."

The door flew off its hinges and the room erupted with screams and panicked movement. Naminé pulled Riku's hood over his head and he saw her lips form words of hope, but he pushed her towards Kairi and the children then raised his hands.

* * *

><p>"I suppose murder goes hand in hand with lies," Diz seethed.<p>

"I believe you've done studies in those fields, professor," Saix replied coolly.

The two men stood in the shadows cast by the hospital as the sun set. Diz glared a hot fury at Saix while his cool, yellow eyes held an ice storm. While the present unfolded pain inside the hospital, Saix's mind and heart beat with memories of the past. He didn't think about the lives being ruined within the old preschool but rather the pain he was finally bringing to Diz. The old fool had never had anything closer to him than his students, even when he had lived and taught in Hallow Bastion. He didn't know this first hand, but Saix's mentor did. Xemnas had studied with Diz, grown strong and wise under his professor's tending shade. Saix didn't want a mentor, in Diz or in Xemnas, nor did he want pupils or a family that was forced to love him because of a blood connection. The only time Saix believed blood was thicker than water was when he held his dreams already dead in his hands and felt the blood melt the snow around him.

As far as Saix was concerned the war was won now that he had Diz's favourite pupil. Every other blow the man received was wonderful excess.

Diz sagged before him and put a hand to his forehead. In a mournful groan, he said, "It's been ten years and you still hold onto your hate so adamantly. I thought those embers would have been ashes long ago."

"Vengeance is best served cold," Saix said with all the chill of his heart. "Any warmth I had was snuffed that day and will be so forever. There is no one to take his place no matter what ghosts haunt me and remind me of him. There was only one of him."

"Your master Xemnas never taught you a lesson in forgiveness, did he?" Diz asked. Diz chuckled wearily as he said, "That was never Xemnas' favourite lesson and I dare say the only one he failed."

"I would be pleased to offer you forgiveness if you could right this wrong," Saix sneered. He put a hand to his heart and in a tone fit for the wind of a wintery moor he said, "Return him to me. Return my heart to me and I will forgive you."

"That..." Diz lowered his eyes so dulled by memories being played over and over again, "is impossible."

* * *

><p>Kairi was deafened by the beating of her heart in her ears or maybe things were just happening at all once and all that noise became void of meaning, just not important to survival. Both she and Naminé had wrapped themselves protectively around the children who now nuzzled against them with their little mouths open in screams unheard.<p>

The sound came back when Kairi set her startled sights on a tall, skinny man with wild red hair barely tamed by his black cap and a snarl on his face. Axel, Roxas' Axel ,was barking orders at them and pointing his gun in her direction.

"Everyone stay put. Girl's you hold onto those kids," he ordered, shooting a furtive look at her.

"Don't shoot! I'm here. Just let them go and I'll come peacefully," Riku said from behind the desk, his hands in the air already.

When Riku spoke the ground Kairi knelt on seemed to tremble and become a widening fissure. The wounded she heard moaning in the back of her jeep or the heavy silence in a room with a dying soldier were the parts Kairi felt and saw in the war. Those parts made her sick and left her sleepless under the moon's fragile light, but watching Riku give himself up broke her heart. She knew his past, his love for Sora and his friendship with her. She could make a collage of smiles and blue skied days that had been shared with that boy, and know the last she would see of him was another body dumped on the hospital's doorstep.

She felt incredibly helpless, like she was a little girl lost at sea and she was kidding herself if she thought she was a mermaid. She had been kidding herself that she was even a woman. The tears pooled and poured from her eyes, making the bright things in the room shine brighter and obscuring all the rest. She shook them from her eyes and tremblingly looked about the room for something she could do.

Her tears made the light that shined off of a tray with surgical knives glimmer like diamonds. The girl from the Organization wasn't looking at her, so she stretched away from Naminé and the children to reach out her hand. As she stretched she felt eyes on her and turned to see Axel staring with a keen, wild light in his eyes and yet he said nothing, just stared at her as if watching a fumbling actress improvise her lines with the slightest bit of amusement.

"Don't you fucking dare, bitch!" the female Organization member shrieked, turning her gun on Kairi as the children sent up a cry at her movement. Kairi's hand shot back while the other girl continued to rage. "I swear it'll be over for you in a second if you do."

"Axel, the target's been spotted. 3 o'clock, the man standing behind the desk," another soldier said excitedly from the doorway. Kairi put a hand over her mouth and turned her face to the wall as she sobbed so hard it lurched her shoulders.

She stole a glance in Riku's direction and saw one of her best friends shoved to his knees, bagged and dragged out the door. When they were gone Kairi fell away from the wall and away from the children to collapse her face to her knees and curl. Was there nothing she could have done? _Was there?_

* * *

><p><em>Impossible<em> rang a gong inside the hollows of Saix's heart and reverberated that empty sound out of his eyes. He knew that was the only answer Diz could give him; logic dictated that what was dead remained dead until it wasn't dead anymore and was just gone.

"Then it is as impossible to forgive you," Saix said.

Diz sighed and his eyes closed with sadness. Surprise turned Diz's head as he heard fumbling steps coming from inside the hospital's entrance. Four Organization members exited through the double doors and one of them had a black bag over his face and was being pushed onward.

Diz took a hurried step towards the soldiers, causing the Organization members to stare and Saix to leer.

"Riku, what are you thinking?" Diz hissed sorrowfully at the boy.

As Riku turned his covered head towards his master's voice, Larxene raised her gun to Diz's face and snarled at him to back off.

"Do as she says, gramps," Axel said, shrugging Diz off as he pushed past, nudging Riku to move. "We're all a little pissy today."

Saix gave Axel a cold, triumphant smile as he passed. The wild, red headed soldier just rolled his eyes and treated his superior as ignorantly as he had Diz.

"Well done soldiers," Saix said with a respectful nod.

Saix watched his soldiers retreat with Diz's apprentice, and knowing that the boy beneath the bag had served him as well made the accomplishment all the more satisfying; two problems, one end. He expected Diz to be wrought with grief and as he turned he did find that the man had tears in his sad, wrinkled eyes. Yet his gaze lingered on Axel as much as it did Riku.

"That soldier...the one with the red hair. He looks rather familiar," Diz said gruffly.

Diz didn't have time to react with Saix's anger being so quick and clean. He butted the old man on the back of the head and took little pleasure in having the man's bearded chin land on his boot. Disdainfully Saix shoved his face off and Diz groaned in pain.

"Looks can be deceiving," Saix said coolly. "However, trust that the information and pictures I send to you of Riku will all be genuine."


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary:** Riku's been found out by the Organization. Worse yet, he's been taken prisoner by none other than Roxas' sweetheart. Riku says it's not friendly fire, but he doubts Roxas and Sora would feel the same way if they knew...

**Themes:** Angst on Riku's part (as per usual). Sassy-ness on Axel's part (as per usual). Awkward hilarity on Demyx's part (as per usual). And a cracked mind talking to the parts of itself (not quite the usual). Oh, and Zexion being a bit of a twerp (I think that's pretty usual).

**Author's Note:** No more exams, so hopefully I get my shit together and update quickly. Happy holidays and reading to ya!

* * *

><p><strong>Dandelion<strong>

Riku hadn't been surprised to see Axel; they worked under the same people, so they were bound to meet at some point. What did surprise Riku was how unsurprised Axel was when he pulled back Riku's hood and looked him in the eyes. In the tenseness of the moment Riku found irony that they were destined to meet with him on his knees and Axel just as much forced to capture him.

Riku wasn't exactly sure how Axel felt about his capture seeing as the soldier did his job perfectly. Yet as Axel pushed Riku into his new cell and stared through the bars as he slid the door closed, he felt that Axel was just as uncertain of what to make of his prisoner.

For the moment he was left alone to sit in the shadows of the cell and watch the moonlight travel up the wall as it set. His breath came out in cold puffs and his thoughts moved sluggishly. Now that he was where he felt he should be he wasn't sure what to do. Riku raised his head and stared straight ahead. How did he feel? Cold, for sure, and scared to the point of numbness. Xemnas could unleash his wolves on him and Riku's spirit would leave without a jump or a noise.

The walls of the cell were thick and the space narrow. There was no comfort in the cement and nothing cozy about the place. Riku was very much on his own and in the dark.

* * *

><p>Riku had slept two or three hours but restlessly. He awoke to the sound of someone's voice outside his cell. His eyes snapped open and any peace that had graced his features while he slept was now stone-cold indifferent. He caught his guard peering at him strangely through the bars of his cell and almost cracked a grin when he recognized Demyx.<p>

"I probably shouldn't talk to you, hunh?" Demyx said nervously and turned his back on Riku to continue his watch, only to turn around a second later and say, "So you were a spy this whole time? Man, I did _not_ see that one coming."

Riku just blinked his eyes slowly and let them stay closed.

"I hope Xemnas doesn't blame me for not knowing," Demyx said with a fretful twitter to his voice.

He heard a _clang_ on the bars and opened his eyes to slits to see Demyx turned all the way around and a hand clutching the door as he looked down at Riku for reassurance.

"Do you think he would blame me, sir?"

Riku blinked again and refused to speak. He doubted Demyx would actually be part of his questioning, but blind on all sides except for the bars, Riku had no idea if anyone was waiting around the corners. Besides, he wasn't really in the mood for conversation. He did snort dryly at Demyx calling him 'sir'.

"Oh, oh yeah. You're probably not my superior anymore. Well," Demyx looked down at his shoes as if asking his untied laces for a new topic of conversation. "Well, I guess that's the best for the Organization, though I didn't mind having you as my superior. You don't yell too often, but you are really energetic and, man, it is tiring having to run all day. Still, thanks, sir – or Ansem – or I guess that's not your name...Man, this is so _weird_."

"You are relieved," Lexaeus' deep voice said from somewhere to the left of Riku's vision.

Demyx hopped three feet away from the cell door and tried to look attentive, but his rumpled shirt and waggling shoelaces took away from his well formed salute.

"Y-yes, sir," Demyx stuttered and he scooted around Lexaeus as the burly soldier came into view.

He looked down quietly at Riku who returned a similar, silent stare. Lexaeus huffed and opened the door.

He walked before his guard with his hands still bound and his head held high. Riku thought the bones of his ribs were curling in like clenching fingers his breathing hurt him so much. It had slipped his mind until now but he had eaten almost nothing in the past couple days, except for what he managed to put down while in Twilight Town's custody. He didn't feel his hunger, but his stomach clenched with every step he took towards his questioner. He wondered if it would be Marluxia who would torture him. He had never seen the man in action, but it was known that the head of the information sector had been the one to pry information from Leon. The little blood left in Riku's face fled.

Lexaeus put a giant hand on his shoulder and steered him into a room Riku had never visited. The room was immaculately clean, had a couple tables that were built into the ground with sinks attached to them and glass cupboards filled with flasks, beakers, test tubes and a rainbow of colourful chemicals. The colours were nothing to be happy about; in this room they looked as twisted as a sinister clown's face paint.

There were two people in the lab before Riku and Lexaeus entered. The one boy he recognized as Zexion and he was sitting at one of the desks close to the centre of the room with his notebook open, already scrawling something down. The other man he knew to be Vexen only because of his reputation. He was said to be gangly, weary looking about the eyes and yet have very animated features. He was also known to be finicky and to have a very scientific way of dealing with people. Based on personal interpretations, Riku added creepy and the possibility of insane to the list of things this man may be. Currently Vexen was filling syringes and laying them out on a silver platter.

Riku was guided to the centre of the room to a chair that, like the tables, was made of clean, silver metal, stuck to the floor and had straps dangling from the arms and legs.

Riku was pushed down into the chair and a few seconds later his restraints were being tightened by Lexaeus.

"Your guard is here, Vexen," Lexaeus said and left Riku and the room with a salute. As the great man moved out of Riku's line of vision, he revealed Axel leaning against the wall with a gun in his hand.

Riku found he had no love in his heart for the boy. Axel was just another Organization member and if he felt he owed Riku anything because of the farm boys, he was not only wrong but also an idiot. If either Sora or Roxas didn't exist then it would be likely that they never would have known each other, and as it was Riku wished he knew nothing about the guy. Even if the both of them knew that whatever happened between them was their business as soldiers, Sora and Roxas would not see it as such. What their boys didn't understand was their relationship as soldiers was as intimate as the immaculate, scientific room they were in now. And their relationship outside of borders, rules and regiments was maybe a nod when crossing paths.

Riku kept his face straight and didn't flinch as Vexen tightened his restraints with a grumble.

"If Lexaeus is such a great soldier then I would like to know why he so kindly has to make the restraints so loose. He probably doesn't understand the ramifications of a free and drugged prisoner running about the facility. Zexion," Vexen said straightening up, "You won't make any good observations from over there. You have nothing to fear with sitting next to the subject or that will be so once I clean up yet another soldier's mistake. There, tight and secure."

Zexion did as he was told and took a seat on Riku's left while Vexen seated himself on his right. Riku was conscious of Axel moving forward to sit on one of the tables and it irked him. To Riku it felt like any error he would make or any sign of weakness would not only be magnified by the sarcastic soldier but also be made aware to Sora. If there was one request he could make it would be that Sora never found out about what would come to be Riku's painful life and then death in the Organization. There would just be too many prickly emotions and Sora would be confused enough by now, but he didn't know that there was only a splinter from the trunk of who Riku had been. Any good not already burned inside of Riku would be stripped of him now. His bruises would be badges of humiliation.

As Vexen tapped and primed his syringes, Riku shot Axel a glare. The guy wasn't even bothering to take his job seriously; he was sitting on the table with his head propped in his hands and gun resting against his thigh.

Riku felt a pinch in his upper arm but made no noise as Vexen pushed the plunger of the syringe down. He rubbed Riku's arm to help spread whatever he had pumped into Riku. And then everyone in the room waited with eyes curiously on Riku.

The first few seconds inspired hope in Riku since he felt no change in himself. After about a minute his fear began to rise. He wasn't sure if he felt different or not. He thought maybe his head felt heavier and foggy, and maybe the people before him looked blurred around the edges. It was like checking himself for a fever; he just wasn't sure whether he was feeling anything or if it was a hyperactive imagination. Either way, he was rattled.

His anxiety rose as he tried to swat the cotton from his head, tried to grind thoughts, but cotton doesn't grind. Had he been in this chair for hours or seconds? It felt like he'd swallowed a shaker of salt his mouth was so dry it stung. Seconds or hours? He didn't know and his eyes weren't able to focus. Every time he blinked he was looking at something different and in a new way.

Blink and there was a needle on a surgical tray. They kept their instruments very clean, how kind of them.

Blink and here sat Riku and look there are his knees. His feet are trying to nuzzle into the ground. How nice for Riku's feet.

Blink. There were Riku's fingers, little rats nibbling at the arms. Oh my they must be hungry, look how they bite at the chair. That's a little upsetting for the chair.

Blink and there's the ceiling. It's so clean up there. Wouldn't it be nice to fall upward and sleep in that white nothingness? I bet it would.

At the same time that Riku had those thoughts he also had thoughts in between that confused and terrified him. Thoughts about what was happening and how whatever was going on was out of his control. He was bound at the wrists and infected in the mind. It would have been nice to give over to the candy coated dialogue of his situation but he felt his fearful thoughts were the more real of the two.

Blink and there are Riku's fingers again. Oh I wish they wouldn't bite. Look, they are looking rather flushed.

_I can't let go. There's something wrong with me. Just keep breathing as much as I can and maybe the air will clear me out._

Blink. The ceiling again! Maybe he will just stare at it and drift off. I think Riku is tired.

_The ceiling looks blurry but I'm not sure. Is it or am I just tired. No, I don't think I'm this tired, but maybe I am. I can't sleep now. Don't sleep._

Blink oh he's not going to sleep. That makes everyone sad.

Through the din of thoughts and sights swirling in his mind, Riku heard a voice that somehow sounded more substantial and poked through all that cotton like a knife.

"Your name is Riku, correct?"

He knew the voice was bad news but it was a lifeline. He grabbed a hold.

Riku grunted affirmatively.

"Your name is Riku, not Ansem as you claimed to be when you joined the Organization?"

He saw himself standing in line in the pouring rain. What a clear memory. The rain would feel nice now. It could wash all this away. All the questions.

_What is that? I feel something in my back. I think it hurts._

"Not...Ansem," Riku croaked out but he found once the words slipped out the guilt slipped in. He needed to think but there was pain spreading in a web through his body. He felt hot and his fingers hurt from scrabbling and holding on. He felt a sweat drop travel down his forehead and into his eye giving the world a watery look. He blinked it out, but the watery affect took its time in clearing out.

"Is it true that you were part of Twilight Town's regiment when you registered with the Organization?"

There was some danger in the questions now. The lifeline had pulled him to a ship with black sails.

"Y-yes," Riku ground out. He thought about biting his tongue out but another pain called in his mind.

Oh, his fingers really are gnawing. He shouldn't let them bite so, they're squeaking. They may cry and think of how upsetting that would be.

Riku could hear the scrabbling his fingers were making on the chair's arm. He pushed back the cotton extraneously and found the right button to press to make his nails bite down. It hurt more than it should have, but even sitting stung and made him curve out his spine. He dug his nails down again to remind himself not to speak.

"And have you always considered yourself a member of the Twilight Town Regiment even when acting on the Organization's orders?"

These questions are so simple and it doesn't hurt him to talk.

_Fuck it_, Riku thought and pushed down hard on his fingers. His head tilted back with a groan and he was aware for a second of how much he was sweating and that he was restrained and that there were other people breathing in this room.

He caught Vexen in the corner of his eye and put a face to the voice. It wasn't some great master cutting through his mess of a mind. Vexen was just a man. And yes, he was creepy.

Riku gritted out a cocky smile. He didn't really like that question.

"And on whose orders were you acting as a spy?"

Riku's clever, he would never do something stupid. He will answer and save himself the pain.

Riku curled his fingers around the edge of the arms. His bones felt like green twigs the way he bent them with strain but they would only threaten to break.

No, he wasn't going to answer that question. He tried to say so but he ended up laughing.

"On whose orders, Riku?" and now he could hear the rising anger in Vexen's voice. "Was it your king's order?"

He was tired of this. He was done and let them know by closing his eyes. They wouldn't get anything out of him just like he wouldn't get anything out of looking at their faces. They continued to try though, and pried his eyes open. He saw Vexen's face, blurry and snarling with teeth made from needles and they dripped like snake's fangs. His face was barely a nose length away from his and he tried not to flinch.

He watched Vexen's thin lips say, "Where is your leader, Riku?"

Now _that_ was funny. Xemnas had his sights out for a ghost of a king. Did the Organization think that if their leader died then they would all just fall to shit? They had killed Leon who was as good as any leader and Twilight Town continued to fight. They could kill Diz too but Riku was sure someone or a group of someones would pick up the reins. Twilight Town's army was composed of citizens that fought for the town they loved. Everyone in the Organization seemed to have a hidden agenda. Even Zexion, the little scribbling maniac, was probably writing for something more than a pat on the back from Xemnas. Though Zexion was little; he would make a good lapdog for the Superior.

Riku dug his nails into the arm of the chair while his eyes were being forced to stay open. Things only got worse from there. When none of Vexen's questions sparked more than laughter from Riku, the scientist grew furious. Vexen shot him up again, Riku swore he used his teeth to do so, and the pain got worse and his vision blurrier. He was so intent on fighting that he wasn't aware of anything or anyone other than the pain he continued to press into his fingers. He didn't particularly like it, but it reminded him he had something to hang on to.

Relaxing his muscles would feel nice. Riku's so afraid of letting go but the ceiling is nice. It never touches the ground. It's clean and safe and far from this chair.

"I know your mind is feeling a little fuzzy so you may nod instead of speaking if it's easier for you."

Don't think about your fingers. You'll only hurt yourself Riku.

_I don't..._

"Is your King still in Twilight Town?"

_I might laugh. I don't think I'm safe._

The chair's not so bad. You can rest in it but you should speak. Speaking can stop the room from spinning, and then you can look up again.

"Was that a nod, Riku?"

You hands really hurt the way they hold on. It would be nice to let go. Riku is strong when he doesn't need to be. He should just let go. It's cosier.

_I don't think I know these people. I think I'm sick. I'm not answering to anyone I don't know._

He heard an angry sigh and thought he saw someone pull away. Maybe they were done now. Or maybe he had given them something, if he was still in the room. The clear voice was gone while his mind continued going on its steady path to oblivion. Then the clear voice came back but it wasn't the same, wasn't Vexen. It was still someone he didn't know but not Vexen. This voice wasn't cold, it slithered in like velvet and purred out its poison. What kind of person was this?

"May I try?"

"Marluxia may have allowed you in my laboratory but don't forget your rank, cadet. What makes you think you know any better?" Vexen said bitterly.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I don't believe I'd be too bold in saying that I know more about this man than his closest friends."

_My friends?_ Riku thought, his brows beginning to furrow. _Which ones? Where?_

"I've been tracking his movements for the past couple months and upon learning that the prisoner frequents the farmhouse in no-man's-land, I was stationed on night guard there approximately two weeks ago."

Sora's house joined the swirling images in his head, got stuck in the cotton. He tried to raise his eyes to see who was speaking. It wasn't a voice he knew well, but he wanted to know more. These people were not friends of his and if they knew about him and they knew about the farmhouse then they knew about Sora. They couldn't touch Sora, they weren't allowed to. He was innocent and Riku hated being strapped to this chair with nothing to do but grind his fingers. And he would never see Sora again.

_Stop and clear my head_, Riku thought forcefully. He had enough control to look up and see..._Zexion_, his mind supplied slowly. It didn't make much sense now but maybe it would later. Zexion was speaking and it didn't make much sense now, but maybe later...

Never mind, Zexion wasn't a lapdog. Lapdogs don't have wolves teeth and those eyes were too keen for dopey animals that sit all day.

"I have a couple questions that I would like to ask you but before I do, let us drop our false pretences."

_What..._

You really should just float up to the ceiling. Riku will feel –

_What...pretences?_ Riku thought through the fog. He was aware of how hot his skin. He imagined his blood was boiling and the bubbles must be bouncing the skin.

"I'm intrigued by how well you maintained your presence in the Organization, especially knowing now what you think of the Organization's methods. You think they're cruel and very dark. We just might be, however..." Riku felt the tug of Zexion's voice stronger but far more subtle, like a tide that pulls you out to sea as you lie on your back with your eyes closed. Riku's eyes fluttered at the thought. There would be an undertow and he was sure Zexion would bring him to it.

"You fit in so well among us, Riku."

There was the undertow and it pulled at his heart. Zexion spoke to the worst of him and Ansem listened and Riku watched.

"I know you hate the things you have done while under the Organization's cloak and I know how you feel," Zexion said with cold feeling. The icy tendrils broke past the cotton and Riku's grip on the chair loosened. Zexion couldn't really know that much. He had been listening at the windows and doors, not inside Riku's mind, and yet he did seem to know something.

"You feel fear. You are afraid that we are the worst side of humanity, and you fear that the Organization has brought out the worst in you."

They had and he had been struggling with that knowledge for a while. The Organization hadn't implanted the worst part of him, it had been there all along and was cultivated under the cloak of the Organization.

Riku raised his heavy head with a great deal of struggling and bobbing. He now understood how dandelions felt when bobbing in the breeze. With a great deal of gravity defying he looked Zexion in the eye. He wanted to tell Zexion that he didn't care anymore, but it was just easier not to talk. Besides, he didn't trust what his tongue would spoon out. He wasn't about to serve his enemies when his friends were starving. Zexion could have his look of loathing and stay hungry for the rest.

Riku blinked and he thought he saw a shadow cross Zexion's keen eyes. Zexion was so close he could only take in one feature at a time and they were hazy. Zexion's eyes might have glowed, maybe his lips quirked and he opened his mouth slowly to let the delicate words slip past those wolf's teeth.

"I know the regret and heavy responsibility you carry in your heart because of the wound Sora received," he whispered close to Riku's ear and knocked on Riku's heart. Sora's blood had been on his hands and his tears on Riku's chest that day, leaving marks of guilt in him. Zexion forced the present in his face as he continued. "It still hasn't healed, you know, and it's infected again. He tore the stitches trying to follow you. He's in so much pain, more than you are now."

"N-no. You...you don't...know," Riku gurgled. They had him now so they should leave Sora alone. They had him and that's what they wanted. Sora was in enough pain, he probably spent his nights coughing and shivering. Why did the Organization have to go this far?

"I do know, Riku. I was outside the farmhouse last night. I saw Sora lying in bed, his light was still on as his brother pressed a rag to his wound. His bedroom's the one on the left if your back's facing to the East. He was asking where you were, when you would be back from Naminé with the medicine."

Riku drew a shaky breath in and tried not to let his imagination run wild like it had been so far. Sora was alive. He was at home in his bed, feverish but breathing. Maybe he had tossed and turned last night not because of the bullet wound but because Zexion had been watching him. Riku was writhing now with these keen eyes on him. Riku remembered to hold on but his fingers were slipping.

"I have not done any harm in watching Sora; I have no intention to do so. There are others though..."

"No – leave him-!" Riku begged. His hands scrabbled on the chair and he tried to lean forward but only ended up falling to stare dismally at his lap, bendy dandelion. What he would give to whisk Sora to another planet, even a lonely, dark one so that no one could find him.

"He wants you now, even though you've been under the Organization's cloak, but will he want you back if his infection grows?"

Riku wondered about that. What if a sad scar of reminder wasn't the worst fate for him? What if the infection spread further? What if he lost the arm or an eye? He would never look at Riku the same. There was only so much forgiveness in a person.

Riku twitched in his chair, losing sight of himself in his grief over Sora. If there was one thing to learn from the Organization it was what Saix had lectured him about; he should have left his love in a safer vault than his chest. Zexion had the key and Riku wasn't fit to be a guard.

"Or what if the Organization's dogs scavenge his home?" Zexion's voice asked. A blink of light in his mind told him to not listen to Zexion, that the Organization didn't have Sora and would do nothing to him, but he wasn't holding on so tight at the moment. Zexion's words slipped in like a lullaby. The words were dark but some of the most soothing lullabies were..._when the wind blows-_

"Zexion, shut the fuck up!" someone snarled.

Riku flinched due to the outburst and slowly the pain crept back in along with the jumble of voices. His eyes weren't working very well and he didn't understand much. Axel was standing with his gun aloft but pointing it at Zexion. He thought maybe Axel was upset over something Zexion had said about Roxas. The cotton was really thick and easy to sink into, but hard to push out of.

Zexion turned back to Riku, but Riku wouldn't let the lapdog – no, he was more like a snake. Zexion couldn't make a nest in the cotton. Riku stared hard at Axel who regarded him as something annoying, maybe a dandelion in his perfect lawn. But his misgivings about Axel shook and he wondered if maybe Axel's reason for joining the Organization had little to do with the power he could hold. He seemed awfully fixed on Roxas. He had interrupted Zexion's lullaby and he really should be looking at Riku with contempt not limp annoyance. Maybe Axel wasn't a wild fire and maybe he wanted something similar to what Riku wanted.

As they stared at each other, Axel's eyebrows bent into a 'v' and his lips became taut. Riku lowered his head and gritted his teeth due to the pain webbing his limbs. No, Axel wasn't an ally but on some level they understood each other. That knowledge did absolutely nothing for Riku.

Zexion continued speaking as if no interruption had been made, but Riku wasn't listening to anything outside of his skull. The voice that made suggestions to him he listened to and internally laughed at.

"I think you understand the meaning in my warning," Zexion said calmly, trying to draw Riku's attention back in and pull his heart out. Riku's head began to lower again and he merely blinked at the sound of Zexion's voice.

Riku must understand. He is so clever.

_Oh, yeah. He's clever. After all he dug this hole for himself. What a smartass._

"At the present, Sora is safe and will remain so for quite a while considering how lucky he has been so far. Two inches to the right and another two down and the bullet would have pierced his heart."

It would be nice just to let go and just to fall asleep on the ceiling.

_Ha, ha...Am I seriously thinking this?_

"And that bullet was shot without purpose. Imagine what could have happened if Sora were a marked man."

Oh, his fingers must be devastated! That is a very sad thing.

_Thanks for reminding me. That's the only pain that reminds me that this situation is real._

"I think it's obvious enough that those who hold hands must stand close together and you are a marked man, Riku. We can erase that mark in exchange for your king's whereabouts. The Organization would gladly offer you protection, as well as Sora. We have amazing healers on our side too. Sora would forgive any of the damage done to his arm. Imagine, Riku, you would be the man who brought relief to him. Is that not worth sharing a few words? Actions speak louder than words after all."

Riku should speak. It's the kind thing to do and Riku is very kind.

_Right. I'll do that._

Zexion seemed to have sung his last verse and was now waiting for Riku's answer.

"Fuck you," Riku groaned but his tongue was treacherously limp and his vocal cords were unyielding. The words didn't come out like he meant them to and Zexion leaned closer and asked him to repeat.

Through the cotton he saw his middle finger raise, saw Zexion's keen eyes nearly explode. His hand flopped down painfully and the world grew dimmer.

* * *

><p>It seemed like hours later that his wrists were being unbound and his body was slipping forward. Riku wasn't sure where he was right away and didn't even know how high up he was. His fingers scrabbled on the arms of the chair and his stomach drew up high in his chest. His knees found the ground but the rest of him collapsed against another person's lean torso.<p>

"Zexion, what the hell did you give him?" Riku heard the head of the torso ask. If he wasn't so out of it he would have kicked away from him. He knew now it was Axel who was pressing his shoulder under Riku's limp arm.

"...This is not natural..." Axel huffed close to his ear. Riku's legs were tested as Axel lifted both of them to their feet and began moving. He tried opening his eyes, but the room spun. The colourfully beakers swirled and the blood in his body even seemed to be disoriented. It sloshed to the front of his skull only to crash at the back, lost in whatever Vexen's teeth had infected him with. Yeah, Vexen was creepy.

"Damn you're heavy," Axel commented with a strained chuckle. "How the hell does Sora handle you?"

Riku laughed and didn't even think twice about saying, "S-same way you handle Roxas..."

He gave up on hating the Organization or Axel for the moment and sagged further against the other boy. He nuzzled into the cotton to the tune of Axel's impish laughter.

* * *

><p>His brain still buzzed as the moon gleamed outside his bars. The sight of the moon looking caged made him sad. Sora could see the same moon except his window would have no bars, maybe just a curtain veiling its light.<p>

He supposed he had Axel to thank for the montage of Sora running through his mind while he was questioned throughout the night. It actually helped to have Sora's face before his eyes even as he writhed in restraints and sweated under Vexen's shrewd gaze. When he saw the glint of a needle's head or felt Vexen's fingers lift his chin up he thought about Sora. He almost tricked himself into believing that one day he would back at the farmhouse sharing Sora's bed.

The bed he had now was a cement mattress and his head for a pillow. Lexaeus knew nothing about being a parent since he tucked Riku into bed by dumping his face first on the floor. The air went out of his chest and formed a cloud before his eyes.

There was haze to his gaze as the needle nuzzled his arm. He pretended it was Sora giving him bee-sting kisses and getting too excited with the teasing of Riku's hair. The illusion shattered when Riku's back hit the wall and the bars rattled closed.

The fear hit Riku the hardest the last time he was thrown back in jail. He was trembling and panting from the drugs and the more he thought about how much he was shaking the more afraid he became. He thought he would die from not getting enough air or that his heart may give out or, in his wildest moments, thought that his heart may explode. He put an experimental hand to his chest and the action almost drove him mad; his hand shook so much he couldn't slip it under his shirt.

He only breathed faster and shorter when he couldn't discern whether it was his hand or heart trembling. He tried gnashing his fingers into his skin and clawing at his chest. He grew more frantic and felt more fragile with every breath. A dandelion with a full plume and any breeze could burst it. In his digging his finger scratched something that was neither flesh nor cloth, but something papery.

He tore his shirt drawing from his breast pocket a tattered half of a photo. His hands were now jumpy with excitement. He had forgotten he had the picture and was overjoyed to rediscover it.

The photo nearly slipped through his fingers and outside the bars, but he grasped it before it was swept away.

Riku leaned against the bars to look at Sora. His breathing slowed and his grasp became steadier as looked upon it.

"Hey...a-are you alright in there, pr-prisoner?" Demyx asked from somewhere out of sight.

Riku didn't answer Demyx but he sighed over his heart finally returning to a normal pace and rested his head against the bars.

"Oh, God! He's died on my watch," Demyx whined. With a couple quick steps Demyx was at Riku's door and nudging the back of his head with his gun.

Riku almost felt sorry for Demyx as he grabbed the boy's gun from his hands. Demyx made a startled noise and backed away with his hands up while Riku got unsteadily to his feet.

"Man, I thought you were dead!" Demyx said as he bumped up against the opposite wall.

Riku raised the gun and pointed it at the boy. Demyx flinched and grew pale.

"Let me out," Riku panted.

Demyx shook his head and said with a quaver, "Are you kidding? None of the superiors would trust me with keys. Do you know how many pairs of shoelaces I've lost? Almost as many as the number of boots I've lost."

There seemed to be honesty to Demyx's fear. Riku thought quickly about what he could do. He could shoot the lock, alerting guards, shoot Demyx and expect to get out of the Organization headquarters with only three rounds?

Riku flipped the gun and awkwardly held it pointing under his chin.

"No! No, don't do that!" Demyx cried, breaking from the wall as Riku pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened.

Riku slowly drew the rifle from under his chin and inspected the chamber for bullets. His stood a little unsteadily as he said blandly, "It's not loaded."

"Oh – oh yeah!" Demyx said with a cheer. He stuck his hand through the bars, reaching for his gun. "I don't usually keep it loaded since I'm no good with guns. I forgot when you pulled that suicide act."

Not quite sure whether he should feel relieved or upset that nothing had become of the gun, Riku passed it back to Demyx. The clumsy soldier clutched it to his chest and then stuck a reprimanding finger under Riku's nose.

"Don't do that again. I don't want to see you splatter your brains all over the wall. That's scary, man."

Riku looked at Demyx through squinted eyes. Demyx readjusted his cap bashfully and spoke a little calmer.

"Well, I _don't_ want to see that. Whether you're my best friend or ex-superior. There's got to be something unlucky about watching someone's suicide."

Riku _tch_ed and went to sit back down against the wall.

"You are a horrible soldier," Riku said, making Demyx look up with surprise.

It was Riku's turn to feel surprise when Demyx scratched his head and looked embarrassedly at his unlaced boots.

"Well, I do try. I mean try to be a decent soldier but things just don't go my way, you know? Maybe you don't," Demyx sighed, "Guys like you and Axel are just good at this stuff."

Riku watched Demyx amusedly as the boy squirmed before him. He had to remind himself that he was here thanks to the Organization and that he shouldn't be smiling at Demyx, no matter what antics he caused. He did feel respect for the boy for his honesty and heart.

"You could have pointed out that I am the one behind bars and you're still a free soldier," Riku said, giving Demyx a stern look. "A good soldier wouldn't have gotten captured."

Demyx scratched his head and gave Riku an odd look. He supposed he could understand Demyx's confusion. Riku had been silent with him even before he was found out and now he was almost praising the ridiculous soldier.

A thought occurred to Riku as he watched Demyx bumble and try to find words to reply with. It was a sad thought that made his hands shake as he got to his feet. He stumbled forward and fell against the bars, causing Demyx to leap back a step. There was some danger in asking Demyx to do it but the drugs had his brain addled and he trusted Demyx more than he did anyone else there. Besides, hadn't he just said Demyx was a bad soldier so he would probably do what a prisoner asked of him, especially if the prisoner had once held some power over him.

"Burn this," Riku said and thrust the picture fragment at him. Demyx took the photo and glanced at it as Riku retreated back to the wall.

"This...looks like Roxas but...it's not," Demyx mumbled. "This is his brother, Sora, right? Oh my God! You're Roxas' brother's boyfriend, aren't you?"

Riku just blinked, not sure how he felt about such a low ranking officer knowing about his attachments. It was bad enough Zexion knew. He was really regretting his choice when he glanced Demyx scrutinizing him. What secret cogs were churning thoughts in Demyx's head?

"You decked Axel!" Demyx said, pointing incredulously at him. Riku smirked at that. No great thoughts then, after all, what should he expect from the soldier who managed to lose more boots than laces? The impossible, perhaps?

"Cadet, what are you doing?" a familiar voice asked.

Demyx hastily stuffed the photo down his shirt and raised his hand for a salute and knocked his cap off.

"Marluxia, sir! I was just guarding."

Marluxia stepped into view and stood menacingly before Demyx.

"Guarding or talking?" Marluxia asked with a delicately insinuating tone.

"Uh, both?" Demyx replied uncertainly.

"Guards need not talk to prisoners."

"Yes, sir."

"You are relieved from duty for the rest of the morning," Marluxia said coldly, stepped aside to let Demyx past.

"Y-yes, sir," Demyx said with a bow of his head. As he left he gave Riku and odd look but said nothing about the photo.

Marluxia watched Demyx leave and after a minute he turned to look at Riku.

"This was not part of the plan," Marluxia said quietly with his hands clasped behind his back.

Riku lowered his head and snorted scathingly.

"I just reviewed the notes from all your questionings. You did well in not letting anything slip," Marluxia complimented with a bow of his head. Riku turned his face away and concentrated on the wall as Marluxia went on. "I was worried that the drugs would affect you and to some extent they did. Then Axel spoke."

Marluxia paused as if waiting for Riku to comment on seem deep bond he and Axel shared or how the redheaded boy inspired him to hold on for just a second longer. Words like that would never pass Riku's lips.

"Are you in league with Axel?" Marluxia asked.

Riku refused to answer or look at the man outside the bars. He was tired and in no state ready to start this dance again with the head of the information sector. If Marluxia had wanted his help then he should have kept Leon alive or kept Zexion away from Riku. He wasn't interested in giving information to this man.

"Axel would be helpful to our cause-"

"_Your_ cause," Riku corrected with a craggy voice.

Marluxia seemed affronted for he paused and checked his voice before replying delicately, "It really would be wise for you to join Larxene and me. You have few options now and little control over yourself."

"Do I get a choice between getting shot from behind or lined up against a wall?" Riku asked moodily.

"I know that you witnessed your brother's death," Marluxia said mildly, "and for that I am sorry. His time ran out and there was nothing I could do, even as head of this sector."

"You tortured him, you bastard," Riku growled as crossed his arms across his chest.

"No, not personally. You have eyes, you saw Luxord do that."

"You got the information out of him that led to Sora getting shot," Riku quipped. He looked up at Marluxia's placid face and dared him to lie.

"I did but without torture or drugging," Marluxia looked steadily at him and said calmly, "I told him I knew all about you and that I had not exposed you. I explained to him that I wanted a word with his king and that I would rather not expose you. Leon didn't believe my reasons to the full extent but he believed I knew about you. He gave the information up willingly and I promised not to kill the king, which I never had an intention to do. He did not want the life or death of a prisoner for you. He asked me to keep my word that I would join with your king's army and continue to attempt to persuade you to join me. I think I began to earn his trust before he died. I was upset that Xemnas believed his usefulness to be at an end."

"All you just said," Riku murmured from shaky lips and on a rattling breath, "all of it is _bullshit_."

"I don't believe that you believe that," Marluxia said without a hint of malice.

Riku ignored him and went back to his stubborn perusal of the wall. The sun was coming up and Xemnas would be sending in the day shift to work his jaw. He didn't feel like wasting words on Marluxia, despite how he wondered if there was something honest about Marluxia's divided loyalties.

"Riku, what you feel is survivor's guilt," Marluxia murmured, his voice touching Riku's ear as velvety as Zexion's had and making his suspicion rise. Yet he sounded remorseful and a quick glimpse of the other man's face showed a sincere graveness in his eyes and slackened lips. "I admit that Leon was a strong man that was as unlikely to bend to my methods as a tree would to a breeze. But everyone has a limit. You were his and I do not mean to threaten you in saying this, but you have a limit too. I know this, as I'm sure Axel and Zexion do. I am asking for your help and in return you will receive mine. You do not need to be in this position or to put others in this position."

"This position that your men have put me in," Riku said hoarsely. "Zexion is your pupil, you trained him. He sounds a lot like you."

"You are hurt and angry. It's a lot to ask, but try to be unbiased. Pain and anger won't set you free. In fact those are the two fuels that many of the Organization superiors run on," Marluxia stared down at him, but Riku refused to meet his gaze. If Marluxia was lying then he could easily take advantage of Riku by his emotions, after all that was his talent.

"Riku, when the sun rises the General will start a new wave of attack on you. I am asking for your loyalty and if I have that I will chance Xemnas' anger and find a way to keep you from harm."

Riku closed his eyes and pulled his coat tighter around him. He wasn't sure whether it was the best of him or the worst of him that believed Marluxia. The only thing he was certain of was a need for sleep.

"Riku, I am not a man to beg, especially at a boy's feet, but I am beseeching you to prevent this from happening," Marluxia said with some real emotion, "I want to take Larxene with me and away from the General's power but the more we do for Xemnas the dirtier our hands become. There is no way for us to start a new life on the opposing side if we are perceived as monsters."

Marluxia waited and Riku tried to keep his words from pushing their way out of his throat. Just as Marluxia began to retreat Riku muttered, "I'll think about it."


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: **Lyrics and title belong to one of my muses, 30 Seconds to Mars. Axel and Riku get to do their dance of dagger eyes and manly mental flexes.

**FYI:** You know the last couple days where I haven't been posting? Yeah? Good. I promise I wasn't off in the ether munching on chocolates or blowing bubbles. I've been editing. And since it's the holidays for some I'm going to give all I've got. Here's the first of it.

**To:** You Guys

**Love:** T'nT

* * *

><p><strong>Kings and Queens<strong>

_The lessons that we've learned here_

_Have only just begun_

_We are the kings and queens of promise_

"Just so everyone plays fair I have a couple rules to lay down. Rule number one: Saix and I are Simon so when one of us says stop, you stop," Luxord said as he held up one finger. Another finger came up to count as he said, "Rule number two: you must participate."

Riku stood sneering at the back of Luxord's head while Xaldin acted as guard behind Riku. Just as Marluxia had warned, Larxene was present and leaning against the wall with the two-way mirror. Axel was also there and looked none too pleased to be. His shoulders were up, his arms were crossed and his attitude could be summed up in the words _hell no_. The sceptic in Riku believed that by the end of the session someone would be broken.

Luxord continued on with his final rule.

"And rule number three: everything is allowed save for death. With that being said, empty your guns and put your knives in the corner of the room please."

Axel and Larxene did as they were told but still Axel's body language opposed Luxord's orders. It was funny that Axel did so, at least to Riku. He had heard time and time again how fantastic a soldier Axel made and yet he acted like a rebel. How could Xemnas cope with someone who had a great amount of spirit and no bridle?

Luxord seemed to sniff out the insolence in his student's posture, for he said, "You might have some misconceptions about what exactly we are doing and whether it's right. Unfortunately you aren't holding the cards; you are one of the Organization's cards to be played."

Riku lowered his gaze as Luxord repeated the words that Riku had warned Axel of a month ago and still knew to be true. Xemnas played, he didn't get played.

Axel was either a blind fool or a fool with attitude for he replied, "That doesn't make the Organization sound like a happy place."

Riku heard Marluxia's partner, Larxene, _tch_ Axel and Riku let a smirk curve his lips.

Luxord chuckled out, "Xemnas warned me you were a wild one. However, even wild cards are under the game's rules. War isn't 'happy.' And perhaps it's a bit too light hearted to call the war a game, but in essence that is what it is. Someone will have to win. In order to do this we have to do all that we can."

Riku scoffed at Luxord's wise words and gained the room's attention. Luxord regarded him with curiosity.

"Playing a game are we? Then why aren't you following the rules?" Riku asked bitterly. All eyes seared him like the blinding whiteness of the room. There were some snorts of amusement, but he didn't let them buffet him.

If Luxord was so keen on rules then why did Xion have to die? Or Leon? Why were people being tortured or houses lit on fire? Riku understood rules to be a safe guard for humanity and there was the Organization trashing and ravaging the weak, the innocent and the trapped of Twilight Town.

Luxord's clever eyes beamed at him as he said, "Because the only rules between us are to follow our personal rules as well as the superiors' rules, and to stay alive."

Riku gritted his teeth and was about to bark that Luxord's morals must be as twisted as his torture methods when he was struck on the back of his head with something harder than a human hand. He balked and his knees kissed the white floor.

His sights went dark with the blow and his teeth bit into his bottom lip. He was tired and strained from the night before. If Xaldin hadn't brought him up by a hand in his hair he would have laid stunned on the floor for a good five minutes. He wasn't really grateful for being picked up.

Through the throbbing protest of his skull he heard Axel's appalled voice ring.

"What the hell are you idiots _doing_?"

"Axel, shut up. You're making me sick," Larxene snarled.

"You sure that's not the speck of humanity telling you this is wrong?" Axel fired back.

His eyes watered with the pain and his legs scrabbled beneath Xaldin's grasp. He found no comfort in his knees pressed to the cement, his lack of balance because of his bound wrists or from the people in the room, even the ones who protested. He felt a great amount of disdain for Axel. The haughty soldier's sympathy would get him nowhere in a room that the world was blind to. His words were just words and the only thing they touched was Riku's fading pride. If the positions were switched Riku would have...he snorted and liked to believe he would have done more.

Riku felt Xaldin's hand shake on the back of his head as he laughed at Axel's words.

"Humanity? Cadet, do you know what this boy would have done if he wasn't captured?" Xaldin asked and yanked on Riku's hair.

Riku snarled and wanted for his hands to be unbound. He would have had Xaldin flat on his back, weak or not, in seconds. Long hair really hurt to be pulled and all that Xaldin was a murderer.

"This man, who would stand so tall if we let him," Xaldin continued, pulled at Riku's hair again as if to pull his dark intentions out by his silver roots, "This is the man who would have crept between the aisles of your sleeping quarters and slit your throat as you slept. You would have awoken from your dream only to meet a gurgling, bloody death. And he would do so to your friends. What does humanity say about letting your friends choke on their own blood when you could have stopped it? Do you want your friends to die?"

Riku began to struggle only to be subdued by a quick tug. It pissed him off to be touched by a man whose hands had held the gun that killed his brother. He was a Goddamn hypocrite for suggesting Riku would do any of those things. The only time he might have is if he was in one of his darkest moments where Ansem and everything he had learned from Saix shone the brightest. And after his hands were stained and the knife dropped from his trembling grip he would feel the urge to inflict as much pain on himself. He felt sick guilt where Xaldin felt sweet pleasure.

Riku, though his anger put a hand over his eyes, felt amazed that Axel stuck to his ways.

With a bite in his voice, the wild guard spat, "No, but you want information right? How does this get us anything? You're not asking questions."

"One key does not open all locks," Xaldin said calmly.

Riku made to turn his head to point out that some locks didn't have keys but Axel beat him to the punch.

"I hate to break it to you but Riku's a person, not a fricken door."

Riku froze in his squirming and fixed his watery eyes on the tall young man. He expected Axel to look more puffed with confidence, but the boy appeared sick about the whole business. His arms were crossed and his head was lowered, shaking slowly back and forth.

Seeing Axel struggle against the older and more numerous people in the room brought some calm to Riku. He wasn't a man among monsters, they were two people among wolves, him and Axel.

Riku had to look away and remind himself that Axel's words were just words. In this room there was no hope only his body and how long it could last.

There was a cold change in Xaldin's voice as he asked, "Do I have permission to show the cadet how much of a human our prisoner is?"

Riku couldn't see the man's face so he looked to Axel to figure out how he should be feeling. Axel's brow was knotted and his lips were drawn in a sneer. So Riku should have been feeling confused and angry, just as he had been for the past ten minutes.

Suspicion and fear grew from his own mind as he watched Luxord join a pale faced Larxene against the back wall. He saw her eyes widen and saw a gleam as Xaldin drew something from his belt. He struggled to get away from the knife that Xaldin probably had hovered over his back, but was forced to stay put with a great yank on his hair.

If there was ever a time he felt like an animal it was now. Xaldin had him pinned and defenceless with little understanding of how his life would be in the next thirty seconds.

A knife flew past his cheek and spun out on the floor a couple feet from Axel's boots. Riku watched Axel take a step back and lean his weight away from the knife as if it could bite of its own accord.

Xaldin released his head only to crush the air from his lungs and fill his mind with a cruel whisper.

"All that stands in your way is Axel," Xaldin said gruffly. Riku's gaze flicked up to Axel who was looking more confused and a hell of a lot more afraid. It was hard to crane his neck while Xaldin pushed on the spot he had butted so he looked back down at Axel's feet. Through watery eyes he watched Axel shift his weight from foot to foot.

Xaldin cut the rope binding Riku and growled, "There is a loaded gun behind him and a knife between the both of you. I suggest you move quickly."

Riku saw Axel's stance tense as Xaldin gave him a shove in the right direction. Stopping didn't occur to him, he used the push to scramble even faster across the floor and snatch the knife up. After that things got rough.

A couple fingers were broken by Axel's boot. His body jerked and he caught sight of Axel's loaded gun in the corner of the room.

He panted and his joints screamed like rusty hinges. This pristine room wasn't that, it was filled with bad air that had never known true daylight only glaring florescent lights.

There was an arm around his throat and he had to keep fighting or die in his enemy's arms. It might have been a sweat drop or a tear that rolled down Riku's cheek. He was so tired. He couldn't be bothered to wipe or shake it away. Besides, his hands were full.

Fear had its arm around his neck, Fear also squeezed his throat tight, and Riku was no match for something beyond humanity. His nails dug into Fear's arm and came away bloody.

He flailed and jarred their heads together. Riku had a chance to face his fears and got his arms up. He saw eyes that were human shaped but glowed vivid green with rage.

Riku's head banged off the ground but he was used to the world writhing and ringing before his eyes. He saw the monster's glowing eyes and sought to blind them.

Something screamed, some _thing_ screamed and descended on him like an eagle. He fought off Fury who wailed like a tormented cat and hissed, snarled and batted at him without a pattern.

He had to shut her up, her screams were driving him crazy and he was so tired. Every hit she took she gave two back and her wails only egged Fear on.

Riku was ripped by his shoulders from her and thrown to the ground. He was wailed at, wailed on, wacked out, broken in and broken down. It felt like falling off a bike, cracking his ribs on the handle bar, the pedal digging into his shins, and scraping half his nose onto the road except that he fell again, again, again and kept tumbling. Rocks went through a similar process to become polished gems.

There would be blackness and then glowing green or his hands would move to cover his ears and move again, then in would come the screech. Riku thought that this was how the world was. He would have a moment to sleep, he would wake up, walk outside and start the tumbling again. Later he would roll out as a gem, all wet and colourful. Maybe the tumbling was done, maybe they were shaping him with the butt of a gun hammering into his gut and clipping his head in lieu of a chisel. That was how he would spend his day...until someone yelled –

"Stop. I said stop, soldiers!"

He stopped the tumble, drew in a shaky and watery breath, then curled all the parts of his body that would move for him in on himself so his extremities could have a conference on the pain they felt. Little parts of his body wouldn't move or wouldn't work. The little bits of him that wouldn't work bent in odd ways and refused to curl or stuck to other bits of him with vivid, red glue. He was somebody's work of art and the critics had an opinion.

"Disgusting, isn't he, soldier?"

He curled some more but was pinned by the throat and forced to straighten. His wrists stung as the rope was tied. He was dragged across the floor and propped against the wall. He was somebody else's unfinished project and when he crumbled on the floor he couldn't rebuild himself. Everything hurt from his broken bones to shattered pride to his bleeding nose and fucked up inside. It hurt to breathe, cough, cry and smell. So he slept but didn't feel like he did because every time one muscle relaxed it rested on another muscle's bruise.

What seemed like minutes later his body was set on fire and every bit of him howled. He jerked up and splattered back down when a rifle butt cuffed him upside his head.

* * *

><p>"Oh man..." Riku heard Demyx whine. It was a little distorted by the throbbing blood in his ears, but, knowing Demyx, there was likely a whine to his voice.<p>

It hurt to do so but Riku drew his hand over his swollen face. Blood flaked from his upper lip and his forehead felt sticky. His pride felt about the same as his broken nose.

"Sorry, that was plain rude," Demyx muttered. He lightly patted Riku's hand and asked, "Can you maybe take your hand off your face?"

Riku ignored Demyx but didn't fight him when his guard nudged Riku's hand away. He heard the boy suck in a breath and mutter under his breath. Riku jumped into a sitting position when Demyx's clumsy hand bumped a wet rag against his nose. Demyx flinched too and there was a clatter followed by a damp chill that seeped into Riku's clothes.

"No! Aw, water!" Demyx scolded.

Riku blinked open his eyes to saw Demyx crouched on the floor of the cell trying to sweep a puddle into a small tin bucket with a piece of cloth.

"Demyx, what-" Riku's voice sounded like how a furnace might speak if it could. He _hmm_ed then spat on the ground, aiming more for the toilet and missing by a foot. Demyx made a gagging noise at the sight of Riku's spit, but with its dispersal he was able to rasp, "Demyx, what are you doing?"

"Vexen came by your cell and kind of caught me dozing on my watch," Demyx muttered and gave up on the water. Half of it was now in their clothes anyway. "He said I should clean you up for your next questioning. I'm as bad a nurse as I am a soldier."

Demyx squatted in the puddle and looked about dismally. He raised his arms to show his sodden coat sleeves and chuckled, "I'm a _wet_ nurse. Get it?"

Demyx startled when Riku fell forward in a coughing fit.

"Man, that's the first time anyone's actually choked on my lame jokes," he said as he scurried to Riku's side and began slapping the boy's back. The patting did more bad than good since he had boot print bruises along his spine.

Riku's laughing chokes ended when he swatted Demyx's hands away. He eased himself against the wall and tried to forget Demyx's stupid puns and get back to being able to breathe.

Demyx still sat in the puddle, wringing the rag while trying to think of something to say.

"Uh, you know, Vexen will probably be by soon and I was supposed to have you cleaned an hour ago, but you know what they say about letting sleeping dogs lie. So I probably should-"

"Give me the rag," Riku said, extending his hand. "I can do it myself."

"Really?" Demyx asked cheerfully. Riku just extended his hand a little farther. Demyx smiled and said, "Thanks, man."

The appreciative smile slipped from his face when he got a good look at Riku's hand. Riku ignored Demyx's concern and motioned for the rag.

"Jesus...did Lexaeus do that?" Demyx asked as he gently placed the rag in Riku's bent hand.

Riku regarded Demyx from the corner of his eye while he set to work cleaning his face and hands with the little water still left in the bucket.

"Why would you think Lexaeus did this?" Riku asked warily.

"Just 'cause the guy is ridiculously strong. I was too afraid to screw around in any of my classes because Lexaeus dealt with the kids who stepped out of line, like Axel."

Riku laughed dryly, "Really? I was told Axel was an upstanding soldier. I think he would fall in line perfectly."

"I know your Sora's beaux but you have actually met Axel, right?" Demyx chuckled as he sat himself against the opposite wall and got as comfy as possible. "Axel only takes orders from himself. He's the bravest guy I know. I mean, he doesn't even back down to _Larxene_."

Riku decided not to comment and let Demyx live in Axel's delusionary heroic glow. Who was he to comment on two-faced bastards? He was a two-faced bastard.

"You should have seen how pissed Axel made Vexen this one-"

"Riku worked as a spy among the Organization for over three months," Saix said coolly from outside the bars. Neither Demyx nor Riku had seen or heard him approach, and both started at his voice. He was staring icily at Demyx who was getting hastily to his feet to salute his superior. Saix didn't even bother nodding and turned to Riku who had gone back to timorously washing his face. He surveyed Riku for a moment then said, "I am here to collect you for further questioning with Vexen. Do not resist me or you will suffer as your friends have suffered before you. I'm sure you remember Xion and Leon?"

Riku snorted, sending watery blood flying from his upper lip. He took his time getting to his feet and said nothing as he stood soberly before Saix's cold stare.

"I am glad I have your cooperation," Saix said as he bound Riku's hands and kicked at his heels to make him walk.

"Or perhaps," Saix whispered in a slicing tone, "I have made just as much of an impression on you as your master in your decimated hometown. What a pity that I do not forgive once scorned."

Saix left Riku feeling chilled and frightened at Vexen's door. The pinch in his arm from the needle stung but was welcome in the fact that it woke him to the situation.

Riku fought the drugs harder this time and said nothing. Through the cotton and the bowing of his dandelion head, he could see Vexen's rage make his eyes pop and saw the wag of Zexion's pen as he scrawled notes. Apparently Marluxia had given up on trying to keep Larxene's hands clean since she stood guard as Axel had on his first taste of the Organization's Information Sector.

Riku kept himself focused by focusing on things far from him. He thought of Sora in a time when they were younger and not in fear of the war. He liked remembering how Sora had surprised him on Riku's sixteenth birthday. He had sat shirtless on Riku's bed, his face red but very determined.

Vexen rubbed the injection spot.

Riku had teased Sora for being so embarrassed. He had turned to the window's cool breeze to calm his own flushing cheeks when Sora grabbed his arm and kissed him.

Vexen asked him the same questions he had heard the other day. Or maybe it was two days ago, but Riku wasn't listening. He closed his eyes.

Sora had been the one to lead him by the lips to bed and to cover his face with wet-boyish kisses. They had done that many times now that they were a couple, but they had never gone all the way. They had talked about it and agreed about how they only wanted it if the other wanted it with slightly bated breath and a little squirming in their seats. But never did anything about it. Sixteen and owner of his home and Sora was in his arms and kissing him in his bed.

Vexen had Zexion force his eyes open and the white lights above dazzled him.

Sora kissed him once with a knowing look then pulled away to unfasten Riku's belt. In the fading light of Riku's bedroom Sora sat on him so lightly. His hands shook –

"Where is your king, Riku?" Vexen ordered as he grabbed Riku's shoulders and shook him.

Riku blinked and leaned back in the chair with a sigh.

His hands shook as he grabbed Sora's wrists and asked him to stop. Confusion and even greater marks of embarrassment made Sora's face as Riku repeated his plea for Sora to stop. He remembered Sora's fingers very slowly letting go of his belt and how his eyes shone with the beginning of tears as he asked why. Didn't Riku want him? Hadn't they agreed that they wanted each other like this? Sora said he should leave now and that he was sorry, he called himself stupid and grabbed his shirt.

Vexen pushed Riku's shoulders into the chair as he got up in a rage and returned a couple seconds later to untie one of Riku's restraints and flip the hand over to expose the wrist. Riku's cotton head bobbed.

With his pants undone and slipping down, Riku chased Sora to the door. He had one hand on the back of his pants and the other on Sora's shoulder. He didn't want Sora to go, if it was a choice between Sora leaving him alone or making love for the first time when he felt so...unprepared, Riku would choose the latter. He'd probably enjoy it, it's just he hadn't figured out other boyfriend things yet, liking when to hold hands or how to kiss in public. Sora should stay and they could do it, he just needed time to prepare. Sora stopped his ramble with a kiss and embraced Riku's fears with a hug.

Vexen dug the knife in deep to Riku's wrist, drawing a scream from the boy. Riku's free arm flailed and flung blood and the knife from his wound. Vexen ordered Zexion to hold him still while he restrained Riku again. Over the scientist's shoulder, through the cotton fog, he saw Larxene bump against the wall and startle herself as she backed away.

Vexen continued the questioning and it was harder for Riku to let his mind escape in memories when every silence meant pressing his new wound.

"Where is your king? Where is your king, Riku? Where is your king?"

_Where is Sora? Where is Sora? Where is he, Riku?_

Riku yelled inarticulately in Vexen's face, sending the scientist off his chair and onto the floor. Zexion regarded his master coolly and Larxene looked scornfully down at Vexen. The scientist slowly and cautiously got to his feet and rearranged a strand of dishevelled hair.

"Zex...Zexion," Vexen said breathlessly as he gave Riku a wary look, "We are done for the day. Call someone to...clean him up and take him back. Larxene, stand guard while I...go look at my notes."

Zexion left after Vexen and it was only him Larxene and the pain in his arm alive in the room. Riku sat panting through his teeth in the chair, attempting to lift his cut arm off its stinging resting place. His head was bobbing in the breeze again. Thoughts were clouds.

"Shit..." Larxene whispered as she approached him with trepidation. She was looking at his arm and watching the blood pool at the chair's leg. "Those fuckers should have bandaged that. What if you bleed out. This is disgusting."

"Shut the fuck up," Riku panted and glared up at her. A sneer came onto Larxene's face but it turned sickly as she took in Riku's sad appearance.

"Marluxia warned you," she said and her voice quavered. She paused to clear her throat as she continued with more of her usual vehemence. "He warned you this shit would happen and if you had listened then neither of us would have to go through this shit."

"Poor princess," Riku said and spat at her boot. Larxene's sneer regained its fury and natural contempt.

"You and Axel are both fucking stupid. You should just take Marluxia's help," she snarled.

Riku looked up at her groggily. The more he strained against his restraints the more blood he lost and the more tired he became.

"Don't you die on me, asshole!" Larxene said furiously and falteringly as Riku's head bobbed to the side.

That was how he and Sora had settled things. They went back to bed, back to kissing and fell asleep in each other's arm still clothed from the waist down.

* * *

><p>This scene was familiar to Riku though his perspective was changed. Luxord sat before him in the white room with his revolver loaded with a single bullet possibly pointed at his knee. Two of Riku's most favourite people were also present. Zexion, the boy who admitted to spying on Sora, was in the glaring white room instead of snuggled in the dark room behind the mirror.<p>

Marluxia had found the time last night to stop by and see how Riku's decision making was going. Riku had consented to join Marluxia's cause if the man provided details on how he planned to get Riku out of prison and back to Twilight Town. Marluxia admitted he was hesitant on giving plans to a mouth that was being pried by the General's top dogs. So they were at a standstill yet again.

Riku had shrugged as he walked about his cell, glancing over at Marluxia to gage his reaction when he spoke.

"You're head of the Information Sector, so go figure it out. Even Demyx could understand why I don't trust you."

"I thought you could dig no deeper, except to climb in your coffin," Marluxia said with a canny smile. "Do you not feel that you have nothing left to lose?"

"I'm alive, aren't I?"

Marluxia nodded and said lightly, "As is Sora."

Riku's gaze flickered in the moonlight.

"Yeah?" he snorted as he said, "I guess Zexion would know."

"Yes, he would and he reports to me that Sora is sick and unable to get out of bed most days, but he is alive."

Guilt hit hard against Riku's ribs, making his heart stutter and face pale. In a decidedly angry tone he replied, "Well, I suppose that makes it easier on Xemnas to just capture and torture him, right?"

"No matter what Zexion hints at Xemnas will not take such actions."

"The heart isn't a regenerating organ so don't bullshit me the General's grown one. Don't tell me that Xemnas would never do such a thing," Riku spat.

"I did not say as you heard, Riku," Marluxia replied calmly, "I meant something different. Xemnas will not take such actions at the present."

Riku looked over his shoulder at Marluxia's stoic posture before asking, "Why would he wait? Are the stars not aligned or something?"

"I suppose you could say Mars refuses to fall in line," Marluxia replied with a quick, keen grin. Perhaps Marluxia had lost some weight for his smile looked like thin skin stretched over teeth. But that skeletal sight was coming through a puffy eye, so had he really?

Riku turned all the way around and fixed suspicious eyes on the lone figure before his cage. He didn't understand all that was being said; he wasn't entitled to the Organization's classified information anymore. He did feel worried over the cryptic phrases but Marluxia would say little.

What Marluxia did say the night before was that he would need time to make plans, but it was proving difficult to be deceptive, even if he was the head of the Information Sector. There were rumours that there were traitors among the ranks and Marluxia had no part in making up such rumours, meaning that Zexion was sniffing again and not on his superior's orders.

Riku, strapped in the chair with Luxord rocking his revolver's cylinder with his thumb, knew that Marluxia was sitting behind the window whispering to Larxene in the dark while Zexion was occupied at a better vantage point.

Riku's other favourite person was currently sitting with his back against the wall and his head in his hands. Axel looked like his thoughts and wants were somewhere other than this room. Riku also found it curious how Axel stared at Zexion intently. There was definitely something cracked in their friendship and Axel's chipping gaze attempted to make it a canyon.

Zexion turned to give Axel a cool contemptuous look of his own and the redhead snorted dramatically.

Luxord sighed and the wrinkles on his forehead became more salient as he lowered the gun from Riku's knee and turned to Axel.

"Are you bored, soldier?"

"No, sir," Axel said looked both bored and haughty.

Riku would not have cared if Axel wished to take his place as centre of attention if he felt so bored. Riku doubted it was boredom; Axel had been behaving differently around him ever since the day Axel and Larxene had beaten him. Sometimes Riku would catch something like pity in Axel's eyes, other times contempt. Perhaps Axel was just as confused about who Riku was as Riku felt.

Riku lowered his gaze as he thought that maybe on days when Axel saw or thought about Roxas were the days when he saw Riku as Roxas' brother's lover, something like a brother-in-law. The rest of the days were when he saw Riku as Twilight Trash, but Riku still wasn't sure. After all, Riku was a person, maybe a terrible one, but not a fricken' lock.

Luxord raised an eyebrow and motioned with his finger as he said to Axel, "Come here."

Riku bowed his head and breathed deeply as Luxord vacated the chair before him and offered it to Axel. So it would be Axel who would blow his knee to shards. It shouldn't have mattered who held the gun, every free man and woman here was with the Organization and so they were all the same.

Still, Riku let his curiosity get the best of him and he looked up to study Axel's face. Would today be contempt or pity? Organization or Roxas?

"What? Do I have something on my face?" Axel asked cattily but his gaze flicked warily over Riku.

He turned his gaze away from Axel. It would just be easier if he didn't see the person behind the gun.

"A couple days ago I believe it was you who complained that Xaldin and I weren't actually questioning the prisoner. Why don't you try your hand at it now?" Luxord taunted while Axel fingered the revolver.

Like two boys whose mothers were telling them to go off and play, they looked at each other in a testing-the-waters sort of way. Riku leered at him and Axel's shoulders shook with silent laughter as he looked back down at the gun. There was nothing funny about the situation except for the irony. Riku felt torn between laughing and just letting his wounds take their course in further decay.

Luxord cleared his throat, breaking whatever fragile bond of understanding the boys had and Axel got down to business.

"So..." Axel began, lifting the gun up carelessly with his one finger and letting it dangle before Riku's eyes. "Where would you like me to point this thing?"

Riku gave him a deadpan look. He was beginning to see why Demyx enjoyed Axel's company; birds of a feather flock together and the cuckoo's nest was short by two members.

Riku just took a deep breath and stared fixedly at Axel. They were soldiers, one of them a prisoner the other a questioner. The gun Axel held was very real and so were their borders. This was not the time for comedy, yet Axel persisted with such.

He trailed the gun over particularly painful places to shoot while making faces and soft sounds of mock pain. Any humour Riku found in Axel's charades died when the gun hovered over his belt buckle. Axel, with a true grimace, drew the gun away from there.

Riku sighed and placed a resigned and, likely, fearful look on his face. They were here for a reason and none of this playing around made it any easier; when the gun went off the bullet, blood and pain would all be real and on Axel's hands whether he liked it or not.

Axel lowered his eyes in understanding and bit his lip. He seemed to take Riku's resignation with some actual thought and, maybe Riku's imagination and the drugs had him reading too much, maybe some respect. Seriousness settled in Axel's bones and took his sights far away from Riku's boots. Riku wondered what could make Axel so sober and, in a whisper only the two of them could hear, Axel explained.

"Roxas..."

Riku's swollen lips parted but he remembered not to speak while Zexion watched them suspiciously from the corner of the room. Axel had his head hung and let his eyes dart up to Riku's. In the utterance of Roxas' name Axel seemed to be explaining everything to him. The reason Axel marched, fought and bent his mind to do back flips for Xemnas was for someone far away from the gun in his hand and the young man bound to the chair.

Suddenly Axel's slouch wasn't laziness, but his own weary resignation and the playful smirk was actually a guilty one. Riku was willing to bet his own blink at the man before him looked something like understanding. He couldn't forgive Axel, not while they were in the middle of the fight and maybe neither of them wanted anything to do with forgiveness. They just wanted the names that were always teetering on the front edge of their minds, ready to fall on their tongues.

"Did the prisoner say something?" Zexion asked as he craned his neck to peer over Axel's shoulder.

"Yeah, I don't even have to ask him the questions. What with all his extra alone time Riku's learned to read minds, Zex. He just told me you've got a _real_ nasty one."

Riku smirked while Axel did his growling. Zexion's lips became a straight line and Luxord sighed as he said a little annoyed, "Stick to the questions we all can hear, soldier."

"Right... so, wise all-knowing Riku, where's your leader?" Axel asked, his lips quirking with amusement at the other soldiers' disapproval and Riku's determination to keep a straight face. Riku did have to allow himself a cool smirk; Axel had decided to turn the Organization's dark practices into a mockery, something that Riku longed to do and more. If he could, Riku would have the entire Information Sector burned down and the prisoners let go.

Zexion muttered something about Axel's lack of finesse when Riku hushed the room with an actual response.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he said, his voice slow like a weary traveller picking his way through a collapsed mine.

"Yeah, we would ," Axel said casually. He leaned in as if sharing in a private joke as he said, "but you're not gonna say, huh? Okay, well, how about we try a different question..."

"Axel, if the prisoner doesn't supply a legitimate response then you're supposed to pull the trigger," Luxord said, rather patiently for someone whose operation was being mocked.

Riku wondered why Axel chuckled at Luxord's cold reprimand. The glint in his eyes suggested maybe this was payback, maybe for taking some of Axel's leash away. Maybe that included his lack of voice in Riku's torture. The sceptic in Riku believed Axel just liked pissing off the general populace.

"Right! My bad. Well the moment's gone so I guess you get a freebie, Riku. Better answer my next question seriously though," Axel said with a waggle of his finger. Riku _tch_ed under his breath and glowered mockingly at his questioner.

The gun's muzzle being rammed into his thigh wiped the smirk off his face. There was no warning, at least for Riku. Axel's heart must have flipped over because his features had lost their humour and his narrowed eyes and sneered teeth looked sharp.

Had the humour been a ruse? It looked like it now with Axel pulling off a rather determined snarl. The room also came back into focus for Riku, not that it had been blurry. He hadn't noticed the gun as Axel tossed it about his hands, and Luxord and Zexion, despite their dark uniforms in a white room, had vanished and now reappeared behind Axel.

The gun kissing his thigh hurt but Riku was more stung by Axel's flip-flopping mind. Couldn't the guy just choose one Goddamn side and quit the screwing around? Riku would never say another word in Axel's presence now and he let him know it with the hate alive in his eyes.

"Alright, Riku. I'm one hundred percent serious now and only, what? Eightyish percent sure that the bullet is not peeking out at your leg," Axel snarled and bent his head closer. Riku narrowed his eyes in a dare for Axel to do his worst. He was sick of Axel's dicking around and whatever happened, whether this was for Roxas or Xemnas, Riku would feel nothing but hate for him. This was their mess and now they would lie in it.

Axel blinked and the gun retracted so that it was breathing on Riku's leg. His wolfish grin disappeared when his lips closed in a sober line and he pulled his face back.

"So, answer me this," Axel asked with a calmer vehemence. Riku swore he saw Axel wink at him as he said, "Is Zexion really thinking about what Vexen would look like in a skirt?"

"Axel, you are relieved from your duties for the rest of the day."

* * *

><p>Sora was lucid enough that he could realize Riku had been gone longer than a day. The week that Riku had been missing shrivelled Sora's hope and possibly fed his infection and fever. He wouldn't admit his hopelessness to his brother after Axel's last visit had Roxas in fearful tears that his friend had come to say goodbye like Riku. Between kisses Sora had heard Axel whisper through the walls a mantra of 'I'm not leaving', 'I'll stay in you forever' and 'I'm still here'.<p>

Sora's optimism must have been infected too. He felt no jealousy for his brother who was held and loved that day. Sora had hobbled back to bed with dread weighing his step. He wanted to believe that Axel meant what he said to Roxas, but, after a week of no Riku or Axel, Sora just took to sleeping the day away.

He would wake up to see his brother sitting in a chair in the corner of his room, scratching his chin and staring out the window. It broke Sora's heart to see how thin Roxas was getting or to hear him pacing the space in the hall between their bedrooms.

The fourth day after Riku had left for Twilight Town, Sora and Roxas seemed to experience something. Roxas was sitting in Sora's bedroom window while Sora lay eerily still in his bed. The day was beautiful and the sun glowed gold as it set.

With no warning except for that sudden awareness one sometimes has just before a loud noise wakes you from sleep, Sora with from supine to sitting in a second and had let out a blood curdling scream in two.

Roxas had leapt from the window in fright and stood beside Sora's bed with his hand trembling on his stomach. Sora's wounded arm also was over his stomach that inexplicably, suddenly and violently hurt. Sora thought it was just his fever, but then he felt the need to move his hand up his shirt and over his heart. With wide eyes and a shock of panic, Sora watched as Roxas' hand also moved up his chest as Sora's had.

They stood and sat for a whole minute, breathing tremulously and never blinking. They looked at each with equally petrified looks.

Roxas found his voice and stuttered, "Sora...why did you scream?"

"I don't know...I felt I had to, like," Sora's lips moved without sound and then he frowned deeply and put his head in his hand. "It was like I was being drowned but not by water."

"By what?" Roxas whispered.

Sora shook his head and looked back up at his brother with bloodshot eyes. Roxas stood by Sora's bed with his lip quivering and hand still trembling over his heart. Then he wrapped his arms around his brother tight.

Over the course of the next three days Sora developed a cold and even through his streaming eyes he could see how guilty Roxas felt. He tried to assure his brother that it wasn't his fault, that it was impossible to tell who the cold had come from, but Roxas shook his head and reminded him that neither of them had had any visitors over the past week.

Maybe the guilt and fear was why Roxas kissed Sora's forehead and left for Twilight Town despite Sora begging him to stay.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer:** All the love to 30 Seconds for the creation of a song that gave me chills the first time I heard and still does after several dozens of times played.

* * *

><p><strong>Hurricane<strong>

_The promises we made were not enough_

_The prayers we prayed were like a drug_

_The secrets that we sold were never known_

_The love we had the love we had_ _we had to let it go_

Not long after Axel was dismissed for asking inappropriate questions, Riku was dragged back to his cell by Lexaeus and Zexion. Luxord had pulled the trigger twice during Riku's questioning, but the bullet hadn't fired into his hip or shoulder. Marluxia had called off the questioning then but allowed Lexaeus the pleasure of roughing him up a bit before putting him away. Surprisingly, Lexaeus had been the gentlest; he had made no new wounds but battered some of his old bruises, breaks and cuts. Riku hissed as he curled up in the corner opposite to the latrine. He closed his mouth and set his eyes into a stony glare when he realized Zexion had lingered.

The boy was staring at him with his notebook closed, for once, and clutched to his chest. He didn't say a word and almost didn't look real with how still he stood. Riku _tch_ed and turned his back.

"I wonder," Zexion finally said, his voice echoing off the claustrophobic cell walls and seeming very fitting in the damp mood of the area, "what secrets are you hiding?"

Riku ignored him and concentrated very hard on it too. Riku was actually very lucky that Axel had flown off the handle when he did in his first questioning because Zexion had gotten to him then. It was unnerving how the boy only had to whisper at his doorstep and could be heard in his attic. If he didn't want that to happen now then he should just shut his windows and blinds and lock the doors. Maybe he could ever turn off the power for a couple hours, his body needed the sleep.

"I still cannot yet answer the questions Xemnas wishes to have answered the most. Let it be known to you that it is my goal to seek knowledge and if anyone is to extract answers from you it will be me. I know the most about you since I have been watching you for over a month now, on Saix's orders of course."

Riku's nose rose at that but he tried not to sound too interested as he said, "Saix? Aren't you Marluxia's understudy? Or is future head of the Information Sector not good enough for you?"

"Marluxia has not turned up any useful information since his renowned questioning of Leon, and we both know the consequences of that," Zexion concurred in a logical tone. "Saix was concerned that other occupations were vying for his time and employed me. Perhaps Marluxia is tired as well, seeing as it did not take me long to discover your identity, a task that my superior should have accomplished in half the time it took me. That is, if Marluxia had been devoted only to that task."

"Congratulations on stalking a bedridden boy," Riku said before turning over again and letting the silence between Zexion's speech lull him to sleep. "You're a real hero."

"I am not a hero. I do not aim to be one. My only aim is to stay alive and thrive when and where I can," Zexion paused and Riku started drifting off faster. He was beginning to dream about Sora when Zexion's voice licked at his ear for a final time. So gently he whispered through the bars, "It is sad for you that my doctrine will not ring true for your closest friends."

Riku's sores ached as he scrambled to his feet, blinded by turbulent emotions. He opened his mouth to demand an explanation, but the weasel was gone.

Riku hobbled over to the bars and pressed his face to them in an attempt to look down the corridor. Zexion was nowhere to be seen and so, with a hammering heart, Riku returned to the gloom of his corner to fidget.

He must have dozed off for a second as Zexion walked away. Riku scratched at the base of his skull as he tried to decide whether Zexion had been bluffing or telling the truth.

He sighed and took his hand away from his neck before he left scrapes on his own skin.

It was hard to tell with Zexion and the most likely answer was the bastard was playing with him. He had likely been attempting to gage Riku's feeling or get in his head just to loosen a couple screws. It was just as likely that he knew how Riku felt and was giving him a warning which Riku had to _fucking_ sleep through – he shook his hand off his neck and let his anger carry it to the wall. Riku shook out his fist and grimaced at how the air stung the raw skin.

* * *

><p>Hours later and Riku was sleeping fitfully and Demyx's nattering didn't ease his frustration.<p>

"It's so cold," Demyx chattered as he held himself and bounced before the cell. "I bet it's gonna snow. I hope I don't have any missions to do outdoors tomorrow."

Riku thought about saying that the cement floor was even colder so Demyx could just knock it off with the complaining. His spirits were low though and he didn't have the energy to chew him out. He hadn't eaten that day and the past couple days he hadn't eaten much. He was worried about Zexion's plans and worried for Sora's sake. Also, he suspected the soup Xaldin had slid and sloshed through the bars to be the lukewarm dishwater from the last soldiers' meal.

Sora was his light in the distance and he wanted to get back to its warmth again, for the most part. He felt guilt for leaving, for siding with the monsters, acting like one and, after an inspection of his body prompted by a deep pain in his ribs, he believed he was starting to look like one. When he was sure no Organization soldiers were around to gloat at his pain, Riku had carefully lifted his shirt to get a look at his rib cage. When Lexaeus had thrown him in there last he had landed funny on his side and like throwing a cracked vase into the garbage Riku worried that maybe the fracture had become a break. He wasn't able to tell if the rib was broken or not, all his ribs looked lumpy and discoloured. He also had scars from where boot buckles had cut him and he hadn't noticed until now that his chest heaved pathetically.

He let his shirt fall but rolled up his sleeves to see the damage there. Some of his finger tips had turned black and lost sensation. The cut Vexen had made on his arm wasn't healing well, the cold kept it from truly closing and his one shoulder seemed to sit a little higher than the other.

Riku rolled his sleeves down and put his face in his hands as he gently rocked himself on the floor. He skin felt like it was hanging on to his face and it had bumps, indents and scrapes all over. He felt the latrine looked prettier than him. Everyone expected a latrine to look like shit. How could he return to Sora like this? This wasn't heroic, he was disgusting.

Walking to Sora's light seemed ridiculous after he had gotten a good feel for his body now. To stand again in the light with his body and self crafted by the Organization would just be another form of torture. Still, he feared being far in the dark and seeing Sora's light flicker and go out. Maybe Riku could be a gargoyle.

With a shaky laugh Riku took his hands away from his face and realized he had been crying. So now he could cry, over _himself_? How selfish and how stupid he was.

When he heard Demyx approaching with his grumbles about the cold, the tears stopped and he had pretended to be asleep. It was hard to pretend or legitimately sleep now as Demyx tried to create more warmth by flapping his lips.

Demyx must of heard Riku stir for his talk became less commentary and more conversational.

"It was pretty busy around here today. All of the General's top soldiers were back at base. Zexion said that there was also some big meeting for the most senior officers. He was really happy that he got to go to it and I was happy for him, or maybe I was just glad I _didn't_ have to be there. Man, that would be boring. Still," Demyx sniffed and said thoughtfully, "I guess it's an honour to go to things like that, be in the presence of the guys who run the show or even be one of them. I can see why I wasn't invited. If I was in charge of running the war we would probably have lost long ago. I guess that's why Xemnas is the leader and why all the others, Saix, Marluxia, Lexaeus, Vexen-"

"Starving Riku of sleep is a good prep for questioning, however, you may want to plan out your articulations before simply opening your mouth," Saix said as he approached.

"Oh! Saix, I mean sir. Sorry, sir," Demyx stumbled. He chuckled nervously as he admitted, "I ramble when I'm tired."

"You ramble as you breathe, soldier," Saix said coolly to which Demyx chuckled awkwardly.

Riku heard the door unlock and slide open. He raised his head to give Saix the briefest acknowledgement and a sneer. The moon winked as the bars slid back across it. The door banged closed.

"I have something I would like to discuss with you," Saix said with delicate insinuation to Riku.

In reply he rolled over and fixed icy eyes on the man before him. If it had something to do with what Zexion had hinted at then it was worth listening to. Saix blinked his appreciation for Riku's attention. Demyx stood uncertainly in the background, not sure if he should be hanging around while Xemnas' second in command spoke with his former student and prisoner.

"Zexion has spoken to me about your disobedience and unwillingness to talk. I am not surprised, you were a quiet pupil," Saix paused, maybe a little uncertain about the words he wanted to say. "You disclosed as much about yourself to me as I did to you. It is what you disclosed that has damned you. Turn out your shirt pocket."

Riku blinked and hoped that his face only revealed tiredness and none of the wariness he felt. Riku slowly and stiffly did as Saix asked, revealing his empty pocket and feeling like he was presenting his heart to a wolf. Saix's eyes flickered briefly over the pocket with no emotion then back to Riku's face.

"You know what I am looking for, correct?" Saix asked him.

"I could probably make a successful stab in the dark," Riku said guardedly and let his coat cover him again.

Saix chuckled and it reminded Riku of the hollow _thunk_ knocking on ice made when the creek by Sora's farmhouse froze over.

"When you served me you were much more refined. How far those days seem now," Saix said as he looked over Riku's battered body.

Riku crossed his arms over his chest while drawing his coat tighter around him. His slow breathing drew a veil of steam before him but Saix's yellow eyes glowed through it.

"Stand up," Saix ordered and took a step back.

Riku grunted as he bent forward painfully, his rib hurting quite a bit as he got his feet beneath him. He furtively stole a glance at Demyx, wondering if the boy had any clue what Saix was talking about and if he did know then if he would come forward and admit to destroying the photo. Or did he ever destroy it? Riku had never asked because he tried not to think about the things lost to him and if he did then he thought of the people and not the things he had lost.

Demyx's face looked sad and not guilty, and his fidgety actions seemed to be caused by his uncertainty of what to do. He took to take a couple steps forward and then a couple steps back while wringing his unloaded gun.

Riku used the wall to help himself up and wobbled as he gained balance.

Saix watched him struggle just to stand and remarked coldly, "The Organization stands tall and firm. Diz has left you no choice but to stumble on alone. Do you feel regret for choosing his side?"

"No, not after everything you've shown me. And by the way, it's really pathetic if the only reason you're so for the Organization is if you have some vendetta against Diz," Riku said, slipping into his own cold sneer.

"I suppose that is one way to exemplify a pathetic state. I could think of another example that is glaring me in the face," he said with a cool nod at Riku.

Riku gritted his teeth and looked away ashamedly.

"Perhaps someday you will see that man for what he truly is, Ansem the pathetic man who breeds pathetic cowards. It is a pity that you were not truly on our side. You had potential here and all the pain you and your friends suffered would have been worth it had you joined us."

Saix turned for the door, leaving Riku to stand unsteadily while seething at his feet.

"No," Riku said firmly, causing Saix to halt in his way towards the door, "No, I don't think it is a pity. I didn't want to become just like you and as I did I felt worse about everything. Whatever is between you and Diz should have nothing to do with other people. You're only ruining people's lives like how Diz apparently ruined yours."

Saix's ear turned away and he spoke calmly to Demyx. The next thing Riku knew was agonizing pain in his left leg. The pain came on even stronger as Saix nearly splintered the rifle's butt on his knee again.

Obviously Riku screamed and his voice was joined by Demyx's shriek of surprise.

The bashing was over once a squelching crack was heard under the whack of the gun on his leg. His wrists also stung from falling back on them while Saix broke his leg. When he was done, he swiftly walked over to Demyx and passed the rifle back through the bars. Demyx really didn't want to take it and once it was back in his hands he held it limply and far from his body.

Riku had his fingers squeezing out their blood as they gripped just above his knee where a dark spot formed on his pants.

Saix's head blocked out the moon and cast odd shadows on his cold features. Looking at him no one would have been able to tell he had just broken another man's leg with how calm he appeared.

Riku breathed heavily through his teeth and shook with the pain as Saix spoke to him.

"I expect you to have enough intelligence to understand when I say that your words have no connection to the new state of you leg. I am not stirred to act out of emotion as you are. That," Saix said pointing to Riku's knee, "is strictly business. You cannot be allowed to walk out of here."

Riku panted, spittle flying from his lips as he tried to speak. Saix seemed to understand nonetheless.

"Zexion may only have hunches and no names, but I trust his deductions. You have friends inside the Organization that are covering for you and I believe they will try to set you free," Saix said as he opened the door, walked out and closed it. He gave Riku one last chilling stare before saying as he departed, "Let them try to release a bird with a broken wing."

* * *

><p>Ever since Axel and his Organization friends had stormed the hospital, Kairi had become mistrustful and sometimes prone to bouts of sadness. The door would bang open with a new arrival and Kairi would go stiff or she would see people running down the hall towards her and she couldn't breathe. Along with her sadness and fear she felt anger; she was frustrated that Naminé seemed to have no problem coping with what had happened, and was further frustrated with herself because she had done nothing to help Riku. He was on his knees before her then bagged and dragged and she had done nothing.<p>

When she and Naminé found a couple hours in the early morning to sleep, the nurse girl would put her hand on Kairi's shoulder and tell her it was okay to feel scared. What had happened was horrible and made even more so because they could have done nothing that wouldn't have cost them less than their lives. Kairi would shrug under Naminé's hand and through frowning lips ask her if she really thought doing nothing was the best option and if it was, then what kind of medics were they? Even the dead had their pulses checked and wounds covered and then were buried.

Kairi would then roll over and away from Naminé and feel the tears roll from her closed eyes. No, she had failed Riku, the children in the room, Sora who she had been too afraid to visit, and especially herself. She had been happy and confident when she was the town's good neighbour and schoolgirl, but as a medic she was scared and uncertain. Her hands had never gained Naminé's precision and she still flinched at wartime sounds. She really wondered how timid Naminé could adapt to this life and carry her friend when Kairi would be crumbling in the grey streets without her. Worse, Kairi would probably be like the women she picked off the streets that now spent their days trembling and curled in the corners of hospital rooms. Those women were inconsolable and couldn't take care of themselves anymore, men too of course but Kairi only saw the women. The orphanage had gained a couple orphans from the mental illnesses running rampant through their minds.

"Kairi," Naminé said as a warning that she was entering the room.

Kairi didn't turn around as she continued to offer food and medication to the trembling women. Some accepted her aid with furtive smiles while others shrank away and seemed to see demons behind her. Naminé put her hand on Kairi's shoulder, stopping her from almost force feeding a young woman. She took the tray from Kairi's hand and spun her around. Naminé gave her a smile while Pence stood a little farther back, trying to give her a smile too.

"Kairi, Pence was sent by Diz to collect a report on how the hospital is functioning. I thought you could go with him to give the report firsthand and to check up on Aerith and the children," Naminé said gently.

Kairi surveyed Naminé as she tried to decide whether this was Naminé's legitimate concern for the people at the schoolhouse or if she thought this excursion may be helpful to Kairi. It was most likely a mix of both; Kairi didn't doubt that a note signed off by herself and a couple bottles of cold medication would suffice, but Naminé probably thought the calmness of the schoolhouse and the easy task would soothe her.

She wasn't sure how to feel about being doctored by her friend, after all, they had gone through the very same event.

Her throat tightened and her eyes keep glancing at the floor as she said, "Naminé, I don't know if I should go. What if I'm needed and-"

"Kairi," Naminé cut in lightly as her friend's frown deepened. Naminé nodded to Pence who left the room with a polite mumble. She turned back to Kairi who was pawing at her eyes and fixing a determined look onto her face by patting her cheeks and brushing her bangs back.

"You know, sometimes the best way to help yourself is to help others," Naminé said, "I think you should go with Pence and do some good for people who are able to show you gratitude."

"It's not gratitude I want. I just..." Kairi's hands opened and closed while her mouth chewed over words she didn't know how to say.

"Maybe you don't want it but maybe you need it," Naminé said and took a deep breath before saying, "I think you need to remember that everything you do here is helpful and that the things that don't work out are often out of your control. You can't pull a bullet out of someone's heart and expect it to beat, but you can make scared children happy. They deserve that and so do you. So...please, Kairi, go."

"But this is different – it was different. Riku was still so alive but what about now?"

"Neither of us knows for sure," Naminé murmured sadly and her eyes glazed, "but if we do have the chance to help him then we will do so. For now, we should do what we can here. For him."

Kairi met Naminé's eyes with furrowing brows as she took in what Naminé had said. Slowly her frown softened and her eyes brimmed with tears again as she fell forward into Naminé's arms. After squeezing each other tight and brushing mutual teary eyes, they let go and fixed happier expressions on their faces.

"I guess I should go get a couple things ready and meet Pence," Kairi said as she brushed down her uniform and straightened her spine. Naminé nodded as she pulled back her own bangs and gave Kairi's hair a final comb with her fingers.

By the time Kairi left the room her eyes were clear again and her face had returned to its normal peachy tinge. She was on her way to tell Pence she would go with him when someone caught her eye. His presence actually made her stop in shock and it took her a moment to understand what she was seeing and how odd it was. Roxas was walking down the hospital's hallway peering into rooms and looking about himself like he knew he wasn't welcome there. There was a stoop in his step and stress in his expression, but what really stopped Kairi's feet was the clothing Roxas was wearing. The khaki coloured uniform and the little golden crown on his hat and chest drove Kairi's surprise and suspicion to heights closer to the sun than the ground. She had to check herself and was glad for Naminé's pep talk before or else she may have raised the alarm on one of her best friends. She had to remind herself that Roxas was her friend and not just Axel's boyfriend. Roxas wasn't a blond, blue eyed mask for the red haired Organization soldier. He was his own person who loved his brother and wouldn't condone Axel taking Riku hostage.

Kairi reached out her hand and tried not to sound mistrustful as she said, "Roxas? What's going on?"

"Kairi!" Roxas said shocked but his wariness became ecstasy as he recognized her. "This is great! Look, I really need your help."

He bumped against her in his excitement as medics passed in the narrow halls. She tried to keep the suspicious frown off her face as she said, "Roxas, I don't understand. Why are you in that uniform? Where did you even get it?"

"Ah, that's kind of long story," he said as the stress from before Kairi had put a hand on his shoulder came back to him. At her uncertain look he continued, "and I can explain it to you but can I talk to Naminé first? I need her help."

"I don't know if that's a good idea," Kairi said, her hand sliding along her hip to a knife stuck in her belt. True the knife was meant for surgical reasons but a knife was a knife.

"Please, Kairi?" Roxas pleaded, reaching out with both his hands to take one of hers. Kairi's other hand, the one traveling for her knife, stopped as she noticed how red Roxas' eyes were becoming. His hands gripped Kairi's like a drowning man and he had to use his shoulder to wipe the one stray tear from his eye. He shook his head and said determinedly, "Please. Sora's sick and Riku never came back. We've been waiting for weeks and I tried coming yesterday but they wouldn't let me in, so I borrowed Riku's uniform - "

"Riku's uniform?" Kairi said dumbfounded. Her hand moved from her knife belt to ghost along Roxas' shirtfront, not quite daring to touch it. Kairi shook herself and her eyes became fixed on Roxas'. "Sora's sick?"

"Yeah," he sighed tiredly and shook his head, "it started with his wound but now he's caught a cold or something."

"You mean the bullet wound?" she asked incredulously, "That was like a month ago. It should be healed by now."

"Yeah, well, Sora got upset when Riku said goodbye and tore it open and the infection got in again. Can we see Naminé now?" Roxas asked, peeking around Kairi to see if Naminé was in the room behind them.

Kairi wasn't sure whether she felt angry or sorry for Roxas. In the end she believed the best of him he kept in the light and the worst of him was kept in a dark so thick not even Roxas could see his faults. She led him down the hall to what used to be the principal's office but was now mainly a storage area. Naminé was there, dolling out pills to other nurses and scribbling on her clipboard.

"Roxas?" Naminé blinked at first not believing it was actually him. She moved around the counter with quick steps to stand before him. Her hands came up to his face, lightly touching his cheeks before falling to cover her O-shaped mouth. "Roxas!"

Kairi stepped further back to give Naminé room to wrap her arms around their weary friend. Her suspicions of Roxas died when the mock soldier bent to encase Naminé. After a moment where Kairi couldn't see but was sure Naminé was in tears, the two broke apart and Roxas gently brushed the blonde girl's bangs and tears from her face.

"Naminé, I need your help. I don't know where Riku went and seeing as you two," Roxas looked from Naminé to Kairi, both girls' frowning, "don't look happy when I mention him, I guess he's missing. Sora really needs your help, Naminé."

"Of course," Naminé replied with a withered smile. She shared a quick look with Kairi that promised they would not mention or mourn Riku in front of Roxas. There were too many things that they didn't know and too many complicated relationships that were probably already sour but may curdle to poison if they meddled. Naminé took Roxas' hand and led him further into the supply closet, Kairi following silently behind.

Kairi asked about Sora's wound, how it looked, whether it was bleeding or smelled, and as Roxas supplied answers Naminé supplied medication. The girls were hesitant to give Roxas specific medicine for Sora's sickness so they supplied simple antibiotics along with healthy foods. Kairi also gave Roxas extra tourniquets when she learned of the rags he had been dressing Sora's wound in. They loaded a duffle bag with all the supplies.

"Thanks, guys. I really needed this. I-it's been hard," Roxas smiled weakly as he shrugged the bag over his shoulder.

"Hey, if I had known how bad Sora was I would have driven my jeep over to your farmhouse and braved the Organization's bullets," Kairi said with an overly bright grin. She felt guilt for her unwillingness then and now to help Sora, and for not believing in Roxas' good intentions. Her voice wavered slightly but Roxas didn't seem to notice as she said, "Sora's one of my best friends and I owe Riku so much."

Kairi looked down at her boots glumly and scolded herself for mentioning Riku.

"You know..." Roxas said slowly, drawing both girls' gazes. "You know, Sora says that he thinks Riku's still alive."

"Yeah?" Kairi asked, hope in her voice as she sniffled.

Roxas nodded.

"Yeah. He says Riku's still out there. And it's the same for Axel. I haven't seen him in over a week but I know he's out there. He'll come back," he said with a chuckle.

Kairi and Naminé shared a worried look while Roxas seemed preoccupied with happy future thoughts. They didn't say a word about how twisted things were now, how Roxas' idea about Riku and Axel coming home would bring happiness to all. Kairi believed there was a lot to forgive on Axel's part. She certainly didn't forgive Roxas' boyfriend for capturing Riku and she was his good friend, not his boyfriend. When Sora found out about Axel's part in Riku's disappearance wouldn't he want some justice?

Kairi wrapped her squirming arms around her chest as she watched Roxas leave the hospital. And what would he do? Would he hate Axel or defend him?

Kairi turned to speak to Naminé when she realized her friend had been staring at her already. No words came to her and her mouth closed.

"Maybe I should tell Pence you're going to be busy this afternoon," Naminé said as she turned around and began walking up the hall.

"Naminé?" Kairi asked tentatively, worried that her friend was angry with her for wanting to find out as much about Roxas, Sora and Riku's situation as possible.

Naminé glanced over her shoulder and there was no trace of anger on her gentle features. She nodded Kairi on and said with a laugh, "Just go and do what you need to."

* * *

><p>Roxas hadn't even left sight of the hospital when Kairi caught up to him. Her friend was just about to head towards the worst part of town with no weapons and a soldier's uniform on. A little irked that he thought he could walk through the streets with nothing to protect himself, she tied a medic's band around his arm. Her stomach stilled roiled with unease as she looked at him. Even with the band Roxas could still get hurt. The Organization had just stormed the hospital after all, they probably wouldn't even be worried about trying to cover up a medic's death.<p>

After some deliberation, Kairi offered to drive Roxas the safest route out of the town. Maybe during the drive she could find a time to ask and to say what she felt she needed to. All through the drive though she was tense and Roxas sat in the passenger seat with grimness greying his face. She could ask all the questions about what Roxas would do when Axel and Riku came back. She didn't want to give anything away when it wasn't her place but she still wanted to know what Roxas would do when he found out what Axel had done. She kept telling herself that she would ask Roxas something at the decimated grocery store, then at the bent street sign, then at the stretch of burnt land, but her throat wouldn't open and the ride ended sooner than she thought.

A blockade was set up in her path and she couldn't get her jeep around it. She parked a couple metres from it and cleared her throat as she turned to Roxas. The misgivings and anxiety the ride had worked up in her turned to a bittersweet smile as she caught sight of Roxas' face. He looked just as worried as her and now he was smiling. They reached over, Roxas laughed when his seatbelt pulled him back so he undid it and completed the hug.

"God, I don't know what to say, Roxas. I think I should just say everything on my mind but that would take forever. I guess..."Kairi let go of Roxas with her one arm and wiped at hers. "I guess the most important things to say are watch out and make it back to Sora okay, and take care of him. Both of you take care. Y-you boys can be s-such _idiots_."

She meant all she said and the questions that pressed their noses against the front of her skull and tried to squeeze past her lips settled down and turned their tail ends now. What she had managed to say before her voice broke up was the main message she wanted to get across. She loved her friends no matter where they were or whose wing they were under.

"Yeah, I know," Roxas murmured into her hair. He squeezed her tight once more and they released. Roxas opened the door and twisted to bark teasingly, "Straighten up, soldier. Save the tears for Riku's homecoming and Sora's return to good health."

Kairi gave a watery laugh as she pawed at her eyes. Roxas hopped from the jeep and the moment his feet touched the ground the snow started falling, as did the bullets.

* * *

><p>Riku sat in the corner of his cell with a hand draped over his face and his broken leg stretched out before him. He had discovered after nearly biting through his lip from the pain that he could move his leg a little so it wasn't entirely broken. He was still in immense pain and his daydreams about Marluxia setting him free sat with him in the shadows of his cell. He spent the entire night and morning in the same position.<p>

Around noon Vexen came by his cell with a sneer on his face before he even opened the door. Riku looked out from under his hand briefly to see Vexen set a first aid kit on the floor by his injured knee. Neither of them said a word as Vexen cut Riku's pant leg open up to his knee. He made a disgusted noise as he caught sight of the mess beneath the fabric. Riku didn't bother looking at this wound; the physical pain was bad enough without the emotional pain of realizing this was his leg and this was his life caged or free.

The muscles in his leg flinched as Vexen cleaned the wound and in their flinching brought on more pain. Vexen's dressing ability was better than Riku could do but he seemed irked to be kneeling in the prisoner's presence. When a strong breeze blew through the bars of Riku's cell's window and twisted the simple tourniquet Vexen was putting in place, he stopped dressing Riku's wound and got angrily to his feet.

"Honestly I don't know why the superior left me with this task," he complained while Riku ignored him. "I'm a senior officer of the Information Sector not a simple nurse. If he was more prudent he would have respected my rank and experience and have had one of the nurses perform this procedure. Or Zexion for that matter. Just because Zexion manages to bring you in Xemnas sees fit to raise his rank and turn to him for information and advice. And I swear Marluxia only employs that boy to irk me. He doesn't keep Zexion like an actual apprentice. He pawns him off on me to train. On _me!_ The flattery is quite lost in the task. I'm not bothering with your wound," Vexen said as he shook a finger at Riku, "No, we'll get on with the questioning and you can just suffer or give me some legitimate answers."

Riku looked to Vexen whose usually pale face was a glowing red. Through his pain he smirked at how ridiculous the scientist looked. As he lowered his gaze he caught sight of someone standing just outside of his cell, but he couldn't make out who it was since Vexen was standing in his line of vision. With a _clang_ the door opened and Vexen whirled around to see who was there. Vexen's back tensed and then relaxed as he got over his initial surprise and greeted Marluxia tensely.

"Marluxia," Vexen said with a curt nod.

"Vexen," Marluxia said smoothly. There was no malice in his voice as he said, "I believe you have a job to be doing."

Vexen turned to look at Riku's leg and as he did so Riku was able to see Marluxia's face. The man looked as composed as ever but a quick glance told Riku to be prepared.

"You wish for me to continue bandaging the prisoner's leg?" Vexen asked incredulously and snorted at the task. "I hardly see the point seeing as you will only be brutalizing him again."

"I wasn't the one to break his leg. I find this detrimental to my cause. Bandage his leg, Vexen."

"_Your_ cause?" Vexen asked scandalized. "That sounds a little...presumptuous, _sir_."

Marluxia took a couple steps forward and Vexen took several back, so many so that he nearly stepped up onto Riku's leg. Marluxia grabbed hold of Vexen's arm and drew the man close to his placid face.

In tones chillier than the snow falling in from the window, Marluxia said, "Bandage his wound, Vexen, or you will be degraded further."

Fearing the hand Marluxia had hidden under the flap of his coat, Vexen did as he was told. He hissed spitefully and fearfully about his task but worked steadily. When he was done Vexen turned to Marluxia on his knees and had his hands halfway raised into a praying gesture when Marluxia struck him to the ground them whipped his gun out from under his coat and knocked Vexen unconscious. The scientist fell onto his face and Marluxia stepped over him to offer a hand to Riku. He grabbed hold but even with the help it was hard to stand without gasping.

"Yes, that is unfortunate but the time to act was not last night but now while Xemnas and his best officers are preoccupied," Marluxia said in response to Riku's groan. "Unfortunately Larxene was also called into action and so she is being put in considerable risk for you. If we are unsuccessful and she is caught in any form of disloyalty to the Organization while in Twilight Town she will be imprisoned if not shot on sight. Yet she cannot risk being a part of today's mission if we wish to be granted amnesty."

"And you couldn't have come sooner?" Riku asked as he limped towards the door with Marluxia pulling him onwards.

"As I said, it is at this moment that Xemnas is in Twilight Town on a vital operation to the Organization, although the operation will mean less with your removal. For Axel it is a true pity."

"Xemnas has actually gone to Twilight Town?" Riku asked in amazement.

Marluxia nodded and said, "He believes he has found a way to unlock your jaw."

Riku stopped so suddenly they both almost toppled over. With a little impatience Marluxia attempted to pull Riku onward but he refused to move. He met Marluxia's cool gaze with a glare and asked from the corner of his mouth, "Is Sora in Twilight Town? Was he transferred to the hospital there?"

"No," Marluxia said, pulling Riku onward, "Sora is at home in bed last I heard."

"Then who is Xemnas after?" Riku snarled as his leg wobbled from Marluxia's tugging. Pain blossomed in his kneecap and tendrils stemmed up his thigh and down his calf.

"There is nothing you can do, Riku," he said far more gently than his pulling.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means that whether the operation was a success or a failure it doesn't matter to us. It is done now."

* * *

><p>Kairi had screamed Roxas' name the moment the gunfire started. Whether he heard she didn't know, and with the soldiers surging forward she doubted he had much choice but to be swept along. She sat in her jeep, hearing the bullets nip at the hood as she sat like a startled rabbit inside its warren. When one broke through her window and buried itself into the passenger seat she was jolted into action. She nearly left some of her fingers on the wheel as she threw herself out the door and ran the way she thought Roxas had disappeared.<p>

Bullets whizzed past and windows burst every now and again but she pressed on and ducked when she had to.

As she rounded a corner she truly believed the world was now standing on its head. Two Organization members were grappling in the alleyway. Neither was Riku so she couldn't understand the reason for treason at a dangerous time like this.

"You're a fucking idiot!" the girl screamed, the girl from the hospital. Another large Organization soldier grabbed the girl who had been a part of Riku's capture from behind. She was as feisty as ever though and managed to get her legs planted on the wall. She pushed off the alley wall and slammed her captor into the opposite bricks. He staggered and she made to run in Kairi's direction. When the Organization soldier caught sight of Kairi she swore and, instead of going for her gun, turned around and made to zigzag unsuccessfully past the other soldier. She howled something about everyone being idiots and about Axel and his dumb, blond kid...

"Roxas? Roxas? Do you know where Roxas is?" Kairi asked as she sidled up beside the infighting soldiers.

"He's gonna get his fucking head blown off!" she screamed as she writhed in the big man's grasp. She whipped her head to the side as she said, "The idiot ran towards them."

Kairi had her doubts about the girl's directions, especially with the memories she had of her already. Still, Kairi bolted down the indicated way, putting some distance between them even if this was the wrong way.

The girl's scream followed her down the street eerily, "You fucking bitch! You could have helped me!"

"Payback is a bitch!" Kairi shrieked over her shoulder and didn't look back after that.

Kairi ran through smoke and banged into other people who may have very well been with the Organization. She definitely saw black cloth flapping in the debris and snow. She collided with some faces she did know and was almost stopped as Hayner tried to grab a hold of her.

"Kairi! Hey! You shouldn't be here," he yelled after her as she knocked him flat on his ass and kept running. He got to his feet and pounded after her.

She was out of breath and so Hayner caught up with her eventually. He grabbed her arm and she cried out when he made her stop.

"I can't let you go that-"

"You don't understand!" Kairi yelled in his face making him stumble backwards. A window across the street shattered and they both ducked. Kairi cut him off before he had the chance to start yelling for her to get out of there. "Hayner, it's difficult to explain and I don't have time, but Roxas is here and he's in trouble. I'm going before he gets hurt."

"Kairi, wait – Damn it!"

Kairi bolted and continued on until the gunfire sounded far off. Her heart sank as she believed she had been misled. The street she was coming upon seemed quiet and deserted. As she came to a stop dismally at the head of the road a lone figure limping down the street caught her eye. She knew him to be Roxas when she saw the duffle bag she and Naminé had prepared for him. Her heart wrenched when she saw him limp and heard him cry out something. She opened her mouth to call to him but was stunned to silence when a series of guns were fired from somewhere just behind her.

She whirled around screaming, "STOP IT!" not caring if the people behind her were with the Twilight Town Regiment or not.

Hayner was behind her, along with a couple other soldiers he must have gathered. He gave her a disbelieving look and pointed down the street, past Roxas.

"Kairi, can't you see who's down there?" he asked.

She was about to tell him that he was an idiot for shooting anywhere near Roxas when she heard what her friend was crying out.

"AXEL!" Roxas screamed as he waved his arms, his white medic's band in hand trying to flag down a tall figure standing behind a decimated wall.

Kairi recognized Axel's bright red hair, and he seemed to be yelling something back at Roxas but Kairi was too far away to tell what. She could see the gun in his hand though.

"It's Axel. Oh my God, he's aiming it at Roxas!" Kairi panicked. She bolted forward only to be wrenched backwards by arms hugging her waist. She cried out, "No! H-he's going to shoot him! He's going to shoot him!"

Hayner spoke over his shoulder as held Kairi in place, "Alright men, aim for the redheaded bastard."

Kairi shrieked as the others took aim at Axel but missed. She watched as Axel turned away from her and to look behind him. Another Organization soldier stood up from behind a felled mailbox just beyond Axel, but he was only up long enough to shoot a couple advancing Twilight soldiers before being shot himself.

The Twilight Town soldiers around Kairi gasped as their own men fell at the other end of the street, but Kairi screamed and tried to break away from Hayner. Even from this distance Kairi could tell that Axel was livid. When Axel pulled the trigger Kairi felt her cry rip out her throat with every hitch her taut vocal cords made. As she watched Roxas' body jerk with the several bullets that connected she fell to her knees but the fall felt so much farther.

Hayner finally let her go, probably in shock, and her entire body just dropped into the snow and mud. Hot tears poured over her cheeks as she opened her mouth and let it tremble close a couple times. She took in a deep breath that threatened to squeeze her heart between her two lungs and she found her voice.

"ROXAS!"

Not a second after she had screamed Axel echoed her and he threw himself over the broken wall and raced through gunfire to gather Roxas' body in his arms. Axel barked at everyone to stop shooting but even his own soldiers wouldn't listen. He tucked Roxas to his chest and sat them both in a doorway of a sagging house. While the gun battle went on Kairi could do nothing but sit in the street and stare at the patch of red snow where Roxas had been gunned down, and by the man who was now crying over his body.

The gunfire went on for another couple minutes before the Organization soldiers were ordered to retreat. As soon as they were gone, Kairi bolted blindly to the doorway where Axel was huddled with Roxas in his lap. She heard Hayner scream her name but he sounded far away with the blood pulsing in her ears. She held onto the hope that since Axel had his lips on Roxas' forehead then he must still be alive. His lips trembled against Roxas' forehead as tears rolled down his cheeks to freeze on Roxas' closed eyes.

Her pain, anger and disbelief that Axel would even try to make amends for what he had done erupted from her chest in a high pitched shriek.

"What the hell gives you the right to be here?"

Axel's only reply was to pull Roxas' body tighter to his own and tangle his fingers in her friend's blond hair.

Her eyes narrowed and she seethed, "You have _no right_ t-to be holding him. You did this! _You did this!_"

She expected him to yell at her like he had at the guns to stop attacking him, but in dull voice he said, "Yeah, I know."

His simple words were as numbing at the gentle snow frosting her hair. It looked like a difficult task for Axel to raise his head, his eyes kept falling back to Roxas.

In a choked voice he asked, "Why was Roxas here? Why in a uniform?"

"The uniform's Riku's," Kairi said with a lame gesture to her friend's body. Bitter tears leaked from her eyes as she added with a snarl, "Roxas had to get supplies because Riku isn't around to do it, in case you didn't know."

"Yeah, I deserve that," Axel said, attempting a smile but the corners of his mouth were weighed down.

Kairi understood how he felt, like the world would be like as it was now forever. The streets would always be covered in a dusting of snow that let the mud shine through and that there would be no sound or movement.

She cleared her throat and brushed her tears away as she said gently, "You deserve a lot more than that, Axel. You're under arrest by the way. Your comrades retreated while you – while you were with Roxas."

"Figures," Axel scoffed. Holding Roxas' body in his arms, Axel managed to stand up. Kairi backed up, wary of Axel but her gaze softened and she thought she'd dissolve to tears again when Axel awkwardly shrugged off his coat and draped it over Roxas. "Just don't want him to get covered in snow. Alright, take me away."

* * *

><p>"Tell me what that means," Riku snarled as he grabbed Marluxia by his coat's collar and wobbled before the other man's face.<p>

Marluxia weighed his options and decided that telling Riku the truth would be quicker than trying to drag him. He bargained with Riku and promised to tell him if they kept walking. Riku consented and as their feet started moving so did Marluxia's mouth.

"Xemnas wants you to talk and Zexion has deduced that the key to getting you to talk is to bring in Sora and threaten to, if not actually, torture him before you," Marluxia said collectedly and he ignored Riku's disgusted grunt.

"I thought this mission wasn't about Sora."

"It is about him but doesn't involve him. This mission is about gaining Axel's undivided loyalty and eliminating him as an opposing force. I'm sure you've heard that he is one of the General's favourites?" Marluxia chuckled as he said, "He, like you, is a very good soldier and could be a destructive force to the Organization all in his own right."

"Okay, I get it," Riku snapped, severely disliking being likened to Axel, "battling is what we were born for, but what has happened that could make Axel loyal only to the Organization? Isn't he the perfect soldier already?"

"He has the potential to be except for his unpredictability and unruliness. You know this firsthand; Axel was the only soldier to oppose your torture."

"Yeah, the sting in my side won't let me forget," Riku said, hissing as his rib stung while he walked.

Marluxia ignored his comment and said as they hobbled to the end of the corridor, "Saix suggested they subdue Axel by breaking him. Saix seems to understand that Axel will feel regret more than anything else and that he will continue to fight for the Organization because it will be the only thing he has left. His home is here as are all of his friends."

"Yeah, except for..." Riku's voice died. His throat went dry as he said the name questionably, "Roxas?"

"By now is dead," Marluxia murmured calmly, "and by Axel's own hand."

The image of Roxas laughing in the glow of the kitchen table's lantern while Sora gently snored in the living room came before Riku's eyes. Riku's mind stuttered and by the time he thought of something to say Saix had stepped around the corner before them with a cold grin on his lips. Marluxia opened his mouth, likely to explain why he was walking about with Riku, but his voice was cut off as Luxord and Xaldin crept up behind them and knocked them to the edge of consciousness. As if things were moving too fast or his eyes too slow, Riku saw Luxord lean over him and leer.

The bearded man's Cheshire-grin stayed with him as the background turned black and his words echoed, "Ace in the hole, gentlemen? I think not."


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer:** 30 Seconds to Mars owns this song. I own their cd. They own my heart. I say take it ha ha.

* * *

><p><strong>Closer to the Edge<strong>

**__**_I don't remember the moment I tried to forget_

_ I lost myself, is it better not said_

_Now I'm closer to the edge  
><em>

Despite being the only medical staff in the room when the Organization had taken Riku, the girls were the only personal to step up to the task of tending to Axel once he was behind bars. They each had separate reasons for wanting to see him. By the suspicious look Diz gave Naminé when she asked to tend to him, it was obvious that Diz still hadn't negated the idea that Naminé was a double agent. Kairi had had enough of emotional whiplash for the day and sent bruising words his way. Naminé was surprised by Kairi's sudden bundle of energy considering how uncertain she had been lately. She was further surprised by Diz who merely bowed his head in acceptance of Kairi's harshness. Naminé, though she couldn't write out the exact cause of the symptoms, believed that Diz's and Kairi's changes in attitudes were caused by similar feelings of guilt and loss.

When Diz dismissed them Naminé waved Kairi on and stayed behind to talk with Diz. Kairi had given her an odd look before shrugging and moving out of the room. Diz sat behind his desk, ignoring Naminé's presence until she was less than a foot from his desk. He looked up from the reports he was pouring over and looked down again with no change to his face.

When it became apparent Naminé wasn't leaving, he sighed, put down his reports and asked, "What is it?"

"Sir, I noticed that you seemed unwell," she said with a polite nod, "I thought there may be something I can do."

Diz stared placidly and then let out a dry snort of laughter.

"Your concern is rather inspiring. Or is it that you plan to give me poison to ease my suffering?"

Naminé's tightened on the edge of the desk as she said, "I don't know why you would say that. I've been nothing but helpful since I joined."

Again Diz laughed but less derisively. He shook his head as if scolding himself while he said, "You are right. It seems old hearts like mine have only tough tendons with no give for new blood. Thank you for your concern but there is no medicine that can heal what I have."

Naminé blinked and asked slowly, "Is it a disease?"

"I suppose something like the plague. It certainly blackens my life," Diz said offhandedly as he looked down at his paperwork again.

Naminé wasn't at all satisfied with that answer. She doubted he was actually sick but he was certainly tormented and she didn't believe it was over Roxas. Rumour was that when Diz received the news on Roxas' passing he had put his face in his hands and wept. Others said that with his face in his hand he shook his head and called Roxas a fool for putting his trust in Axel. And still others said he did both. Either way, Pence had reported that Diz's melancholy had started about a week ago and like a dog it followed Diz loyally and always seemed to sit at his feet. Naminé believed it had something to do with Riku and at the moment when it seemed the people she needed most to carry on the war were crumbling from their own degrading thoughts, she really thought it best to investigate before people just gave up.

As she searched for words to say her eyes caught sight of a folder on Diz's desk marked with the disappeared boy's name. She felt her suspicions were confirmed and, lightly, she asked, "Sir, do you believe Riku is still alive?"

Diz seemed unable to speak or move for a couple seconds before saying precisely, "His body hasn't turned up at the edge of town has it?"

"No, you would hear if that happened, but perhaps you have heard other information about him?"

"If I did it would be none of your concern."

"It would be because I'm his friend-"

"We are not having this conversation," Diz said firmly and he slapped a hand down on the folder before him. His eyes blazed as he said, "Knowing your origins you likely know what fate has befallen him. I wouldn't be surprised if you and your family came up with some of the concoctions he has been drugged with."

"But he is alive?"

Diz shoved the folder forward, sending pictures and reports flying as he barked, "Alive if you mean he still breathes and moves, but he is far from living the life he wanted. The life Leon and I envisioned him to lead. Take a look at what has been sent to me if you really must know."

Naminé refused to look down, she doubted the words or photos would do much to inspire hope. She did believe that just knowing he was out there and alive was enough for her to believe that he would be back.

Naminé backed away from Diz to rejoin with Kairi. Before she left she asked Diz if she could have permission to send a jeep to the farmhouse and retrieve Sora. Diz said she may do as she pleased considering they were likely to lose the war anyway.

* * *

><p>Kairi and Naminé walked down the hallway of barred cells with their footsteps echoing off the bare walls. The doors behind them closed the wind and snow away, but there was still a slight chill in the prisoner's quarters.<p>

They found Axel sitting miserably in his cell, his eyes red from tears and raw from the cold weather that dried them. Naminé found Axel's mourning truly sad and she felt tears of sympathy press at her own eyes. He had murdered her good friend, but he had also murdered his best friend and, according to the newly and dearly departed, had killed his reason for fighting. It did sting a little to realize that Axel had lost more today than anyone else, with the exception of perhaps Sora. She did pity the young man who cried openly before his enemies.

Kairi stepped forward to ring her fist on the bars and get Axel's attention. He lifted his head off his knees and he stared uncertainly at the girls.

"Are you hurt?" Kairi asked curtly. Naminé lowered her gaze. Kairi was furious and, perhaps, rightly so. Still, Naminé couldn't condone fury directed at a mourning boy. At the very least she couldn't condone disrespect for the dead and, by the way he had screamed Axel's name before his departure, she didn't believe Roxas hated Axel.

"If I said yes would you heal me?" Axel asked through a cracked voice.

Kairi's shoulders tensed as she fired back, "Of course, _we're_ not the Organization."

"Fair enough," Axel nodded. Naminé lifted her eyes at his consenting tone. She spied a tired smirk spread in the corner of his mouth. "So I guess the chances of you lining me up against a wall and shooting me are pretty slim, huh?"

Naminé frowned at Axel's dark joke while Kairi spat, "Your humour is as sick as your morals."

"Please, Axel, we just want closure. What happened to Riku?" Naminé asked, no accusations or blame in her voice. "Please."

"That...I'm not one hundred percent sure about," Axel said, rubbed the back of his neck uncertainly. To Naminé he seemed genuinely uncertain and not malicious. Maybe it was her remembrance of his kindness to her when she had gone to Hallow Bastion for supplies, but she saw him no darker than his sarcastic humour. He may have taken Riku but if he said he had been under orders she would believe him. Someone as free spirited as him probably wouldn't blame another for what his hands did; it would contradict who he was. Naminé sighed, _what a mess this all was..._

"What do you mean?" Kairi questioned worriedly.

"Just what I said; I have no idea what's happened to him in the last couple days."

"But before the last few days...are you saying he was alive until then?"

"Yeah," Axel laughed dryly, "That bastard just doesn't give up."

Kairi leaned forward, her hands came up to grip the bars with a white knuckled clasp.

"So he could be alive?"

"Maybe," Axel said with a shrug. Naminé thought he looked apologetic for being of no help.

"Why are you being so difficult?" Kairi asked in an anguished voice. Axel stared steadily and the sorriest parts of his eyes held sympathy for the young woman clinging to the cold bars . "Haven't you done enough? Isn't there enough blood on your hands? Or do you want to try and wash it off with other people's tears? I've had enough of this! Enough of you, enough of the Organization and enough of the war. Enough! No. More. Tricks."

"Kairi, it is Kairi, right? I feel you, babe. No, I seriously do," Axel said when Kairi scoffed. "I could say it a million different ways but you summed it up nicely. And it's not like my regretting will erase the past."

Naminé lowered her eyes along with Axel in memory of Roxas. After a sad and strained pause on Kairi's part, Naminé cleared her throat.

"Axel, I know you didn't want to hurt Roxas. I remember how you defended me just because Roxas was upset," Naminé said gently, her face touched with a subdued happiness at the memory. Axel looked up and said nothing. He tried a smile but the corners of his mouth wouldn't stay up and he ended up looking away bitterly.

Naminé tried not to sound too admonishing as she continued.

"The Organization gets its recruits young because you're still impressionable and you believe you're invincible. Even someone like you who doesn't let people mould him, can't help but be reformed anyway. I'm sorry but when you wear that uniform, you're not you. You're just another part of the Organization."

There was a brief silence where Axel's stomach seemed to ache for he curled forward and his shoulders shook like a nearly retching person. Then his head bobbed and he snorted out a laugh. The prison suddenly felt very small. All three occupants were stewing in their own brand of melancholy and in a shrinking container they mixed to one lump of cold understanding.

"Damn you're one smart girl, Naminé," Axel said with a weak grin. He got to his feet stiffly, swayed a little as he moved to lean against the bars. Naminé titled her head to to peer curiously up at Axel's face. She saw a strange light in his eyes just before he swiftly clamped a hand over Naminé's mouth and snaked his other around her tiny waist. She felt a jolt of fear so sharp because she thought he had been subdued; his wringing hands stung like betrayal.

Naminé let out a muffled sob while Kairi screamed for Axel to let her go.

Over the sea of emotions sloshing her mind and heart about, she heard Axel speak and as he spoke her tears of fright turned to ones of lament. In the dank prison, with her spine scrunched against the icicle-like bars, Naminé felt the heat of Axel's breath and the lively weight of his words in her ear. Even doused he still had so much vigorous personality to him and she understood why Roxas loved him. Axel burned in the hearth for Roxas; he really did love Roxas.

"Listen babe –Naminé, I mean. I'm in no position to be asking anyone for favours, but what you said rang a little bell – hell, it rang a gong and really, truly woke me up and kicked my pathetic ass out of bed. So I'm gonna ask you this," Axel paused to lick his lips after talking so fast. He sighed raggedly before asking in a strained voice, "I want to do something good for...well, good _by_ Roxas. I really, _really_ fucked up this time and I want to do something good in his name after – after what I did."

Naminé's lips trembled behind Axel's fingers which twitched and felt gentle with his remorse.

"So...how about I bring back one stubborn, but I _guess_, good life in exchange for you letting me bury Roxas' body where I choose," Axel whispered and as he spoke Naminé's eyes grew wide, "I'll set your boy Riku free and, ha, I guess I should tell you that I want Roxas buried by the creek by the farmhouse, in this nice, little glade. I think he'll like it; it's pretty like him. Do we have a deal, honey?"

Naminé could see Kairi fit to burst with either anger or tears. She had a couple choices but the option of setting Axel free seemed the most prominent. She didn't exactly trust him but she saw good in him and believed him to be honest. She also had promised to grab at whatever glimmer of hope she could find that may lead Riku home. Roxas was gone but there was a chance for rebirth in both Riku and Sora if Riku came back. Sora and Riku would heal quicker together and likely live twice as hard for the ones that were lost. And all he was asking in return was so simple in comparison...

Slowly Naminé nodded her head and Axel released her with whispered words of, "And that's a promise."

* * *

><p>Five minutes after Axel had run off into the beginnings of a blizzard, Kairi ran in the opposite direction to the mess hall tent with fear in her eyes. In ten seconds she was bounding through the snow again with an alarmed and angry mob of soldiers towards the prison quarters.<p>

She headed the stream of buzzing soldiers to the cell that had been Axel's, but was now housed by a bedraggled and weeping Naminé. She sat in the corner with skinned knees and dishevelled hair while the people gathered outside the cell. Kairi broke from the group and went to comfort her. Naminé turned her head into Kairi's shoulder and buried her smile in her friend's hair. Riku would be home soon.

* * *

><p>Sora hoped his brother would be home soon. He would drift off and wake up because he was in the midst of a chill or high fever, and during those times he would hear the house creak and believe it was his brother. He didn't hear the creaks lead anywhere and they sounded more like ghostly moans than footsteps.<p>

The next and final time Sora awoke during the night was because the temperature of the room had dropped due to the blizzard outside. He opened his eyes only to realize the room was too dark to see anything. The house groaned even more with the wind, but over the noise Sora swore he heard footsteps. He tried calling Roxas' name but he ended up coughing.

He lay in bed, a little afraid that there was someone in his house and that he, she or they, were neither his brother nor friendly. Roxas probably would have gone straight for Sora's room after kicking off his boots. This person seemed to be pacing Roxas' bedroom and, in a house so isolated and dark, Sora found the footsteps eerier than the whistling wind.

When the pacing became steps into the hall and then could be heard just inside his doorway, Sora's heart beat faster. In the darkness he could make out movement of someone who appeared to be very tall. He tried speaking again but either the person didn't hear or he wasn't interested in talking. The person put a hand on Sora's forehead then felt his pulse before letting out a low sigh of relief.

Sora was tired, sick and not altogether sure the person next to his bed was real, but if he was real or if this was a dream, then he thought he knew who this may be.

"Axel," Sora rasped and the person hesitated in whatever he was doing. Sora coughed and then asked, "Where's my brother?"

He received no reply and instead was hushed and lulled back to sleep by a gentle hand in his hair.

* * *

><p>They were lined up three in a row with Marluxia in the middle and Larxene and Riku on either side of him. They were divided by cement walls but Riku bet even Marluxia was slumped on the floor.<p>

It was the coldest night yet and every now and then the blizzard would kick snow into his window and it would land on his shoulders. Riku slapped a hand to his neck as the snow snuck down his collar.

All through the night he heard Marluxia and Larxene whispering, sometimes sadly, Larxene now and then angry, but Riku didn't doubt they reminisced. They had an odd relationship but both of them had gone so far into deceit for themselves and one another. Marluxia seemed to shoulder most of the blame for the situation considering he had come up with the plan. Riku buried his head in the hood of his coat to keep the chill and their words out.

When the sun rose the next morning they would all be lost to darkness. Riku had no one to whisper through the walls to but he kept Sora's image in his mind. He tried not to feel regret for his lost self, lost health and lost time and tried to remember him and Sora as children playing on the farm.

Despite the snow, the bruises, the little broken bones, the drag in his side and the lamenting whispers, the darkness did come for an hour or so.

* * *

><p>They came for Marluxia first. Riku looked up through his lashes with his head still bowed and watched the man be bagged and bound. Marluxia stumbled as Xaldin treaded on his heels and pushed him on. Larxene spat venomous words through the bars of her cell. By the trembling of her voice he guessed she was as scared as she was angry. He didn't quite feel sorry for her, not after what she had done to him, but he certainly didn't wish the Organization's wrath on her. He was torn between telling her she deserved this and saying in general that no one deserved this. He wondered bitterly if his old self would have taken the rough road of forgiveness.<p>

The sound went with Marluxia, except for Larxene's pacing to the beat of Riku's heart. After the sun had been up for a couple hours and the blizzard had calmed, Lexaeus and Xaldin returned for him and Larxene. Larxene fought her captor while Riku let Lexaeus pull him up and lead him out. Fighting would be pointless and painful. Riku was also reminded of Lexaeus' strength by the firm hand on his shoulder.

He was being led to a room he had never entered, likely because Riku had never been an executioner while undercover. He thought the next greatest shock of his life would be the sound of a gun, if he would hear the gun at all before the bullet entered him, but he felt a slight shock when he saw Axel standing outside the room. Something had changed in the boy. For one, he stood openly and maliciously leering down at Zexion. Riku wondered if Axel knew that Zexion had been one of the string masters in executing Roxas' death. Axel did look a little ruffled but more than anything he looked tired. His eyes and smirk had lost their sarcastic lustre and he appeared so worn, like he was a photo of a photo of a photo of himself. As he was ushered through the door he struggled again with his feelings of sympathy or bitterness. In the end he decided he pitied Axel.

Axel looked up as Riku passed and in the brief second he had to stare at the changed soldier, Riku thought he saw fear pale Axel's face. Perhaps it was because he held the executioner's gun and knew he was to kill Riku.

He limped into the room and stood in the corner with Lexaeus like a two ton guardian angel cemented to his side. Axel and Zexion joined Vexen and Luxord in the centre of the room. Marluxia was there as well and someone had pressed him for information already. His face was still covered and his chest heaved. The bag was removed from his head for a final questioning against a wall stained by blood and dented by bullets.

"Where are you taking me? Goddamn it, I'm still part of the Organization. Tell me!" Larxene snarled as she too was forced into the room.

"Larxene," Marluxia wheezed from his spot on the floor. Riku couldn't believe how changed the Organization could make a man in only a couple hours. He looked at least five years older than he was, pale and maybe a little crazed from the pain. Yet he still gently said, "Larxene, do not be afraid."

"I'm not fucking afraid, Marluxia!" she screeched, again struggled in Xaldin's grasp. Lexaeus stepped away from Riku and helped Xaldin to subdue her. Together, but with great difficulty, Lexaeus and Xaldin forced Larxene to kneel next to Marluxia. She bent to the floor with a heart-tearing scream. Riku wanted to look away, her fear or false bravado only made his heart weaker. He was glad Sora would never have to see any of this.

He watched Marluxia murmur to Larxene while the soldiers got themselves organized. Riku suspected Marluxia was trying to calm her while she stuck stubbornly to her anger. Grim as it was, Riku hoped that once the bullet had entered Larxene's head that she would have no further business on the living plane. He wouldn't wish her vengeful ghost on anyone, certainly wouldn't want her scorned shrieks to ring in the halls of the Information Sector.

Marluxia continued to whisper in her ear though she stared straight ahead, speaking soothingly until Luxord was ready for the final questioning. Riku really didn't want to witness what he had lived through, especially if it was the last thing he would see.

"I believe you know the rules, Marluxia," Luxord said in a regulatory tone. "I ask you a question and you supply an answer. If you supply a worthy answer I don't supply the possibility of a bullet to your knee. Do these rules sound fair?"

"I've already been pressed for answers, Luxord. I have nothing left to tell," Marluxia said steadily, looking past the nose of the gun and up at Luxord. Riku wondered if he had looked that composed when he had been in that position.

Without even a twitch in his expression, Luxord pulled the trigger and the room echoed with the thunder from the gun and Larxene's scream. Marluxia bent awkwardly over his knee, his shoulders heaved strangely what with his hands being bound behind his back.

"What the hell is wrong with you? He answered your question. He played your stupid game," Larxene spat at Luxord as he loaded another bullet into the gun. "You bastard! You shouldn't have-"

Without spinning the cylinder, Luxord pointed the barrel of the gun in Larxene's face, silencing her.

"When you prevented Lexaeus from ensnaring Roxas you shook the thin wire our missions treaded upon. Luckily Zexion's cunning and the General's perseverance allowed for the target to be annihilated as planned. The mission was a gamble from the start but the die that was cast fell on a favourable number for the Organization."

Riku turned his eyes towards Axel to gauge his reaction as Luxord spoke. Axel hadn't turned around to glare at Zexion but he looked like he had just heard something shatter and he was waiting for someone to yell 'who the hell broke it?'

Riku couldn't see Axel's face from where he stood with Lexaeus, but he guessed Axel was in shock, and for that Riku felt a fresh wave of pity. Everything Axel had worked for had turned to betray him and now he had nothing and no one to return to once the war ended. His heart, brain and other wonderful organs were scooped out leaving only his boney mechanics to turn cogs for Xemnas. In that moment Riku understood why Roxas was sentenced. Xemnas had taken away Axel's destination and he had nothing to cling to but the tracks. Axel would just have to keep running until he broke down. Riku did wonder if Axel would opt to fly off the rails, but for what point other than destruction? He truly did pity him.

Riku had been busy pondering Axel so his first sign of disturbance was when Lexaeus' hand clamped tighter on his shoulder instead of witnessing Marluxia snatch Luxord's gun. When everyone who could backed away from Marluxia, Riku felt hope in the sight of the revolver held by Marluxia's crooked, bloody fingers. Then Riku remembered the gun only had a single bullet and that would get them nowhere, especially with the state of the two men.

Luxord seemed to think the same way as Riku for he goaded, "You have one shattered leg, one mangled hand and one bullet. Unless we all stand frozen at the shock of one person's death you will not be getting out of here without further harm."

"I know I will not be getting out of this room alive or," Marluxia gasped out a ragged laugh, "or even in one piece. I can't bargain my way out either, you'll just have Axel shoot me."

"Hmm," Luxord puzzled, "There are seven people who you may wish to kill in this room so we all have a seventh of a chance to be randomly shot; those odds are already better than the ones I place on the people I question. Of course we aren't merely plastic or marble pieces on a board so we have to deduce who is the most important for you to shoot."

Riku took a look around the room at the lives Marluxia could choose to end. Only three people stood out to Riku. If Marluxia wanted to anger Xemnas or seek revenge he would shoot Riku and, as Riku thought about it, that option seemed more and more likely. He wasn't lined up against the wall like Larxene and Marluxia, and Xemnas had just killed off Roxas in the hopes to capture Sora without anyone to protest. Marluxia could also shoot himself and forgo any further torture, and by the way he breathed through gritted teeth it seemed a good option for him. The third option Riku thought of constricted his heart. Though he felt next to nothing for Larxene the thought of anyone choosing to shoot their lover or friend for the sake of a little less pain made him squirm. He had been unable to do so for Xion and Axel had lost a lot of his flame over gunning down Roxas. Marluxia may have had those qualms yet he still raised his gun, told Larxene not to be afraid and pulled the trigger on her. After that he gave the gun back to Luxord and hung his head.

"Well played," Luxord said softly to a sadly reposed Marluxia, "but your own pain will double before I order Axel to shoot you, I'm afraid."

"After committing such a crime how could I ever beg for mercy?" Marluxia replied sombrely. Riku lowered his gaze in sympathy and respect for the other man's suffering. If the worst was to happen to him he would hope to be just as composed and comforting to those around him.

The second echoing _bang_ made Riku flinch, but he had expected s cry of pain to follow. Instead of seeing Luxord's gun smoking and Marluxia writhing in new pain, he saw Axel lowering his gun and Marluxia's body lying still on the floor. The room was still and quiet for a moment as everyone stared uncertainly at the soldier lowering his gun. Then Axel explained the situation.

"Oops, butterfingers."


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer:** Not only did these guys create the song I'm quoting, but they also engaged in other circles of awesomeness. Their cover of Gaga's _Bad Romance_ is one of my favourite renditions of the song and Jared Leto as Angel Face in Palahniuk's _Fight Club_ just made me love the movie harder. It's great when your favourite things cluster together!

**PS:** Happy Christmas!

* * *

><p><strong>Stranger in a Strange Land<strong>

_Enemy of mine_

_I'm just a stranger in a strange land_

_Running out of time_

_Better go, go, go!_

_Angel or demon_

_I gave up my soul_

_I'm guilty of treason_

_I've abandoned control_

Vexen flew into a rage after Marluxia was shot prematurely. The nearly flaming at the mouth scientist was escorted from the room by Lexaeus and Luxord while Axel took up the guard position next to Riku. Xaldin charged himself with the cleanup duties which made Riku lightheaded to see. Marluxia and Larxene, though not nearly as ravaged as Naminé's parents had been, still reminded him of the carnal garden with the way they lay in a bloody mess so close to one another.

Axel snorted disdainfully as Xaldin hefted Larxene's limp body into his arms, but when Riku looked to him he saw that Axel was sneering at Zexion. Zexion regarded Axel indifferently and looked to Riku to speak to him. Riku actually agreed with Axel; Zexion saw the human mind as a toy and he was cold and calculating enough to know when the only further enjoyment he could get from it was to break it.

"You may sit down if you like, Riku," Zexion said, motioned to the floor.

"No thanks," Riku wheezed. His leg ached but he refused to do anything Zexion said out of stubbornness and the fear that doing so may give Zexion sway over him.

"Understood," Zexion said with a slight nod. "I just thought taking a seat might alleviate your pain."

Riku remained silent.

"I admit that the execution did not go as planned," Zexion confessed, his hand over his heart in mock sincerity. Axel chuckled but when Zexion turned to look at him Axel passed it off as a cough. Zexion turned back to Riku. "In some ways it is a good thing. The initial idea was to have you present during the questioning because I'm assuming it was much to your surprise that Marluxia attempted to assassinate Vexen while you were being questioned and advertently release you. We did not gain information however you did today, Riku."

Riku made a disbelieving noise in the back of his throat and he saw Axel raise his eyebrow sceptically. Riku knew how cruel the Organization was and how they dealt with traitors considering he was one.

"The deaths in this room were done sloppily but I expected no less given the executioner," Zexion said sharply in response to Axel's sarcastic look.

"Aw, Zex, you just like pissing on my parade," Axel retorted. Riku just closed his eyes and sighed disapprovingly at Axel's dark humour. The execution room was hardly a place for jokes. "And here I was aiming to be an _amazing_ murderer. You just shot my dreams to hell, man."

"No, Axel," Zexion turned slowly to face Axel, "I believe you did that to yourself when you pulled the trigger on that medic yesterday."

Riku swore he felt Axel's anger crackle like static electricity as he pulled away from Riku's side to leer down upon Zexion. Some of Axel's displeasure transferred to Riku and if his hands were free he likely would have advanced on Zexion too.

"You fucker! You-" but Zexion nimbly stepped back and aimed the gun Axel had handed over to him at the advancing soldier's distorted face.

"Zexion! Do you have the situation under control?" Xaldin asked as he lifted Larxene's tarp wrapped body over his shoulders.

"Yes, Xaldin," Zexion said with a bow of his head as he quickly lowered the gun. He stared at Axel as he said, "The truth is often met with displeasure because it is such a strong medicine."

Axel turned from Zexion and towards Riku. When he met Riku's pitying gaze he turned again, but Riku briefly saw the stress in Axel's eyes and the beginnings of tears at the corners.

"It seems that you've heard through the grapevine that Roxas died yesterday," Zexion said, turning back to Riku. He glared at Zexion for what he had said. Whether Riku could stand Axel or not, what Zexion was saying was horrible. He merely blinked at Riku's heated gaze and continued in his professional way, "Like I said, a very sloppy death. I suppose you feel bad judging by the contempt in your eyes but the knowledge that Roxas suffered greatly does not break you like it breaks Axel."

Riku's eyes narrowed as Axel gave a watery snort.

"I wonder what would, Riku? I wonder..." Zexion puzzled, "Would you be able to do for Sora as Marluxia did for Larxene today?"

Riku had been stubbornly silent but now any heated words he had been thinking of saying were pushed from his throat with a dry breath. Zexion wore a satisfied grin and his eyes shone a promise to do exactly as he threatened. He knew he should have been thinking of what to do but he could only slump against the wall and sink to the floor with his thoughts.

Zexion left the room and if he said anything after that Riku didn't hear.

Could he pull the trigger on Sora if he knew Sora was to be tortured and killed? Was what Marluxia did even right? Riku didn't think it was right but maybe it was better for her. Yeah, because this was just like trying to shove broccoli down someone's throat because it was better than going without. His mind conjured a scene where Sora was strapped in an adult sized highchair with his wrists bound in place while Riku tried to force-feed him a bullet on a gun-shaped spoon.

His mind shifted from the distorted future to the grim present. With Roxas dead Sora would be alone in the farmhouse, possibly sick and possibly too sick to move. He imaged Sora in his bed with half lidded eyes and his breathing short and shallow. He tried thinking of something to do, but his thoughts moved as quick and frantic as Sora's chest and that image never left his mind.

Riku saw Axel turn around as he stared mindlessly at Axel's black boots. Axel didn't pressure Riku to stand or speak any of his sarcastic jokes. He took Axel's silent regard as something like empathy and an uncharacteristic seriousness the touched something in Riku like no other Organization member had yet. It was a cold place in the better part of Riku that warmed slightly with Axel's companionship. Riku certainly didn't forgive him but understanding one another didn't require forgiveness.

He took a moment more to calm himself, but even so his mouth chewed the words soundlessly before he was able to croak, "I...fucked up."

"Nah, I doubt that," Axel replied with little shock that Riku was actually speaking to him. He looked at Riku with downcast eyes and lips that smiled ironically as he said kiddingly, "I think you just got fucked."

"Fuck you!" Riku spat causing Axel to flinch. What was _wrong_ with Axel? He shouldn't joke about this, about the dead or about torture. He was standing in an execution room preaching to an audience composed of a dead soldier and a prisoner. No shit people got fucked. It wasn't comforting and definitely not respectful to anyone who had been touched by the Organization's claw.

Riku's lips drew back in a snarl as he admonished, "Your jokes don't help anymore! Not after that. Not after Roxas. You grasp the concept of death, right? He's not coming back. _Ever!_"

The humour left Axel's face and his eyes filled with pain and anger. Riku stared likewise up at him, feeling only thistle stings of regret for what he had just harshly said.

"Goddamn it, _I know!" _Axel barked. He took a threatening step forward and pointed a finger right between Riku's eyes as he yelled, "And I don't need you reminding me, Twilight Trash!"

There was a tense silence where both men did nothing but stare in opposite directions with set jaws. After a moment their hackles came down and their jaws unlocked.

"Even if I think you're a bastard, that was cruel," Riku murmured to his lap. He chuckled as he thought that the worst of him had probably snuck into his words. Grimly he muttered, "That was something you Organization idiots would say. Sorry."

"Nah, I think I need a good slapping around. I think I'm...slipping a bit," he said tiredly and sagged on the spot. With a rueful grin he murmured, "But I'll take the apology for Roxas' sake. And, uh, you're right, I need to get serious."

"Yeah?" Riku asked warily, eyeing Axel suspiciously. "And what does that mean?"

"I probably shouldn't say openly considering, well," Axel's gaze wandered over to Marluxia's body. Riku followed Axel's gaze and was surprised that he would consider treason and he really had to wonder why. Was this over Roxas? If it was then Axel truly was slipping and Riku was even less inclined to accept his help. On some level they understood one another but neither of them trusted the other and so Riku couldn't leave with Axel.

"Fine, I get what you mean but I'm not following," Riku determinedly tore his eyes from Marluxia and stared boldly up at Axel. "I'll find my own way out."

Axel looked down with sceptical eyes at Riku who self-consciously drew his coat a little tighter over his tattered body.

"Want me to unbind you, cover my eyes and count to ten as you run away? I'll let you say you did it all on your own," Axel teased.

Riku replied with a withering look and went back to ignoring him.

Axel laughed awkwardly as he said, "Right. No more dicking around."

Riku turned his face away to hide his smile. Maybe Axel's humour was his innate medication to all ailments.

* * *

><p>Axel and Xaldin walked Riku back to his cell where Lexaeus was stationed as his guard. Riku had hoped Demyx would be guarding him since the chatty soldier was good natured towards him. Lexaeus as a guard proved to be, perhaps, even better since he was silent and motionless.<p>

Axel gave Riku a secretive look behind the other soldiers' backs as he locked him away. Riku looked away and shrugged as he slowly lowered himself to the floor. Axel backed away while giving Riku a serious stare, but it was broken as Xaldin spoke.

"I thought Demyx was to be on guard duty?" he asked Lexaeus.

"Demyx was wounded during yesterday's mission," he replied in his grave and deep tone. Riku noticed Axel's eyes lower at the mention of Demyx. Riku was sorry Demyx was injured but he knew he would prefer that over one of his own being hurt. Lexaeus turned his head briefly in Axel's direction and caught him glancing at Riku. When Axel turned away Lexaeus continued, "Even so, Zexion wished for me to stand guard."

Xaldin dipped his head and he too gave Axel what Riku thought was an insinuating look. From the corner of a smirk he said to Lexaeus, "I suppose it's because he trusts you."

Axel must have picked up the insinuation for he snorted and rolled his eyes as he said, "Geez, you sneeze once and suddenly everyone thinks you've got the flu. Well, you gents have fun."

Axel sauntered away with a casual wave to his superiors.

"I would have expected him to be more broken-hearted over the boy's passing," Xaldin remarked as he turned from Axel's retreating back to Lexaeus. "Your Zexion seems to believe Axel is vulnerable at the present."

Riku saw the back of Lexaeus' head bob in a solemn nod.

"Zexion believes Axel to be distressed but still functional," Lexaeus replied.

"And with his loyalty still intact?" Xaldin questioned.

"Axel returned to the Organization after being captured and without Zexion's aid or prompting."

Riku lowered his gaze when Xaldin turned to look at him. He wondered how Axel got out of Twilight Town custody in such a short amount of time and how he had been caught in the first place. A good soldier may be able to break from prison but an even better one wouldn't have been caught in the first place. He wondered if both the capture and escape had something to do with Roxas' death.

"So Zexion believes Axel remains loyal to us," Xaldin said as he turned from Riku, "but what about you Lexaeus?"

"Those matters are not in my area of expertise."

Xaldin laughed in his gravelly way before saying, "Yes, these are matters your superior specializes in, but I'm interested in your opinion and not Zexion's."

Xaldin waited expectantly for a reply as did Riku who sat forgotten in the corner. Lexaeus seemed to take no pleasure in talking about his superior behind his back, yet Xaldin outranked him and so he likely felt he should reply.

"I believe Axel is dangerous to both sides," he replied in a quieter tone of voice. Riku leaned forward a bit causing his ribs to burn, but he wanted to hear this. Before his talk with Axel he would have written this off as Organization gossip, but now it meant more even if Riku refused to join Axel. He would take Lexaeus' information like he would an omen predicting the future. Riku set little stock in omens.

"I feel that a mistake was made in the killing of that boy. Axel has always been unpredictable and now he is more so," Lexaeus' head lowered as if in deep thought as he said quieter still, "I fear that he has no loyalty to anyone. I also fear that Zexion may not see this since he and Axel were once friends."

When Lexaeus had finished speaking Riku leaned back against the wall with the smallest of huffs. The situation beyond his bars was a mess was the only conclusion Riku could draw. As though each person's problems were a splatter of paint on a white wall and the colours ran, mixed and produced new shades or were taken over by a heavy dollop.

Xaldin pondered what Lexaeus said for a moment before chuckling lowly.

"I hope that you really are out of your area of expertise because I don't look forward to dealing with this traitor. The witch has given me enough trouble as it is, but I mean to end her the next chance I get."

Riku couldn't stop himself from letting his neck snap straight at that remark but there was no point in protesting since Xaldin had left.

* * *

><p>Slowly the day slipped into scattered grey clouds and the night sky. Riku could barely twiddle his thumbs since his hands were bound, but he would have loved some sort of distraction. Lexaeus' cold shoulders provided no break from his worried thoughts. If he could just know that Sora was safe then maybe he could close his eyes to sleep the few hours the night still had.<p>

As it was now Riku's thoughts bounced around from worrying about Sora, to worrying about Naminé and to wondering if what Axel had said to him was at all true. He could do nothing about Sora or Naminé now, even the mention of their names seemed like a fable to him. The people outside of the prison were ghosts in the snow while Axel, cracked as Riku suspected him to be, was solid and real. Whether his plans or intentions were as palpable as to the questionable soldier was another thought that wouldn't let Riku sleep.

He couldn't trust Axel and he thought a lot of what the soldier had done was at best stupid and at worst destructive. Yet he seemed to be Riku's only chance of escape and, as Zexion and Vexen appeared before Lexaeus, he realized how short his and Sora's time was. He was scared to death but he sat still with his back against the cold wall in his cell.

Both academics saluted Lexaeus and exchanged words of greeting with him before Zexion dismissed the guard. Lexaeus seemed hesitant to leave though.

"Thank you for standing guard, Lexaeus, but I really have no need for you," Zexion said with a courteous dip of his head while Lexaeus stood before him with his arms crossed. "It would be a waste of your time and energy, my friend."

"Very well, sir," he replied, not sounding enthused about Zexion's decision. As he passed the academics he said over his shoulder, "Perhaps Vexen may stand guard while you question the prisoner, sir."

Riku heard Vexen snarl as Lexaeus continued with his slow and thick walk down the hall. He didn't actually dare to protest Lexaeus until his footsteps could no longer be heard. Riku lowered his head further as Vexen began his rant. No bit of intelligence would be gleaned from the enraged scientist.

"I'll have you know I have no intention of being degraded as a guard when I am in fact still your superior. I have far more experience in the lab than you and you are fresher from your days of training camp. Even since Marluxia's treason, Xemnas has cared less about what goes on in the Information Sector so long as he sees results. This is quite unacceptable. I don't know what the General thinks he's doing but I'm growing rather tired of this, Zexion."

"You are not the only one, Vexen but complaining will not sell us secrets," Zexion said with an undercurrent tone of exhaustion in his voice. He turned from Vexen's rage and looked in at Riku. Riku glowered at him from his patch of shadows. Zexion's icy expression didn't melt or flinch as he continued in a cool tone, "The General is growing tired of Riku's silence as well and if he doesn't talk soon then his silence will be permanent."

_Not before you bastards bring Sora into this, I bet_, Riku thought and merely snorted at Vexen and Zexion's expectant faces. Again, Zexion didn't react but Vexen swelled angrily and, even though the cell and the hall beyond were dark, he could see Vexen's pale cheeks glow red. If he wasn't so tired, in pain and worried about Sora he might have smiled at this accomplishment.

"Perhaps it won't be _you_ we silence then," Vexen spat as he grabbed hold of the bars and leaned his face into the cell. The moonlight lit up interesting shadows on some of his features making Vexen look deranged and thinner in the cheeks than he already was.

"Vexen..." Zexion said warningly as he took a step forward. The moon glinted off Zexion's eyes, illuminating their slight frustration with his partner. Vexen whirled on him, stopping Zexion's plea for composure.

"Zexion, I've always believed that information is a great prompter for action. So, Riku," Vexen said icily as he turned back to the boy leaning against the wall. Riku's frown grew to a snarl the more the academic spoke. "Allow me to inform you that should you not divulge your information in our upcoming session, the Organization has plans that are to be put into effect tomorrow shortly after noon."

Riku choked on words unsaid as he realized fearfully what plans would be put into action. Vexen took pleasure in finally getting a reaction out of him, but it was a low blow for Riku and, by the slight shake of his head, an unprofessional action in Zexion's stony eyes.

"We will bring Sora in," Vexen seethed.

"Don't," Riku snarled, more angry than fearful at the moment. He doubted Vexen would actually take any part in capturing Sora, but if he dared to take pleasure or glory in his friend's capture than he would hold him just as responsible. The crueller side of Riku would be loosed on Vexen by his better side's own hands.

"We will heal him but then we will harm him. It's much better to have all his circuits running before snipping wires."

It was incredibly frustrating to be locked beyond bars with waned strength where a coward like Vexen could taunt him. Vexen was the hyena who laughed at the lion caught in poacher's trap. Riku hoped that he could find some way to cause Vexen pain during his questioning tonight.

For the moment all Riku could do was give them an honest piece of his mind while Vexen gloated at his discomfort.

"Stop bringing others into this, cowards," Riku snarled with a cracking voice.

"Have it your way, then," Vexen spat and released the bars. They glowered at each other for a moment more before Vexen turned away coldly and instructed Zexion to bring Riku to the lab. Both Zexion and Riku merely blinked at Vexen's iciness before the scientist strode down the hall to his laboratory.

Zexion watched Vexen disappear down the hallway then turned slowly back to Riku while drawing a set of keys from his coat. He advanced on the cell door with his hand out only to pause and look back down the corridor Vexen had left by. Riku thought it was suspicious the way Zexion completely turned his body away from Riku's cell, and how his expression changed from cold to delicately anxious.

Riku watched as Zexion took a step forward and said flatly and seemingly to no one, "You have talked with Demyx."

If the cold cement walls of the prisoner's quarters could have spoken they would have sounded as sarcastic and tormented as the voice that answered Zexion.

"Yup, he's a good guy," Axel said as he came into view. Riku lifted his head and his heart rose too with a secretive hope that he was to be set free. He logically reminded himself that he didn't trust Axel and that there was reason beyond the torture and murder Axel had committed. Axel's sarcasm came off as harsh as the wind that howled through Riku's window. So much anger was offsetting at best and fear instilling at worst. Riku did admit to himself that the glint of the moon in Axel's eye as the clouds moved made him look deranged, and this chilled him.

"He does make a good person if not a good soldier," Zexion replied fairly and he took a half step back from Axel. Perhaps Zexion also saw the moon's feral revelation.

"He's an even better friend," Axel said tensely, all his humour gone. With his hands still bound, Riku got awkwardly to his feet and hobbled on one leg to the bars as Axel leered down on Zexion. "He never tried to pull me down, man. He's a good friend and he risked a lot because he cares. Why am I finding it hard to say the same about you?"

Riku was confused over what exactly happened between the two men who stood before him. He could believe that Zexion had wronged Axel but he didn't think that he was talking about Demyx now. The pain in Axel's voice and the strained look in his eyes were reminiscent of a couple hours ago when Zexion had mentioned Roxas. Riku was beginning to believe that Lexaeus was right; Axel was dangerous because he was furious and hurt, and he had nowhere to direct it because he had dug himself into a cramped and dark place that could barely lock his anger away. Zexion seemed to see that too but he didn't back down.

"Axel..." Riku called as he reached the bars, but he went unheard. The two soldiers searching one another's eyes.

After a moment of cool staring Zexion blinked and said as if he knew all of Axel's mental ailments, "I see."

"I know you do. Seeing and watching is what you do," Axel jibed and pointed with rigid movement at Zexion's indifferent eyes. Riku pressed his weight against the bars and called Axel's name again but he only continued his tirade. "I might be the hands of Xemnas' little corpse but you still could have told me, Zex. I'm not very happy."

"There's a reason why you do the dirty work, Axel, and it's because of your strengths. You have tenacity, stamina, drive; everything a field soldier should have," Zexion tried to reason but Axel wouldn't listen.

"Aw schucks, I'm so flattered," he snapped as he leaned forward with his lips drawn and eyes narrowed.

Fear fluttered and twittered in Riku's chest, causing his fingers to grip the bars tighter. Be it the strangest brought on by the moon or the truth dawning on him, Axel had been upset to the point of madness. Riku felt the rawness of Axel's pain like he felt the cold air he took into his lungs. Axel's emotions almost stopped his breathing.

"Those are your strengths, but not mine. You have your way of doing things and I have mine," Zexion continued to reason and raised his hand to point to Axel's hand hanging at his side. "Because you do as you do is the reason why you're holding a weapon and I am not."

Riku was surprised to see a knife's blade glint in the moonlight as Axel raised his hand.

He made an odd noise in his throat before he used the knife to point at Zexion and say, "I might consider trading the knife for that ring of keys in your hand."

Riku felt the wheels of righteousness lurch forward after spinning so long in the dirt as Zexion handed the keys over. Axel made his way to the lock while picking through the keys on the ring. Riku kept an eye on Zexion but the cunning soldier merely stood and watched Axel curiously. It made Riku feel sick the way Zexion's eyes seemed to work Axel over like a particularly complex passage in a novel. Riku turned from Zexion and met Axel's gaze as his hand hovered near the lock with the key at the ready. In the dark and at a distance Axel's green eyes looked like a wild jungle, but up closer, with all his features refined, Riku thought he just looked confused, tired and not really lively. The confusion began to clear as he neared the lock and slid the keys in.

"This won't bring Roxas back," Zexion said emotionlessly.

"Axel, ignore him," Riku barked but he was already turning away. Riku clanged on the bars yelling, "Stop! Look at me. Axel!"

"Excuse me but what the hell did you just say?" Axel seethed as he ignored Riku's plea.

"I only spoke the truth. I'm sorry but he is gone, Axel. Nothing can undo that. Rebellion and revenge won't help you either. It's salt in your wound."

He thought Zexion might have actually looked sorry as he spoke, but whether it was for the trouble Axel was causing or the trouble Axel was in, Riku had no clue.

"Thank you, Jiminy Cricket but I've had it up to here with the Organization's fucked up conscience," Axel said as he levelled his hand with the of the tips of his spiked red hair. Riku watched him drop his hand to point at Zexion in a sentencing way. Axel's brows scrunched and his eyes searched the air before him for a moment before the fire came back to his eyes and roared in Zexion's placid face. Riku wasn't sure whether he should try calling Axel back or not. Had he been Axel's friend he knew he would have tried, but as Axel's prisoner he wasn't sure. He decided he could do very little other than call the other's name.

"I pulled the trigger. Oh yeah, I admit it," Axel snorted darkly and dropped his hand as he huffed. "But it's _you_ that blindfolded and spun me around. I'm done with Xemnas' game. I'm making my own rules. I'm done, Zex."

Riku felt his nerves calm as Axel once again turned from Zexion and his persuasion. Zexion continued to speak to the sorest parts of Axel's conscience but he was deflected by blunt words and Axel's turned back.

"Axel," Riku rasped as the soldier beyond the bars scanned the corners of Riku's cell. Axel focused on him as he commanded, "Unlock the door."

Neither moved for a moment nor spoke as they stared each other down. He comprehended a sort of respect in Axel, like Axel had understood he was one of Xemnas' top soldiers and that Riku was his prisoner, but, through the eyes that had witnessed Roxas die, Axel now seemed to see things differently. He saw himself and Riku as equals, something like knights on a chessboard. Furthermore, Axel had stopped looking at Riku as the colour of the team opposing team and now saw him as a piece that moved as Axel did. They were equals and the key sliding into the lock proved that Axel would level the playing field.

"Riku's never been your friend, Axel. You have friends here-" Zexion cut in only to be cut off by Axel.

"Not you, I don't," Axel tossed over his shoulder. Riku stepped to the side to give Axel room to unlock the door but the keys didn't twist in the lock. Riku's eagerness began to slip at the corners and he could feel his face falling into a frown.

"I wouldn't jump to conclusions so quickly, Axel," Zexion said swiftly but softly as he saw Axel fumble with the keys. Riku glared at Zexion who merely glanced passively his way, but continued to speak solely to Axel. "Everyone in the Organization has a place and everything is connected. Surely you remember from our school days that even the most extreme parts of the body are connected to the brain and heart."

"I was kicked out of Vexen's-" Axel began to say but Zexion seemed to slip into Axel's mind.

"Has it been so long that you don't remember? We were classmates _before_ the war. We sat in wooden desks listening to our teacher drone on and on about history. About people who had been dead for hundreds of years and who had great lives, yet their stories still managed to put us to sleep."

Axel's mind appeared to stutter after Zexion cut him off. Riku looked from Zexion to Axel and found neither of them watching him. Frustrated and afraid that they would be found out soon, Riku reached for Axel's hands to remind him about the keys hanging in the door, but Axel pulled away.

Axel turned his ear, as if trying to catch words softly spoken, as he said with less blunt rejection, "I don't remember you ever falling asleep during a single lecture."

"I sat at the back of the class, but what does it matter? Classes didn't matter all that much, did they? That's why we chose to sleep then and stay awake at night, hopping the river, climbing up the shed at the back of the house, tapping on the window and slipping beneath the covers..."

"That's – how did you - ?"

"The scene changed a little when we joined the Organization, didn't it? But not the feeling."

Riku tried reaching for the keys dangling in the lock, but with his hands bound, turning the key proved to be difficult. With at tinkling _plop,_ that no one but Riku seemed to hear, the keys fell out of the lock and out of reach. He looked to Axel for help but found only an inspiration for fear. Axel's eyes were on Riku and his left foot was almost standing on the keys but he saw neither the keys nor Riku.

Riku stared quizzically up at Axel and tried to find something to say, but he felt lost. It was as if Zexion had nodded to a path that led into a deep forest where he guided Axel in a place they both knew while Riku tried to keep up. Sadly, he was rejected from the conversation and he felt nothing but the chill emitting from his window while Axel seemed to feel the impact of the fictional word Zexion spun. It was as if they were reminiscing on a story they shared while Riku sat at another table and caught a few words in his ear. The more Riku tried to understand the less he cared to hear of it.

"There was never a time when Roxas wasn't there, was there?" Riku peered around Axel to see Zexion stepping forward slowly, spinning his story as carefully as he treaded. His eyes were fixed on the back of Axel's head and he paid no mind to Riku who leaned against the bars desperately looking from one boy to another. "Even if he was asleep he was always in his room when you visited. All you had to do was lift the sheets and there he would be, maybe sleeping before us."

"What the hell are you doing? Axel?" Riku rasped.

Axel's head had lowered and his hands opened and rose as if he was holding an invisible child.

"I don't know," Axel whispered as he continued to stare at his hands.

Riku was about to tell him he was losing his mind but he spoke again. Riku believed that everything he said was doomed to echo throughout the prison and never reach Axel's ears.

"I don't know," Axel repeated and his shoulders curled forward as lowered his face. Through his fingers he sobbed, "I don't know if he's asleep or dead. His eyes are closed."

"Don't startle, Axel. Look," Zexion cooed as he tiptoed near enough to whisper in Axel's ear. Through his bones something like fear snickered and snapped as Riku heard Zexion's voice soft like a lamb's breathing and yet his eyes glinted like a wolf's in the moonlight. "Look. His eyes are closed. He's at peace."

Riku slammed his bound hands against the bars and barked Axel's name. It was eerie to watch him hunch forward and reveal Zexion whispering behind him. The odd puppet show made Riku tremble and strain forward against the bars in an attempt to reach Axel physically. He was a foot shy of being able to reach the spellbound soldier and about a hair shy of losing his own mind. His was snatching at the air in front of Axel's nose with his tied hands grasping like an alligator's jaw. He grabbed so vehemently that a sheen of sweat formed on his forehead and, as he leaned against the frozen bars, his skin began to stick and tug. His fear fed his frustration and as he struggled to grip he feared all the more that this whole scene was a nightmare and that this was one of Vexen's drugs playing in his mind. Axel wasn't really bending to Zexion's words and what Riku was really reaching for was Sora who was dying before his eyes but he was too drugged to see the truth. The pessimist in him believed that this was all a vision but the most human part of him believed that nothing was beyond his control if only he could get out of the cage. The best hope for his freedom was holding his head in his hands and standing on the keys to the door.

"Axel, whatever the fuck you think is going on, it's not real!" Riku tried to yell but his voice wasn't in good enough shape. He shifted his weight onto his arms and slammed his good foot into the bars. Axel twitched and Zexion's gaze slipped to Riku. They sneered at each other, Riku hating himself for looking and feeling like a caged animal, and Zexion looking like a boy carved from marble.

Riku snarled as Zexion took a deep breath and said soothingly to Axel, "Be calm. It's what we _all_ need."

"You're a monster," Riku snapped at Zexion who stared hard at Axel and ignored Riku's jibes. "The Organization if full of assholes like you. How could you even suggest you were friends? You're all the same!"

Axel gripped at his head as he lurched on an angle and fell against the bars at the opposite end of where Riku was standing. Axel shuddered as his fingers found the chilling bars. His fingers clutched and picked with twitchy movements. Riku thought he was finally coming back to the real world and its cold sensations, but instead Axel began scratching at his hands and tugging at his sleeves as if his uniform stuck to him like tar. Horrified by Axel's strange actions and wanting him to stop before he hurt himself, Riku shook the bars causing them to _clang_ and send a cold, metallic _boom_ howling down the corridor. Axel stopped and leaned his head against the bars as he breathed raggedly. Riku saw Axel's proximity and stillness as an opportunity and began to crawl along the bars to him. Zexion took note of this and began moving to Axel's side a bit quicker and speaking rapidly while Axel mumbled to himself.

"He's cold. He's cold."

"It's regrettable and sad. What's sadder still is if you choose to stay in a place of mourning. What can this possibly bring about?" Zexion said hurriedly as he came to stand behind Axel's shoulder. Riku grunted as he pulled himself closer. The cell had never seemed lengthy until he needed to pull himself along the bars while dragging a battered leg.

Zexion's gaze flickered to Riku whose leg was beginning to come to life and was now standing before Axel and Zexion, breathing heavily. Rapidly the cunning soldier whispered close to Axel's ear, "You can stay in a place where you're the only one who speaks and breathes, or you can slip outside to where we are waiting. We're just outside your walls, waiting. We are your friends and we are alive. Working with us you'll find purpose."

"Shut...the hell...up," Riku huffed as he straightened before them. He was almost nose to nose with Axel and they breathed each other's air with bated breath, but they didn't see eye to eye. Riku rattled the bars again, gently, as he tried to bend to get into Axel's line of sight. His leg burned and gave out. Riku yelled and had to sit paralyzed for a moment while the pain eased off. He tested his leg to make sure it wasn't broken while Zexion continued to hiss in Axel's ear.

"Axel, there's no one in the house. Everyone's dead inside. You need to come with me. Come - "

Riku lashed out against the bars, muffling Zexion's voice, while he found his legs.

"The keys are on the floor. Open the door," Riku grated, still shaking the bars as he drew level with Axel.

Axel loosely held the bars in his hands and his head sagged forward. Once again Riku wasn't able to tell whether Axel was lucid when he spoke.

"I can't," Axel said sadly.

"Axel, you said you _would_ so you _can_," he argued while his heart fluttered fearfully. He licked his lips with what felt like the last bit of moisture in my mouth as he spoke nearly nose to nose with the other boy, "You made a promise. Snap out of this or I'll – I'll-"

Reason stepped forward and knotted his tongue. What threat could he make behind bars?

Riku leaned his head against the door and bunched his fists in his bangs as Axel said, "I don't know if I can open the door."

"Axel, we have purpose outside. Come on. Do not touch that door," Zexion said as he tapped Axel's shoulder to lead him away.

Naminé's corpse in the garden, Kairi's body in the morgue, the orphans huddled around Aerith's limp form and Sora's skeleton beneath the blankets. Could he still recognize his boyfriend by his bones? Axel was leaving him no choice but to.

"NO!" Riku yelled hoarsely when Axel seemed to turn his ear towards Zexion. Axel's head snapped back and his hand rose towards the door, so Riku took the chance to grab him and pull him up close as he snarled, "You liar. You fucking _liar_. Getting serious? Yeah right. You're letting him get away with trampling your own goddamn memories. You pathetic Organization dog!"

He pushed Axel away from him and stumbled backwards himself. So Axel had planted his hopes only to let them rot. With an anguished sob Riku leaned on the cell door and felt the rotten core of his heart splatter somewhere near his feet. Vexen had said they would capture Sora and Riku would divulge anything the Organization wanted to know when that happened. Days after that the war would end and Riku and Sora would get to die together in the execution room. The last mark he would make in the world was a blood splatter and bullet hole in a wall.

"Sora...he's - you liar! I knew I couldn't trust you, you bastard."

With a _huff_ Axel fell against the cement wall next to the cell bars. He had a hand over the top of his face so when Riku looked to him through puffy eyes he saw only Axel's pale lips quivering in the moonlight.

"What are you doing?" he asked and Riku didn't bother answering. He wasn't even sure if Axel was conscious or if he was even speaking to Riku. Shakily Axel said, "You were talking about Roxas. Roxas-"

"Is dead," Zexion supplied with cold finality, "He's dead and you blame yourself."

"Because it is my fault."

Riku drew his head from his arms as Axel answered with clarity, albeit painfully.

"No," Zexion said empathically and Riku could see him holding a hand to his heart as he said, "You said so yourself, you pulled the trigger, but you weren't the only one involved. Listen to me, Axel. I can explain why certain people had to die and whose fault it is that they are dead."

Axel's hand lowered from his face. Even in the dark Riku could see the other man was close to tears. Riku clenched his teeth as he tried to keep from tearing his throat anymore with barbed yells. He could sympathize with Axel. He would love for someone else to shoulder the blame he felt for watching Leon and Xion die, but he had to blame himself because he did nothing then.

"You'll come to see that you had as much control over those situations as a single string does over the entire body of the marionette. It won't be your fault because it never really was. That will grant you some peace."

"Pathetic! You don't deserve it, Axel. Remember? You told me _you fucked up_," Riku croaked as he shook the bars. Axel looked over at him with wet agreement in his eyes. Riku straightened and with as much authority as he could scrap from his weary bones he ordered, "You've got to make up."

"I'm trying," Axel snarled, "I'm trying to think of a way."

"Axel, I am giving you a way," Zexion said as he crept closer to Axel's ear.

"I'll give you a way. Let me out and I'll give you a way. I'll repay what you've done to me and that's just for starters," Riku snarled. His voice became a little more plaintive as he said, "You're hurting Roxas the longer you let Sora suffer. Let me out. You said something about Naminé. You're hurting her too. If you want to drag yourself down, fine. Do it. But don't you dare take innocents with you. Let me out if you can't do it."

"He doesn't sound like a promising friend," Zexion said with a smouldering glare at Riku.

"I'm not looking for friendship with him. I'm looking for a way to make up for my mistakes."

"If you disband from the Organization then Roxas' death will be for nothing. The friends you have here will be forgotten and your regret will double. You are needed here. Riku's only wants you to open the door. You're an object to him, a means to an end."

"Look who's talking!" Riku fired back. He turned to Axel who was looking down at the floor with his brows furrowed. Maybe he had listened to Riku argue with Zexion and maybe he was off mourning in some dark corner of his mind. Riku banged on the bars and barked Axel's name to get his attention. He was tired of his hopes growing and being cut too short. Axel could stare at him as begrudgingly as he liked, but this song and dance had to stop.

"I am telling you I'm using you," Riku said earnestly, it wasn't hard after all. "At least I'm being honest. How many times has this little shit messed with your mind?"

"Axel, you can either walk forward with your friends fixed in your scope or you can keep glancing over shoulder, looking for a ghost that's only there when you look away," Zexion said, raising a hand and letting it hover over Axel's shoulder.

"Stop it."

Both Riku and Zexion looked to each other and found neither of them knew who Axel had spoken to. Riku watched warily as Zexion placed a hand on Axel's shoulder. The action appeared comforting but Zexion's gaze seemed to be focussed on some future prospect instead of sympathetically on Axel.

"You really need to think, Axel," Zexion pressed on, "What is best for you?"

"Is that how your mind works?" Axel asked, his voice cracked with emotion.

Riku saw Zexion hesitate before he said with a stony face, "Yes, that is my compass, I suppose."

"That's pathetic," Riku jeered and Zexion glowered behind Axel's back.

"Yet I'm not the one crouching in a dirty cell, my throat worn hoarse from screaming and swallowing my own blood," Zexion said coolly enough but his face gave away his anger.

"I can explain everything to you, Axel. That may not sound like much, but I promise words can weigh as heavy as gold," Zexion said silkily. He paused before adding in a meaningful tone, "This is not something you'll regret."

Zexion had proved how heavy words could weigh as Axel hunched further. Riku felt pity for him, but his frustration was greater. They were wasting the cover of night and no doubt Vexen would return soon to discover why Zexion had not brought Riku yet. There was nothing Riku could do other than yell some more at Axel, try to command him like he often did with Demyx, or he could glare. Considering how hoarse his throat felt he decided to just glare and save his breath for something more certain, like his true goodbye with Sora.

"Alright," Axel said after deliberation, "Alright, buddy. No more dicking around."

The suspicion and confusion Riku felt began to fade, and his white-knuckle grip on the bars loosened. Was this truly Axel's final decision and was he choosing Riku's side. Zexion seemed to think otherwise.

"It's a smart decision," Zexion said with gusto. Riku watched with a stony gaze as a triumphant smile formed on Zexion's lips and from the smile he spoke happily, "It gives purpose to Roxas' pain."

Riku found it both ironic and disgusting how Axel and Zexion wore similar expressions. He placed a hand over the one Zexion had on his shoulder and with a nod of his eyes in Zexion's direction, Axel said to Riku, "I'm gonna need your help, though."

"Of course," Zexion said while Riku straightened and prepared for what Axel would do next.

There was a self-loathing look in Axel's eye as he grabbed Zexion by the hand on his shoulder and spun him against the cell, making the bars ring an alarm. Through the bars Riku reached out his hands and got a hold of Zexion's lapels. After a split second of looking into Zexion's fearful eyes, Riku moved his hands to the soldier's throat. Zexion wheezed nonsense as Riku laced his fingers and squeezed.

"I know, babe, I know," Axel chuckled as he clumsily backed away with his head held low. Axel, despite being an experienced killer, couldn't look at Zexion and the gurgling noises he made had Axel shaking his head.

Axel ran a trembling hand over his face as he said, "It would be my hands around your neck if I hadn't considered you a friend once. Why am I having trouble thinking you'd do the same? Maybe it's the knife in my back."

Riku's strength wasn't what it used to be and Zexion was making things difficult as his fingers bit into Riku's white knuckles. He wished that Zexion would just give in, not because Riku wanted his job to be easier, but because he had never killed anyone like this. In all honesty Riku had never killed anyone directly but the people he did see die went quickly once their fate was decided. Zexion dug his nails in as if Death had a hold of his feet and he would use his last strength to try to hold on to this world. Zexion's body naturally resisted by trying to expand his throat and it seemed like once Zexion's hands dropped that the spasmodic kicks of his legs were not his own will.

Watching Zexion die made the blood rush nastily to his head, made Riku feel dizzy and incredibly disgusting. He didn't acquaint the stickiness on his skin to sweat, it was instead murder that coated him. When his adrenaline peeked Riku felt a jolt run through his body and his mouth grew to a horrified 'o' and his eyes imitated the full moon. In the jolt he felt untamed energy that he was both afraid of and exhilarated by. He wondered if maybe he enjoyed the way Zexion's eyes rolled back or the way he struggled. The worst of him won out and, like a deep-voiced gong, rang through his mind. Yes, Riku was a monster and he enjoyed all of the worst things in life.

"So goddamn pointless," Axel sighed.

When he felt Zexion's throat relax and saw his eyes had shut, Riku released him with a grunt of disgust. As if repulsed by what he had done, Riku stumbled backwards against the opposite wall and slumped against it. His heart attempted to abandon ship as it beat in his throat but Riku swallowed and willed his hands to stop trembling.

Axel stood near Zexion, rubbing his eyes as if to get the last bit of the dead soldier's glamour out of them.

Riku felt his heart giving into the worst of him and he found he really didn't care what side he was on so long as he got done what he needed to. Besides, after all he had done could he ever be truly good?

"Axel," he wheezed, staring through his bangs that clung to the sweat on his forehead as he ground out through clenched teeth, "Get. Me. Out. Of. Here."

"Yeah, I'm coming," Axel said with a last look at Zexion before stepping over his former friend's body to pick up the keys and open the door.

Riku pushed and pulled himself up and, begrudgingly, he let Axel help him walk out of the cell. They paused as Axel grunted something and slipped his hand beneath his coat. Riku watched him carefully as he drew out his knife and cut the bindings around Riku's wrists. Without thanks Riku hobbled on as Axel quickly sheathed his knife and caught up.

"No thanks?" Axel said teasingly but the dark corridors and the events that took place in them dried the humour.

"Don't press your luck with my nerves," Riku grated. He wasn't all that happy with how Axel had dealt with things and his leg was already burning.

"Says the prisoner to his guard," Axel said darkly as they neared the end of the corridor.

"Says the free soldier to a raving lunatic," Riku snapped and Axel chuckled softly.

"That too," Axel admitted as they paused at a T in the passageways to check for guards, but the hallways were mute. As they carried on Axel admitted, "I just haven't felt the same since...I murdered my best friend."

Riku looked at him from the corner of his eye. Axel looked dishevelled and as if he had been awake for days. Up this close Riku could see the bags under his eyes and the bloodshot condition of the whites. He felt sympathetic but he convinced himself it was only Roxas he felt sorry for. He fixed a cold expression on his face and decided not to comment.

"You know, I couldn't believe what had happened when it happened. And I don't think I'll ever be able to look at snow the same way," Axel rambled and as he did Riku's face grew tighter and tighter. "That was the first snow of the season and...he gave me his hand in the doorway, the one with the scar he got from-"

Both men turned when they heard a door open and footsteps into the hall. It seemed they turned around exactly as Vexen looked up the corridor at them. For a moment all three of them paused, Axel and Riku still as stone and Vexen too confused to speak or move. Riku willed Axel to say something, to lie or to pretend like he had just caught Riku escaping.

Instead Axel put a hand to the back of his head and muttered, "Well...shit."

Vexen stood frozen for a moment more before taking a step backwards, stumbling slightly and then bolting.

"Go!" Riku urged but Axel had already sped off. Vexen managed one cry for help before he was silenced and kicked down. Axel picked him up again with a hand over the scientist's mouth and his feet thrashing on the floor. Axel dragged Vexen back to where Riku stood and looked to his newly freed prisoner for suggestions.

"What are you looking to me for?" Riku hissed as Axel sank to his knees or shot to the left suddenly when Vexen wriggled.

"Well, you're the double agent," Axel said as he nearly sat on Vexen, "I thought you might know a couple tricks for going undetected or escaping – shit, he bit me!"

If Riku didn't know any better he would have thought he was partnered with Demyx. Demyx, however, wouldn't think or dare to take the knife from his belt and hold it to Vexen's throat like Axel did. Darkly, Riku thought that the knife was a pretty good solution except that upon seeing it Vexen twisted all the more and footsteps could be heard coming nearer.

Riku shared a look with Axel before they both headed for Vexen's lab and shut the door softly. The room was empty except for the two fugitives and their prisoner. The blinds were drawn on the windows and lights were off. The only thing that offered luminescence was a small burner heating a beaker filled with what was probably water and maybe sanitizer, with a couple pairs of tweezers and scissors soaking in it. The flame of the burner glowed an eerie red on the trays laid out with what would have been the instruments of torture for Riku. With a sneer Riku turned away from the things on the desk and focused on listening for the footsteps in the corridor.

They stood silent and still in the corner of the room except for Vexen who writhed against Axel and _clack_ed his feet on the floor. Riku wanted to hiss at Axel to make him shut Vexen up, but he realized that was nearly impossible with how frightened Vexen looked with the knife at his throat.

Riku stretched out his hand to Axel as he whispered huskily, "Give me the knife and keep him as quiet as possible."

"Sure – _ow, Goddamnit!_" Axel hissed as Vexen bit him once again, sending the knife clattering to the floor.

Riku sighed a snarl and Axel shot him a dry look.

"Sorry, honey, but there's not much I can do when he's this terrified," Axel whispered even as Riku put a finger to his lips in a command for silence.

Riku turned to stare at the door as the footsteps, and now voices, drew nearer. He felt the sweat dribble into his bangs as he twirled the knife and tried to ignore Axel and Vexen –

"_Axel!_" Riku barked in a hushed tone as his partner made a considerable amount of noise that snapped Riku's focus and patience.

Axel had lunged across the room, dragging Vexen along with him, and banged into the table with the burner. Vexen became still as his face came level with the hot liquid sloshing in the beaker. Riku watched as Axel gripped blindly for something on one of the trays and made the scalpels and needles _cling _and _clang_.

Riku hissed again for quiet and Axel merely nodded as his rummaging ceased when he extracted a couple needles.

Riku tried to focus on the sounds outside the door but his eyes kept dragging back over to Vexen and Axel.

"Axel. _Axel!_" he called and got his attention long enough to ask, "What are you doing?"

Axel held the needles up and asked Riku, "Do any of these look familiar?"

Riku's throat went dry when he thought about the nasty nightmare's those little needles held.

Angrily Riku hissed back, "That's not funny. We need to stay quiet-"

"Nod to any one that is a sedative," Axel ordered Vexen as he held the needles before the scientist.

"Quiet! They're at the door."

Riku's head twisted hastily and blurred the room, making the burner's flame look like a long orange ribbon as he looked from the door to Axel. Vexen only writhed in response to Axel's question. Riku began to hobble over to them to knock Vexen unconscious but Axel placed the needles in his mouth to bite the caps off and nestled half a dozen of them into anywhere he could reach on Vexen.

"No don't! I-" Vexen had time to protest as Axel drew his hand away from the scientist's mouth and slammed the plungers down.

Riku was shoved onto his back as Vexen flailed and fell to the floor. Axel threw himself over Vexen and pinned him to the ground. Riku's head was buzzing and his heart hammering, yet somehow through that din he still heard the footsteps.

He saw the rims of black boots through the crack under the door just as Vexen's struggling ceased and his protests became almost inaudible groans. Riku glanced briefly at Axel to see him with his head lowered over Vexen's back and then back to the door to see the boots walk past and carry the footsteps out of hearing range.

Riku closed his eyes and let out a slow breath through his nostrils as his muscles unwound. After a minute of breathing he looked to Axel to see how he was feeling. He wasn't sure what to say when he saw him.

Axel had his forehead pressed to the space between Vexen's shoulders. He was speaking to himself with ragged breath and every couple unintelligible words his mouth would gape and his shoulders would heave. Tears wheedled their way from under his shut eyelids.

Riku swallowed, licked his lips and swallowed again before uttering Axel's name. He didn't respond so Riku sat still in the dark and quiet room, watching the burner's flame illuminate Axel's tear tracks.

Riku doubted Axel was mourning Vexen and he wondered if Axel even knew what he had done. He was unnerved by how Axel's lucidity fluctuated and how it vanished at the most stressful of times, making Riku uncertain whether he should let his frustration out and be gruff or if he should let his sympathy gently nudge Axel along. He was torn now between letting Axel ride whatever he felt out or dragging him on. Riku felt it would be rude of him to interrupt Axel's mourning, but time ticked on outside of the cold and lonely room.

"C'mon, we have to go," Riku said as he got back to his feet. Axel became very still and Riku thought he saw Axel's head bob in consent but he didn't move.

Riku looked from Axel to the door and wondered what to do. He could just leave him there but Xemnas would question Axel and, with the state of the soldier before him, he bet the questioning would be more effective than a hammer coming down on an egg. If Riku crawled down through the tangled black mess the Organization had made in his chest he would have seen his conscience glowing and telling him leaving Axel was wrong.

Riku reached out for Axel, snorted at his own hesitancy and, a little too roughly, patted Axel's shoulder once or twice.

"I need you to get up."

Axel raised his head an inch and looked around as if he was uncertain of where he was or who was with.

"Oh, I thought Roxas was..." Axel saw Vexen splayed beneath him and paused midsentence. He put a hand to his cheeks and looked at the gleam his tears had left there. He swiped the tears away with the sleeve of his coat, pinched his nose and gave a thick laugh.

"Where have I been?" Axel croaked.

With a moan like he was sucking in air while trying to yell, Vexen flailed and flopped on the floor, tossing Axel to the side and making Riku hobble backwards with horror. Riku watched Vexen's feet kick as he used his arms and the table to pull himself up. He didn't have very good control of himself as he knocked over the beaker and burner. The whites of Vexen's eyes seemed to pop out of his sockets like the skin of his forehead was being pulled back. He gagged and gasped and moved around the room by groping and lurching. At one point he threw his body against a cabinet filled with beakers and jugs of chemicals. The cabinet fell forward and would have crushed him if the table hadn't been in the way. Blue, green, clear and oily substances poured and pooled while the little burner rolled on its side and smashed itself on the floor.

Standing on the opposite side of the desk from which the burner had rolled onto, Riku could see the little flame flicker somewhere beyond the table. Vexen continued to writhe but was having an impossible time with moving out from under the tent the cabinet was creating since the chemicals were slippery and the glass from the cabinet doors piercing.

Axel moved to stand at Riku's side and said with the seeds of fear in his voice, "I think I've done something like this before, back in class."

Like the floor had fissured and provided a spout for a volcano beneath the building, fire flared up in a fountain with a rushing noise.

Riku shoved Axel towards the windows. He tore down the blinds and Axel rammed his elbow through the glass. Riku used the knife he held to quickly clear away the teeth of glass still embedded in the window frame before being unceremoniously dumped out the window by Axel. The heat was shocked away by the foot of snow moulding around his face and body.

"Roll, bastard," Axel barked as he jumped out the window. Riku rolled quickly enough that Axel's boots only toed his arm and, using the movement from his roll, Axel pulled him to his feet. His arm was thrown over Axel's shoulder and the pressure was taken off of Riku's damaged leg so that they could run into the flurries and fields beyond headquarters.

* * *

><p>"Riku, how much do you know about maggots?" Axel asked, looking down at his lap and rubbed his chin. He was still on his ass in the snow after Riku had cracked his knuckles on Axel's jaw.<p>

"About – _what?_" Riku's tone changed from confused back to angry as he asked, "Are you trying to change the subject? C'mon, I thought you were smoother than that."

He shouldn't have been all that surprised with the number of times Axel's heart had flipped that night. Axel had been unwilling to set Riku free, unwilling to leave Vexen's lab and was now unwilling to leave the Organization. Ridiculing Riku had been the last flip Axel would do without the help of Riku's fist to turn him. Then Axel had to jump the tracks and start up a new conversation as if they had been talking about maggots all along.

"How long do you think it takes for them to get into the body? They go for the head first, right?" Axel asked worriedly as he continued staring down at his lap.

Riku let the wind howl his storm of emotions as he stood like a signpost in the snow. At the moment he felt like all his signs were broken or switched to read the wrong directions. There was something pitiful about seeing his torturer sitting broken in the snow, looking for advice from _him_. Riku cleared his throat.

"I think you're thinking of the expression 'the head of the fish rots first' and," Riku paused as he began to see what tracks this train of thought was running on. Riku tried not to shiver as he thought about what Roxas' eyes would look like with maggots dripping from them. "And, as for maggots, I-I don't really know."

When Axel said nothing Riku looked over the moor towards their footsteps fading in the snow. There were lights far behind them and Xemnas most likely had his dogs on the hunt now.

"It's a really stupid idea for us to be standing out in the open. We're sitting ducks," Riku prompted.

Axel's head bobbed a couple times, but he didn't move. Riku sighed and spoke in a firm but kind tone.

"Hey, it's cold outside. It's winter. It's the time of the year when most of the environment is asleep. Probably even maggots."

Riku offered a hand to Axel despite his mixed feelings.

"And even if they could get in," Riku continued in a sombre tone. He felt his lids lower sadly as he said, "he's not there. It's just his body."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I flunked out of science on the first day, probably sooner than you," Axel laughed grimly, "Vexen and I didn't exactly get along."

Axel took Riku's hand, but little of the lifting was done by the boy with the busted knee. He still wasn't sure how much Axel remembered of Vexen's death. He seemed to understand the scientist's death as being his fault but Riku didn't believe Axel could retell what had happened.

"Riku," Axel said with an increasingly rare clear gaze. Riku raised his head with anticipation and a little trepidation. Gingerly Axel said, "Tell Sora I'm sorry. For all of it."

"You're chickening out?" Riku asked mockingly.

"In a way, yeah, but I don't think it's what you're thinking."

"You're going back to the Organization?"

"Yeah."

"Then it's exactly as I think," Riku scoffed and turned his back on Axel before the sight of the guy drove him over the edge. Bitterly, Riku said over his shoulder, "Fine. Do what you want. Just leave me, Sora and _everyone_ else out of it. If you want to destroy yourself, then go ahead."

Again if Riku still believed the best of him was shining dimly beyond the memories of his time in the Organization, he would have admitted that he didn't want to see Axel kill himself.

"Thanks," Axel chuckled.

"Organization dog," Riku sneered and turned from Axel to hobble to Sora.

"Hey, Riku."

Riku paused about ten feet away and glared at Axel.

"If you want to guarantee Sora's and _everyone else's_ safety," Axel's lips twitched into a smirk before falling to a stern, flat line, "get Sora out of that house and somewhere safe where the Organization won't find him. Ha, the eyes of the Organization are closed anyways...Then board up the house. Nail all the windows shut, pile up furniture in front of the backdoor. Lock everything. And you've gotta get this done within the next couple days."

"Why? What's the point in barricading the house if no one's inside?" Riku asked.

"Just don't make the front door too hard to get into, and maybe leave Roxas' window alone, okay?" Axel said, ignoring Riku's question.

"What are you planning, Axel?"

Axel shrugged.

"Oh, just the end of the war."

"I don't know if I like the sound of this," Riku said uneasily. Axel's instructions sounded...not right. Riku stared hard at the soldier with his head bowed and the wind dragging his flaming hair away from his face. His plans sounded like a trap, like a web. Maybe the web could be spun and could catch the fly, but...Axel had to know that by doing so the web, the spider's home, would have to be broken. Axel had so little left and no place to go, he might as well call the coat on his back home because it would be the longest thing he would be in for a while. Was he thinking what Riku suspected his eyes were calculating under the brim of his cap?

"It sounds like...Axel, let me know what you're planning," Riku begged. When Axel didn't look up Riku tried reasonable anger. "You're in _no_ state to make difficult decisions."

"I don't know," Axel replied in a mocking sort of way, chilling Riku with the shadow of his words. "I've terrorized people without even meaning to, and I've ended good lives thinking I was some kind of hero. Those things happened because I didn't make my own decisions. I think I can handle one last mission. Besides, think of what you might lose. Do you want to lose your best friend?"

When Riku remained silent Axel nodded and said, "See? Told ya so."

"You're really frustrating," Riku said through bared teeth, "You have no idea how much self-control it takes to not beat the information out of you."

"Maybe later, babe," Axel ran a hand along his jaw, "Talking feels a bit painful after your punch. Picking a fight with you would be a real treat, that's for sure."

Riku tried to think of something to say, but what could he say to someone who had all the right reasons to do the wrong thing. Right: he had no one left to love. Wrong: so he hated all those left to hate. Right: he had been treated so wrong. Wrong: he would treat them so wrong. Right: he had no life beyond his final goal. Wrong: his final goal took him beyond life.

Axel ran up to Riku and came within an inch of being punched when he startled Riku out of thought. Axel didn't see Riku drew his fist back again as he slipped off his jacket. He tossed around the idea of knocking Axel out and forcing him to come with him, but why would Riku do that? No one would forgive or accept Axel. Saving Axel's life would all be to prove Riku could save something tattered and barely breathing. And why would he want to save Axel? To save a life from ending before its time? Or maybe because Riku wanted to have some power over Axel who had once had power over Riku?

He didn't hit him. Axel shoved his coat into Riku's hands.

"It might help disguise you and it might not. At the very least you won't freeze running to your boy. Then again, maybe you won't need it," he teased, "You've got the icy glare down pat."

Before Riku ran from the searching lights he saw in the distance, Axel gripped him by the upper arm. Riku snarled and was about to really send Axel flying until he saw the thinly veiled distress on Axel's face.

"And, if you don't mind," Axel's eyes lowered to his boots and he cleared his throat forcefully, "Tell Naminé that I won't be able to get my reward for coming through on her end of the bargain. Just...tell her to choose somewhere nice."

There seemed little that Riku could say to convince Axel to go with him when he had turned all but his eyes away from Riku.

With a sigh and a solemn nod Riku consented and they headed in opposite directions.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer:** This chapter's a bit of a seesaw, but my love for 30 Seconds to Mars is not. My love is the older sibling, heavier child or malicious adult that plants their ass the farthest back on the teeter-totter seat and holds the scrawny kid up.

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><p><strong>This is War<strong>

_It's the moment of truth and the moment to lie_

_The moment to live and the moment to die_

_The moment to fight, the moment to fight_

_To fight, to fight, to fight_

It was shortly after dawn that Sora was awoken from his sleep by the sounds of someone trudging through his house. It had been a couple days since Axel had visited and his fever was still present but he had had enough energy to make his own meals. The confusion his fever brought on had also left him.

Sora sat up in bed and listened to the floorboards creak as someone made their way up the stairs.

"Roxas?" Sora called with his eyes fixed on the open door.

It likely wasn't Roxas since the person hesitated somewhere down the hall. Roxas would have responded and come right away to Sora's side. Sora was beginning to think that Roxas would never come back, but like he did for Riku and Axel, Sora kept his hope burning with the kindling of belief. No one would leave him without saying goodbye.

His heart nearly burst when his guest entered his bedroom and he wore a black coat.

* * *

><p>Naminé sat at a table in the shed behind the preschool where the dead were kept, waiting to be buried. A lantern sat at the edge of the table where Roxas' body lay and another hung from the beams of the ceiling. She held her head in one hand and ran her fingers through Roxas' hair with her other.<p>

She was quite alone with Roxas. There had been no casualties that day and all the rest had been buried.

It had been two days since she had let Axel go. Her hand stilled in Roxas' hair as she wondered how many more days it would be until she saw proof that she had done the right thing. Her fingers and lips began to tremble and her eyes burned. Given how Roxas had died, would he even have wanted Axel's loving request?

Naminé let out a couple loud, heartfelt sobs as she put her face in her hands. She had no fear of being overheard as the wind howled and rattled the doors of the isolated shed. She was cold, confused and starting to feel a little used. She had no clue what Axel actually intended to do and she knew that he must be in pain from what he had done and likely wasn't himself at the present. When she had lost people she loved she felt blindfolded in an unlit room but she had friends to hold candles for her while she found sanctuary in healing practices. She guessed that Axel could not say the same after being betrayed.

"Roxas, I'm sorry and it's too late," Naminé said as she found the boy's hand under the tarp covering his body. "Axel's gone and I don't even know if that's what you wanted. I'm sorry if it's not."

The lantern's flame swayed as the wind snuck through the cracks in the walls. The light gave Roxas' skin a tint like blush and Naminé took comfort in the glow of his face.

Two seconds later the lantern on the table was blown out and the one hanging swung wildly, throwing shadows around the room eerily. The thrown open doors let the wind roar in.

Naminé felt coldest when the swinging lantern cast its light on the man in the black coat who stood in the doorway.

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><p>When Riku had reached the cover of the farmhouse porch he found that his drive left him like an accompanying animal that leapt off his shoulder. It took his bones with it too since Riku felt onto his side at the front door. For a moment he closed his eyes and didn't startle when the wind blew the hood on Axel's Organization coat over his head and covered his eyes. Heavier than he meant to, Riku dropped his head and his lips met snow.<p>

He was probably lost about fifteen pounds in a week, his ribs still burned when he breathed, none of his wounds were healing as quickly as they should and Riku doubted he would ever be able to walk properly again after the torture he had put his leg through but...

Riku smiled into the snow at the thought that he was...

Riku sighed heavily and put a hand over his face to feel the cuts, scars and lumps. He wasn't home yet because he had left the good part of him with the Organization and had carried here a vengeful corpse. Riku's conscience was broken and his body was deformed. Sora should not have to take him back.

Riku would have left Sora alone had he known Sora was perfectly healthy. He pushed himself up with grunt and swayed before the door. He didn't bother knocking since it was likely Sora would hear him trudging through the house. It was eerie for Riku to see the house so empty and the dawn light only made the wooden walls look grey and tired.

The stairs creaked with his awkward gait as he ascended. From this angle he could see Sora's door was open but he couldn't see if Sora was in his bed. As his bad leg hit the top step he hesitated. Sora probably didn't know about Roxas and knowing Sora, Roxas could be gone for years and his brother would still believe him to be alive. How was he supposed to tell Sora that no, he had not seen Roxas' body with his own eyes but that he knew he was dead? 'Your brother is dead' were not the words Riku wanted to say to Sora, but he had little choice.

With a heavy heart that sank a little more with each step he took towards the door, Riku entered Sora's room.

Sora was sitting up in bed and his head was lowered to his lap, but as Riku entered, he looked up with all the world's grief in his eyes. Only Sora's big blue eyes could contain that much sorrow.

"Riku..."

"Sora...I-"

"As I have told Sora, his brother is dead," Luxord said as he stepped out from behind the door with his revolver pointing at Riku.

Riku's mind stopped for a moment in its inability to place Luxord in Sora's bedroom. As the sly, bearded man backed up in the direction of Sora's bed, Riku couldn't help himself from taking a step forward and protesting.

"No! Stay away from him – unh!" Riku staggered as his knee gave way with the quick movement.

"Stay put, Sora," Luxord said, turning the gun on the boy in the bed as he pulled the blankets back. Luxord nodded in Riku's direction as he said, "Though I doubt he is faking, he did walk here on that leg. He doesn't need your help."

Sora sat half ready to run from his bed while Riku got shakily to his feet. Luxord had his gun close enough to Sora's head that, had it been a meeker instrument of war, it could whisper in his ear. No one moved or spoke for a second as the scene and characters settled in. Then Luxord spoke.

"I will be quite honest with both of you because my honesty is the last trick up my sleeves, and I don't have a doubt in this world that Riku always has his eyes trained on the magician's hand while everyone else is watching the distracting hand," Luxord paused. Riku glared at him and Luxord continued on in his speech, "I have only one bullet in this gun."

* * *

><p>"I can see it in your eyes, witch," Xaldin chuckled darkly from the entrance of the shed. The wind whipped his hood about but showed Naminé only a glint of her tormentor's eyes filled with desire for a hunt. "Your eyes show me <em>fear<em>."

Naminé stood from her chair and backed up until she felt the wall with her fingertips. She knew there was nowhere to go but she liked the distance between them. She didn't know what he looked like but she knew the voice and she had thought she knew the voice to be dead. So unless the wind was carrying it from the man's grave she was in the sights of a man who wished nothing but despair for her in the early hours of the morning.

He withdrew a knife from his belt that would have looked like a sword in Naminé's hands, and took a step closer to her, saying in his deep drawl, "One question, witch, and if you have the answer I'll end your fear with pity."

Naminé glared while her lip trembled and the man laughed.

"You really don't have the heart for this. You don't have enough anger, and even after all that I have done. How do you manage to walk with such a weak heart? It may be a gift now if it will end your suffering quicker. So, tell me, have you seen my prisoner Riku?"

* * *

><p>"You see, Sora and I were just about to play a game," Luxord said with a courteous nod to the boy in the bed who kept staring at Riku in an appeal for explanation. "I had just finished explaining the rules when we heard you at the top of the stairs and I hadn't even loaded my gun by the time you entered the room. Did you not see my slight of hand? I did slip a single bullet in-"<p>

"You lie, you're putting it in now while we talk," Riku snarled as he looked pointedly at the gun being transferred to Luxord's other hand.

Luxord beamed as he flipped the chamber closed with a snap of his wrist.

"Keen eyes. And here I had been hoping to stack my deck. I promise you though that there is only one bullet in my gun. I had to lie in order to even the odds, but now I can honestly say there is only one bullet in this gun. If there was any more than one then you both would be dead."

There was another moment of silence where everyone seemed to be thinking about the gun, the single bullet and the three people in the room.

Riku was the first to speak.

"You can't kill us both."

"I know," Luxord replied with a grin on his face, seeming to enjoy this little puzzle of lives and bullets, "If I kill one of you then the other attacks and though both of you have been injured you are both armed."

Riku knew he still had Axel's knife but he looked to Sora to see how exactly he was armed. Riku couldn't see any weapon near his boyfriend.

"Zexion mentioned once that the farmhouse boys now sleep with knives under their pillows," Luxord said upon seeing Riku's gaze dart over Sora's body.

"So what do we do now?" Riku asked, knowing the answer but not what would happen.

"A game."

* * *

><p>Kairi sat alone in the dark hallway of the makeshift hospital. The door's windows looked out into the snow covered courtyard where she could see the thin, vertical line of light peeking out of the shed doors.<p>

She knew Naminé was in there tending to Roxas' body and half of Kairi wanted to be there and the other half wanted to stay in the dark and deserted hallway. She was looking down at the worn, wooden floor, contemplating the problem when the vertical line of light no longer gleamed in her eyes. She looked up and her jaw went slack and arms uncrossed as she saw a dark figure standing before the shed and opening its doors. Light flooded out but the stranger's clothes remained blacker than shadows.

Kairi's hand gripped the handle of the door but she froze.

* * *

><p>"This game will be different since there are three of us playing and we are all aware of each other's motives and abilities," Luxord explained, "I propose a chance game that is fair to us all, unless of course you happen to be rather unlucky.<p>

"Here are the rules: two of us will each take a turn pulling the trigger on ourselves. The unluckiest will be penalized with death while the other gets to decide the third person's fate. How does this sound so far?"

"I don't think I like the consequences," Sora said evenly as he eyed the gun pointing at him.

"There is little we can do about that seeing us we are all one move away from calling checkmate on one another," Luxord said with a nod and smile to Sora.

"I don't think it's fair," Riku said testily. He pointed to Luxord and spat, "How do we know that you won't turn the gun on one of us when it's your turn to take a chance?"

"And vice versa?" Luxord added with a quirked brow to which Riku just snorted. Luxord nodded and said in more dour tones, "If that happens then the third person intervenes. I'm sure both of you could throw a knife or catch me before I reload my gun. And that's where my only concern lies. If I win the game then how do I walk out of here safely?"

Riku and Sora gave their replies in unison.

Sora said, "I won't cheat."

"Sora won't cheat," Riku said.

They looked at each other and gave one another a twitchy sort of grin that would have had a side of laughter if it had been served under better circumstances. Luxord chuckled.

"I believe I would have enjoyed your act had we had the time to see you both in Master Xemnas' ring. What a time we would have had with your torture. Now..." the humour left him as he said, "I propose that I be allowed to have another bullet placed somewhere nearby. Perhaps in the other player's hand? It's not exactly fair but it gives me a better chance."

Sora and Riku silently mulled over the suggestion. Riku thought he understood the look on Sora's face; he seemed to be wondering what hell they were doing. Riku knew how crazy the Organization could be when it came to life and death situations.

Sora looked up at Riku and gave him a small nod.

"Alright," Riku consented, sounding none too pleased, "that's fine."

"Then, Sora, why don't you reach into my pouch and pull out another bullet?"

"Hold on!" Riku snapped as Luxord stuck out his hip and Sora reached out his arm. Luxord turned the gun on Riku when he took a step forward. Sora was staring at him questioningly, likely because he couldn't fathom why now Riku was scared. Did Organization members have a tendency to keep snapping turtles in their pockets? The hour of fear should have started the second Luxord stepped out from behind the door, not now. Riku pointed a finger at his heart and said, "I'll hold the bullet. I'm the one that will play with you."

Sora _tch_ed.

"Riku-"

"Sora-!"

"Before you two start arguing, might I interject that I didn't choose Sora because I thought he had the worst luck, but because he is the closet to my bullet pouch," Luxord looked from one boy to the other and reprimanded airily, "I didn't ask Sora to sit on my opponent's side, just to set up the board. Remove a bullet if you please."

Sora took out a bullet, showed it to Luxord who nodded, and then looked from the bullet to Riku. Riku glowered disapprovingly at Sora, knowing exactly what cogs were turning in his friend's head. Luxord _hmm_ed out a laugh.

"While you two are deciding I think we all ought to decide, or rather, have chance decide which of us tempts the gun first," he said as he gave the revolver's chamber a hard spin.

"Rock, paper, scissors," Sora declared as he and Riku stared each other down.

"Very well. Why don't you boys do it in an attempt to expend some of your annoyance," Luxord said as he kept an eye on both of them. "I'll wager that Riku wins and if he does then it will be one of you two who goes first. Understood? Then begin."

_Rock._

_Paper._

_Scissors._

* * *

><p>"Riku..." Naminé breathed with wide eyes and an opened mouth.<p>

Xaldin tilted his head questioningly.

Naminé's lips sealed together with a smile as she whispered, "...he's _alive!_"

"But you haven't seen him," Xaldin said as he raised his blade, "and you never will."

* * *

><p>"Paper beats rock and it seems Lady Luck sits with me for now," Luxord said as the boy's shook out their fists. "Now one of you needs to decide which of you will-"<p>

Sora lunged forward, bumped his head against the gun's muzzle and found his hand around the gun to pull the trigger while Riku roared his name.

* * *

><p>Naminé was prepared to go to her death smiling now that she knew her last actions had saved someone. She was just as surprised as Xaldin to hear a woman scream, though not as terribly surprised as him to have a scalpel buried in his neck. It was when Kairi pulled the scalpel back out that the wound became deadly.<p>

* * *

><p>"I suggest you stay back, Riku, or this room will quickly become a war zone, "Luxord said coolly as he turned the gun from Sora to himself. "And if you wouldn't mind taking a few steps back, I think that's fair."<p>

"It's not fair because we didn't decide on who would be playing this fucked up game with you," Riku spat. His hands shook with fear and anger that Sora could do such a thing, but his friend merely sat in his bed staring defiantly at him.

"You're more than welcome to join us, Riku," Luxord teased as he pulled the trigger on himself and, like Sora's try, nothing happened. Luxord smiled as he offered the gun to Riku. "I have no objection since it lessens my chances to a third."

Riku didn't reach for the gun; he knew it was stupid to have them both playing. He watched as Sora took the gun again and put it to his temple.

"You shouldn't have done that, Sora," Riku grated, "You were finally starting to heal."

"And you were just set free, right? At least that's what he said," Sora nodded his head at Luxord.

"That doesn't _matter_-"

"You're right. Neither of those reasons matter because they aren't the reasons why we're in this situation," Sora said emphatically. With the knuckles of the hand that held the spare bullet, Sora pressed at the corners of his eyes. Sora nodded at Riku as he said throatily, "The reason you want the gun is because you don't want to see me die-"

"It's more than that! I deserve-"

"You don't deserve to die, Riku!" Sora yelled as if Luxord wasn't even there watching them curiously. "I don't want to ever hear you say that."

"Then maybe it's what I want."

"I don't want to hear you say that either."

"Sora-!"

"The only thing I want to hear is you say goodbye," Sora said as he looked sadly at Riku, "Y'know, just in case."

"Sora-!"

"Fine. I'll say it. Goodbye, Riku."

Sora pulled the trigger again. When nothing happened he drew in a shaky breath and passed the gun off to Luxord.

* * *

><p>Kairi found that fate was no more locked than the door was. She was too late for Riku now, but Naminé still had time. The muting snow and loud wind suited her nicely since the Organization soldier didn't react until she had sunk her scalpel into his neck.<p>

Kairi had to hop backwards when Xaldin swung around with a blade in his hands. He nearly separated Kairi's top half from her bottom. She leapt backwards a couple more times in an odd dance as he swung wildly with one hand and the other desperately clutching at his neck. He caught her, not with his sword but with his elbow. Kairi gasped as she was thrown against a table, hit her head on one of its corners and fell to her knees stunned.

He bore down on her and the lights went out.

* * *

><p>"Sora, wait! <em>Please<em>," Riku begged emphatically. He could feel his knee shaking with pain and his eyes blurring with tears, but still he focused on his boyfriend with the gun to his head. "It's your last turn."

"I-I know," Sora said glumly as his hand holding the gun quivered. He looked up with red rimmed eyes and attempted a smile as he said, "I'm either really lucky or the unluckiest person alive since, y'know, I've had to prepare myself for death three times in the past five minutes. Maybe I should just do this quickly."

"No! Give it to me!" Riku said reaching out his hand for the gun.

"It's against the rules of the game," Luxord interjected dispassionately.

"Yeah, it is," Sora said after he let out a deep breath. A fair bit more composed he kidded, "C'mon, Riku. You admitted that you would cheat if it was just you two left. I think I would be too slow to even try. You've got a chance to escape."

"No, Sora, don't-"

"Why not? He knows it," Sora nodded to Luxord who stood quietly next to Sora's bed. Sora touched his chest as he said, "I know it. And so do you."

"No, it's not that. Listen to me!" Riku commanded forcefully as tears fell quickly down his cheeks and stung his cuts, "I'm not gonna fight. I couldn't. You should see how messed up Axel is after Roxas and I'd be worse. Axel still has something driving him."

"You do too! You have the orphans and Twilight Town. Kairi, Naminé and Diz."

"I know!" Riku bellowed, "But I want to live with you and I don't want to settle for less."

"I know how you feel, but we're – I'm just gonna have to do this," he said as he raised the gun to his head.

"I love you."

Sora pulled the trigger and Luxord snatched up the gun.

"Sora!"

* * *

><p>While Kairi had danced around Xaldin Naminé had climbed on top of the table and unhooked the oil lamp from the beam. With all the anger her little heart could muster and all the strength in her tiny arms she smashed it over Xaldin's hooded head. She was off the table a heartbeat later and doing all she could to drag Kairi out into the courtyard.<p>

When they had stumbled through the fresh snow and to the door of the hospital without being pursued, Naminé stopped pulling Kairi and sat both of them down despite the chill. Kairi had been breathing erratically since Naminé had dropped the oil lamp and she showed no signs of calming.

"Kairi – Kairi!" Naminé said gruffly as she grabbed her friend's shoulders, "Listen to me. You have to take slow and deep breaths."

"I – I – I-"

"No speaking. Breathe with me."

Naminé tried to lift Kairi's head off her chest but when she did so Kairi fell forward to scoop Naminé into her arms. Kairi kissed Naminé just below her jaw bone as she said with scattered breath, "I'm not in shock. I – I'm _laughing_."

"Laughing?" Naminé asked, bewildered and blushing. Kairi nodded her head as she continued to laugh and squeeze her closer.

A few second later Naminé giggled out, "Well, laughing at something like this is an even more serious symptom. You may be suffering from a psychiatric disorder."

"Listen you! You're laughing too!"

"Only because you are. Oh! And because I found something out for the Organization soldier."

"Yeah?" Kairi asked as she straightened up and brushed tears from her eyes.

"Riku's been set free."

* * *

><p>The gun didn't go off on Sora, but now Luxord had his revolver back with no doubts as to where the bullet was hiding.<p>

Riku had yelled Sora's name and now he was being stared at awkwardly.

"Riku, why did you yell? It didn't go off."

"Probably because you just handed a loaded gun back to your enemy," Luxord explained grimly.

Riku sighed, though his heart was slowing and tears drying as he realized Sora was not dead by his own hand. Riku narrowed his eyes and hissed through gritted teeth at Luxord, "The Organization doesn't play fair. We're just back at the beginning."

Sora's confusion melted and he looked from one soldier to another for some explanation or sign as to what would happen now.

"So what do we do now?" Sora asked and found only silence and nobody willing to meet each other's eyes. Riku knew what to do but he was sorry he had to do this in front of Sora. Sora was another Demyx; not a person suited for the biting and clawing in the mud and blood at the heart of the war. As Riku reached for his knife Luxord raised his hand to Riku, the one not holding the gun.

"The rules do not change to accustom the cards," Luxord said sombrely and yet an ironic grin stayed on his lips as he slipped the barrel of the gun into his mouth. "I don't wish this but this is my game."

Luxord pulled the trigger on himself and the gun went off and his brains went out.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Alright, guys. Five more chapters. **5**. And that includes an epilogue. Erm, but there may be **4** depending on if I decide to include an extra little thing. I'm not sure. It's not crucial to the plot, but it's a ribbon that just completes the package. It would be a bit on Saix. I'll decide on its inclusion after Chapter 21. Have a fan-freakin-tastic day!


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer:** Still 30 Seconds I am chirping about. I thought this song summed up Riku in this fic pretty nicely.

* * *

><p><strong>Alibi<strong>

_I fell apart, got back up again_

_And then I fell apart, but got back up again_

Riku had thought about getting a shovel but there was little he could do even if he had his health and the use of both his legs. Had this been Sora's body he would have dug a proper grave through the foot of snow and frozen ground. Riku left Luxord unburied, unless Mother Nature decided to snow again, and he leaned against the porch to catch his breath and think.

Sora seemed better, though it was hard to tell given the stressful circumstances. He still seemed weak and his eyes were ringed but his head was clear enough. Riku breathed out heavily and closed his eyes as the warmth of his breath blew back into his face. He had to get Sora out of the house so he could do as Axel asked. However both tasks seemed impossible with how tired he already was and how he and Sora were not on the same page. Sora knew very little about Riku's ordeal and Riku felt like a weight already sunk to the bottom of the ocean while Sora was just toeing the shoreline. Despite all that, Riku would have given his good leg to have Sora's love again.

There was a series of coughs from the doorway of the farmhouse. Riku turned unsurprised but uncertainly towards the screen door.

"You were taking so long I thought you were burying him," Sora explained in a craggy voice. He chuckled a little as he admitted, "But then I thought that maybe he was somehow still alive and you...I guess I still have a bit of a fever."

Riku limped up the porch steps slower than was necessary. He hoped to buy some time with his measured steps because he hadn't had enough to figure out what he would say. There was a lot he wanted, needed and feared to speak. When he stood a little more than a foot outside of the door he said whatever came to the tip of his tongue first.

"I'm sorry and I need to apologize for a lot but I need to tell you about all that I'm apologizing for, but there's also some things about your brother and Axel and the house that I need to-" Riku sighed as he slumped on the spot, "I need to rest."

The screen door creaked open.

"Then come inside."

"But I should explain first-"

"No," Sora said firmly. He shook his head as he said, "No, you're coming inside first."

Riku stood rigidly for a moment before bowing his head and stepping inside.

There was some unspoken debate about where to sit. Sora, despite Riku's gentle suggestion that he still needed rest, did not want to set foot in his room or Roxas'. The living room looked unlived in with its dust and grey light and neither had enough energy to give it life. They settled for the kitchen and with no debates about seating arrangements they sat across from one another at the table.

On the wall above the entrance to the living room a clock _tick_ed on and counted the seconds they were silent up to twenty, then they both spoke at once.

"Sorry, you go," Riku mumbled and shifted in his seat in an attempt to get comfortable.

"Yeah, okay. I'll start," Sora said but instead of speaking he closed his eyes and let out a long slow breath. When he looked up again he opened them and spoke in a low tone, "You left me over a week ago."

"I know."

"But it's almost like it doesn't matter because you came back like this," Sora gestured to Riku's overall appearance and Riku hung his head in shame. His fingers came up like creeping vines over a cratered castle. He felt and hid the cuts and scars while Sora spoke. "I don't know what to say because I don't know what happened. I thought you were going to go to Twilight Town, come back here and then I would convince you to go into hiding, but that...and now I'm worried that if I ask what happened you _won't tell me._"

Sora paused to loosen his jaw and run a hand through his hair. He muttered, "You never do."

"I know and back when I was still me," Sora made a noise in the back of his throat and gave Riku and odd look but he didn't stop speaking, "I didn't tell you because it wasn't really for you to know, at least I thought so. And now...I can't tell you because what I've done and who I am now are not good. I might deserve it but I don't want you to hate me. I don't know how to face you or anyone else."

"How 'bout like you always do. Y'know, with your hands on your hips and that superior smirk on your face," Sora suggested with a twitching smile.

Riku closed his eyes and laid his head in his hands again. Through his fingers he mumbled and to his surprise Sora said the words with him.

"'It's not that simple'. Yeah, I know it's not, but I kind of am."

Riku looked up with the slightest of amused smirks on his face while Sora smiled back and shook his head.

"Not like simple as in stupid, I mean it's simple for me to sort out how I feel about something or someone," Sora looked down at his hands with a warm grin lighting his face. "When you left I was furious, the angriest I've certainly ever been, but when I couldn't see you walking away anymore I wasn't angry then. I was just sad because I still loved you."

Riku straightened in his seat a little as he teased, "You need to learn how to hold a grudge."

"You still love me, right? You said so in my room an hour ago."

"It's not that-" Riku paused when Sora's brows raised slowly, "It's complicated."

"Why is it complicated?"

"Because of what happened. I'm different."

"You're not you," Sora said and Riku nodded.

"It's just like the King said," Riku said with an ironic laugh, "I'm not me anymore and I hate who I am now, but you're safe and so are the others so it was worth it."

"I haven't seen the King in a long time. He's a smart guy but I don't think that he would have told you to hate yourself."

Riku sat silently because he didn't want to argue about this. They would only end up mourning and crying and he had work to be doing.

"Riku, look, I know you think I'm Mr. Sunshine the Optimist but I have my dark moments too," Sora said glumly as he looked down at the table. His voice wilted as he sighed, "Like right now.

"Riku, I really need you right now and you need me, even if you don't think you deserve sympathy. You're hurt in a really bad way that even Naminé's skill couldn't heal," Sora extended his hand across the table with his palm facing up. Riku looked at and felt the corner's of his lips pull down. Sora coaxed, "Just trust me on this one."

Riku began to shake his head, rattling emotions and clinking memories together like piles of junk being upset. His head fell into his hand and his other hand fell into Sora's where it was held tightly.

* * *

><p>Riku told Sora the basics about where he had been and what had happened as they worked to secure the house. He did mention Axel briefly in the worst parts he had played but he spoke more about how the man had set him free and how torn apart he was about Roxas. Sora listened with glazed eyes as he bent to nail boards that were difficult for Riku to bend to while Riku reached to windows higher up that Sora couldn't touch without wrenching his arm. Sora didn't interrupt or interject while Riku spoke demurely.<p>

Riku wasn't sure what Sora thought when he told him about his days in the Organization as a spy, though he did comment when Riku mentioned Xion.

"Do you know what they did to her?" Sora asked, his voice husky with exhaustion from working and his fever, "They hung her up in the crab apple tree. I yelled at them as they took off in their jeep. They were such cowards."

"I know...I heard you."

"Oh..."

"I know."

Riku continued speaking until each word he said came out with a scratchy hitch and until his body buzzed a threat that he really should stop or else he would hit the wall. It was around that time when his body was refusing to work properly that he started to talk about his time being tortured. His hands shook and it stopped feeling good to purge all his memories. He was a little shocked that it would be hardest to speak about his time as a prisoner when all along he had convinced himself that his darkest days in the Organization were the ones when he was free. There was something very humiliating in admitting to the boy he loved that he had been sedated, beaten, and broken. It was at that time in the late afternoon that Sora surprised Riku by covering Riku's shaking hand with his own and forced him to stop working.

"You've been going nonstop," Sora said with a drag of his thumb over Riku's bruised knuckles, "We're going to lie down for a little while. Neither of us should be working this hard."

"You still want me, even after...?" Riku croaked.

"After what? The things the Organization _and_ Twilight Town commanded you to do?"

"Yes, but also with how I am now," Riku rasped as he found he couldn't run a hand through an inch of his hair without it catching in a knot, or put a hand anywhere on his skin without feeling a bump or bruise. He laughed but it sounded more like a cough as he said, "I haven't looked in a mirror for a long time and if I look anything like how I feel then I don't think I want to."

"Well, you're healing. It'll take some time before you feel good again, but as your mirror I say that you're still Riku. Here, especially if I," Sora slipped beneath Riku's arms and held him softly as he rested his head on Riku's chest. Riku looked down to see Sora's eyes were closed and his lips were tenderly smiling. Eventually Riku's heart stilled and he breathed along with Sora.

"There," Sora murmured, "you're really still in there, Riku."

* * *

><p>Sora didn't want to sleep in a room with blood dripping from the walls so, with an aching heart, he led Riku down the hall to Roxas' bedroom. He could have chosen the spare bedroom that had once been his father's but they had already boarded its windows and that room felt even worse to be in than the living room. Sora sensed that Riku had his own hesitancies about spending a couple hours sleeping in Roxas' bedroom since he pulled Sora's hand as they entered.<p>

"Sora, is this really appropriate?" Riku asked in a voice fit for a funeral home.

"Riku, you know that we're here for each other but right now I don't want us to be _us_," Sora croaked as the water left his throat and travelled for his eyes. He stared hard at the bed and it sat unmade and untouched in the square of light cast by the window. He let go of Riku's hand and entered the room.

"What I want," Sora said as he sat on the edge of the bed, "is to say goodbye to my brother. You can join me in mourning him but you can't be here to be with me, okay?"

Riku stood stoically in the doorway surveying Sora. Slowly he nodded his head and entered the room. He took a seat on Roxas' bed next to Sora but didn't even let their shoulders brush.

"Okay," Riku said and laid himself down.

Sora looked down at Riku with all the muscles in his face slackened in grief.

"Thank you," Sora whispered and laid himself down to rest.

* * *

><p>They slept far longer than they meant to, or at least Riku did. He had explained to Sora yesterday why they needed to board up the house and get out of it as quickly as possible. Axel had some sort of plans for the place and even if Sora wanted to stop the grieving soldier he probably wouldn't be able to. Sora, it seemed, had few qualms with destroying and leaving the house. It had been his home since he was young but he admitted it didn't feel like home now that he was alone in it. In fact it was Sora's feelings of desolation that woke them.<p>

Both boys had been sleeping undisturbed while the moon began to set. Then Riku was drawn out of slumber when he heard Sora sigh and felt him sit up. Riku moaned as he rubbed his eyes and was surprised when he opened them to see nothing but darkness.

"Sora?" Riku asked groggily as he too sat up in bed, "Is everything alright?"

"I don't know," Sora sighed. In the darkness Riku could make out Sora's silhouette holding his head in his hands.

Tentatively Riku put a hand on Sora's shoulder and comfortingly rubbed him.

"Nightmare?"

"No, I was so deep in sleep that I didn't dream at all. I was just out, but...you know how sometimes you just wake up at night and you're wide awake and you feel like you can't move?"

"Yeah."

"I felt like that but it wasn't just that. It's my head, it's making things up," Sora said miserably and he squeezed his shoulders in tighter. "When it woke me up I had a sudden thought, like I had been dreaming or like someone had whispered it in my ear."

"What did you hear?"

"I didn't actually hear anything, but I thought about my brother."

Riku stopped stroking Sora's shoulder and instead laid his head there mournfully.

"I just thought that maybe he was with us, or maybe I dreamed that, but when I woke up the feeling vanished and I couldn't move. Then I kind of forgot you were here and I panicked a little. I thought I was all alone in this house but then Roxas was somewhere in the dark...waiting to follow me out."

"Follow you out?" Riku asked gently.

"Stay with me and go with me for as long as I needed. To make sure I didn't live alone."

"He would do that, wouldn't he?" Riku laughed and Sora responded by leaning into Riku. "You were both always trying to be the big brother. And probably still are since Roxas is here and you probably want him to move on. You're both idiots."

"What's that?" Sora asked, bumping Riku off his shoulder as he listened to the silent house. Riku's heartbeat picked up, but slowed again as Sora turned to whisper in Riku's ear, "Roxas says that the afterlife his given him enlightenment and he has divined that you are actually the mom in this relationship."

Riku buried his face in Sora's shoulders while Sora laughed in his arms. It wasn't until Riku felt a sudden speck of cold on his arms that he realized Sora was in tears. Riku readjusted his grasp so that he held Sora in a more encompassing way and said nothing as he rested his chin on Sora's shoulder again.

"Sorry."

"It's fine," Riku soothed.

They didn't stay mourning for long after that. Riku got up to finish barricading Sora's room while Sora rested a little more and then prepared for their trek to Twilight Town. By the time the sun rose Sora found Riku and told him he was ready to leave.

"Alright, I think I've done enough for Axel," Riku said as he tested the boards covering Sora's windows and found that they wouldn't give. Riku turned to Sora and looked shyly at his feet as he asked, "Uh, Sora, you don't happen to still have my Twilight Town uniform do you?"

Sora shook his head as he walked past Riku to his bed. He lifted up his pillow and said, "I used to keep it under here but the day Roxas left it disappeared. There's a wall at the main entrance to town where the Organization hasn't taken over yet and the soldiers there wouldn't let him in. I think he disguised himself in order to get help for me."

"That's why Axel didn't recognize him," Riku said sombrely as he stared at the empty space under Sora's pillow.

Though it didn't matter much, Sora replaced the pillow neatly and made his bed, wincing as he used his bad arm.

"I can't believe Axel did that..." Sora whispered.

"He is in the Organization and you saw firsthand how crazy they can be," Riku said, his eyes wandering subconsciously to the bits of Luxord on Sora's ceiling.

"It's just I can't believe he _could_ do that. Axel loved Roxas, Roxas was the reason Axel joined the Organization. I just can't believe it."

Riku leaned against the doorway and looked at his feet as he asked, "What would you do or say if you ever saw Axel again?"

Sora shook his head and said honestly, "I don't know. I'm angry with him, but I know he loved Roxas and so I know this was an accident...but I don't know if I could forgive him. I kind of want to for Roxas' sake. I don't know. I'm just guessing that Roxas would forgive him."

Sora turned to Riku and asked, "Do _you_ forgive him?"

Riku blinked slowly.

"No."

Sora was nodding before Riku even answered; he knew the answer before it was given.

* * *

><p>Riku decided to leave the door untouched because Axel would most likely be entering the house. He left a toolbox on the stairs and if Axel wanted more wood then he could rip up more flooring or grab the firewood next to the chicken coops.<p>

Sora stood at the foot of the porch, already looking pale and exhausted. Riku limped down the stairs and put an arm over Sora's shoulders for stability and to keep Sora warm. They began to head east towards town when Riku spotted something large, alone, and dark coming out of the woods minutes away from them. The figure as well as Sora and Riku paused in surprise at the sight of one another. Then the figure bolted straight for them.

"Shit! Sora, we've gotta run," Riku hissed but ended up twisting his leg and falling to his knees.

"You can't run all the way to town on your leg," Sora chided. He looked around for a place to hide, Riku doing the same.

"The woods," Riku decided and Sora nodded.

They were closer to the edge of the woods than the figure who had veered away from the trees in a beeline for the boys. Riku looked over his shoulder to see the beast of a man switch directions without halting or skidding. By the height and girth of their pursuer Riku knew it wasn't Axel and if he had to speculate he would guess him to be Lexaeus.

Riku ran next to Sora but he was heavily limping and Sora's face was a burning red. He could hear Lexaeus crashing through the brittle undergrowth not far behind them. Riku considered themselves lucky that Lexaeus wasn't shooting at them, but there wasn't much else to be happy about. They could hardly squat in a wintry forest and not expect to be seen. Their luck truly broke when Riku took one step too many and his foot ended up knee deep in a delicately frozen river. He gasped as he fell back into Sora's arms and almost lost his shoe to the current.

Sora gripped Riku's arm to steady him as he panted exasperatedly, "We can't cross here. I know where we are. It's far, deep and strong."

"Then we hide now," Riku said, pushing Sora to where two trees grew close together. At the base of one of them was a hollow among the roots. It wasn't very deep and even if there was foliage the spot would make a poor den.

"Riku, I don't think-"

Riku put a finger to his lips as he left Sora in the hollow and limped on a now freezing and sore leg around the tree and a little back the way they had come. Riku flattened himself into the snow, pulling the gun he had taken from Luxord out as he did so. Before he had time to aim it Lexaeus had already stomped past him and Riku had to hop to his feet. His knee screeched to crouch and spring so quickly but he had to work fast. He didn't have any plan now but he had a knife, a gun and a lot of fear and anger. When he reached the place in the snow where Lexaeus' footprints were filled by the boots that had made them then he would see how far the things he had got him.

Through the spindly branches of the trees Riku saw Lexaeus slow and then stop to stare down at the hole Riku's foot had made in the ice. Lexaeus was already turning towards Sora when Riku had a clear shot. Unfortunately, at a run his aim was good enough to splinter the tree next to the burly soldier and alert him. Riku fired again but Lexaeus had thrown himself forward out of the revolver's scope and towards Riku.

Riku snarled to himself as he felt Lexaeus grasp and twist the gun out of his hand. Riku had enough strength to send it flying out of both their hands and into the creek's swallowing waters. Apparently the great soldier didn't need a gun as he not only absorbed most of Riku's retaliation but also dealt a blow that forced the air out of his attacker's lungs, and pressed Riku further for air as his back hit the frozen ground.

Riku breathed in snow and rolled blindly away from Lexaeus. Not only was Riku on his back but he had also dropped the knife somewhere in the foot of snow he lay in. Desperately he dragged his hands through the drift, feeling for a handle or even the sting of the blade as long as it could be in his hand.

A few rapid heartbeats wasn't enough time to find it, but it was all the time he had before Lexaeus' hands were around his throat and his great weight was pushed down on him. Riku thought he felt something in the snow but he couldn't quite grab a hold of it so he dug his fingers into the hands at his throat. Even in a healthy condition Lexaeus' strength would be impossible to grapple one on one with. In his pained, sodden, and frenzied state Riku could only buy time with his biting nails.

"I may be too late for Zexion," Lexaeus said in his grumbling voice while Riku's vision hazed at the corners, "but I will fulfill my duty for his and my own honour."

Riku's arms fell limp and his eyes began to close and head grew light. He thought he saw a ghost or maybe death standing between the two trees. He thought that the spirit was there to usher his grey and tattered soul through the two trees as if they were a portal to the next world. Clarity rushed back to him as Lexaeus' hands suddenly released him and he understood the world as one without portals and ghosts. He was freezing in the snow on his back while Lexaeus stumbled with a hand to his head.

Riku had enough air in him to shuffle a couple inches backwards. He let out a yelp when his fingers were sliced open seemingly by the snow. He fumbled with the blade while his brain played catch up. Lexaeus lunged forward and Riku drew in a ragged breath as he brought the knife up. It was Lexaeus' turn to gurgle a cry as he once again stumbled backwards, this time with a hand to his throat.

Lexaeus' hand dropped from his throat and let his blood run tracks from the cut as his feet broke the ice. Riku shivered as he watched Lexaeus wobble for a moment, attempt to say something but only brought blood to his lips and then fell to his knees to vanish completely in the dark, quick water.

Riku let the knife drop from his hand as his body sighed, only to come to his senses and sheath it in his belt. In two days Xemnas had sent two guards after him and he was losing hope in ever finding a safe place.

Sora came to sit by Riku in the snow and for a moment they watched the water churn.

"That was...horrible," Sora said with a trembling voice. He looked down at his hands as he said, "I got him. I hit him on the head with a rock. You should have told me what you were planning."

"You thought I was leaving you again?" Riku asked, sitting very still on the bank and breathing irregularly. His neck felt swollen and he wanted the snow to melt and summer to come. With the wind's howling taking the frozen brook's place in serenading the dead forest, Riku felt like he was back in his cell.

Riku flinched when Sora slumped against his shoulder.

"Sora?" Riku asked when he felt the heat coming off of him. He put a hand to his friend's head and didn't waste another moment daydreaming in the snow. Riku let out a cracked yell as he lifted his own weight and most of Sora's off the ground.


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer:** Only a couple more chapters to disclaim for 30 Seconds. How will the war end? Will Riku find solace within himself? Does Demyx learn how to tie his shoelaces? Can there be a happy ending? I guess if you're familiar with _Hero_ then you've got some answers. My sister who was beautiful enough to edit and read all my stories said this one and _Hero_ can function on their own, but each one fills in the gaps of the other. For that reason, I am going to include the extra bit on Saix after chapter 22, but before the epilogue. Alright. Happy reading!

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><p><strong>Search and Destroy<strong>

_I'm a whore_

_A birth of broken dreams_

_This simple answer _

_Is never what it seems_

Once Kairi and Naminé were certain Xaldin was no longer dangerous they made their way to the schoolhouse to speak with Diz. The wind blew them and a puddle of snowflakes into the school while they laughed and chattered excitedly. Diz looked up from the documents on his desk as the girls entered the room. Naminé quieted in Diz's presence while Kairi boldly stepped forward. Diz regarded her with faint surprise and tiredly waited for her to speak.

Kairi told of the Organization's presence early that morning and Diz seemed to rise slightly in his seat with the terrifying news. Kairi didn't notice her old professor's wariness and pressed on to the part where Xaldin had mentioned Riku and, more importantly, that Naminé had heard Riku was alive and free. At that bit of information Diz's mouth slackened and he seemed to stare at something far off. Naminé worried that he was having a stroke, but the old man shook himself, closed his eyes and smiled.

Kairi asked for clearance to take out a jeep to the farmhouse and admitted that even if he denied her she would do so anyways. Diz agreed, saying that he owed Riku so much more than a ride home, but he would have to start somewhere. He told them quietly to go and went back to perusing the documents with a slight smile on his lips. Kairi pulled Naminé out of the room and as they left, Naminé stole a final glance at Diz. She doubted Diz knew he had been seen prodding at his chest with one hand while tears began to wheedle down the lines around his face. When he fell forward onto his desk, Naminé called Kairi's name as she bolted to his side.

There was little Naminé could do for Diz other than call Olette to stand guard outside his office. Diz seemed to know this too and with a sad sigh he waved the girls towards the door and told them to find Riku.

Unfortunately Diz's blessing wasn't enough. The snow and cold temperatures kept the jeeps from running. After two hours of stomping on the gas, turning the key and peeking under the hood, Kairi had to admit defeat. Naminé led her friend inside to warm up while they waited for the blizzard to calm. Naminé soothed her friend by saying that with the wind blowing so strongly the storm would likely pass within the day and by nightfall the temperature would have climbed enough for the jeeps to run. Naminé suggested that Kairi should rest while the storm blew out and when the moon was high they could head for the farm.

They did try starting the jeep at midnight but it wasn't until the sun rose that it would actually run. Kairi didn't waste a second when the jeeps grunts became a continuous purr. Naminé didn't go with her since they were depriving the Regiment of one jeep and field medic and they would most likely need Naminé's expertise that day.

Kairi did feel nervous about going into an area where potentially the Organization's top soldiers could be searching for Riku. More than fear she felt a drive to find her friends and, after the courage she had scrounged from her struggle with the Organization soldier, she believed she could make a difference and could right her regretful wrong.

All the way to the farmhouse, where she was so sure that Riku and Sora would be, her heart beat quickly with the snarling of her jeep. When she came within sight of the house it quickened even more, but as she drew sidelong with the porch her hope snuffed out. If the eyes of the house were its windows and its door the mouth then it would be gaping with lidded eyes in a very still manner.

Kairi's feet went numb as her feet sunk ankle deep into the drifts. She wandered up to the steps of the porch but didn't draw any closer. Nothing moved in the house, not even the wind banged the screen door. She climbed the steps despite the dread weighting her chest and entered the quiet house.

Except for the entrance way, every room in the house was dark. All the windows on the bottom level were boarded and the house was cold. Kairi tiptoed through the dwelling, not daring to lift her feet for fear that somewhere in the house Sora and Riku's bodies were lying in the dark hallways. She didn't see any evidence that suggested a struggle until she entered Sora's room. The sun that glared off the snow crept through a crack in one of the boards covering Sora's bedroom window and perfectly illuminated a dark streak on the wall. Kairi inhaled sharply and put a hand to her mouth as she squinted about the room. She forced herself to check all the closets and under all the beds just in case they were hidden under there. Tentatively she called their names but nothing answered her except for the groans of the house.

She felt relieved to leave the dwelling but bitter tears welled in her eyes as she tried to understand what had happened. Kairi guessed that the Organization had caught up with Riku at the farmhouse and had taken both him and Sora as prisoners. The grim part of her mind whispered that it was Sora's blood on his bedroom walls and that they would receive his body in a couple days.

She was walking numbly back to her jeep with her eyes trained miserably to the ground when she spotted something in the snow. She recognized the black coat despite its dusting of snow and also realized that it wasn't just a coat. Her heart picked up again as she mentally prepared herself for seeing either Riku or Sora dead in the snow. Grimly her mind asked her which boy she would prefer it to be and her heart screamed as she pitched forward at the feet of the body. She didn't want it to be _either_ and if it was Riku or it was Sora then she would grieve just as hard for either.

She reached out a shaking hand and slowly drew back the hood to reveal a man she didn't know. Kairi's breath caught in the back of her throat and she let the hood fall back over his bloodied face. It wasn't either of her friends and he wasn't recognizable as a Twilight Town soldier.

Kairi jumped to her feet and spun in a circle with her eyes trained to the ground and her surroundings. She saw no disfigured lumps in the snow, but as she paced about the porch she found two sets of footprints fading in the drifts. She could recognize her friends by sight or sound but she'd never put much study into the size of their feet. This footprints could be Riku and Sora's, they were close enough together. If they were then one of them wasn't walking properly and she could tell that after the wind had done damage to the prints then they couldn't have been made long ago; the blizzard would have licked them clean off the ground had they happened before dawn.

Kairi ran along the tracks with her eyes fixed to them. She frowned as her hair got caught in a branch and for the first time she realized that the prints were headed into the forest and not towards Twilight Town. She paused at the edge of the woods and even took a step back from the claws of the trees. Why would they retreat to the forest?

She didn't have time to think of any reasons or figure out why the tracks became muddled by another person's footsteps. There was an agonized sort of cry five or six meters to the left and deeper in the trees to where Kairi stood. She wasn't sure whether she should take a step forward or back, hide or run.

Whoever was emerging from the forest was dressed in black and seemed to be huffing in a great deal of pain. The branches shook as a hunched and bulky someone lurched out of the forest and paused to quiver. Kairi's heart was no longer torn between directions as her eyes pointed her feet finally in her due north.

* * *

><p>Riku couldn't help but stall and shake at the edge of the forest. The entire time it took for him and Sora to limp their way from the bank to there he had been thinking <em>just to the edge, keeping walking to the end of the forest<em>. Now he stood before a world of white with so much farther to go. Sora was feverish and limp at his side and Riku really couldn't ignore his leg anymore. The bandaging was soggy and he was sure he had done irreparable damage to it over the past couple days.

"We just keep going," Sora whispered and bucked Riku up. "Lean more on me."

"It's pretty far away," Riku sighed as he sagged against Sora.

"We'll get there," Sora said as he pressed a shaky kiss to Riku's neck.

"Sora! Riku!" a familiar and seemingly impossible voice called from their right.

Both boys turned their heads in Kairi's direction. Sora felt happiness relight his eyes. Riku dared to feel a little bit of hope and his leg gave way as Kairi reached them.

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><p>For the ride back to Twilight Town Riku and Sora sat in the back of Kairi's jeep holding each other under a woollen blanket. Sora faded in and out of sleep and the noise of the jeep snarling through the snow made it difficult for Kairi and Riku to hear one another. He did share a tentatively happy smile with her through the medium of the rear-view mirror every now and again. When they looked away Riku's eyes fell to the top of Sora's head and his thoughts wandered to the near future. When they entered town how would he feel and how would others feel about him? At the moment he was surrounded by his fool hearted friends who loved and held him no matter what he had done, and for that he felt a spark of happiness. Dauntingly Riku felt anxious and incredibly insecure in who he was. He was honest so he would tell anyone who asked where he had been, who he had helped murder, and what had been done to him. As Sora cuddled closer to him Riku feared all the more the day he would stand naked before Sora. He was changed and his scars were the only cover to the thin skin over his ribs.<p>

Riku imagined himself a year from now as limping and sleeping in the most destroyed parts of town. His hair would reach the small of his back and be a couple months unwashed if the weather decided not to rain. No one would be near him because they knew his begging hands had once been hands that ripped out the hearts of Xion and Leon. The boy in his arms now would look at him with pity but not with love as he passed Riku in the streets. His leg would never heal to a state where it wouldn't hurt just to stand and Naminé would feel bad about not healing him to the best of her ability, but would know that he deserved a constant reminder of his mistakes.

All those thoughts Riku kept inside his skull as Kairi turned off the jeep and twisted in her seat to sigh, "You're home."

She got out of the jeep and was heard at the back of it lowering the back flaps. Riku roused Sora and awkwardly crouched and limped out of the jeep. Kairi was immediately at his side and taking most of his weight onto her shoulders.

"Holy _shit!_" someone exclaimed from behind as Riku and Kairi began ascending the stairs to the preschool hospital. A moment later Hayner was on Riku's other side with his shoulder under Riku's arm. Hayner grunted, "Riku, you look like you've been through hell. What happened? Did those Organization dogs do it?"

"Hayner, I think Riku needs medical attention, not your attention," Olette said as she helped Sora out of the jeep and followed them up the stairs.

Riku was surprised that Hayner wasn't finishing what Saix had started on his leg. It was just the surprise and pity of seeing Riku so worn. Once the truth came out Hayner and Olette would stop pitying him and hate him. Hayner would be the first to turn against him.

Their slow procession through the hallways of the hospital drew many eyes and heads popped out of rooms to watch them. Though none of those eyes held accusations Riku felt his anxiety rise. The worst was to come when he neared the room where he would likely receive medical attention. A group of people were waiting there for him and Sora, people he hadn't even expected to see. Pence and Naminé stood against the wall talking in hushed voices until Riku rounded the corner. The King's guards popped off the wall and stared excitedly at Sora. The King was there as well, already making his way to Riku past Aerith, Yuffie and the youngest orphans that couldn't be left unattended.

"Our radios don't always work, not nearly as well as the Organization's do, but I think my message reached a couple ears," Kairi said as they paused in their six legged walk to the door.

The King grabbed Riku's hand that lay about Hayner's shoulders and shook it as he said, "I am so proud of you, even though I am not your king. As your friend I am happy to finally see you back where you belong. And on behalf of Diz..."

"Diz?" Riku asked wearily. The King bowed his head with such heavy emotions in his eyes.

"He's not well, Riku, but he wanted me to say that he is deeply sorry."

Riku's heart flapped lamely as it plummeted. No one seemed to hear what the King had said as they pressed forward happily.

"Yeah, Riku! It took you a little bit but you did good. Leon would be proud too!" Yuffie said, bouncing happily on her toes.

They all seemed to press forward like Riku was a warm centre and everyone felt a little chilled. Riku did not enjoy it. A handful of people in a cramped corridor felt like a small stampede alleyway and the bulls were their words. The praise stung and stuck to his skin and still they smiled at him, wanted to hold his hand.

Aerith pushed her way forward with her hip as she held a child in her arms. She offered words of welcome and the others offered more too. All their words battled with what Riku knew in his head and the fight made his lip tremble and eyes sore. The brightness of their smiles dimmed as their lips fell over their teeth and as Riku tried to hold his emotions in. Failing to do so, Riku unwrapped his arm from around Hayner's neck and covered his face with his hand.

"T-thank you all but you're wrong," Riku muttered through his fingers and everyone grew silent.

"You're wrong," Riku repeated, "I didn't – I'm not-"

"Riku, we know it's been tough on you," Kairi murmured as she squeezed his wrist, "You don't need to explain anything now. You need rest. We're just here to welcome you."

"No, I need to tell you that you're wrong. None of it's true."

"What's with you?" Hayner hissed and Olette and Pence snarled at him to show some respect.

His nose felt like it would break anew as he pressed his hand hard against his face. The loving words kept coming from all of the Twilight Town people and suddenly he was a sobbing mess. Everyone murmured uncertainly and the child in Aerith's arms startled to bawl.

"Please move aside. He needs rest. Sorry, Your Majesty," Naminé said with a small curtsey as she pushed everyone aside. Riku was being moved again by Kairi and somebody new taking Hayner's place.

He heard a door close and all the voices in the hall were muffled. Someone was trying to push a handkerchief between the fingers of the hand covering his face.

"Where's Sora?" Riku asked as he buried his face in the handkerchief and tried to calm down.

"Right beside you," Sora said kindly as he ran a hand down Riku's arm.

Riku took his hand away from his face and looked down at Sora. His friend looked exhausted, red faced with fever, and worried.

"It's just us four in the room now," Naminé said from where she stood by a hospital bed. She motioned to the bed with her hands as she asked with a smile, "Will you sit down so I can take a look at your leg? Sora, you can take the bed next to him."

Riku nodded and gently pushed Kairi and Sora away as he made his way to lie in the bed. Naminé met his eyes briefly before pulling back the cut flaps of his pants and gingerly removing the bandage Vexen had put on.

"I'm glad to see you again," she whispered before settling into her work.

* * *

><p>The hospital room was dark now and Sora had been asleep for an hour. Riku lay in bed alternating between running a hand through his hair and setting his fingers in a steeple on his chest. Naminé had done as much as she could for Riku and, as he had predicted, his leg would never be the same. Sora had also received similar news about his arm.<p>

Riku looked over at his peacefully sleeping boyfriend. Maybe their shared brokenness made Riku feel at ease around Sora. Everyone else, including Kairi and Naminé, Riku couldn't stomach. Naminé had refused all visitors without consulting him and he was grateful for that. He knew that someday either the door would open and the world would come in or he would go out, but for one night he wanted no one in the room except for Sora. Naminé seemed to understand Riku's solitary desire while Kairi was hesitant to leave her boys' sides. It was likely Kairi felt just as worried about Xemnas sending more scouts as Riku did. It was because of that fear that Riku fought sleep now.

There was a gentle knock on the door. Riku sat up and swallowed dryly.

"Hello?" he called quietly to the door.

The knob twisted and a low light emitted from a lantern preceded Kairi into the room. Riku's shoulders relaxed as he recognized her. She smiled coyly as she neared his bed and stood holding the lantern between them.

"I didn't think you would be sleeping yet, even if you had a tiring day. I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No," Riku whispered back, "I haven't slept yet. I don't think I want to until I know Saix isn't going to step through that door."

"Yeah, same here," Kairi chuckled.

When the silence stretched between them and the lantern failed to chase away all the shadows on his face, Kairi pulled up a chair and sat next to the bed. Riku sighed quietly as she did so.

"Kairi, I'm not really feeling up for company."

"Silly, I'd like to remind you we're best friends," she laughed.

Riku snorted and smirked but her words did sting; he hadn't been a good friend over the last few months.

"Riku, are you upset with us for not coming to rescue you?" Kairi asked quietly.

"I don't think so," Riku replied and felt a pang of guilt for her sadness.

"Were you scared when they took you? Were you angry with us then?"

"Angry? With you? Why would I be angry with you? I did it to myself and under Diz's orders."

Riku chose to ignore Kairi's other question but not to quit the conversation. Looking at her then she seemed changed for the worse. Kairi didn't smile as much and she had traded her happy flare for dim and steady flame. With the track that her questions were travelling, Riku assumed her change had a lot to do with him when it shouldn't. He told her so.

"Whatever happened to me was because of my decisions. Don't blame yourself."

"I know, but I did for a while, until the night that Organization man, Xaldin you said? Until he came for Naminé," Kairi nodded to herself sadly. Riku thought she had bowed her head to hide her tears but when she looked up her eyes blazed. In a stronger tone she said, "I still feel horrible for letting you go but I'm starting to understand that I really couldn't have done anything. But that doesn't mean I can never do anything or fear everything."

"I'm not afraid," Riku said quietly. He looked to Sora but the boy had hid his face under the covers now. Calmly he said, "I think there are less people to fear with the death of Xemnas' dogs, but there's still Xemnas and Saix. Xemnas will be furious and Saix is cold but seems to love his vengeance. Neither have anything to lose except the war. Now would have been the perfect time to be undercover. If I could have assassinated them now the war would probably dissolve."

Kairi looked at Riku glumly and didn't seem able to comment. A groggy voice spoke from behind Riku.

"Why do you think you have to do everything by yourself?" Sora asked with his eyes barely open, but glowering all the same.

"Sorry for waking you."

"Don't be because apparently I need to talk some sense into you," Sora huffed as he rubbed his eyes and sat up.

"You've only been asleep for a couple-"

"You guys and your stupid aloofness," Sora said loudly as he completely ignored and interrupted Riku. "And I don't mean you, Kairi. You've got your shit sorted out. Sorry."

Kairi giggled as she turned the knob on the side of the lantern and the shadows sunk backwards. Sora pointed at Riku.

"I'm talking about you and about Axel," Sora finished quietly.

"Axel and I are not a like."

"Yeah, in some ways you are."

Riku stared at Sora with his lips in a stiff line. If Sora had seen Axel as he was now. The guy was a wild fire in an oil field. If Riku had any place in that picture he would be the twisted and black metal of the oil drilling mechanisms.

"I've been thinking a lot about you and especially Axel. I'm kind of wondering how he is now," Sora murmured as he looked down at the sheets. Kairi and Riku bowed their heads with him. Sora shook his head and said angrily, "You both thought you could protect everyone on your own."

"We are on different sides," Riku said firmly.

"I don't think we had to be!"

"Sora, you shouldn't overexert yourself," Kairi cautioned.

"Well, we _didn't_ have to be," Sora said in a lower tone. He shook his head and held such sorrow in his eyes as he said, "We could have waited together to see where the real danger was. We're stronger together. Where you and Axel differ is that Axel followed Roxas and you run away. No more running for you and I hope Axel's not following Roxas now."

There was a pensive pause after Sora's words then both Kairi and Riku made to speak at the same time. Riku waved Kairi on.

"Sora, there's something I need to tell you. It's to do with your brother," she said sadly. Both Sora and Riku focused on her and she looked shyly at her hands as she continued, "I was there when Roxas was killed."

"Oh..." Sora murmured.

"Axel was also captured by our soldiers that day, but at night he was set free. By Naminé and me."

Riku's eyes widened in surprise and Kairi gave him a coy smile.

"Well that's lucky that you did. Axel helped Riku escape," Sora said with just as odd a look on his face. Riku supposed Sora wasn't quite sure how to feel about his brother's murderer being set free, but of course he saw the good that came from it.

"It wasn't really lucky," Kairi admitted. She gave Riku a furtive look as she murmured, "Axel said he would free Riku if we let him out. And before either of you say anything, I think you should know that it wasn't freedom that Axel wanted in exchange for Riku's freedom. He wanted to be able to bury Roxas and in a specific place."

Riku knew what he thought about Axel's request but he wasn't sure how Roxas' brother felt. Kairi and Riku turned to look at Sora. The boy was looking off to the side with a frown on his face. Sora thumbed at the corners of his eyes and turned to Kairi.

"By the farmhouse or in the river glade?" Sora asked her.

"What?"

"Are either of those the places he said he wanted to bury my brother?"

"Well, he spoke to Naminé, but I think she mentioned a river."

Sora nodded and said hollowly, "That makes sense."

Riku watched Sora play with his sheets. After a minute of waiting for Sora to speak, Riku reached over to grab his hand. In a gentle voice Riku spoke.

"Sora, I don't think Axel's coming back. He isn't always there. You know, lucid. And last time I spoke with him he didn't seem too attached to the living world. We can bury Roxas wherever you want and he won't have to know."

"I don't know," Sora said as he dragged his eyes across his knees to Riku's gaze. Sora frowned as he asked, "Is that what you think I should do?"

"If I were in your position I would bury him where I wanted," Riku said boldly. Sora continued to frown as Riku continued to speak, "I would not forgive Axel for what he has done, at least not without a lot of atonement .Besides, if Roxas had passed naturally then it would be you deciding where his grave would be."

"No, if Roxas had passed naturally and Axel was still around then I would talk to him and we both would decide what to do. And," Sora cleared his throat and played with Riku's hand before saying, "and I don't doubt that my brother loved Axel to his dying breath. This isn't about revenge for what Axel did, this is about loving my little brother. I wish I could speak with Axel once more, maybe try to stop him...Do you know where he is or how to get a hold of him?"

"He may be at the farmhouse sometime soon but I don't know when or if he'll be alone. He wouldn't say what he was planning, only what he wanted me to do," Riku replied with a roll of his shoulders. It was Sora's decision where his brother would lie but Riku did have his own feelings.

"Sora," Kairi said gently as she smiled apologetically, "I also have to suggest that you don't go camp out in the snow to wait for Axel."

"Yeah, I know."

"I can ask Diz to keep you informed about any sightings of Axel."

"Thanks, Kairi."

Kairi turned to Riku who gave her a brief nod. She smiled sadly at him and stood with the lantern back in hand.

"I'll let you two sleep now. I just have one more thing."

Kairi reached into her shirt pocket and withdrew a letter. She handed it to Riku with the explanation, "It's actually from Diz. He said he would visit you when you're ready. Alright, call if you need anything, I'll be just down the hall."

Riku and Sora muttered goodbyes to her. Sora laid his head back on the pillow when she had left and watched Riku as he opened the envelope and scanned the letter by the moonlight the window allowed. With impassive features Riku took in what he needed from the letter and placed it on his bedside table after a couple seconds perusal.

"What's it say?" Sora asked sleepily.

"Just a welcome home, an apology, a request and something about an Organization member," he replied as he too settled into his bed.

"Is that all you're gonna tell me?" Sora yawned.

"The request was for me to take Leon's place," Riku murmured after a brief hesitation.

"At the orphanage?"

"In the war."

Sora raised his head to get a better view of Riku and lay back down.

"How do you feel about that?"

"I don't know if I could do that. I'm not Leon and I barely feel like me."

"You can always take the request as an honour but not actually take the position," Sora suggested. Riku chuckled in his throat. He rolled onto his back and frowned at the ceiling.

"And the Organization member?" Sora asked demurely.

"It wasn't about Axel. It's about Saix and how he-"

The door to their room banged open and the room became glaringly bright. Their names were called in panicked voices as many eyes and many guns swept the room. Riku had already rolled to the floor and sat crouched by the bed with his fists up. Sora had hopped out of bed as well and was part way into a crouch when he recognized the soldiers.

"Hayner? Olette?"

Sora and Riku shared a look before straightening up and staring at Olette's patrol. For once Olette looked just as riled as Hayner and her lips were drawn back in a tense snarl. Riku steadied himself with the bed as he watched them prowl around for a minute more before lowering their guns.

"What the hell are you doing?" Riku asked.

"Looking for that fucking redheaded murderer," Hayner spat.

"He's not here, Hayner, so at ease soldier," Olette said as her own feathers smoothed.

"Then he's a liar too," Hayner snorted.

"You thought Axel was here?" Riku asked the soldiers.

Sora frowned, "In our room?"

"Because he said he had you," Hayner replied as he kicked at the furniture.

"When did you speak to Axel?" Sora asked as he stepped out from behind his bed. Hayner looked shocked as Sora neared him and asked his question again plaintively.

"Like I'd talk to the guy. Olette was the one who heard him. Why do you-"

"You spoke to him?" Sora turned to Olette to ask.

She had moved over to the blinded windows to peek outside. At Sora's question she turned and shook her head.

"No, I heard him over the radio," she said as she unhooked the battered box from her waist and clicked it on. The radio _buzz_ed but no voice came through so she clicked it off again. Olette nodded at Riku as she said, "We're still keeping tabs on the Organization's favourite frequencies but your codes are no longer good. Except that ten minutes ago a clear message came through. Axel's voice said he had you and Sora. Diz identified Xemnas' voice responding, but we couldn't make out much of what was said."

"Did he say where he was?" Sora asked.

"Yes but Xemnas spoke in code so we can't make out what they were talking about."

"You have no idea at all?"

"Look," said Hayner coming up behind Sora to stand with Olette, "I'll admit that for these kinds of things it was nice to have someone at the Organization, no matter how much of stupid idea it was."

Riku simply stared at Hayner, a rock to the bee's stinger.

"So unless you're still buddy-buddy with eight, ten and five then we can't decode the message. Besides, why would you want to go looking for the guy that-"

"Hayner!" Olette barked.

"It's a legitimate question!"

"But you have no bedside manners when asking."

"Well, I want to hear a good reason before I let Sora get himself killed. Riku? What are you doing, man?"

Riku motioned for Sora to get dressed as he slipped his coat on too. Riku didn't answer Hayner because he wasn't at all sure why he was doing this. It was probably a whole bunch of reasons patched together in a quilt that gave him a solid why for doing so. Because the sad look in Sora's eye made him look like he was mourning his brother all over again. Because Riku would rather be out hunting Xemnas than waiting to be hunted. Because, despite how Axel had abused him, Riku felt indebted to the boy who had given the little he had left for Riku's freedom. Maybe Diz's letter had gotten to his head. Maybe Riku just didn't like loose ends.

Olette grabbed his arm and gave him a stern look. Riku continued wiggling his feet into his boots as he gave her an impassive look.

"From what I heard over the radio Axel won't be alone," she said with an even sterner look. "And if Xemnas is going to be there then he won't go without a guard."

"I know the risk, but I this is just something I – we need to do," Riku corrected himself when Sora shot him a pointed look. When Olette just folded her arms Riku reassured, "Since most of Xemnas' trusted soldiers are dead and this is a matter to do with the Organization's inability to keep its prisoners, I bet this will be a small and quiet operation."

"And what if I say I can't give you clearance to do that, _soldier_?" Olette said as she moved to stand before the door with her legs spread and arms ever crossed. She tilted her head questioningly and smirked daringly.

Riku bowed his head as he grinned back. He raised his head with a sigh and pointed over his shoulder with his thumb to the letter on the table.

"Read Diz's letter and you'll see that you don't have the authorization to stop me."

Hayner let out a sharp gasp while Olette's brows simply rose in surprise. Her stance lost its rigidity and her smirk became an astonished rising smile.

"You're second in command now?"

"I don't think it's the smartest decision I'll ever make but if you're going to stop me then I guess my destiny is calling me."

"Then I am stopping you," she said as she raised her hand to salute him and stepped aside.

Sora came to stand next to Riku and they both gave Olette questioning looks.

She shrugged as she laughed, "Diz needs someone like you if we're going to win this anytime soon. And it was nice to have your eyes in the Organization but I'd rather have your strength with us, sir."

Olette's wide smile was the last thing Riku glimpsed before she surged forward and embraced him and then Sora.

"It's also nice to have your friendship back too."

"Thanks guys," Sora said as he released Olette.

Hayner snorted as he said, "I didn't say anything about respecting either of you, but still, good luck, I guess."

"Thanks," Riku said and stuck out his hand to the other soldier.

"Pretty sure you're not alright up there," Hayner said tapping his head, and shook Riku's hand. Hayner frowned when Riku's hand still hung in the space between them after a good shake.

"I'll need your gun, soldier," Riku said with a smirk as he curled his fingers in a gesture to receive Hayner's gun.


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer:** And 30 Seconds to Mars to end the main part of the story. What a surprise, huh?

* * *

><p><strong>Vox Populi<strong>

_Ever want to be free?_

_Do you even remember?_

_Want to be God and devil like me?_

_Ever want to just stop?_

_Do you want to surrender?_

_Or fight for victory?..._

After five minutes of Riku and Olette arguing with Hayner over handing over his gun, Riku and Sora were making their way down the hall. Olette had keys to one of Twilight Town's five snowmobiles and lent the vehicle and a radio to Riku.

They didn't speak as they walked down the hospitals halls so as not to alert Naminé or Kairi. Second in command or not, Kairi would stop them and Naminé would write them off as mentally unfit. Once outside the old preschool the boys made their way in the early morning light towards the main hub of the Regiment to where the snowmobiles were kept. On their way over Sora voiced his thoughts.

"I thought you wouldn't even go let alone take me with you."

"I'm not exactly sure why I'm going either and as for you," Riku laughed, "I guess I just don't want you out of my sights."

It wasn't a lie; Riku was worried that Xemnas would send Saix to Twilight Town when he arrived at the farmhouse and found that Axel had lied. He just couldn't think of a good way to say 'I would like to just wish you off this planet, Sora, until Xemnas and the Organization are dead' and so he had to settle with keeping him in his sights at all times.

"It's funny, I kind of don't want _you_ to go since you don't really have to or want to," Sora said as they entered the compound. "If I asked you not to go would you stay behind?"

"Didn't I just say I don't want to take my eyes off you? Are you asking me to stay behind?" Riku asked.

They paused outside the shed that housed the snowmobiles. Riku had a hand on the door and his eyes trained on Sora's face. Was Sora asking him to stay behind? A smile crept onto Sora's lips and he shook his head.

"Just giving you a taste of your own medicine." he said and shoved Riku's hand aside to open the door.

* * *

><p>Despite the fifteen minute ride to the farmhouse the sky didn't lighten and the sun remained hidden behind heavy clouds. It was a windy morning and even through his winter jacket, Riku could feel Sora shivering. He cranked the fuel handle harder to drive them forward faster but the worried thoughts remained in the back of his head. They were speeding towards a man who wanted Sora and Riku, and had yet to get them both, all in an attempt to save a boy who didn't care if he died. Riku feared that this would be a triple suicide. For precautionary reasons, Riku cut the snowmobile's engine in a grove of trees a couple kilometers away from the farmhouse.<p>

Maybe it was the lack of light when the sun should have been glaring off the snow, but Sora didn't say a word and they both kept close to one another. Sora slid his shoulder under Riku's arm and Riku held Sora close to his side as they made their way through the trees.

The wind made the branches rattle eerily and the sky grew darker still. Riku was almost relieved to feel the wind's harsh blow when the woods thinned out. He was very thankful that they didn't grow too thin when he caught sight of a jeep making its way across the meadow the farmhouse was in. Both boys froze where they stood then crept with their spines nearly parallel with the ground back into the woods. They had settled down behind a felled tree by the time the jeep stopped at the foot of the dwelling. Riku tensed when he recognized Xemnas and Saix as they got out of the jeep. The General and his subordinate's voice carried easily with the wind and didn't sink into the crusted snow.

"Saix, take the rear," Xemnas instructed as he prowled towards the porch with his gun out. "I want you to watch our backs for any possible patrols. Axel reported no other enemies on the premises but with the number of disappearances I wouldn't discount their presence."

"Yes, they may just have captured some of your finest. Yet Sergeant Axel prevails, of course," Saix said. Even with the distance between them, Riku could hear the disdain in Saix's voice.

Sora huddled closer to press his lips to Riku's ear and breathe, "Do you think Axel's inside?"

"Yes, probably," Riku murmured to Sora but kept his eyes trained on Xemnas, "Axel wanted us to board up the house for a reason, likely as a trap. C'mon."

Riku stood hunched back and limped through the trees towards the back of the farmhouse. Sora trotted at his side and already his cheeks were apple red.

"Why are we going to the back?" Sora huffed.

"Axel asked me to board up every door and window except for-"

"Roxas'," Sora supplied. His spine straightened and realization settled in his eyes. "That will be his emergency exit or maybe he's waiting in the room."

"It's the best place to start," Riku nodded.

They had to cast off their cover and break for the house when they came parallel with its back. So far they had heard nothing except for the sound of footsteps on the farmhouse's porch and the muffled _bang_ of the door closing. They made it to the back of the house where Roxas' window was above the garden shed.

"We can climb on top," Sora said and sprinted ahead to grab a hold of the roof. Sora's arm wasn't strong enough to lift him up so Riku gave him a boost. It was then Riku's turn to kick off the ground with his one good leg and have Sora pull him the rest of the way. They crouched below the window's ledge and looked in with craned necks.

"I don't see anyone," Sora said dismally. He got off his knees to shuffle precariously on the small roof towards the house's back wall. He pushed and strained on the window but it merely creaked and groaned without budging. Riku was just making his way over to help Sora try to lift it up when his friend gave a frustrated cry.

"He's nailed it shut!" Sora said stressfully after one more vain push.

They crouched on the roof and let the wind blow through their coats and freeze their bones. Riku couldn't stand the heartbroken expression on Sora's face as he stared in his brother's window like a stray. Neither voiced their sorrows and instead sat still with downcast eyes

"We've done more than we had to already," Riku said gently as he laid a hand on Sora's thigh. Sora had his nose pressed to the glass and his fist curled at his side. Riku tapped Sora's hand and he turned to look down at Riku. "We shouldn't break the glass unless we know where everyone is inside the house."

Sora opened his mouth, likely to protest, when the wind blew strongly. Sora closed his mouth with a confused look on his face and raised his nose instead.

"Do you smell something burning?" he asked. Sora turned back to the window to peer inside while Riku lifted his head to sniff the air and was lucky he did so.

In a panic, Riku screamed for Sora to duck down and tried to launch himself at his friend to cover him. Startled, Sora slipped from Riku's grasp and fell in a heap at the door of the shed, lucky to have missed the few bullets that whizzed through the air.

The gun's holder continued to march forward despite having missed both his targets. Saix's eyes were as cold as the wind and his lips were in a grave flat line. The sight of his once superior froze Riku's thought; the gun he had teased from Hayner went completely forgotten with Saix's advance. Saix raised his gun again as Sora rolled with a groan to his hands and knees.

"Saix, don't!" Riku bellowed. He leapt off the shed in front of Sora and yelled again as he landed hard on his bad knee. Through bleary eyes he looked up at Saix who now stood six feet in front of them and his gun moving from Riku to the boy Riku guarded. Riku saw Saix's lips curl along with his finger over the trigger, but he stopped himself from pulling it.

"Do not reach for your gun," Saix snarled as he peered over Riku's shoulder at Sora who was trying to nudge his way to Riku's side.

Riku looked up at Saix and sat stiffly, trying to keep Sora behind him by bobbing and weaving. Saix's eyes swept coolly over Sora before he looked with an unimpressed expression down at Riku.

"He's the boy from your photo," Saix said as he nodded to Sora.

"Saix, don't shoot him," Riku pleaded. He tried to sit up straight but the fall had wrenched his knee. Riku gasped out, "You have what you want already!"

"It seems I was mistaken when I said I understood you," Saix said coolly as he looked down on the boys, "Just as mistaken as you are now about me. I do not have what I want."

"I do understand. You want to kill me because I'm Diz's apprentice. You want Diz to feel the same loss you felt."

Saix cocked his head to the side and he asked shrewdly, "Something you found out while walking among us?"

"No, Diz wrote in a letter about what he had done. He said it was an accident and even years later he's still sorry."

Saix blinked and said impassively, "I didn't rise through the ranks and come this far for an apology."

Saix shifted the gun's muzzle to Riku's face. Sora cried out and nearly scratched Riku's eye out of its socket as he wrapped Riku's head in his arms. Again Saix paused in his pursuit and emotion crossed his face.

"Saix, Diz-"

All three of them flinched as one of the living room's boarded windows blew out. Fire roared from it and spat soot into the snow. Riku felt Sora's heart vying with his to outpace his in fearful beats. Saix seemed captivated by the fire and the blackening snow. If Riku hadn't been so fearful for his and Sora's life he might have felt sympathy for Saix. By his quick perusal of Diz's letter, Saix had gotten his scars in similar settings, and not just his visible scars.

"Saix, Diz is in pain now," Riku rasped as the smoke belched from the house. He shuffled to the side with Sora to keep away from the licking flames.

"In pain?" Saix asked curiously and turned to watch Riku shuffle about.

"He's an old man with a lot of regrets. He's had a heart attack and he's not going to live much longer. He's scared," Riku said what he believed. By the tear tracks he had seen on Diz's letter he didn't doubt he was wrong.

Saix stared at Riku with interest, all the while keeping his gun trained on the huddled boys. Riku sighed as he tried to detach himself from Sora and succeeded in getting his head clear of Sora's grasp.

Resignedly Riku bargained, "You can still shoot me-"

"Riku! Don't!" Sora barked.

"-but let Sora go first. You can end your own war, but you may start up another one with its end," Riku reasoned. Awkwardly he looked down at Sora and laughed as he said, "I guess if I'm being honest you won't have to worry about that. Sora's got too good a heart for revenge."

Saix stared down at him and he did his best to stare levelly back.

After a pause, Saix said with the first hint of warmth Riku had ever heard pass the man's lips, "My friend Lea had a similar heart."

More glass shattered, but this time it came without a blast of fire. Glass rained down on Sora and Riku as Roxas' bedroom window was broken. Expectantly, Riku and Sora looked up in hopes to see Axel clambering onto the roof but instead they saw the General leaning out.

The fire roared and Saix's gun went off. Riku and Sora closed their eyes and held each other tightly.

"Are you still alive?" Sora whispered close to Riku's ear.

"What would you say if I said no?" Riku whispered back and felt his heart still when Sora had spoken.

They detached from one another enough to see that neither had received Saix's bullet.

"I'll be visiting Diz sometime in the next couple nights. Do not stop me," Saix said as he tucked his gun away and watched Xemnas disappear into the flaming house.

Sora and Riku turned away from Xemnas to stare at Saix.

"Did he – did you just shoot your own General?" Sora asked disbelievingly.

"Xemnas was just a stepping stone, granted a large one, to get to Diz. He too had fault in my friend's death," Saix said coldly about the man who had trained him carefully. He turned towards the forest, in the general direction of Twilight Town. He paused once more at the edge of the woods to stare hard at Roxas' window. Then he smiled to himself as he said, "I wasted my time on that soldier. He was nothing like my friend and he wanted nothing to do with me, just that blond boy."

Saix disappeared into the woods. When they couldn't see his silhouette through the trees anymore, Sora got to his feet and pushed off from Riku.

"Sora! Where are you-?"

"I don't have a clue what Saix was talking about except that he mentioned Axel was still inside. He could be alive, Riku. In there!" Sora yelled as he pointed to the growling and flaming house. Sora didn't spare Riku another word as he bolted along the house to look for a place to enter.

"Sora! It's too dangerous, you idiot!" Riku snarled as he tore after Sora with a limping gait.

* * *

><p>Along a one of the living room's walls Sora found another blown out window, but the fire had been extinguished when part of the roof caved in and drenched it with snow. He could hear Riku calling his name vaguely over his own screams of Axel's name. The world shimmered as he stepped from the cold outside world into the searing building. That place had been his house for over a decade and now nothing looked familiar. The curtains had burned away and the furniture lay in flaming, twisted heaps by the doors. Nearly everything was screaming with fire and still the house looked dark with smoke.<p>

"Axel!" Sora called wildly, the fire throwing him into a frenzy. The dialogue in his head kept alternating between asking him why he was doing this and yelling at him to find Axel.

The floor above Sora, where Roxas' room would be, gave way.

"Sora!" Riku called from the window where he had entered.

Sora's heart jumped in joy and surprise when he recognized the flaming heap that had fallen from the room above as Roxas' bed and cradled in it was Axel. Riku called Sora again and soon he would start heading toward Riku, but not before stumbling through his once home and dragging Axel off the bed.

The boy groaned as Sora pulled him free of the singeing blankets and again Sora's heart jumped wildly. Axel –

"He's still alive!" Sora shrieked back at Riku.

Sora heard Riku swear and within seconds Riku was at Sora's side and grabbing a hold of Axel's other arm. Together the two boys dragged Axel across splintered furniture and blackened floors and out into the snow. Once at a safe distance from the crumbling house, Sora and Riku stopped tugging and walking.

With bated breath, Sora dropped to his knees at Axel's head and began calling his name and tapping his face. Sora felt Riku's sympathetic hand on his back but refused to give up. After a couple more seconds Axel coughed and his eyes fluttered.

The first word that passed Axel's charred lips was... "Roxas."

Sora closed his eyes and sighed sadly. He lay his hand over the one Axel had on his chest. Axel's hands felt unbearably hot and now clear of the smoke, Sora could see a wound just beneath his hand. It was more than a burn and much, much deeper than a graze. It was likely that the _ha-haha-ha_ breathing Axel was doing was because of a punctured lung.

"Axel...what were you thinking?" Sora said as he dismally shook his head. No kind person would want to see their worst enemy so burned and pressed for breath. Sora wasn't even sure Axel was his enemy. He didn't feel hate just sadness. How did this help Roxas? Through frowning lips Sora whispered, "What were you trying to do?"

"I...was trying t-to find a way...to make i-it right again. Roxas...I'm sorry. It's the one thing," Axel paused to lick his lips and cough.

Sora tried not to get bleary-eyed as he thought, _he doesn't know who I am. He's dying and he's so full of regret. He doesn't even understand that Roxas is gone. That I'm not Roxas._

Axel seemed to have a dreg of reason still left in him for he frowned and uttered confusedly, "How are you...I don't understand..."

"Axel, it doesn't matter," Sora said gently. He didn't think it would help Axel to spend his final minutes of breath telling him Roxas was in fact dead and Axel was talking to his grieving brother. With that lens of sobriety, it really didn't matter.

Axel continued to press the subject, no doubt plaguing his mind, asking patchily, "You don't h-hate-"

"No, I don't hate you. I was angry at first, but now..." Sora sighed and couldn't help himself from falling sadly against Axel. With his forehead pressed against the dying boy's he got a clear view of Axel's smile. Then his smile began to slacken.

"Axel, wait!" Sora called agonizingly and he gripped Axel's hand harder, pressing him to stay for a moment longer. "Just let me say one more thing."

Axel blinked and wheezed pitifully, but still alive.

"Axel," Sora sobbed, not caring whether Axel heard this from his lips or Roxas' so long as he heard. "I forgive you."

Axel's eyes reflected Sora's happily and then they reflected everything with little choice. Sora timorously took his hand back and slid Axel's eyelids closed. He felt Riku crouch next to him. Sora turned around and pressed his face into Riku's chest.

"I'm sorry for running into the house, but I just had to."

"It's okay," Riku soothed as he held Sora to his heart.

"Please don't ever let this be us," Sora whispered. He felt Riku tense and uttered a tight throated agreement.

* * *

><p>Riku radioed back to base the events of his and Sora's adventure. When Olette had heard that Xemnas was dead she immediately sought Diz's advice. The man sounded very relieved and also very tired. Cautiously, Riku also told Diz about the finer details involving Saix of Xemnas' demise and hoped that the news didn't cause the man another heart attack. The radio was silent for a moment before Diz sighed resignedly and said that he deserved as much and thanked Riku for his honesty.<p>

Diz instructed him and Sora to wait at the farmhouse for assistance. Less than half an hour later a jeep roared into the meadow and jerked to a stop not ten feet from Riku and Sora crouched in the snow. The doors banged open and two rather haughty looking girls marched angrily towards them. Riku and Sora were forced to sit in the snow for a ten minute tirade of how irresponsible they were from Kairi and Naminé. They had expected this kind of aloof and stupid behaviour from Riku but not from Sora. Naminé swore that the minute they were back in town both would be bound in their beds for a mental assessment. If they behaved then Naminé may reconsider assigning them straightjackets.

Once their egos had been sorely licked, the girls helped them into the jeep and gently lifted Axel's body onto a stretcher to put in the back. The rest of the way home was spent in silence with Kairi and Naminé shooting each other heated and worried looks over the boys who sagged against each other in the back.

Riku felt better about returning home this time, but he still wasn't looking forward to being cornered and pressed for questions. He opted to see Diz after receiving medical attention, believing that a sick old man would have one of the quietest rooms in the hospital. Unfortunately that old man happened to once be a beloved teacher.

Riku respectfully removed his hat as he limped into Diz's room along with Sora, Naminé, Kairi, Olette and Hayner. Pence was already at Diz's bedside, perusing through reports for their old school teacher. Upon Riku's entry, Diz looked up and smiled. Riku didn't say a word as he took a seat next to Diz and waited for the old man to speak first.

Diz's smile turned to a sorrowful one as he stared at Riku. Thinly he said, "Riku, I haven't been feeling as young and hopeful as I had been. For a while I felt I had very little in this world, but with your return I feel as if I have a great deal more. And with all of you in this room I feel almost as if I have the best part of my life back. I really should have retired as a teacher and not as a war veteran."

"I think you've done the best you could," Riku said with a faltering grin he had meant to be keen.

"Yes, the best I could but not the best outcomes it seems," Diz said as he leaned back into his pillow. "I really must apologize for all that I have put you through, Riku. It wasn't fair to put so much pain and hate onto you. I am truly sorry."

"Yeah, I've got quite a few apologies to hand out too," Riku admitted with a poignant look at Sora. Riku bowed his head as he said gently, "I forgive you, professor."

Diz chuckled deep in his throat before saying dolefully, "That's the thing with us who have left scars on others and walked away with blood on our hands. We don't seem to believe we deserve forgiveness, but give it time. If there is one last lesson I can give to you it is that all wounds heal with time, but some heal better with the nicer feelings of this world. Friendship makes a better tourniquet than barbed hate ever does."

"Right, I'll keep that in mind," Riku said with another softer poignant look at Sora. Sora smiled and nudged him gently as he took up Riku's hand. He turned back to Diz with a more serious expression as he said, "But now we need a way to end this war. I don't think the Organization can survive without Xemnas or any of its high ranking soldiers. All of its senior officers are dead. It just needs to be disassembled once and for all."

The rest of the room murmured agreement with Riku.

"How true that is," Diz said as he looked at the young faces surrounding him.

"So what do we do then?" Hayner asked, not sure whether he should have posed the question to Diz or Riku as his eyes flickered from one to the other.

When Riku turned to look at Diz the entire room followed his lead and stared at the old man. Diz laughed and said, "I really don't think this is my decision to make. You look to me, Riku, while everyone else is looking to you."

"Fine," Riku snorted and turned to his friends, "then I guess we take the fight to Hallow Bastion."

No one objected, in fact Hayner smiled excitedly. They began spinning plans for the next couple of days, starting with Riku heading a patrol with his friends to enter Hallow Bastion and push for the final fight. It was likely that he wouldn't fight due to his leg, but his presence would rally his friends and have the exact opposite effects on the remaining Organization members; to them it would seem like a ghost leading and army of wailing demons. For this picture to happen, everyone who could fight would and Naminé would be close by to help. Their planning stretched on until the sunset. Diz grew weary while all his students talked vigorously. Naminé was the voice of reason and she urged them to take their talk elsewhere and let Diz rest. Everyone said their goodbyes and exited the room. Riku and Sora were the last ones to leave and they remained in their seats next to Diz's bed.

Diz turned wearily towards them. He blinked slowly a couple times before saying, "You have news for me."

"Yeah, Saix isn't dead and he's not into forgiveness," Riku said.

"I know," Diz nodded.

"He said he would come here," Sora said worriedly as he looked at his professor.

"I know that too."

"Should we post guards or send for the king's assistance? With Xemnas' leadership gone the king shouldn't be in any danger now. And the war shouldn't escalate either," Riku reasoned.

"I wouldn't doubt Saix's ability. He's mad and well trained for war. No, this should end now," Diz said and closed his eyes as he settled in.

Sora and Riku shared a long look. Then Sora turned to smile at Diz and laid his hand over the old man's.

"Thanks for teaching us, professor. Even if I was the class clown."

"It was both a challenge and a joy," Diz replied with a smile.

"Yeah, thanks for teaching us," Riku echoed and stood. He looked down on Diz and met the old man's eye seriously as he said, "I really do forgive you."

"And I feel calmer for knowing that," Diz murmured.

The next morning Naminé entered Diz's room only to find his window broken open and the professor dead. His eyes were closed and there was no sign of foul play except for the window.

Despite Diz's passing, Riku continued on with his plan and all of Twilight Town's Regiment marched to Hallow Bastion the next morning. What they saw when they came out of the woods, singing and stomping in preparation for the final heave, made every last person stop.

Hallow Bastion had been razed. The horizon where the town lay vied with the rising sun to be the brightest and reddest blot lighting the land. The citizens fled their homes along with some of the sanest Organization members. Buildings burned and stores had been ransacked while houses toppled. Everyone seemed to run about wildly except for around the Organization's headquarters where a small mob of black coated figures remained standing, looking uncertain about what to do.

When Riku, with Sora linked to his side, walked up to the small group of soldiers they were prepared for a fight. They had their weapons drawn and friends at their sides. To their surprise, when the Organization soldiers spotted the Twilight Town force they just stood stunned on the spot. Riku ordered everyone to lower their weapons when he realized none of their enemies were armed and the oldest looked to be about sixteen. For a moment the Twilight Town soldiers stared quizzically at the Organization members and the Organization members stared back frightfully.

Feeling a little bit awkward, Riku asked the oldest looking boy, "What's happened here?"

"Saix called everyone in town for a meeting last night," the boy said and immediately his peers began to mutter. The boy turned back to Riku and said fearfully, "Maybe you should speak to our senior member?"

"Fine, where is he or she?" Riku asked.

One of the group ran off to the headquarters and the Twilight Town forces were made to wait for his return. Eventually the little nobody returned and huffed, "He's our most senior officer."

Riku looked to where the little boy gestured and saw Demyx hobbling on a crutch out of headquarters. Demyx stopped in his tracks and blanched when he caught sight of all the Twilight Town uniforms. Riku sighed and hobbled the rest of the distance to the frightened soldier.

"H-hey, Riku," Demyx said nervously as Riku approached.

"Hello, Demyx. Can you tell me what the hell is going on here?" Riku asked.

"Can't you tell?" Demyx asked wide-eyed as he looked about himself, "Everyone's gone crazy!"

"Yeah, but why?"

"Because of what Saix did," Demyx whispered and a haunted look fell over his eyes like a dark veil.

Riku was about gruffly ask what had Saix done but Demyx spoke quickly and fearfully after a brief pause.

"He called a meeting last night and everyone showed up. He said he had some information for all of Hallow Bastion. He told us Xemnas was dead and that the Organization was in need of a new leader, but most of its senior officers had also been killed. Then he called me up on stage and said next to him I had the most seniority. He laughed at that," Demyx's face lost all of its colour as he said, "Then Saix said we would all be burned alive like Xemnas and he – he fricken' shot himself in the head, man."

"Oh," Riku said as he shared a bewildered look with Sora.

"Then what happened?" Sora pressed, not looking forward to hearing it.

"Everyone went crazy," Demyx said, gesturing to the burning buildings and panicked streets.

"So..." Riku said confusedly and shook his head. He really wasn't sure what to do or say. He had expected guns and glaring eyes, had mentally prepared for blood and shrieks in the pre-dawn. What was he to do with boys, legitimately _boys_, who were looking to him, their enemy, for answers. He was stumped. Luckily Sora and his linear logic was there.

"So...you're the Organization's leader then?" Sora asked Demyx.

"Man, I am not cut out for leadership," Demyx complained, "I just want to take a nap."

"Then surrender," Sora said with a shrug, "You've got the power."

"Yeah?" Demyx said, excitement dawning in his voice. Sora nodded. Demyx smiled wearily and then frowned as he said, "How do I surrender?"

* * *

><p>Even with Demyx's official surrender there was still some havoc in Hallow Bastion's streets. Half of Twilight Town's Regiment stay in Hallow Bastion to put out the fires and stop any rumbles of hostility while the other half returned to Twilight Town to guards its borders. There were some squabbles by no more than handfuls of teenagers with a lot of confusion and guns. Most of the town's people had taken off, presumably for the Citadel Ven where they could meld in with the vagabonds. There were others that followed Saix's lead and in the end their bodies were swallowed by the fire.<p>

Riku gave instructions the best he could to his soldiers while Sora helped Naminé with the wounded. The sun was setting by the time Riku ordered everyone to head for home. There was little more they could do there.

Sora was on his way to the jeeps when he heard music coming from the steps of the Organization's headquarters.

"Sora!" Riku called as Sora walked back the way he had come. With a tired sigh, Riku hopped down from the jeep and followed Sora.

Demyx was sitting on the steps, playing his sitar, when Sora approached.

"Uh, Demyx right?" Sora asked.

"Yeah, that's me. Roxas' brother right?" Demyx asked. He stopped playing and slapped a hand to his face. Through his fingers he muttered, "Sorry, oh man, sorry! I didn't mean to offend you, it's just I hung out with Roxas and Axel a couple times."

"Nah, it's fine," Sora said with a light laugh. Kindly Sora asked, "So what are you going to do, Demyx?"

"Now? I'm going to play my sitar, maybe write a song," Demyx said and strummed a little more.

"In a decimated Hallow Bastion?" Sora asked.

Riku had caught up to Sora by now and was looking down dismally at Demyx. Something about this scene made Riku feel horrible inside. At the same time, he also wanted to let out a derided snort; he knew Sora would be drawn to someone like Demyx. There were two peas that would laugh about how silly their pod was and chatter about just as meaningless subjects. Perhaps calling them the two halves of the same walnut was a nicely tailored analogy.

Demyx didn't answer Sora right away and when he did he didn't answer the question that was posed.

"Y'know, when Saix said that I was next in line for seniority I thought 'Nah, that can't be right. Axel's got way more experience than me' and then the thought – _bang _–hit me. Axel's gone."

Demyx wrung his sitar's neck before huffing out a sigh and dropping his head into his hands.

"Axel's gone and followed Roxas. Zexion's dead, Larxene and Xigbar. Now I'm not sure what to do."

Demyx looked up at Sora and received a sympathetic look. Then he caught sight of Riku and his eyes went wide. Riku pulled Sora back as Demyx's hand shot into his coat for what Riku thought would be a gun. Instead Demyx pulled out a tattered piece of paper and held it out to Riku.

"Sorry, man. My mind was kind of elsewhere and I almost forgot," Demyx said apologetically.

Riku looked at the scrap sceptically but Sora took it an unfolded it. Sora made a surprised noise and thrust the scrap into Riku's hand and began digging in his own pockets. Riku looked down at the paper and his eyes went wide when he realized that it was the part of the picture he had passed off to Demyx to burn months ago.

"You – you kept this?" Riku asked incredulously of Demyx.

"Yeah, well with how you were doing as our prisoner, I thought they were gonna kill you," Demyx shrugged and yawned, "So I thought I'd sneak it into your pocket after you were dead, I guess so you wouldn't be lonely. You were a pretty good superior and Axel had respect for you as a prisoner, so I thought, why not? I'm too lazy to pick flowers anyway."

Sora finished fishing through his pockets and pulled out his piece of the picture. He straightened some of the crumples and held it up to Riku's.

"We'll put the pieces back together," Riku said when they had completed the picture.

Demyx's music started up again, reminding the boys that some things were not so easily made whole. They shared a meaningful look before offering a hand to Demyx.

_...Here we are at the start, I can feel the beating of our hearts_

_Here we are at the start._

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Yeah. That's how the war ends. I don't have much else to say unless I add a couple "Ha ha ha ha"s in here somewhere. I laughed when I wrote it and I'm laughing a little right now as I write this note. I know it's a weird wrap up, but I have my reasons. My most basic reason was I just wanted to have fun. And I did. If you're curious about anymore reasons then shoot me a message or leave a review (I will respond). Same thing goes for if you feel horribly cheated from a bloody battle to the death.

Much love to you guys and I'll have the last two chapters up soon.


	23. Chapter 23: Diz and Saix

**Disclaimer:**What? Disclaimers can appear in _bonus_ chapters? No _way_! But yes _way_. 30 Seconds all the _way_...well, that was thoroughly lame.

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><p><em><strong>Night of the Hunter<strong>_

_One night of the hunter_

_One day I will get revenge_

_One night to remember_

_One day it'll all just end  
><em>

_Dear Riku,_

_This is only a fragment of the words that I wish to give to you, but for now it will sorely have to do. The night before this one I received word from two ecstatic young women that you were somewhere in this great wide world, but definitely not with the Organization. The hope and happiness I felt was too much for my old heart to bear, nonetheless I smile now as I remember the feeling of my heart swelling with more than just felicity. Riku, remain and welcome home, my dear student. I wish to see you soon so that I may ask for forgiveness for the estrangement I have been cause of as a slightly degraded, old man and not a letter-formatted coward._

_Secondly, I wish to make a request that is both selfish and very much for all of Twilight Town. It is unprofessional for a teacher to pick favourites and even more so to openly declare a choice student, however, I cannot foresee a future for me as anything but a retiree after the war. All my students were precious to me, including the ones who now wish for my lips to never utter another word. I have shifted my burdens onto my favourite student and you have done marvellously. I ask one more thing of you. Twilight Town has been limping along on the heart of this old man. My leadership was conservative and unyielding, yet the best decisions made were the ones I disapproved of. Those decisions were made by your brother, Leon, and I've seen modest beginnings of these radical and compassionate traits in your path. I ask of you this; take your brother's place and become the heart of this war. I know you have struggled with who you are and likely are questioning now whether Sora, Kairi or any of your other friends are safe in your presence. They have never been safer, not under my wing and not under Leon's if only because you care more for them. Please do this, Riku, for the eyes love to see patterns and mine have seen some many that I can predict several sequences in advance. Your brother didn't volunteer for second in command, he was volunteered by any number of factors: the citizens, the circumstances, his friends, his siblings. You and Leon are rather alike in some ways, and I believe I do see a pattern. While you look to me your friends are looking to you, and I am old, Riku. See this pattern now and decide whether to continue it. _

_The last matter I wish to discuss with you, for I fear my time dwindles with the Organization's defeat. I wish to enlighten you about my student left behind in Hallow Bastion and, more importantly, I think, my student's pupil. Saix, when I first met him, was much like yourself. He was an orphan boy who had even less than you. Hallow Bastion has never had a proper orphanage. I believe Saix never truly attended one for that reason. He didn't have a family like yours, Riku, but he had a friend. Lea was lively, spirited and curious to a fault. Saix has never been warm, but when roaming alleyways and racing down streets with Lea, he was brighter. You are not so impassive as Saix, but you, no doubt, understand how he must have felt about a friend like Lea that could light something in him to make the day a little more worthwhile. You care much the same way for Sora. _

_XXX_ The paper has been blotted here as if it had gotten wet. The ink has run and a new line is begun below the mess _XXX_

_Could you forgive me if I played a part in Sora's death?_

_XXX_ Same note as before. There are blots here too. A new line has begun below _XXX_

_Lea was curious and to a fault, but the true fault lies with me and my student at the time, Xemnas. Xemnas wasn't a general and I was Dr. Ansem at this time. Lea died due to Dr. Ansem's curiosity, neglect and pride in my pupil. Of course, there is no complete separation from the aging professor to the old man lying in his hospital bed. I'm not so cynical to say that people cannot change, all that I mean is a new spring can grow from the decay of an old plant. I did not learn my lessons properly with Xemnas, it seems; I still carry the faults that killed Lea. It is for these faults that I have not started this letter anew when it is clear a very sad and spiteful old man has shed tears over the rotten fruit of his ambition. I am, at best, half responsible for the death of Lea. At worst I am fully suited in fault. He died when Xemnas and I were testing inventions that were meant to dissuade enemies from attacking Hallow Bastion. Those fruits were worse than rotten; they are plague-like and have reduced a great amount of Twilight Town buildings to ash. Had I not been so proud of my pupil I would have noticed the destination the bricks of good intentions would eventually lead us to. It took Lea's burned body and the heavy wounds on a young Saix's face to wrench my head up._

_XXX_ The line written is almost unintelligible, but when squinted at with a candle burning bright behind the paper, reads "_I have never seen a boy so distraught to this day. He cried so XXX_ absolutely unintelligible_ XXX his arms while Lea's body grew colder._"

_Riku, I could never have foreseen the amount of damage my faults did that one day to the two orphans. One dead and gone, the other hurt and later twisted into someone capable of dragging this horse of a war onward on the animal's shaking knees. Xemnas may be in charge, but you know he does little more than making sure all his parts are working. Saix is the one who works. I may be a little crazy to say so, but I believe the war had gone on this long, and this hard for Twilight Town, solely because of one man's pain. Just one man ending so many lives. I wonder if one man can stop him._

_I am so sorry, to you and to Saix..._

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><p><em><strong>Mind of the hunter: Saix<strong>  
><em>

* * *

><p>It was a decade Saix spent with Xemnas. For those ten years he learned. The first eight months he was in grief. For three months he thought. For two years he plotted, obsessively. For four he waited. And then blissfully, the war began. He smiled.<p>

He was second in command from the first bullet fired to the last. Xemnas always had his hand on Saix's head but he never touched his thoughts. This was good. Especially when the ghost appeared. If Xemnas knew how affected Saix was by him, he would have cut some of the strings Saix controlled. Power couldn't be in the hands of men with weakness in their minds or in their hearts.

It was too uncanny. The ghost was all the colours of spring and flame. All the perfect colours and his heart on his tongue leapt and cackled just like fire. Too uncanny. But the heart was swallowed in Saix's presence and laid out again on the red carpet to bow for another boy. That was not correct.

There were other things about the ghost that were not right. The hair, for one. When he had the ghost on his knees and cut his hair with roughly planted fingers and shears that nipped and dove like dolphins, the heart was swallowed, of course, and disdain dripped in big sable dollops onto Saix's boots. Ghosts could be very sarcastic and because this was Lea's ghost, it stuck on him. Where was the heart? Saix felt dragged. He hadn't felt anything since the first eight months. Yet there was the chain of his heart fastened to the lower lip of the new soldier, Axel.

This wasn't Lea's spirit after all. But still, so uncanny. And still the chain was there on Axel's smirking bottom lip. Every smirk pinched Saix's heart and, in a way, it felt heavenly.

Jealousy. Jealousy made him bend, made him lick Axel's footsteps to see where he had been. He had been to see the boy that had protected the witch in Hallow Bastion. That boy was the worst kind of evil. He was the colours of gold and sea and he would sing a siren song to get Axel, Lea's spirit, to crash himself. Axel certainly gained no favour with the Organization by letting the witch and her goblins go. By the way Axel cocked his eyes and body at the boy, there wasn't a doubt that those splendid colours could get Lea's ghost on his knees. Then Zexion gave Saix a name for the little, blond brick wall. That wall had to fall.

When that wall fell it hit another, a solid, burning one, close behind it. Roxas really was sea and earth; he snuffed the wall he fell upon so well. Saix didn't know AxeLea had his quarters so near Roxas'. Fury fucked pleasure in Saix's heart when he toppled Roxas and Lea fell, for a second time, too.

And AxeLea. _Axel_. Standing before him, naked in the grey and fogged bathrooms of headquarters just after Riku had escaped. Fury was still at it with pleasure when Saix took in the body in the shower's hot mist and saw lament for the blond wall in Lea's fucking eyes.

And _Axel_. When he ran away with Lea's body and started that fire...Saix watched the door close on his superior, felt a moment of rage as white and blinding as the snow he stood in before becoming as soft as the drift. He had planned on killing Xemnas, but wouldn't history be sweeter than summer strawberries if Lea's ghost murdered one of his killers? The white farmhouse's windows pitched out with the curling flames of all the burning intensity that Saix's wintery heart just couldn't muster. There was a smile again on his lips. AxeLea sure had spirit.

The wind did carry voices and so he went to the back of the blazing farmhouse...and there were rats trying to chew into the nest AxeLea had made. One was the perfect target to batter the Professor's heart. Saix was usually quite fatal in his shooting, but maybe there was one thawed patch for a fellow orphan. Until the other rat with Riku peeked his head around and recognition dawned. Riku's friend hadn't died then and so Saix had been lied to. So why didn't he pull the trigger?

The back wall of the house burst open with a fiery crackle and he swore it was Lea's impish cackle. The memories flooded in and he was quite thawed. In that moment of spring he caught sight of the two young men vying to be the other's human shield and a seed was planted. Very small and fragile it was...

Still revenge was the only way. There were a lot of footsteps to erase if he wanted a clean slate. He started with Xemnas because the opportunity was there and his newly thawed heart must have been in it because he got a clean shot from an awkward angle. So this wasn't Lea's fiery revenge. Would Lea have done this anyway?

Realization was setting into Saix's bones. Was he dissuaded from his goal? All those footsteps...No, he was too old in his fury, so old that it had gone cold years ago. He'd drag that horse to hell.

He left Riku and Sora hugging in the snow next to the burning house, wishing that Lea and he could be that close again.

He made his way to Twilight Town under the cloak of the night sky. The soldiers were drunk on excitement and didn't see Saix's figure pass in the moonlight. He peered carefully into each window of the hospital. Eventually the monster found his maker.

The window gave with a cold clatter and Diz's eyes glowed as Saix stepped into the room. Riku hadn't lied about this; the old murderer was feeble, lined heavily and noticeably weathered in the eye. Saix moved closer to the bed while Diz did nothing but wheeze.

He took a moment to stare down at the man with his decade's worth of chilled hate. A decade. A decade was more than enough to mature it.

Diz wheezed, Diz spluttered, Diz couldn't drag himself into a proper sitting position, but despite the frailty, he was rather calm in the face and eyes. No excessive amounts of white showing in his eyes, no great 'o' shape of the lips. Because of this Saix was stunned, stunned by silent rage. The moonlight glinted malignantly off his strange amber eyes.

"Saix..." Diz wheezed, struggled to sit up in bed, but managed to get his spine into his pillow. Saix caught Diz's fingers digging into the sheets, he caught them trembling. Diz arched his neck to breathe easier, then looked back to Saix to speak. "Forgive me, I was well aware...you would come."

"Riku?" Saix asked.

"No...no. This," Diz flapped his hand incompetently around his chest. Saix didn't say a word, but Diz laughed at the prophetic and sentimental gesture, "My body knew...I've been aching for the earth...for months. I've been sailing on...the breaths of the young...this is my final voyage...you are my final waters to cross...just your last bridge to burn."

"Yes, I am going to kill you," Saix said and drew a knife from his belt. The blade glinted in the moonlight. It was fine that Diz hadn't been afraid of him up to now. This was where fear would rattle the old man's teeth. The blade shone like the Northern Star and Diz should be afraid.

Diz chuckled breathily.

"Saix...I am terribly sorry...about Lea," the old man gasped and bent forward.

"As you should be when I kill you," Saix said as he took a step closer to the bed.

Again, Diz laughed, a little heavier in his breathing, a little softer in the sound.

"I am also sorry...sorry for this town's people...for Roxas, Riku, Sora...because I let Xemnas take you...and now, here we all are," Diz looked up then and Saix went statuesque. Diz had keen star shine in his eyes and a lopsided smile on his lips. This wasn't a fearful man. Where was the fear? He had to have fear in order for this to work. Diz's smile evened out. "If I had taken you...in...you may have learned...a little about forgiveness."

Saix raised the knife higher, but took a half a step back. Something was wrong. Diz straightened back to sitting, only to huff and pitch forward with his hand clinging and clutching to the cloth over his heart. Diz sat incredibly awkwardly bent in his bed while Saix stood with more weight on his back foot than his front.

Cautiously, Saix sheathed his knife, brought his feet together, stood stonily in the light of the shattered window. Then he took two measured steps forward. With two fingers he prodded Diz's head back and there was no protest. There was no breath for protest because there was no –

_No! No! No!_ This was not – he had no fear, no pain – there was no carefully matured revenge to drown himself stupid in – there was no relief for all these years – no cork drawn with an exquisite _pop!_ to signal the end – no bubbling anger finally released – no hysteria, no fear - _No!_

Certainly not as deftly as he had entered the room, Saix exited, crunching glass and grinding his heels in it.

Under the moon, the wind picked up, puffing drifts like snowy landmines. Saix was fit to burst. Apparently Diz had been too, and Saix was too slow. Ten years...Ten years of hate, steady-hand plans, cool reason and hate. Saix had pulled off the impossible for ten years, reason and hate, together, working together. Was it impossible to jar fire in a container of ice? No. Saix's heart was proof of that. But it had thawed, hadn't it? The boys vying to be killed so the one they loved could live, had seen to that. The jar was gone. There was only fire. So why was Saix strolling composedly in the woods between Twilight Town and Sora's farm? There was no one left worth killing, but he wasn't satisfied. Where to take his fire?

_Let them all burn._

Saix strolled out from the trees' canopy into the meadow, and there slept the debris of the farmhouse. He stared at it and it stared back very lethargically. It groaned a little with the wind, but it was far too spent to do anything but lay. It didn't look particularly unhappy, just exhausted and desiring that animals wouldn't ask shelter of it for it was far too tired. Lea hadn't looked tired when he burnt, he just looked dead.

_Let them all burn._

As if the ability to think equalled the ability to summon on another plane, Saix thought the wind giggling through the sleepy house was rather impish and rather familiar. The flakes and ashes carried by the wind took the form of his dead friend, a laughing dead friend. The spirit had his hands in his pockets and his shoulders thrown back as he strode, giggling, past Saix, calling Saix on. On to Hallow Bastion.

Saix was beginning to understand why Lea would lead him their –

Because, honestly, wasn't everyone who Xemnas touched or touched Xemnas, a part of Xemnas? Xemnas was a target for the fire. Everything Xemnas touched turned into a part of Xemnas. Xemnas was a target for the fire. There was Lea, looking back over his shoulder with his head tilted west.

Saix blinked then continued walking and continued walking right through Lea. The spirit burst with a sigh and a laugh. He would take Lea with him for this final task, and it would be easy to find him that way, soon. After all, Xemnas had raised Saix.


	24. Epilogue

**Disclaimer:** Last one too. And what a great one it is. _100 Suns_ is probably the mellowest song of _This is War_. All I see is the dawn cracking gold in the sky and butter melting gently when I hear it.

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><p><strong>100 Suns<strong>

_I believe in nothing_

_Not in peace and not in_ _war_

_I believe in nothing_

_But the truth in who we are_

In the spring time, Sora buried Roxas in the riverside glade with Axel's body next to him. They had lived even closer together than the two feet between them now and they had loved stronger than the river's current. Sora would never know if Roxas had hated Axel in his last moments, but Kairi had said his brother had died peacefully enough in Axel's arms.

Demyx, who had been taken into the hospital's care as a prisoner of war, had been asked if he would like to attend Axel's funeral, but he declined. At least they assumed he declined when he shrunk away and said he never wanted to see a dead body again.

Sora, Kairi and Naminé befriended Demyx out of the goodness of their hearts, but Riku seemed to reach Demyx more when the ex-soldier shrunk away. Demyx said it was Riku's tougher nature that rang a clearer note through Demyx's head. In private, Demyx admitted to Sora and the girls that it was that Riku's attitude reminded him of Axel.

Demyx healed while Sora, Riku, the girls and everyone else rebuilt Twilight Town. Mickey also offered his aid and his funding was appreciated even if his knights made poor workers. It took them four years to rebuild the worst parts of town, but they finished reconstruction in the spring so everything from the dirt to the clock tower's face looked lively.

During the rebuilding stages Naminé decided to build another apothecary but attached a clinic to it. Kairi pushed herself into Naminé's life and decided to help her run her medical facility. The only ripple Kairi's intrusion made was a smile on Naminé's porcelain face.

After a year of rebuilding the city, Hayner decided to join Twilight Town's police force and Olette, claiming she couldn't trust Hayner in a position of power, also decided to join. She didn't have to worry about Hayner getting more power than he could handle when she became his lieutenant three years later.

Pence was about as helpful as Donald and Goofy who had to have one of them hold the nail while the other hammered, and they still managed to bruise their fingers. Pence made up for his lack of handymanship in his organization ability. The reason why rubble piles became homes again was because Pence knew how to best make use of his talents and his peers.

For four years Riku worked endlessly, only taking the first couples months off when Sora threatened to work alongside him and further wreck his arm as Riku intended to further wreck his leg. When Riku wasn't working on rebuilding the town he was at the orphanage helping Aerith. When Sora wasn't rebuilding the town he was at the hospital rehabilitating Demyx. In the few hours of the week that neither were helping others they helped each other. Though even Riku had to admit that Sora's spirit needed little kindling words from him and it was Riku whose light needed to be regenerated by Sora. When Riku wasn't sweating his anger out clearing away chipped brick and building walls, he was often in Sora's arms, sometimes dull eyed and limp. Sora wouldn't say a word when Riku went silent. He would wrap himself around the taller boy and kiss his forehead and breathe against his neck. Eventually Riku would warm enough to kiss back and sometimes talk about how he felt.

After times when Riku found more energetic means to expel his energy with Sora he would tease his lover about 'rehabilitating' Demyx. Sora would laugh or if the energy was still in him he would find other ways to mouth off.

As the town neared completion, Sora and Riku both spent more time at the orphanage, Demyx often accompanying them. Riku didn't think Demyx would like being around kids considering Demyx was the teenager that never grew up, and Demyx seemed to think likewise. Maybe they both misjudged his nature since after a couple weeks, Demyx was going to the orphanage on his own. Demyx loved playing music and the children loved hearing it, especially up beat songs which keep Demyx's mind from grey thoughts. He also made the perfect toy because he never ran out of batteries when playing and was just as willing to take a nap as the kids were.

Sora and Riku were happy that everyone's lives were falling as neatly into place as the new cobblestones into the streets, but Sora worried about the day when everything was done and Riku had no work to keep his mind occupied. Riku didn't have Kairi or Naminé's tact for healing patients and his gimpy leg kept him from anything exerting like police work. Sora had been tossing the idea of building another farm around in his head, but he wasn't sure if Riku would like the idea or if two crippled young men could run a farm together. Upon suggesting the idea Riku immediately liked it. Riku thought about what they would grow and what type of animals they would raise and maybe he would take to Naminé about physiotherapy in exchange for growing the herbs she couldn't fit in her garden. Sora's only condition was that they would live within ten minute to the town and Riku consented.

Riku, along with all their friends, began the project of raising barns, creating plots and building a farmhouse. Everything went smoothly until Sora and Riku realized that they had made a grave error in the construction of their new home and it was thanks to Demyx.

Demyx had kept clear of all construction zones even though he could tell a hammer from a screwdriver, but he didn't like the labour that came with tools. His aversion to work also kept him away from the newly rising farmhouse until one day he showed up on the half built steps to knock on the windowless windowpane.

"Demyx, are you serious? You're actually volunteering to help?" Sora asked as he appeared on the other side of the window, coated in sweat and sawdust. Riku caught sight of Demyx and heard what Sora had said. He merely snorted derisively before continuing on with his sawing.

"Uh, no. You know me, I can't use a saw."

"Oh, c'mon. You knew how to play a sitar, don't tell me you can't figure out how to swing a hammer," Sora ribbed.

Demyx laughed nervously and said, "I didn't say I couldn't figure it out, just that I don't have the energy to actually do it."

"Then what do you want?" Riku called from what would be the kitchen. Sora called him an ass and they all moved on with their lives.

"Well, I just wanted to know if you guys believe in reincarnation," Demyx asked and eyed them carefully.

Riku and Sora exchanged a look before staring worriedly at the nervous boy before them.

"Demyx, do you need a break from the kids or to talk to someone?" Sora asked seriously.

"No, I'm good or at least I think I'm good," Demyx said as he scratched uncertainly at his neck. "I like working with the kids, y'know, they're young so I'm unlikely to see any of them die before me...I want to keep working with them, it's just there's this new kid and he's so...eerie."

"And you think he's the reincarnation of Xemnas or something?" Riku asked as he came over to lean on the window sill.

"Can I just show you so you guys don't think I'm crazy?" Demyx asked, already sidestepping off the deck in the direction of the orphanage.

Sora looked to Riku who simply shrugged and together they hopped through the window.

* * *

><p>Aerith was watching the children play in the backyard and, upon the four boys' arrival, they all bolted for Demyx. Riku might have felt jealous that his brothers and sisters flocked to Demyx like he was a tail wagging puppy, but the older boys all looked up to him. He was content to let the younger children maul Demyx.<p>

Aerith sighed Demyx's name when she saw who he had brought back to the orphanage.

"Hello boys, I see Demyx has let his superstitions get the better of him," she said with narrowed eyes in her co-worker's direction.

"Nah, I think reincarnation is more of a religious perspective," Riku quipped.

"I'm curious now so I want to meet this kid," Sora said honestly to which Aerith just shook her head and pointed them inside.

She warned them that Demyx may actually have some reason to think that the boy was a reincarnate, but that they shouldn't let their emotions get the best of them. The child was rather sensitive and still adjusting to his new home. He, like many of the orphans, was transported from the Citadel to Twilight Town. His previous caregivers hadn't been very unique in naming him and Demyx joked that at least he hadn't been born in a washroom and named latrine.

At the end of the hall where the young boys' sleeping quarters were was where Sora tiptoed up to. He tried peering in the door but the boy must have been at the other end out of sight. Riku came up behind Sora and gave the door a shove open.

"I'm trying to be stealthy," Sora said as Riku _clomp_ed into the room with his hands in his pockets and shoulders rolled back.

"No, you look..." Riku's insult trailed off as he came face to face with the object of curiosity. He now understood Demyx's alarm.

"I look like what?" Sora laughed as he walked up behind Riku.

"Roxas," Riku muttered.

"What?" Sora asked and then grew silent as his eyes fell to the little blond boy holding a toy cow in his hands. The boy stared up at his visitors with wondering wide, blue eyes and a slight pout on his face. He took a hesitant step back as Sora ogled him without finesse.

"Wow, he does look just like him," Sora breathed, his eyes already misting over at the likeness.

Riku gave Sora a sidelong glance before kneeling on his good knee before the child.

"You're Ven, right?" Riku asked and the boy nodded after retreating another couple steps. Riku put a hand to his chest and said, "I'm Riku, one of your big brothers."

"And I'm Sora," Sora said as he too got down on his knees. He put his hand to his heart and murmured gently, "I'm your brother too."

Ven held his toy to his cheek as he looked at from one man to the next. Timidly he shuffled his feet and blinked several times before working up the nerve to speak.

"I don't know you," he finally said but didn't retreat any further. He swayed from side to side as he waited for a reaction.

Riku and Sora shared a chuckle. Ven smiled and pressed his toy against his cheek.

"He's not a reincarnate if he doesn't know us, I guess," Sora joked. He turned to Ven and asked, "Does the name Roxas sound familiar?"

"No, I'm Ven," he answered, smiling as if he understood Sora's joke.

"How old are you, Ven?" Riku asked.

"I'm Ve – I mean I'm four," Ven said and blushed at his mistake.

"You seem very smart for your age," Sora said.

Ven smiled into his cow as he laughed out, "We just met. You don't know me."

"Well, that answer just proved how smart you are."

Ven beamed and took an excited step forward as he boasted, "I'm an artist too. Come see."

It didn't take long for Ven to warm to Sora and Riku, especially Sora. To Riku it seemed that Sora took Ven into his heart the moment he had called him his brother and it was only a few months before they welcomed him into their home. It stressed Riku a little to have to revise the farmhouse to make room for Ven, but he thought with Ven's addition the farmhouse felt more like a home. Ven's departure from the orphanage relieved Demyx of his worries about ghosts. Although, they did have to call Demyx down from the roof of their happy abode when Ven returned from his first day of school with his new friend Lea.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Is it a happy ending? I'm not entirely sure myself. But I do feel warmer with this finish. Maybe because I kept Demyx around. Well, all done, guys. Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed the journey!


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